


New Adjustments to a Little World

by battlecry7473



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Caregivers, Dinah is older than Lauren and Camila in this, Little!Camila, Littles, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, also Lauren has been through some shit so warning for mentions of abuse, camren is hella lowkey btw, little!Lauren, mama!Ally, mama!Dinah, mama!Normani, set in an AU where BDSM type roles are assigned, there is exactly one (1) nursing scene btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 13:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 91,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17898698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battlecry7473/pseuds/battlecry7473
Summary: AU. In a society where a personality test determines the role you play, there are dominants, submissives, caretakers, and littles. When Lauren gets her results back, she's thrust into a role she's not prepared to play.  Can Lauren learn to adapt to this new role?***Contains Non-sexual Ageplay***Started: May 18, 2017Completed: December 31, 2017**Cross-posted from Wattpad





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posting this from Wattpad. There's mentions of abuse throughout but I'll try to remember which chapters that happens in.

Lauren stood in front of the counter, her hands shaking, a slight sweat to her complexion as she stared at an envelope sitting in front of her.

“Hey, Lauren!” her best friend and roommate, Camila, called as she entered their apartment.

“In here,” the older girl replied weakly.

Camila must have heard though because she appeared in the kitchen a few moments later. She took in the sight, and smiled sympathetically. “I take it your test results came,” she stated obviously.

“They did.”

“Have you opened them?”

Lauren shook her head, clenching her eyes shut. She couldn’t look at the papers. She didn’t want to know what sort of future lay ahead of her.

Camila gently laid a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Lauren, no matter what the results say, it’ll be okay,” she promised.

Lauren scoffed. “Easy for you to say,” she muttered bitterly. “You knew what you would be by the time we were sixteen, you even took the test early!” she argued, sitting on a kitchen stool.

“It still took  bit of adjusting, even for me,” the younger girl pointed out calmly. She knew Lauren was scared of what the paper could say.

When you turned eighteen, you had to take a personality test that assigned your role in society: dominant, submissive, caretaker, or little.

While the dominant and submissive roles were usually in sexual contexts, the caretaker and little roles were not to ever be used in sexual contexts.

The test was mandatory at the age of eighteen, but it could be voluntarily taken as early as sixteen. Those who took it early were usually people like Camila, who knew early what role they would be assigned.

Camila knew by the time they had entered high school that she was a little. She loved playing with children’s toys, watching childish tv shows and movies, wearing more kiddish clothing, and letting people make decisions for her. She preferred to hand control over to someone else, and for a while, before she took the test to confirm her role and found her caretakers, it was usually Lauren who she gave that control over herself to.

Lauren, who never felt comfortable being in such a dominant position, even though she dressed more like a dominant and gave off a cool, confident vibe. She took care of Camila when the younger was little (not so much now that her friend had found her own caretakers, but sometimes Camila would slip into her headspace when she was at their apartment), but it never felt quite right to her to be in that more dominant role. Lauren may put up  a badass persona, but she knew inside she was anything but.

And it terrified her to possibly have that flaunted back at her in that letter. Because Lauren may not like having control of others, but that didn’t mean she wanted to hand control of herself to someone else.

Lauren sighed, looking up at Camila. “I don’t want to look,” she admitted hoarsely, tears forming in her bright green eyes. “Camila, I can’t look!” she exclaimed, shoving the letter away.

The younger girl picked the envelope up off the floor. “Lauren, look at me,” she ordered softly. When green eyes hesitantly met her own, she smiled warmly. “No matter what that letter says, I will still love you,” she promised. “Nothing changed between us when I got my results back, did it?” she asked.

Lauren sighed, looking away. “No, nothing changed,” she answered quietly. “I helped you, until you found your caretakers.”

“Right. Lauren, that paper doesn’t change who you are to me. You will still be Lauren Jauregui, my best friend.” She wrapped her arms around the older girl, hugging her tightly. “You will still be my Lauren, nothing will change that.”

Lauren nodded, letting out a nervous breath. She took the letter from the girl’s hands, opening it slowly.

“This won’t change anything?” the older girl asked timidly, looking up to the other girl with pleading eyes.

“This changes nothing.”

Lauren nodded, let out an anxious breath, and tore the letter from the envelope, scanning it over quickly.

Her thoughts, and fears, were confirmed there in black and white.

Lauren Jauregui was a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really proofread. Any mistakes are mine.

Lauren laid her face in her hands, tears slowly slipping down her cheeks. “What am I going to do?” she asked between sobs.

Camila gently tugged the older girl off the stool, leading her into the living room. She sat down on the couch, pulling Lauren to sit next to her, bringing Lauren into her side. “Do you want to try and challenge the results?” she questioned softly.

Anyone could challenge their test results and retake the test, in case of a mix up in results. The test could be retaken up to three times, but usually by the results of the second retake the outcomes were clear.

Lauren shook her head. “No, it would just say the same thing,” she admitted with a coarse voice. “It’s not worth fighting it if I know it’s not going to change,” she reasoned sadly, curling into the younger girl’s side further.

Camila gave her a soft smile. “So, are you going to register your results as official soon, then?” she asked carefully.

“I mean, I have to,” the black haired girl replied, as it was required to make the results offical within two weeks of receiving the letter. “I just, I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want to face the fact that I’m a-” she cut herself off with a choked cry, not wanting to say the word out loud.

“Little,” the younger girl supplied, knowing her friend was struggling.

Lauren nodded. “I didn’t want to deal with it, so now I don’t know what to do,” she continued, wiping away a few stray tears. “Don’t I have to get like, a caseworker or something?”

“Only if you plan to live on your own,” Camila answered. “If you plan on finding your own caretaker, then no. The caseworker is only to make sure that you can take care of yourself when you’re in little space, and that you can continue to live on your own.”

“But I haven’t looked for a caretaker,” the green eyed girl mumbled. “I haven’t done anything. I’m not prepared for this!” she yelled, standing to pace the room.

“Lauren, it’s okay. You’re fine” the other girl soothed. “You don’t have to have anything figured out right now. We have time to figure it out,” she assured.

Lauren shook her head. “No, it’s not okay! I don’t know how to do this!” she exclaimed. “I don’t know how to, to be a lit-little!” she stuttered, her breathing becoming erratic and tears cascading down her face.

Camila stood and pulled the older girl into her body as the other girl’s legs gave out, gently lowering them to the floor as Lauren cried. “Lo, it’s okay,” she whispered soothingly. “You’re okay, it’ll be okay. You don’t have to know anything,” she assured. “This isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time, and that’s perfectly fine.”

She sat on the floor with the older girl in her arms, rocking back and forth as sobs wracked Lauren’s body. Camila ran her hand up and down the girl’s arm, letting her cry out her emotions.

When Lauren finally calmed down, the younger girl spoke quietly, “You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. We’ll take it a little bit at a time and get everything sorted.”

Lauren nodded, laying her head in the crook of Camila’s neck. “Thank you,” she whispered hoarsely. “For not leaving me.”

The younger girl shook her head furiously, her heart aching. “Never, Lauren,” she proclaimed. “You didn’t abandon me when I told you I was a little, even when it wasn’t confirmed. I’m not going to leave you now.”

“Will you go with me? When I go to confirm the results and everything, will go with me?” Lauren asked shyly, vulnerability reflected in her green eyes.

“Of course! Did you really think I would let you go through this alone?” Camila asked incredulously. She reached into her phone, sending out a quick text, receiving a reply a few moments later. “Alright, come on. Let’s get changed and cuddle in bed,” she said, standing and holding a hand out to the other girl.

“Don’t you have to go back to your caregivers?”

Camila shook her head. “No, I texted them and said I’d be back tomorrow night instead. I’m staying with you tonight.”

It wasn’t required to live with your caretakers permanently; in fact, it was even recommended that littles have a place for themselves for when they weren’t in headspace. Some littles still held day jobs and had schedules for when they would slip into headspace.

Camila spent the weekends working part time at a pet store, cleaning out hamster cages, making sure the cats and dogs had food and water (and got to play with them, the best part of her job), and other simple tasks a little could do easily. She spent most of the week with her caretakers, but spent Friday through Sunday nights with Lauren in their shared apartment, as that was Camila’s place to go when she wasn’t little.

Lauren shook her head. “No, you should go back to them; I don’t want to be a bother to you,” she mumbled.

“No, you are not a bother,” Camila said sternly, causing the other girl to look up at her with wide eyes. “I am staying because I don’t want you to be alone. I know you’re upset with your results, and I am going to stay here and comfort you. You are not a bother; I want to be here, okay?” she asked, pulling Lauren into her body.

“Yes.”

“Good.” The younger girl nodded resolutely. “Now come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

\--------

“I really don’t want to do this,” Lauren grumbled as they stood outside of the registration office.

Camila rolled her eyes. “Do you want to retake the test instead?”

“It’s just going to come back the same.”

“Then let’s go in and get it over with. Then maybe you won’t be so annoying.”

The green eyed girl looked at her friend with wide eyes. “I didn’t mean to annoy you,” she whispered, rocking on her feet nervously.

Camila’s eyes softened, and she gently grabbed Lauren’s shoulder. “You didn’t annoy me, I was just messing with you,” she explained apologetically. “I’m sorry I made you think that.”

Lauren let out a long breath, turning to the door. “Okay, let’s go,” she mumbled.

They walked into the building, finding it surprisingly empty.

“Hi guys! Can I help you?” an older woman behind the desk greeted them.

Lauren noticed her name tag read _Janna_ when they reached the counter. “I uh, I need to confirm the results I got in this letter,” she explained, nervously pulling the envelope from her jacket’s pocket.

“I see. And you don’t want to retake the test?” the woman clarified.

Lauren shook her head, not making eye contact.

“She’d just like to get her confirmation registered,” Camila answered.

Janna smiled softly. “Of course. I’ll just need your name and ID, please,” she requested.

Lauren reached for her wallet, handing over her driver’s license. “Lauren Jauregui,” she supplied.

The older woman typed a few things on the computer. “Do you have a caretaker?” she asked, handing back the letter and Lauren’s license.

“No, I don’t,” the black haired girl answered quietly.

“Are you going to be looking for one? Do you live on your own? Are you able to provide for yourself?”

Lauren shook her head, beginning to get overwhelmed by the questions. She really didn’t like this.

“We’re going to look for a caretaker for her,” Camila replied, sensing her friend’s distress. “And as of right now, she shares an apartment with me, and works at the public library,” she explained.

Janna nodded, typing a few more things. “Okay, these pamphlets,” she began, handing over a few of said items, “are numbers of resources and helplines for Littles. You can find caretakers, financial aid, just about anything you might need assistance with. Since you’ve expressed interest in finding a caretaker of your own, I won’t assign a caseworker yet. But if I don’t hear from you in a month to know if you’ve found one, you will be assigned one,” she continued. “They’ll make sure you’re taking care of yourself living on your own, and provide help if you need it.”

“Okay, thank you,” Lauren replied quietly, grabbing the offered items.

“Do you have any questions?” the older woman asked kindly.

The black haired girl shook her head, looking at the floor. “No, thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Janna said. “If you have any questions later, you can call any of those numbers, or call our office.”

“Thank you,” Camila responded, sending the older woman a smile. She grabbed Lauren’s hand and led her out of the building. “Okay, I’ll take you back to the apartment, but then I do need to go back to my caregivers,” she said apologetically. “I’ll see if I can come back tonight though,” she added.

The older girl shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. You need your little time, Camila. I’ll be fine.”

“Promise?” the younger girl asked.

“Promise.” Lauren held her pinkie out, which the other girl linked with her own, smiling at the black haired girl.

\------

Twenty minutes later, the two were walking through the front door of their apartment.

“Okay, I’m just going to grab my bag and head out,” Camila said, disappearing down the hall as Lauren went to sit on the couch. She appeared a few moments later. “Call me if you need me,” she ordered softly. “I’ll let them know what’s going on, and that I may have to leave. And before you argue-” she cut Lauren off before the girl could interject “-I want to help you, Lauren. You helped me before I found my caretakers. You’re my best friend, and I love you, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Lauren sighed, knowing she couldn’t argue with the younger girl. “Okay, I’ll call you if I need to,” she agreed reluctantly. She hated bothering the other girl when she was in her little space.

Camila grinned, kissing Lauren’s temple. “Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow night,” she said, running out the door before Lauren could argue.

The older girl hated that she was keeping Camila away from being little (even though Camila would argue that she was fine with it). She laid down completely on the couch, curling her knees into her chest.

She could do this, she thought to herself. Eventually she drifted off, deciding everything could wait another day or so.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Camila-centric chapter (and the only one in the fic really) to give a bit of background.
> 
> Not well proofread. Any mistakes are mine.

Camila Cabello was a little, and she was proud to admit it. She loved being little, she didn’t have to worry about anything. She got to play, sleep, watch all kinds of kids’ shows and movies, and she didn’t have to worry about any adult problems when she was little. 

Camila knew she was a little pretty early on. When she and Lauren entered their freshman year of high school, she started exhibiting more childish habits. She found that sucking her thumb gave her a lot of comfort when she was upset, and started making a habit of it when she was alone. She also began preferring more childish movies and shows over the teen dramas the rest of the girls her age were obsessing over (except Lauren, Camila didn’t really know what her friend watched but the older girl never had a problem having Disney movie marathons with her, which she appreciated very much). 

She got tired of hiding her little self from her best friend, and after a few months, she confided in her best friend, telling her everything. Lauren sat calmly on the younger girl’s bed, listening intently as she confessed everything. The older girl had smiled softly, said “It’s okay, Camz, I still love you,” and offered to let the girl be little when they were together.

Camila was so happy to have Lauren as her best friend. The black haired girl had gone out and gotten Camila a few onesies, a pacifier (“Sucking your thumb will ruin your teeth, Camz.”), and all kinds of toys, her favorite being a stuffed orangutan Lauren had bought her when they had visited the zoo (Lauren earned a slap on the arm when she said the apes weren’t cute, but Camila apologized later when she felt bad about it).

As soon as Camila had turned sixteen, she went and took the personality test, and two weeks later her letter with the results had arrived. The expected results were written on the paper, and a few days later Camila was officially a little. Lauren and she had purchased their own small apartment (Camila’s parents helped with that) at the end of junior year, and they had lived there since. 

She was lucky when it came to finding her caretaker, because not only did she have one mommy, she had three! She loved her mommies, and they loved her. 

_ \------ _

_ It was actually by luck that she found her caretakers. She was at the Lil’ Tots Depot, one of the stores in town made especially for littles, trying to get a package of pull ups with cute little lions and giraffes on them, but they were too far back on the top shelf for her to reach. She had slipped too far into her little space at the time to be rational and get different ones, and she was growing upset. She felt a tantrum building, angry tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, when a hand had reached up and grabbed the desired pull ups. _

_ The stranger handed her the package of pull ups, looking at her concernedly. “What’s a little one like you doing here all alone?” she asked softly. _

_ Camila looked up at the older woman, wiping away her tears, trying to appear more like her bigger self. “‘Eeded ups,” she mumbled, motioning to the package of pull ups. “‘ot ‘ittle when got here.” _

_ “Are you here by yourself?”  _

_ Camila shook her head. “Lolo up front waiting,” she explained, because Lauren had promised to wait at the front of the store; she hadn’t planned on taking so long. _

_ “What’s your name, little one?” the dark skinned woman questioned. _

_ “Camila,” the girl answered. “What you name?” _

_ “Normani,” the woman answered, smiling softly. “Camila, is Lolo your caretaker?” she questioned. She was concerned about the small girl being alone in a store if she was little without one. _

_ The younger girl shook her head. “Lolo not taked test,” she explained. She looked at the floor, taking in a few deep breaths. “Lauren, she uh,” she started, sounding much more like her older self. “She just helps me when I’m little. Just until I find a caretaker.” She refused to look up at the other woman, embarrassed that she had fallen into headspace so quickly in public. It had been a stressful day though, so it really wasn’t that surprising. _

_ “I see,” Normani replied.  _

_ “I just haven’t liked any of the few I’ve met with so far,” Camila added quietly. “It’s hard when they want you to be little almost immediately after meeting them. I can't do that, I need to be comfortable with them before I can be in my headspace around them, you know?” she asked rhetorically. _

_ The older woman smiled kindly. “That’s understandable,” she replied. “Being little isn’t something that happens overnight, even if you completely trust someone before you show them your headspace.” _

_ The girl nodded in agreement. “Some people just don’t understand,” she whispered.  _

_ Normani hummed in thought. “My girlfriends and I are looking for a little, if you’re interested,” she started carefully. “You don’t have to, but how about I give you my number, and we meet somewhere and talk things over, and you meet them?” she suggested. “You don’t have to, like I said, but if you want, just call or text this number,” she said, pulling out a slip of paper and writing her number on it before handing it to the girl. “Don’t worry about it if you’re not comfortable. This decision is up to you, but we’d be happy to meet up with you if want.” _

_ “And I don’t have to if I don’t want to?” Camila asked quietly, just to be sure. _

_ “Of course not. This is all up to you,” the woman assured. “If you don’t want to ever talk to us, you don’t have to. I won’t be upset if you don’t contact me.” _

_ Camila liked that thought. _

_ “No decisions would be made right away,” Normani added. “This would just be a getting to know each other conversation. And then after that, if you want,” she stressed, “we could discuss everything else.” _

_ The girl nodded, accepting the slip of paper. “Thank you for getting the pull ups,” she mumbled sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. _

_ “You’re welcome, cutie,” Normani replied, laughing. _

_ Camila blushed, looking away. “Um, I will think about your offer.” _

_ “That’s all I ask. If you don’t want to take me up on it, that’s no problem.” _

_ Camila nodded, thanked the woman again, and made her way to the front register.  _

_ When Normani was paying for the supplies she had purchased, she saw Camila walking over to a girl who looked just a little bit older. The smaller girl was talking animatedly as the taller one listened, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple before taking her hand and leading Camila out of the store. _

_ Camila had met with Normani and her girlfriends, Dinah and Ally about a week later, and after a few weeks of meetings and discussions, Camila decided she wanted to be their little. _

\-----

Finally reaching the house, Camila walked up the front porch and knocked on the door with a playful pattern. Her mommies’ house was just a few blocks away from her and Lauren’s apartment, so she usually walked back and forth between the two. Somewhere between leaving the apartment and getting to the house she had fallen deep into her headspace and forgot about the key her mommies had given her.

A short blonde opened the door, smiling when she saw the younger girl standing in front of her. “Hi, baby!” she greeted, smiling happily. “Where’s your key, Mila?” she asked curiously, letting the younger one into the house.

The brunette shrugged, letting Ally take her backpack. “In pack, mama,” she replied unhelpfully, kissing the older woman’s cheek.

The older woman rolled her eyes. “Come on, baby. Have you eaten dinner yet?” she questioned as she led the girl into the kitchen.

Camila shook her head, following her into the kitchen. “Hi, mommy! Hi, mama!” she greeted the other two women as she entered the kitchen, running to place kisses on both their cheeks.

“Well hello, Miss Camila,” Normani greeted. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” she gasped dramatically, tickling the girl’s sides.

“No, mommy, ‘top!” the girl squealed, running away from the attacks. She hid behind Dinah, pouting at the dark skinned woman. “Mommy ‘ean,” she whined. “No ‘inner for ‘er.”

Normani looked at her with mock horror. “No pizza for mommy tonight?”

Camila gasped in shock. “‘Izza?” she questioned excitedly.

“Yeah, baby, pizza,” Dinah confirmed. “Now, can you be nice and let mommy have some, too?” she asked, sending the older woman a smirk.

The girl considered for a moment, before nodding. “‘Kay, mommy have ‘inner, but no ‘ickles,” she stated.

Normani grinned, lifting the girl up and peppering her face with kisses. “Thank you, Miss Mila!” she exclaimed exaggeratedly.

Camila laughed, squirming to get away from the assault of kisses. “‘An’ ‘own, mommy,” she begged. “I help?”

Normani gently set her on the ground, nodding. “You can help set the table.”

The brunette clapped happily, excited to be a helper. She took the plates and napkins Ally held out for her and set them at three spots on the table, plus on her special high chair.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” The shorter blonde lifted the girl up and onto the seat, strapping the girl to make sure she couldn’t fall and tying a bib around her neck.

Dinah brought the pizza over, setting in the middle of the table. “One slice or two, Mila?” 

“‘Wo p’ease!”

The taller blonde nodded, setting two slices on a plate, cutting them into smaller pieces. She set the plate in front of the girl before turning to get her own food.

“Water or juice, baby?” Normani asked, walking over to the fridge.

“‘Uice!”

Once the dark skinned woman had set a bottle of juice on the high chair’s tray, everyone dug in. It was apparently a good thing they had given the girl a bib because by the time they were done eating, her face was a mess of sauce and juice (how she managed that when it was in a baby bottle they’ll never know) and the bib wasn’t much better.

“I think a certain someone needs a bath,” Dinah mused as she helped the girl out of her seat.

“Baf! Baf, mama!” Camila cheered, letting the blonde pick her up.

“Can one of you grab some clothes and a pull up and set them in the nursery for me?” Dinah requested as she walked out of the kitchen.

“Sure thing, babe,” Normani replied. “Be good for mama, Mila. And don’t make a mess in the bath,” she ordered.

Camila nodded. “Yes, mommy!”

Dinah carried the girl up to the bathroom, setting her on the counter. She grabbed a washcloth and wet it before gently washing the girl’s face. “You sure are a messy eater,” she said, poking the girl’s tummy.

Camila giggled, pushing the older woman’s hand away. “‘Top, mama!”

Dinah set the cloth aside, turning to start filling the tub. Once she had the water set to a comfortable temperature, she left the water run, turning back to undress Camila. She gently tugged the girl’s shirt over head, unclasping her bra and throwing them aside. She proceed to pull off the girl’s jeans, leaving her in just a pull up. 

“Did you put this on yourself, baby?”

Camila nodded proudly. “A’fore I camed here.”

Dinah smiled amusedly. “It’s on backwards, sweets.”

The girl pouted. She was really proud of herself for getting the pull up on before she left the apartment.

“It’s okay, Mila. I’m very proud of you for trying,” the blonde praised, pressing a kiss to the girl’s forehead. She turned to check the water, and shut it off seeing the tub was filled up enough. “Let’s get you in the bath now,” she said, lifting the younger one off the counter and depositing her in the water.

“Toys, mama?” Camila requested shyly.

“Of course.” The taller woman grabbed the bath crayon set and the set of rubber zoo animals.

The brunette clapped happily, grabbing the rubber lion and starting to ‘walk’ it around the edge of the tub. 

“How was your weekend, baby?” Dinah asked, beginning to wash the girl’s hair.

This was their routine when Camila was little. Dinah was in charge of bathtime (usually, unless she wasn’t feeling well or had to work late) and would use the time to ask the younger one about her week, making sure nothing serious was going on outside of Camila’s time spent at the house that they needed to be worried about. They may be her caretakers when she was little, but that didn’t mean they didn’t still care about her when she was out of her headspace.

“Good, mama!” the girl replied, chasing the giraffe with the lion toy. “I gots to ‘eed and p’ay with new kitties,” she recounted.

“Oh, you got new kittens at the pet store?” Dinah knew how much Camila loved working at the store, that was usually what the girl talked about most of the time. While they could easily help Camila out with her payment for the apartment she shared with Lauren (though they had never met the girl before), they knew Camila loved working at the pet store and so they never brought it up.

“Uh uh. And then Lolo got her ‘etter, and she was sad. I no liked dat. Lolo to ‘retty to be sad, mama.”

The blonde frowned, rinsing the girl’s hair out. “Who’s Lolo, baby? And why she was sad about her letter?” She had a feeling she knew where this was going, but she wanted to be sure.

“Lolo ‘ive wif me. Not ‘an’ take test. She a ‘ittle ‘ike me,” Camila answered absentmindedly, deciding to color on the walls with her crayons. “She no ‘an’ be ‘ittle and is sad now. Mama, I not like when Lolo sad.”

“Mila, sweetie, does Lauren have a caretaker?” Dinah asked, stopping the girl from her coloring.

The brunette shook her head. “I helping find one for her.”

Dinah grabbed a washcloth, running it over the girl’s body as she thought over the information Camila had given her. Finally, she rinsed off the soap and pulled the girl out of the tub, wrapping her in a fluffy towel and pulling the plug from the drain. She hoisted Camila up onto her hip, carrying her into the nursery.

She checked the time, seeing it was nearing eight o’clock, which meant Camila should be going to bed soon. “How about some milk and we watch a movie before bed, sweets?” she asked as she placed a pull up on the girl before dressing her in a pink onesie with little pandas all over it.

Camila nodded, holding her arms out to be picked up.

Dinah picked the brunette up, settling her on her hip before venturing down to the living room.

Normani and Ally were sitting on the couch, the shorter blonde holding out a bottle of milk, already warmed, and Lilo and Stitch main menu on the tv.

The small girl wriggled in the taller blonde’s arms, trying to get to Ally.

“I see how it is,” Dinah teased. “You’re leaving me for momma, just because she has your bottle.” She helped the girl get settled in the older woman’s lap before going to cuddle with Normani.

Camila curled into Ally’s side, taking the nipple of the bottle, letting the warm liquid soothe her as the movie started. About halfway through the movie, Ally looked down to see the small brunette had drifted off completely. Normani stood and took the younger girl, carrying her upstairs to the nursery.

“What do you guys thinks about taking in another little?” Dinah asked when she returned, looking at the older women seriously.

“Why are you asking?” Ally questioned.

The younger blonde sighed, sitting up. “Apparently Camila’s roommate’s test results came back assigning her as a little, and she’s scared and upset. She didn’t even want to take the test. Camila also told me she doesn’t like to see ‘Lolo’ so sad.”

“Her not wanting to take the test sounds like someone we know,” Normani said pointedly, looking to the younger blonde.

“Hey! I took it eventually! I had time!” 

“Dinah, you literally had two days before your nineteenth birthday when you took the test. You did not have time,” Ally retorted, rolling her eyes. 

Normani nodded. “And then you complained the entire way there about how you should have taken it sooner, which is exactly what we told you to do.”

The younger woman stuck her tongue out at her girlfriends. “Jerks,” she mumbled.

The older blonde rolled her eyes. “Are we going to talk to Camila about her roommate?” she questioned, looking at the other two expectantly.

The dark skinned woman shrugged. “I mean, we could at least extend the offer to meet us like we did with Camila.”

“Technically that was all you,” Ally pointed out. “Dinah?” 

“I think we should talk with Camila.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief but not explicit mentions of abuse.
> 
> Not well proofread (honestly this entire fic isn't). Any mistakes are mine.

Lauren was awoken by someone shaking her awake. She whined in protest, throwing her arm out to shove the person away.

“Ow! What the fuck, Lauren?” Camila grumbled.

The older girl cracked an eye open to see her roommate rubbing her arm with a scowl. “‘O ‘way,” she mumbled.

“No, come one, Lo,” Camila refused, adjusting Lauren so the older girl was sitting up and taking a seat next to her. “Have you been asleep since last night?” she asked concernedly. “You’re still in the clothes from yesterday.”

The black haired girl shrugged. “Didn’t sleep much,” she replied.

The younger girl gave her a stern look. “Lauren, you can’t do this,” she scolded. “Come on, we’re going to get you in the shower and in a change of clothes, and then we’re getting dinner,” she said, grabbing the other girl’s hand and dragging her to the bathroom. “Okay, get undressed and in the shower. I’m going to get you a change of clothes,” she ordered, exiting the bathroom. She turned back around. “What do you want for dinner? I’m going to order something while I’m getting you clothes. We could get pizza, even though I had that last night.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “You always want pizza.”

“It’s not my fault they limit me when I’m little!”

“I’m sure if they didn’t you’d eat until you were sick. I swear you love pizza more as your little self than your adult self does.”

The smaller girl pouted, shoving the other girl lightly. “Jerk. What do you want to do for dinner?”

Lauren hummed in thought. “Sushi?”

“Ewww, why?” Camila wrinkled her nose in disgust. At the older girl’s puppy dog eyes, she groaned in defeat. “Fine.”

“Yay!” the black haired girl clapped happily.

“Fine, I’m going to go order. I’m assuming you want your usual?” At the other girl’s nod, Camila left the bathroom.

Lauren sighed, beginning to follow her friend’s instructions. She removed her dirty clothes, tossing them aside before turning on the water. Once it was at an acceptable temperature, she stepped under the spray, letting her thoughts run.

She hadn’t slept well throughout the night because she couldn’t stop thinking about her test results. How the hell was she supposed to be a little? She  _ hated _ giving control over herself to other people. She knew she wouldn’t be a caretaker or dominant, but she had hoped against hope that she could have still gotten one of those results. At least that way not much about her life would change. Hell, even getting submissive as her determination would have been better. At least then she wouldn’t have to find a caretaker/dominant or have a case worker to come check to make sure she was taking care of herself. She could do that just fine, thank you very much!

She started growing agitated thinking about everything, and soon it was becoming harder to breathe. She tried to calm herself, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her breathing back to normal. She felt her back hit the shower wall, before she lowered herself to the floor, tears falling freely down her cheeks, and sobs wracking her.

The sliding door to the shower opened, and she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. “Lauren, babe, calm down,” Camila’s voice whispered in her ear, pulling the older girl into her chest. “Come on, breathe with me,” the younger girl continued, taking an exaggeratedly deep inhale and letting it out slowly.

Lauren copied the other girl, and after a few minutes, her breathing returned to normal. She turned to hide her face in her friend’s shoulder, cries still escaping her.

Camila hugged the older girl closer. “What’s got you so upset, Lo?” she asked softly.

“I ca-can’t do th-this,” the green eyed girl stuttered.

The brunette ran her hand up and down the other girl’s back, running her fingers gently over the scars on the girl’s back. She pressed a kiss to the older girl’s temple. “You don’t have to do anything right now,” she assured. “No one is forcing you to do anything right now, Lauren. It is perfectly fine to not be little right now,” she promised.

“It’s just so overwhelming,” the older girl admitted, her cries finally slowing.

“I know it is,” Camila agreed. “But it’s okay, Lauren. Being little and having a headspace doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, and that’s fine.”

“Yeah, but you have a headspace already.”

“But I didn’t just develop one in a single day,” Camila argued. “You have time, don’t worry about it right now, okay? Let’s just get you washed up and get dinner. Have you eaten anything today?” she asked worriedly.

Lauren’s stomach growled loudly, reminding her she had in fact not eaten since lunch the day before.

The younger one sighed. “You have to take care of yourself, Lauren,” she chastised, leaning back to look at the older girl. “I know this is scary, but you can’t just shut down like this. Now come on, finish up here. I’m going to go jump in the other shower real quick and change.” She kissed the girl’s forehead once more before leaving.

Lauren sighed, finishing her shower. Camila was right, she couldn’t just stop taking care of herself. That was going to get her a caretaker if someone found out, and she could manage just fine on her own. She didn’t need help, and she’d prove it!

She shut off the water, stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself. Once she had dried off, she grabbed the clothes Camila had gotten for her, a pair of jeans and a plain black tshirt, and her favorite, slightly oversized sweater. The other girl knew her too well, apparently.

“Lauren, food’s here,” Camila called from the other side of the door.

“Alright, coming.” The black haired girl took in her exhausted appearance in the mirror before walking out to the living room. “Thank you for getting sushi. I know it’s not your favorite.” She kissed the younger girl’s cheek before plopping down on the couch next to her.

“Yeah, well, at least I can get rice and chicken,” Camila mumbled. “I don’t know what that-” she pointed to Lauren’s meal “-is, and I don’t want to know.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “You don’t eat anything unless you know exactly what it is,” she retorted. “Which is why we always get pizza or burgers when we do takeout. I wanted something different this time.”

“Okay, but why did it have to be sushi?”

The older girl shook her head, an amused smile on her lips.

They ate in comfortable silence, absently watching whatever was on tv at the moment.

When Camila finished, she set her plate on the coffee table and looked at the other girl. “Lauren, can I talk to you about your situation?” she asked carefully, not wanting to cause another episode like in the bathroom.

“What about it?” Lauren asked, not looking at the brunette.

“What do you want to do about a caretaker?” the younger girl started, watching the other girl’s reactions. “Do you want to find one? Or do you want to continue living on your own and have a caseworker come around to check on you every once in awhile?”

Lauren tensed, looking down at her lap. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t like the idea of someone coming around to check on me, so I don’t want a caseworker. I can take care of myself just fine.”

Camila gave her a sympathetic look, take the other girl’s hand and giving it a soft squeeze.

“But I also don’t like the idea of having someone else take care of me, having that kind of power, even if it’s a good thing, over me and making decisions for me. ,” the green eyed girl continued shakily. “You of all people know that.”

“I do,” Camila confirmed, thinking back to the summer before their junior year.

Lauren’s dad was the owner of a multi-million dollar company. His company, and those of his partners, often held high profile charity events and dinners, which Lauren was forced to attend throughout childhood.

Lauren was always told what to wear and how to act in order not to embarrass her father. If she didn’t follow through on Michael Jauregui’s orders, well, Camila was always suspicious as to why Lauren missed almost a week of school every month or so when they were kids.

The final straw came right after sophomore year ended. Her dad’s company was holding a dinner for potential partners who would benefit the company extremely. Michael arranged for Lauren to attend the function with one of the investors’ son, Bradley. Lauren, in fear of what could happen if she said no, reluctantly agreed.

While she wasn’t entirely comfortable throughout the night, it wasn’t until Bradley wanted to take Lauren to a hotel nearby that it went wrong. Lauren politely declined, but as his persuasion tactics grew more and more forceful, her protests turned more and more desperate. It ended with her accidentally pushing him into a dessert table. And while the investors didn’t drop out, Michael was still furious at the embarrassment the incident caused to him.

Lauren tried to explain what really happened, pleaded with her father to understand, but he wouldn’t have it. When they finally got home, Lauren received the worst beating of her life, one that left her struggling to walk to Camila’s house and away from her father.

The younger girl was horrified to see the bruises on her friend’s body, and the gashes, that could have only come from a belt or whip-type instrument, littering her back. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually the older girl agreed to let Camila’s parents, who were both well renowned doctors, treat her injuries. When she confessed everything to them, the Cabellos refused to allow her to go back to her father. They helped her file for emancipation, and bought an apartment for the two on the conditions that they both get part time jobs.

“It’s hard enough for me to make decisions, let alone let someone else do it for me, Camz. How am I going to let a stranger make choices for me when I can’t even do it?”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Camila replied. “Now, hear me out on this, okay?”

Lauren nodded warily, encouraging the younger girl to continue.

“Okay, so, before I came home today, I had a conversation with my caretakers. As my adult self.”

\---------

_ “You guys want me to ask Lauren if she wants you to be her caretakers?” Camila questioned skeptically as she looked at the three older women. _

_ They had just gotten done explaining what the girl had revealed to Dinah the night before, and how Camila could give Lauren the offer to meet with them like she had. _

_ “No, we’re offering the chance for to meet us, like you did,” Ally clarified. “No decisions would be made about anything.” _

_ “I don’t know, Lauren is, she’s not exactly comfortable meeting new people,” the brunette mumbled. “Especially by herself.” _

_ “She wouldn’t have to be alone,” Normani reasoned. “You could come with her. And, if it makes her feel more comfortable, she could meet with us one at a time.” _

_ Camila sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I just, I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel pressured into anything.” _

_ “Which is why we’re giving her the choice to meet with us,” Dinah explained. “Camila, you said Lauren was scared and overwhelmed because she’s afraid of losing the ability to make choices for herself. We’re doing this to show her that everything decision made about this situation is made by her, no one else,” she stated. “She can meet with us, or she doesn’t have to, it’s up to her. And if she does, she can meet us all at once or one at a time. She gets to chose the where, when, and how, if she wants to.” _

_ “And it’s just meeting you guys?” Camila checked. “No final decisions are being made?” _

_ “Nothing is being decided,” the older blonde confirmed. “We don’t even have to say anything about her test. We can just say that we want to finally meet your roommate, but she doesn’t have to if she wants.” _

_ The younger girl shook her head. “No, if Lauren’s going to meet you, she’s going to know why. She wouldn’t want to be lied to,” she replied. “I’ll talk to her. But I can’t promise she’ll agree.” _

_ Normani sent her a small smile. “And that’s okay. Anything that happens is up to her.” _

\---------

“They want to meet me?” Lauren whispered. “Why?”

“Because, I apparently told them about you while I was little,” Camila answered.

The older girl looked at her fearfully. “You didn’t tell them about my dad, did you?” she asked.

“No, never,” the younger girl assured, wrapping the taller girl in a hug. “That’s not for me to tell. Even little Camila knows that,” she promised, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple.

“And they just want to get to know me?”

“Yeah. They’ve never met you before, and they want to get to know the person I live with when I’m not little. They’ll probably ask about your test and all, but they don’t expect you to make any decisions. And, you don’t have to meet with them if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t?” the black haired girl asked, pulling back from the younger girl’s embrace.

Camila shook her head. “No. They want you to make the choice. If you don’t want to meet with them, I’ll tell them that and they’ll back off. They won’t be mad,” she assured.

Lauren sat back, thinking everything over. Her friend never complained about the women (except that they limited her pizza consumption, which was probably for the best anyway), so clearly they were nice. And they were giving  _ Lauren _ the choice to meet with them; they weren’t forcing her to, which she really liked. Plus, nothing was being decided. It was just a meeting to get to know them.

Finally, she nodded to herself. “Okay. I want to meet them,” she stated determinedly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not well proofread. Any mistakes are mine.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Camila questioned as she and Lauren gathered their bags.

They were getting ready to head to the park that was a few blocks away to meet with Dinah, Normani, and Ally. Lauren had decided she wanted to meet them, but she wanted to do it somewhere semi-public and so that she could run away easily if she got overwhelmed (she hoped to be more polite about telling them she was leaving, but she knew she would probably just bolt). They still had a bit of time before the meeting, but the older girl wanted to get there first, so she had more time to prepare herself.

“Yes,” she replied, shrugging on her sweater. “Well, no, I’m not sure. But, um, I’d feel bad about backing out-”

“They’d understand,” Camila cut her off. “They aren’t forcing you to do this. If you want to call it off, just say so.”

“No, I want to meet them,” the older girl stated, shaking her head. “If only because I want to know who takes care of you when you’re little. I need to make sure they are taking care of you or else we’re going to have a problem,” she explained, trying (and failing) to sound intimidating.

Camila stifled a laugh. “It’s cute that you think you’re intimidating,” she teased, causing Lauren to pout like a kicked puppy. “But Lo, don’t worry, they’re the best,” she promised, kissing the green eyed girl’s cheek. “I appreciate the concern, but they’re amazing. I couldn’t ask for better caretakers in the entire world.”

“I think that’s a bit drastic,” Lauren mumbled, sighing. “But okay, as long as you’re happy and taken care of.”

“I am.” The brunette grinned. “I am. Now come on.” She grabbed the older girl’s hand. “Let’s get going. You wanted to be there a bit early, so we need to start walking.”

\---------

The two were sat a picnic table away from the busier sections of the park. Camila was sat calmly scrolling through her phone, while Lauren was looking down at her lap, anxiously twiddling her fingers and biting her lip.

What if they didn’t like her? What if they didn’t like that she couldn’t be little? What if they wanted to take Camila away from her? She didn’t think she could survive not having her Camz at the apartment. She shook her head of those thoughts. Of course they wouldn’t take Camila away from her. The younger girl was an adult, they couldn’t force her to live with them 24/7. Plus, Camila needed a place of her own for when she wasn’t little, they couldn’t take that away from her.

Lauren relaxed slightly as her thoughts settled. Everything would be just fine. Nothing was being decided today anyway. It was just a meeting to introduce herself and get to know the older women. 

Camila looked up when a text alert sounded from her phone. “Alright, they’re at the front entrance,” she said. “I’m going to go greet them and bring them over. Will you be okay? Are you sure you still want to do this?” she checked one last time. “Because it’s not too late to back out.”

The older girl shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Go get them.”

The younger girl gave a reassuring smile before walking away from the table. She returned a minute later with the three women. “Lauren, these are Dinah, Normani, and Ally,” she said, pointing to each woman as she said their name. “Guys, this is Lauren, my best friend and roommate.”

Dinah gave a small, knowing smirk before masking it and sending the black haired girl a soft smile. “Hi, Lauren, it’s nice to meet you,” she greeted, holding her hand out.

Lauren stood up hesitantly, walking over to take the blonde’s hand. “Hi, um, Camila hasn’t, uh, told me much about you, but she said you were, um really, n-nice,” she stuttered nervously, looking at the ground. 

The taller woman gasped over dramatically. “I’m offended you don’t talk about us, Camila.”

The black haired girl’s eyes widened in fear. “No, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get her in trouble! She just, she just doesn’t-”

“Lauren, it’s okay,” Dinah interjected, cutting her off. “It’s okay, I was only kidding. She’s not in trouble. Everything’s fine,” she assured.

Lauren inhaled deeply, letting out a slow breath. “Okay.” She nodded. “Okay. Everything’s fine,” she echoed, moving to sit at the table once again.

Camila took the spot next to her, wrapping her arms around the older girl and whispering soft encouragements in her ear.

The three women shared a concerned look. They were starting to see why Lauren was designated as a little, and they really hoped the girl would let them help her. It would take a lot of patience and time, but they were willing to give it.

Ally took the seat across from the two girls. “Lauren, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?” she suggested.

The girl looked up hesitantly, making eye contact with the older woman before looking down again. “Like what?” she asked quietly.

“Well, what do you do for work?” the shorter blonde inquired. “We know Camila works at the pet store on the weekends. What do you do?”

“I, uh, I work at the library,” the raven-haired girl answered. “I like it, because I get to read when I’m not restocking shelves or checking books back in,” she explained, her eyes getting a little brighter as she spoke. “And, I get to check out as many books as I want.”

“So you like to read then?” Normani asked as she and Dinah finally decided to sit on either side of Ally.

Lauren nodded enthusiastically. “I love reading,” she answered. “I just finished The Book Thief the other day, but my favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Ally smiled. “That’s my favorite, too,” she replied. “Dinah doesn’t like to read all that much,” she added, sending the younger woman an amused look.

The taller blonde shrugged. “I’d rather watch a movie based on a book than read the book. It takes more effort to read.”

“That’s dumb, the movie adaptations don’t do the books justice,” Lauren interjected. Panic took over face when she realized what she said. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean it,” she apologized profusely, sending the woman a pleading look.

“Lauren, it’s alright,” Normani assured. “Dinah’s just too lazy to actually read books.”

The younger woman went to argue, but stopped. “No, okay, that’s actually fair.”

Lauren sighed in relief that they weren’t mad at her. “Um, what do you guys do for work?” she asked shyly, trying to change the subject.

Ally smiled warmly, accepting the change in topic. “I’m a pediatric nurse. I work with both kids and kids at heart,” she answered, and Lauren blushed, knowing what she was referring to.

“DJ and I run our own dance studio,” Normani added.

“Yeah, my dad wasn’t very happy I didn’t go into business like him,” the taller blonde laughed. “I guess I just didn’t get the Hansen gene for business,” she joked.

“Hansen?” Lauren questioned quietly. “Like, like Hansen Enterprises?”

“Yeah, it’s my dad’s company,” Dinah answered. She took a second to really look over the girl, before her eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, you’re Lauren Jauregui, aren’t you?” 

The green eyed girl looked away, but nodded.

“You’re the girl who shoved Brad into the table at the dinner a few years ago,” the blonde continued.

Lauren flinched slightly at the memory. “Yes,” she whispered.

“I was ready to kick that kid’s ass,” Dinah muttered. “The only reason I didn’t was because Ally physically held me back from doing so.”

“Which I’m still surprised about considering how short she is,” Normani interjected, earning an eye roll from the older blonde.

“Y-you wanted to beat him up?” Lauren asked, looking at the taller blonde in awe. “Why?”

“Because he was such a dick,” Dinah replied. “And I heard what he was trying to get you to do, and that you clearly didn’t want to. Which I don’t blame you, considering you were what? Fifteen, sixteen at the time? I tried to check on you after you shoved him into the table, but I couldn’t find you for the rest of the dinner.”

Lauren shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “I don’t- I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled.

Camila pulled the girl into her arms. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” she assured. “Lauren it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

The three women looked at each other. Obviously there was more going on than they realized. They wouldn’t pressure the girl into talking about it, though.

“If it makes you feel any better, I still kicked Brad’s ass a few days later,” Dinah said.

Lauren sniffled, looking up. “Really?” She wiped away stray tears.

“Yeah. I don’t care what Ally said, the guy was a dick and he deserved it.”

“Yes, but you didn’t need to be arrested at a dinner like that,” the older blonde retorted.

Dinah shrugged. “He learned his lesson. I doubt he’ll talk to another girl like that again.”

Lauren looked past the women, seeing the ice cream vendor walking through the park. She reached into her pocket, then checked her bag. “Aww, no,” she whispered, not seeing her wallet. She looked back at the vendor sadly. “Ice ‘weam,” she mumbled.

Ally, seeing the change in the girl’s demeanor, turned to look behind her. “I’m in the mood for ice cream, anyone else want anything?” she asked the group.

“I’m okay,” Normani replied.

Dinah shook her head. “No thanks, short stack.”

Ally rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t get any anyways for that,” she remarked. “Camila? Lauren?” she questioned, looking at the girls.

“No thanks, Ally,” the brunette replied.

“Wow, Camila turning down ice cream, that’s a shocker,” Dinah teased.

Camila stuck her tongue out. 

“Um, yes, please,” Lauren answered shyly.

The shorter blonde smiled. “Alright, come on. My treat.”

“A-are you sure?” the black haired girl asked.

“Yep, come on,” Ally responded, standing up from the table.

The two walked over to the vendor, and Ally paid for her chocolate cone and Lauren’s vanilla one.

“So, Camila mentioned you weren’t very happy with your test,” the older woman said casually.

Lauren blushed, looking at the floor. “I do-don’t know how to be a, be a little,” she mumbled.

Ally sent the girl a soft smile. “That’s okay, you know that, right?” she questioned. “You don’t have to know how to be little right away.”

Lauren sighed, kicking at the ground. “Camila keeps telling me that,” she replied. “But, I’m just afraid that people are going to be upset that I’m not little, you know? But, I can’t be, because I don’t know what to do.”

The blonde hummed in thought. “You know, I was terrified when I got caretaker as my result,” she stated.

“Really?” Lauren looked up, shocked.

“Uh uh. I’ve always been really small. Everyone would always treat as a kid because of it, even when I was in high school. When I took my test, I thought I was going to get little as my designation, so I wasn’t prepared to get caretaker instead,” the shorter woman explained. “I was scared I would do a terrible job, but Dinah and Normani assured me it’d be okay. It just takes time. No one is expecting you to be little right away, Lauren. And anyone who does isn’t a very good caregiver,” she finished, smiling at the girl.

“Would it-” Lauren stopped to think. “Would it be, um, easier to learn to be a little with a caretaker?” she asked timidly.

“I’m sure if you found the right one, it could be,” Ally replied, shrugging. “I can’t say for certain, but if it would make you more comfortable, than it probably could.”

Lauren mulled over her thoughts in silence. She looked around the park, spotting a girl, around the age of five or six she’d guess, being pushed on the swings by her mom. “I didn’t get to do that as a kid,” she mumbled wistfully.

Ally looked to where the girl was watching the mom and daughter on the swings. “Did you not get to go to the park as a kid?” she inquired gently.

The green eyed girl shook her head. “My mom, she uh, she died in a car accident when I was really young,” she answered quietly, looking back at the ground. “And, my dad, he cared more about his company than he did me, so,” she trailed off, shrugging.

“I’m sorry, Lauren,” Ally replied sincerely. She started to reach out to lay a hand on the girl’s shoulder, but stopped, not sure how the girl would react to that. 

“Um do you think,” Lauren trailed off again, shaking her head. “Nevermind, it’s dumb,” she muttered.

“No, I bet it’s not. What were you going to ask?”

The younger girl rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “Do you think, maybe, I could, like, see what it’s like when Camila stays over with you guys?” she asked hesitantly. She shook her head. “No, nevermind, it’s dumb. Forget I asked.”

“Lauren, no, it’s not dumb,” the blonde assured her. “Why don’t we go talk to the others, and see if they’d be okay with it?” she suggested.

“Okay,” Lauren agreed, letting out a shaky breath. She followed the older woman back to the table.

“Hey, have a nice talk?” Normani asked as they sat back at the table.

Ally smiled, looking at the younger girl. “Yep. So, Lauren was wondering if it’d be okay for her to see what it’s like when Camila is over at the house,” she explained, sending the green eyed girl a reassuring look. “What do you guys think?”

Camila turned to the older girl. “Is that what you want?” she questioned. “You’ve seen me in my headspace, Lo. You kind of know what it’s like already,” she pointed.

Lauren shook her head. “Not from an outside viewpoint though,” she argued quietly. “I was helping you out then, so I don’t really know what’s like. And, besides, that was when we were first starting out, remember? You wouldn’t even let me go with to get stuff from the little store you go to. You made me wait at the front of the store when we went.”

“Wait, that was you?” Normani interjected. “You were with Camila that day?”

Lauren nodded, looking at the dark skinned woman warily. “Yeah, how’d you know that?”

“Because, Camila had slipped into her headspace when I met her, and I wanted to make sure she made it out of the store okay,” the older woman explained. “And she mentioned having a friend at the front waiting for her, and I saw her meet up with you when she was finished.”

Lauren sent the younger girl a glare. “You never told me you slipped into headspace in the store.”

Camila smiled sheepishly. “It was for like five minutes, I was fine,” she replied. 

Ally rolled her eyes. “Okay, but that’s still not very safe. You could have at least let Lauren go with you in the first place.”

“Wait, no, nuh uh, this is not ‘gang up on Camila’ time,” the brunette huffed. 

Dinah chuckled, shaking her head at the girl. “Whatever you say,” she relented. She looked over to Lauren. “If you want to see what it’s like when Camila’s over, you can come with her anytime you want,” she said. “And if you decide you don’t want to, that’s alright, too. Whatever makes you comfortable, sweetheart.”

Lauren felt a rush of warmth spread in her chest at the term. She pushed it to the back of her mind. “Okay, thank you,” she replied shyly, nodding. She looked at the women before turning to Camila. “Is it, is it okay if we go now?” she asked nervously, not wanting to upset the women.

“It’s perfectly fine, Lauren,” Normani assured. “Thank you for agreeing to meet us. I hope this one,” she pointed to Dinah, “didn’t scare you too much.”

The younger blonde glared at her. “Excuse you, if anything Ally is the one who would, they were away from us for like ten minutes having a private conversation,” she argued.

“Um, it was, it was nice meeting you too,” Lauren interjected timidly. “No one, no one scared me, though,” she added confusedly.

“Ignore them, Lauren,” Ally said. “It was great meeting you. If you still want to come over, you can at anytime. Just tell Camila so we can have heads up, alright?”

The black haired nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell her,” she promised. “Thank you for the ice cream,” she added, sending the older blonde a shy smile. “And thank you for looking after Camila. I can see why she likes you guys so much.”

“She better like us, she eats all of our food,” Dinah teased. 

“Except pizza apparently,” Lauren joked. “She’s upset you don’t let her have more than two pieces. But that’s probably for the best.”

“Hey! Whose side are you on?” Camila cried as the three women chuckled. “Come on, let’s go. We’re leaving before you guys can joke at my expense any further,” she grumbled, taking the older girl’s hand. “We’ll see you guys later.”

Lauren turned back, shyly waving at the three as she was dragged away.

When the two disappeared out of sight, Ally looked at her girlfriends. “We have to tread extremely carefully if this goes anywhere,” she warned seriously. “There’s a lot more going on than we thought. This will take a lot of time and patience. And we have to make sure Lauren knows that she has a choice in all of this.”

Normani nodded. “Time and patience. We can give her that.”

“We’ll give her anything she needs,” Dinah agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proofread. Mistakes are mine.

Lauren knocked on the front door, anxiously shifting on her feet, looking at the ground. Maybe she should have waited until she had a day off to do this. At least then she would have come with Camila, instead of showing up later. No one had answered the door yet, maybe she could just leave and come back another time.

As she was about to do just that, the door opened to reveal Normani. “Hi, Lauren,” she greeted with a warm smile.

“Um, hi,” the younger girl replied. “I’m, I’m so-sorry I didn’t come with Camila,” she mumbled. “I had the morning at th-the library today.”

“That’s alright. It’s probably better this way, anyways,” the older woman responded. She opened the door a bit further, stepping to the side. “Do you want to come in?”

Lauren rubbed the back of her neck, shifting nervously. “I, um, I was about to turn around and leave,” she admitted quietly. 

“If you don’t want to do this today, you don’t have to. We’re taking this at your pace, Lauren.”

The girl huffed out a breath, thinking it over. There wasn’t any harm in just seeing what being a little is like, right? They weren’t actually making any decisions.

Finally, she nodded. “Okay, may I come in?” she asked, finally looking up.

Normani grinned, stepping aside. “Of course.” She shut the door as Lauren entered. “Since you’re coming straight from the library, have you eaten lunch yet?” 

The black haired girl looked away sheepishly, her stomach rumbling loudly. “Um, I might not have eaten much today,” she confessed, not making eye contact with the older woman. “I was just, uh, really nervous about today, and I-I didn’t eat. It happens a lot, it’s nothing to worry about.”

The dark skinned woman frowned. “That’s not a very good habit, Lauren,” she scolded softly. 

Lauren felt an odd sense of warmth rush through her at the reprimand. Her stomach growled once more, and she blushed. “I’m sorry. I guess I am kind of hungry.”

Normani chuckled, shaking her head. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” She started to lead the girl into the kitchen.

The green eyed girl shook her head. “You don’t have to,” she protested. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

The older woman stopped, and turned to face the girl. “Lauren, it’s okay,” she assured, tilting the girl’s head so they were looking eye to eye. “You aren’t a bother. There’s plenty of food. With Dinah and Camila’s appetites, we keep the house pretty well stocked.” She motioned for the smaller girl to take a seat at the counter.

“Hey! How dare you?” Dinah grumbled as she entered the kitchen. “How are you, Lauren?” she asked, turning to the younger girl.

Lauren made eye contact with the woman for a second before looking down. “I’m good, how are you?”

“Happy to see you again,” the blonde answered, smiling. “Is Mani making you something to eat?”

The girl nodded, looking down. “I, uh, haven’t really eaten today,” she replied quietly.

Dinah frowned, but nodded. “I see. And you know that’s not good for you, right?”

“Yes, Normani already told me.”

“Okay, good. As long as you know that,” Dinah replied. “And I would advise not letting Ally find out. She would not be very pleased,” she added off-handedly.

Lauren nodded, looking down. Maybe she should take better care to make sure she ate. She didn’t want to disappoint the shorter woman, though she couldn’t explain why she felt that way.

Normani set a plate with a sandwich and chips in front of the girl. “There you go. Do you want anything to drink?”

“Thank you,” Lauren said appreciatively. “Um, just w-water is fine.”

“Are you sure?” Dinah asked. “We have soda or juice. But if you want water, that’s fine,” she assured.

The girl frowned, thinking over her options. Juice sounded really good, but also more childish, which is exactly the opposite of what she was trying to prove. But she didn’t really want water either. “Um, okay. Soda, please,” she requested quietly, deciding on a more grown up drink.

Normani got the requested drink, and soon after Lauren started eating, Ally walked into the kitchen.

“Hi, Lauren,” she greeted cheerily.

“Hi,” the girl replied shyly. “Where’s Camila?”

“Napping. That’s why it took a bit for me to get to the door,” Normani answered. “We were trying to get her down for a nap.”

“Which she finally fell asleep,” the shorter blonde said gratefully, taking the seat next to Lauren, but still giving her some space. 

“So, Camila is already in headspace?” Lauren asked, looking between the three women.

Dinah nodded. “Yeah, if she’s not already in headspace by the time she gets here, it doesn’t take long for her to slip.”

“And it’s probably best you didn’t come with her this morning,” Ally added. Taking in Lauren’s confused expression, she continued, “Camila is hyperactive when she’s little, even more so than her adult self. Little Camila can be overwhelming, and we didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, so it’s better that you came over later.”

“Oh, that must have changed. Because she wasn’t like that before,” Lauren mumbled, mostly to herself.

“She has less limitations here,” Dinah replied. “Here she can be as little as she wants, and no one will yell at her for being hyperactive, unless she’s getting into trouble. With you, it was more in secret that she was little, right?” 

The black haired girl nodded. “Yeah, okay, I get it.” She sat quietly and finished her plate. 

Ally took the plate to the sink, rinsing it off before placing it in the dishwasher. “So, have you looked into finding a caretaker? Is that something you want?” she asked the younger girl gently, retaking her seat.

“The only thing I’ve done is confirm the results. I don’t know what I want.” Lauren frowned. “Well, no, I just want to be left alone. I can take care of myself.”

“Well, yeah, but it would be nice to not have to all the time, right?” Dinah reasoned, amused at the girl’s pout.

The girl scowled. “Maybe. But I’m not a baby!” she whined, fiddling with her glass.

“No one said you were, sweetheart,” Normani appeased (and there was that feeling of warmth in Lauren’s chest again). “No one said that. We’re just saying sometimes it might feel good to let someone else take care of you.”

Lauren pouted. “But I like taking care of myself. And I can do it on my own.” She frowned. “Okay, Camz made me finally go take the test but that was because I didn’t want to and would wait until the last second, and she didn’t want that,” she added, shifting in her seat.

Ally and Normani smirked, looking pointedly at Dinah.

“I took the damn test eventually!” the taller blonde cried, glaring at the two. “Fuck, just let me live, I took the stupid test!” she complained.

“Mama sayed ‘ad ‘ord,” Camila mumbled as she stood in the entryway, blearily rubbing her eye.

“That she did,” Normani agreed, walking over to pick the girl up. “But what are you doing up, baby? You’re supposed to be napping.”

“No more s’eepy, mommy,” the brunette answered, leaning her head in the crook of the older woman’s neck. 

“Hmm, well then, let’s go get you changed,” Normani stated as she walked out of the kitchen.

Ally turned to Dinah, smacking the back of her head.

“Ow! What the- Ally!” 

“You know better than to swear when Mila’s here,” the oldest woman reprimanded.

Lauren watched with thinly veiled fascination. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to have a caretaker, if they were like these three women. She shook her head. No, she didn’t need a caretaker. Nope, no way.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “I know, I’m sorry,” she relented. She turned to Lauren. “You’re not the only person who didn’t want to take the test.”

“Yeah, except she didn’t wait until two days before her nineteenth birthday to take the test.”

“I already said I was stupid for doing that! What more do you want from me?” 

Lauren had to stifle her laughter at the two.

Dinah looked over, and noticed the girl struggling to contain her laughter. “What? You think that’s funny?” she asked jokingly.

The younger girl tensed, looking at the taller blonde panickedly. “No, no, I-I didn’t mean-”

“Lauren, calm down. It’s alright, you’re alright, sweetheart,” Dinah assured. “I’m not upset, I promise.”

Lauren took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, okay,” she whispered to herself, nodding. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

The two women shared a look of concern. They would have to work on making sure the girl knew when they were joking if continued to come around.

“I think Normani’s going to be bringing Camila down soon,” Ally said to change the subject. “Do you want to go to the living room and watch a movie, Lauren?” 

The younger took a few reassuring breaths, before nodding, looking up at the two women. “Okay.” She got off the stool and followed the two to the living room ,just as Normani and Camila came back down.

“Lolo!” the smaller girl exclaimed excitedly, rushing to hug the older girl.

“Uh, hi, Camz,” Lauren replied, awkwardly returning the hug. It had been awhile since she’d been around the girl in headspace, let alone the girl being this young in headspace.

“Mila, remember what we talked about?” Ally questioned as she sat on the couch, pulling the girl down next to her. “We don’t want to overwhelm Lauren, okay?”

Camila nodded furiously. “‘kay, momma. ‘Orry, Lolo.”

“It’s alright, Camzi,” the older girl assured, sitting next to the younger one. 

Normani set up the DVD player, and soon the group was contently watching Kung Fu Panda. 

Lauren hated to admit it, but sitting there with the three women and Camila and just watching a movie, not having to worry about anything, was kind of nice. She still didn’t think she needed to be taken care of, but if this was what Camila did most of the time she understood why she liked it.

“Lolo! ‘Ome ‘olor wif me!” Camila pleaded when the movie was over. 

“Um, okay,” the older girl hesitantly agreed. 

Camila grinned, taking Lauren’s hand and dragging her down the hallway, running into one of the rooms. The older girl froze upon entering, taking in the room. 

The walls were a soft gray color, and white carpet lined the floor. There were cubbies containing all kinds of toys along both walls, and another shelf with all kinds of art supplies along one.There was a couch along the back wall, and across from that in the middle of one wall was a tv, a shelf with movies and a DVD player below it. In the middle of the room stood a colorful table with chairs around it, where Lauren assumed they would be coloring.

“Holy shit, Camila,” she breathed, still looking around room.

“Lolo sayed a ‘ad ‘ord.”

The older girl shook her head, smiling apologetically. “You’re right, I did. Sorry, I just didn’t expect them to go all out like this.”

“Camila, you can’t just run off like that,” Dinah scolded as she entered the room. “What are the rules about the playroom?”

“Hafta ask first,” the brunette replied, looking at the blonde sheepishly. “I sorry, mama.”

“You’re forgiven, baby. I’m sure you were excited to show Lauren, huh?” Camila nodded. “Next time though, you’ll be in timeout, understand?”

“‘Es, mama.”

“Did you guys do all this for Camila?” Lauren asked quietly.

The blonde faced the black haired girl. “Well, we had it planned before Normani and Camila met. But, Camila helped pick out the design,” she explained.

Lauren looked around in stunned silence. They were willing to do all this for her friend? Maybe it would be okay to have a caregiver? She shook her head slightly. No, she would not give in to her thoughts.

“Lolo! ‘Ome ‘olor!” Camila called, breaking the older girl of her thoughts.

Dinah watched as the girl went to sit next to the younger one at the coloring table and smiled to herself. She had seen the how the girl looked around in fascination. Whether Lauren wanted to admit it or not, there was a little side in herself. They would just continue to give the girl the time she needed to adjust.

“Mama! I drawded a puppy!”

The blonde walked over to the two girls, and laughed at the younger one’s paper. Her puppy was more like two sticks, connected at an angle, with a circle for a head and four little lines for legs.

“Amazing, baby. Want to put up on the board?” 

There was a whiteboard along the wall closest to the door, and when Camila nodded, the blonde took the paper and put it on the board, using a magnet to keep it up.

“‘Anks, mama!” Camila cheered, kissing the taller woman’s cheek.

Dinah turned back to Lauren. “What did you draw, sweetheart?”

The green eyed girl blushed at the term. “Y-you really want to see it?” she asked shyly.

“Yeah, of course,” the blonde replied, smiling.

Lauren turned her paper around, revealing a drawing of a girl on a swing.

“That’s pretty good, Lauren,” Dinah praised, amazed by the drawing. While the drawing still looked a child had drawn it, it was still better than Camila’s puppy (not that the woman would ever say Camila’s drawing was bad; the girl was around four in her headspace, she wouldn’t have the best artistic ability). “Would it be okay if I put it up on the board like Camila’s?”

Lauren looked up in shock. “You want to?”

“Yeah, this is great, and deserves to be seen.” Dinah slid the paper back to the girl. “Sign it, so we’ll know it’s yours. Then we’ll put on the board.”

Lauren nodded, and excitedly scribbled her name on the paper. She handed the paper to Dinah, who hung it up next to Camila’s.

The older frowned, feeling a sudden pressure in her bladder. “Um, Dinah, wh-where is the ba-bathroom?” she asked shyly, embarrassed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Lauren,” the blonde replied, realizing they never showed her where the bathroom was because Camila didn’t ever really need to use. “Across the hall, two doors to the left.”

Lauren nodded in thanks, and ran out of the room, just making it to the restroom in time to avoid making a mess. She’d have to pay more close attention in the future so she didn’t have an accident.

She knew Camila was comfortable wearing pull ups when she was little, but Lauren didn’t know if she could do that. Would a caregiver force her to wear them right away? Or worse, would they make her wear a diaper? It was one thing to wear a pull up, because they were more discreet and more for littles who had better control over their bladders. But a diaper would be really embarrassing. The girl decided that if she did find a caretaker, she would pay closer attention so she didn’t have to wear either.

As Lauren walked out of the bathroom, she saw Ally, Dinah, and Camila coming out of the play room.

The older blonde smiled at the girl. “Are you staying for dinner, Lauren?” 

The black haired girl blinked. “Am I allowed to?” 

“Of course you are,” Ally assured, nodding. “We were just deciding what to have tonight.”

“‘Izza!” 

“We just had that a few nights ago, Mila,” Dinah reasoned, playfully rolling her eyes. 

The brunette pouted.

“I don’t think you’re love for pizza is healthy, Camz.”

Camila stuck her tongue out at the older girl. “Lolo a meanie.”

The two women watched in amusement as the girls walked ahead. 

“I think Camila is going to be a big part of Lauren adjusting to all of this,” Ally mused.

“Like you said before, we just have to give her time and be patient,” Dinah replied. “But, I think this was good. Lauren got to see a little bit of what being little is like. I just hope she wasn’t too overwhelmed, and wants to come over again.”

The older woman hummed in agreement. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Camila, we’re not getting pizza,” they heard Normani sigh exasperatedly.

“Camila, we’re not getting pizza, and that’s final,” Ally stated sternly as they entered the living room.

The brunette pouted, flopping onto the couch.

Eventually, they settled on Chinese food, and once it had arrived, they ate in comfortable silence. By the end of the meal, however, Camila was a mess and in need of a bath.

“Alright, I’m going to give the little one a bath,” Dinah announced, getting up and picking the youngest girl up. “I hope you had a little fun today, Lauren, and I hope you’ll come over again soon..”

“Bye, Lolo!” Camila called, waving as Dinah carried her off to the bathroom.

Ally and Normani walked the older girl to the door. 

“Do you need a ride home, Lauren?” the older woman asked.

The black haired girl shook her head, seeing there was still light outside. “No, thank you,” she answered quietly. She fidgeted anxiously, before looking up at the two. “W-would it be okay if, uh, if I came over again?”

Ally smiled warmly. “You are welcome over anytime, Lauren,” she assured. 

“I’m really glad you decided to stay earlier,” Normani said. 

Lauren sent them a shy smile then looked at the floor. “Me, too.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussions of abuse.
> 
> Not proofread. Mistakes are mine.

“Hi, Lauren,” Dinah greeted as she opened the door. “Come inside before the rain hits.”  She moved aside, letting the girl into the house. “How are you today?”

“Good,” Lauren replied quietly as she walked into the house. “How are you?”

The blonde smiled, taking Lauren’s backpack. “I’m good. Ally won’t be home until late tonight, just so you know,” she said as they walked toward the kitchen. 

“Is she working?” Lauren asked.

“Yeah, her shifts are Thursday through Sunday,” Dinah answered, leading the girl to the kitchen table.

“Oh, I could have waited until she had a day off,” the girl replied quietly, taking a seat at the table.

“No, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it,” the blonde assured. “She’ll be home later tonight, and you’ll get to see her tomorrow.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure.”

Dinah smiled reassuringly. “Yes, we’re sure. We wouldn’t have invited you to stay the night if we weren’t.”

Lauren nodded, then took a seat at the table as Dinah made lunch. 

When Dinah had the mac and cheese finished, she called for Normani and Camila.

“Lolo!” the girl exclaimed as she ran into the kitchen. She tackled the older girl into a hug, which was a little awkward because the girl was sitting.

“Umm, hi, Camz,” Lauren greeted. “As much as I love hugging you, can you let go? This is really uncomfortable.”

Instead of letting go, the younger girl plopped herself down in the older girl’s lap. “No go,” she mumbled.

“But I’m not going anywhere?” Lauren replied questioningly. 

When a loud crack of thunder sounded, Lauren flinched slightly.

Dinah, who had been watching the two girls closely, noticed. “I think Lauren is afraid of storms,” she murmured to Normani.

The older woman looked at the two girls. “I think we should let her come to us if that’s true,” she replied quietly, finishing dishing out bowls of pasta before walking over to the girls.

Dinah frowned. “Okay, but what if she doesn’t?” she asked when her girlfriend returned.

Normani shrugged, grabbing her own food and walking over to the table.

“Mommy, ‘uice, ‘ease?” Camila requested.

“Sure, sweetie.” Normani walked over to fridge, grabbing the juice and filling a sippy cup.

“Lauren, do you want anything?” Dinah asked, frowning when Normani sat back down after handing Camila her cup.

“No, I’m okay, thank you,” Lauren answered quietly.

After lunch, Normani took Camila upstairs for a nap, leaving Dinah and Lauren alone.

“Is, is Normani okay?” the green eyed girl questioned timidly, looking at the floor.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?”

“I just, I just feel like she’s avoiding me,” Lauren answered nervously, letting the woman pull her onto the couch. “Do-does she not like me?”

Dinah shook her head furiously. “No, Lauren, she likes you, don’t worry about that, okay?” she promised. “Can I hug you?” she asked. At Lauren’s nod, she wrapped the girl into her arms. 

Lauren tensed at first, but relaxed after a minute.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s up with Normani today, but she likes you, I promise,” the blonde stated. She looked down at the girl, seeing her struggling to keep her eyes open. “Why don’t you take a nap, huh?” she suggested.

Lauren shook her head. “No, ‘on’t want ‘oo,” she mumbled, letting out a yawn.

Dinah chuckled. “You don’t have to sleep as long as Mila,” she said, standing up.

The younger girl whined at the movement. She curled up on the couch, letting the blonde set a blanket on top of her. Soon enough, she was fast asleep.

Dinah smiled to herself. “You’re too cute, Lauren,” she whispered, laughing quietly. She sighed, deciding now would be the best time to talk to Normani.

She walked upstairs, seeing the older woman walking out of the younger girl’s room. She grabbed Normani’s arm, pulling her into their bedroom.

“Ow, Dinah, what the fuck?” 

“What is your problem today?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

“Well, obviously you do. Lauren thinks you don’t like her.”

Normani looked crestfallen. She ran a hand through her hair, sighing. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Dinah questioned, leading the older woman to sit on the bed.

“I don’t want to screw this up,” Normani replied, looking at the floor. “Lauren obviously has issues with being a little, so we have to tread carefully. I don’t want to do something to fuck this up, because she so clearly needs help,” she explained quietly, looking up at the blonde. 

Dinah sighed, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “You’re not going to fuck anything up by trying, but you will if you make Lauren think you don’t like her,” she stated. She laughed, leaning back on the bed, dragging Normani with her. “You and Ally are so alike, you know that? Ally was afraid she’d do something to mess things up with Mila in the beginning.”

“Yeah, but at least Mila wanted to be little. Lauren, she’s obviously a little, we know that,” the older woman said. “Whether she wants to admit it or not, she’s a little, and she needs help. But with whatever’s holding her back, we make one mistake, and it’s over.”

Dinah smiled, leaning into kiss her girlfriend’s lips. “Look, we take it slow, and show Lauren it’s okay to be little, we’ve already agreed to that. But you can’t ignore her, okay? You have to show her you want to be her caregiver, otherwise you do fail.”

“How are you so good at this?” Normani asked, turning to lay on top of the younger woman. “Ally and I were sure you would get little as your designation.”

The blonde laughed loudly. “Being a caregiver doesn’t mean you have to be serious all the time,” she reasoned. “You and Ally, you guys are the stern mommies, and I’m the fun one that still knows when to be serious.”

Normani rolled her eyes. “Whatever, you just don’t want to admit you’re a child.”

“That, too.” Dinah sat up, standing to walk out of the room. “Come on. I told Lauren to take a nap but that she didn’t have to sleep long. Let’s go wake her up.”

\-------

Lauren awoke to a weird sensation between her legs. Gasping, she sat up and threw the blanket off aside to see a wet spot on her jeans.

“No, no, no, no,” she whispered, angry tears forming in her eyes. She wasn’t a baby, she shouldn’t be having accidents like this. She checked the couch, making sure there wasn’t a stain before doing the same with the blanket, sighing in relief when she found none on neither. She looked around, spotting her backpack at the end of couch. Quickly, she grabbed the bag before dashing into the bathroom, changing out of her soiled underwear and pants and putting on clean ones. She dumped the plastic bag of toiletries and shoved her dirty clothes into it. She used the bathroom, washed her hands, and ran back out to the couch, setting her backpack roughly near where it was just as Dinah and Normani returned.

“Oh, hi, Lauren. We were just coming to wake you up,” the blonde stated as they both sat on either side of the girl, giving her some space.

“Hi,” the girl replied, shifting uncomfortably. She hoped the two wouldn’t notice she had changed. She didn’t want to have to explain how her bladder had turned on her. She wasn’t a baby!

“How did you sleep?” Normani asked, frowning at the rips in the girl’s jeans; those weren’t the same jeans from earlier. She decided not to comment on it.

“Good. Umm, is Camila still sleeping?”

“She is, we’ll get her up in about twenty minutes,” Dinah answered, watching the girl closely. There was something wrong, she could feel it. “Do you want to watch tv for a bit? I’m sure Camila will want to play when she gets up.”

“Okay,” the younger girl answered quietly. 

“Are you okay, Lauren?”  Normani asked.

Lauren nodded, but didn’t say anything further.

Dinah started to ask something, but cut herself off at the older woman’s head shake. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the remote off the table, handing it to the girl. “Find something to watch, sweetheart. Mani and I are going to go start dinner.”

The two adults walked into the kitchen.

“Something’s up with her,” Dinah stated as they cut up potatoes. 

“I think she may have had an accident,” Normani replied quietly. “She’s wearing different jeans than when she first got here,” she explained at the blonde’s confused look. “The one’s she has on now have little rips in them. The ones from when she got here didn’t.”

Dinah hummed, thinking quietly. “I think Lauren’s headspace is going to be younger than Mila’s,” she mused.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, Lauren’s situation is different than Camila’s,” the younger woman started. “Camila obviously likes being little, it’s a form of escape for her. Lauren, however, needs it, but is doing everything she can to prove she doesn’t. Whatever happened to her as a kid is clearly affecting her now.”

“Well, Ally did tell us Lauren said her mom died when she was little, and her dad care more about work than he did her,” Normani interjected, getting chicken out of the fridge.

“Right, so Lauren didn’t get the love and affection she needed as a kid.”

“So, where as Camila needs this for coping with stress, Lauren needs this as a way of getting what she didn’t get shown as a kid?” 

“Exactly. And because of that, I think her headspace will be younger than Mila’s. Ally thinks so, too.”

“You two talked about this?” Normani asked, putting the chicken and potatoes into the oven.

“You could have, too, if you didn’t leave the damn room every time we brought it up,” Dinah remarked. “But yes. Ally and I discussed it.”

The older woman rolled her eyes. “Come on, let’s clean up and go wake up Mila.”

\-----

Lauren yelped in surprise when a weight dropped onto her lap and arms wrapped around her waist. “Uh, hi, Camz. I thought you were asleep?” she asked, trying to calm her racing heartbeat.

“No more s’eepy, rain waked me up,” the younger girl mumbled, nuzzling into Lauren’s neck.

“What are you doing up, baby?” Dinah asked as the two women walked back into the living room. 

“No s’eepy. Want Lolo cuddles.”

“Uh uh, and did you ask Lauren if she wanted cuddles?” Normani asked, seeing Lauren’s tense posture.

Camila smiled sheepishly, shaking her head. “No ‘ant?” she asked, looking up at the older girl.

“No, it’s okay,” Lauren assured, shaking her head. “You ju-just surprised me is all.”

The younger girl’s eyes widened, and she quickly moved off of the older girl’s lap. “I sorry, Lolo, not mean to scare,” she rushed out apologetically. “No like surprises.”

“Camz, you didn’t mean to, it’s okay,” the black haired girl promised, pulling the other girl into a hug. 

The two women watched with concern, not knowing what Camila meant. 

“Why don’t you two go play until dinner is done,” Dinah suggested, changing the subject. “I’ll put a movie on in the playroom, too. Come on.”

When the two girls got up, Lauren’s shirt rode up slightly. Normani noticed, and she had to hold back a gasp at the scarring that was revealed. There was a lot more going on with Lauren than they thought.

\------

Lauren laid on the floor of the playroom, watching the tv intently as The Lion King played, when something hit her foot. She looked to see what it was and found a toy fire truck. She turned toward where Camila was sitting and saw the girl looking at her expectantly. Furrowing her brow, she sent the truck back to the younger girl and turned back to the movie.

A few seconds later, the truck hit her foot again. Again, she sent it back. It her foot a few seconds later. She sent it back once more, and it hit her foot for a third time a few seconds later.

She turned to Camila, seeing the girl smiling widely at her. “P’ay cars wif me?” the younger girl asked.

Lauren nodded, sitting up and facing her friend. The two pushed the truck back and forth, before Camila had an idea. 

“We build a tower,” the girl said, running over to grab a bucket of blocks. 

She dumped them out, and the two stacked them together until they had several block towers. The younger girl grabbed the fire truck and a toy mustang, handing the car to Lauren. She moved back a few feet, beckoning Lauren over. “Push ‘ars into tower, and they fall.”

Lauren nodded, standing next to the younger girl.

“Go!” the brunette shouted, and they pushed the toys towards the blocks. The towers crashed to the floor with a loud thud, and Camila cheered.

“What are you two doing in here?” Dinah asked as entered the room. Seeing the mess, she rolled her eyes. “Alright you goofs, clean this up, it’s time for dinner.”

The younger girl clapped happily, running to grab as many block as she could to put in the bucket, Lauren following much more calmly. When they were finished putting everything away, they followed Dinah to the kitchen, getting there just as Normani was pulling food out of the oven and turning off the stove with the carrots.

“Wash your hands, please, girls,” the older woman instructed as she started plating food, making sure to cut Camila’s up into small pieces.

When everyone started eating, Lauren looked at her plate sadly. The chicken wasn’t cut up and the potatoes were too big. She didn’t know why, but it really bothered her, but she didn’t want to ask one of the women to cut it for her. 

“Lauren, did you want any carrots?” Normani asked, watching the girl. “Camila doesn’t like them very much when she’s little, so we don’t force her to eat them all the time. But I can get you some if you want?”

Lauren nodded shyly. “‘Es, p’ease.”

The two adults looked at each other in surprise, but didn’t make a big deal of the girl’s slip.

Lauren was shocked when her plate was set back in front of her and her chicken and potatoes were cut up into smaller pieces. She blushed, but didn’t ask about it, instead starting to eat.

When dinner was over and the women had cleaned up, Dinah looked at Normani. “Go help Lauren with taking a shower,” she instructed.

“What? Why?” Normani asked.

“Because, she might not know how to work the shower,” the blonde replied in an obvious tone. “Go.” She picked Camila up and took her upstairs for a bath.

The older woman rolled her eyes, but turned to Lauren. “Do you need help with the shower?”

The younger girl shook her head. “No, I can do it,” she replied quietly as she gathered her pajamas.

“Are you sure?” Normani asked, leading the girl to the bathroom.

“Yes.”

The older woman sighed, but let Lauren into the bathroom alone. She went to sit on the couch in the living room, and noticed Lauren had left her backpack open, and her soiled clothes were visible. She got up to go back to the bathroom just as loud roll of thunder sounded, and she heard a slight scream then crying from the bathroom. She rushed in to find Lauren huddled against the wall, her hands over her ears and her clothes half off.

“Oh, sweetheart, come here,” Normani said softly, pulling the girl into her arms. 

Lauren tensed at first, but turned to cry into the older woman’s chest.

“Lauren, it’s alright, the thunder can’t hurt you,” the older woman promised, running her hand along the girl’s back, her heart breaking at the marred skin. “Lauren, sweets, calm down, nothing is going to hurt you here.”

After a few minutes, the younger girl finally calmed down. She looked up at the older woman shyly. “W-will you help?” she asked hesitantly.

“Of course.” Normani nodded. She stood, pulling Lauren up with her and helped the girl out of her clothes, then went to turn on the water. 

“Do- don’t tell them, please,” Lauren begged quietly, trying to cover herself. 

The dark skinned woman sighed, turning back to the girl. “Lauren, I have to tell them,” she replied apologetically. “The three of us tell each other anything important, and this is important, Lauren.”

The younger girl shook her head frantically. “No, no, please, don’t tell them,” she pleaded.

“I won’t tell them how you got them. You haven’t told me that,” Normani responded. “But I have to tell them.” 

“You won’t tell them how?” the green eyed girl asked. “Even, even if I told you?”

Normani shook her head. “The only thing I will tell them is that you have those scars,” she stated, looking the girl in the eyes. “How you got them is your story to tell. But only if you want to. Obviously we’re going to make our own assumptions, but only you get to tell us when you’re ready.”

Lauren sniffled, nodding. She let the older woman lead her into the shower, and relaxed when the warm water hit her. After about fifteen minutes, she was finished and stepped out from the water, allowing herself to be wrapped in a towel. Normani helped her into her pajamas and then they headed to the living room.

Dinah looked up from where she was giving Camila her bottle, smiling at the two. She saw noticed Normani’s serious expression, but the older woman shook her head, so she decided to ask about it later. “You guys want to watch a movie before bed?” she asked instead.

Lauren crawled into the recliner curling up with a quilt. “Yes, please.”

“What do you guys want to watch?” Normani questioned.

“Wreck It Ralph!” Camila suggested, and Lauren nodded in agreement. 

They made it about halfway through the movie before both girls were fast asleep. The women carried them upstairs, Dinah going into Camila’s room and Normani into one of the guest rooms. Just as they arrived back downstairs, Ally walked through the door, looking exhausted.

“Hey, how’d it go?” she asked, kicking off her shoes and stretching out on the couch.

Dinah lifted the shorter woman up, slipping underneath her. “It went pretty well. Mani’s scared she’ll mess it up, but I think I talked some sense into her,” she answered. “Also, I think Lauren missed you today.”

The older blonde chuckled. “I think she just missed getting ice cream.”

The younger one hummed in agreement. “We found out Lauren’s afraid of storms, so I’m thinking we should check on her throughout the night if this storm continues.”

“Good idea,” Ally replied. “Surprised you had one.”

Dinah huffed in annoyance. “I have good ideas all the time, thank you very much,” she grumbled.

Normani rolled her eyes at the two. “Okay, let’s be serious here for a second,” she interrupted the two. “While I was helping Lauren with the shower, I had to help her get out of her clothes,” she started. “Babes, someone abused that girl in the past. Her back is littered in scars. I don’t know who did it, but I want to beat the shit out of them for what they did to her.”

Ally sighed, leaning further into Dinah’s body. “Oh god, I think I know who,” she muttered.

“What?” the younger blonde asked.

“Lauren, the day we met her, she told me after her mom died her dad cared more for his work than her,” the older woman began.

“Right, you told me that later on,” Dinah replied.

“Yeah, well, I think he also beat Lauren as a kid.”

“What makes you say that, Ally?” Normani questioned, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

“When Dinah brought up beating up Brad after that dinner, Lauren freaked out when we asked her happened to her after the dinner was over. Camila seemed to know what happened, but Lauren clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and her reaction makes it look like it wasn’t a happy memory.”

“Well, fuck,” Dinah mumbled. “Then we really do need to be careful about this.”

“Ally?” a questioning voice called from the stairs. 

The three turned to see Lauren standing at the bottom of the staircase, her hands over the middle of her pants and tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” the shorter blonde asked concernedly, sitting up.

“I-I-I wetted the bed.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are mine.

The three women shared a concerned look, before Dinah shot up off the couch, picking up the girl as she broke down into sobs, and sat on the floor.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” Lauren stuttered out. “I di-didn’t mean to.” She clutched Dinah’s shirt tightly.

The blonde rocked the younger girl back and forth. “It’s okay, Lauren,” she assured, running her hand up and down the girl’s back. “It’s alright, we’re not upset. You’re okay, sweetheart,” she soothed, continuing to rock the girl. She inspected the girl’s clothes, finding them soaked pretty well through. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Let’s get you calmed down and then cleaned up and back to bed, yeah?”

Ally brought Lauren’s backpack over, kneeling next to the two. “Lauren, did this happen earlier, too?” she questioned gently, pulling out the bag with the girls soiled clothes. 

Lauren nodded, her sobs intensifying. “I not mean to.”

“We know, it’s alright, sweets,” Normani assured. She looked at the other two, hesitant about what she was about to say. “Lauren, since you don’t have anything else that’s clean, we’re going to have to give you a pull up for the night.”

The girl shook her head furiously, giving the women a pleading. “No, no, please, I don’t want one. No, please, no,” she begged, trying to wiggle out of Dinah’s hold.

The blonde only held on tighter. “Lauren, it’s just for the rest of the night,” she reasoned, trying to stop the girl’s squirming. “Just until we get your clothes cleaned, alright? Once your clothes are clean you can take it off.”

Lauren stopped wiggling, sighing in defeat. “Okay,” she replied weakly.

Dinah stood, adjusting her hold on the younger girl. “Alright, let’s go get you cleaned up,” she said, starting to walk upstairs. 

She carried Lauren to the bathroom as Normani and Ally went to clean up the guest room, and set her on the counter. She went to help Lauren remove her shirt, but the girl wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, sweetheart, we need to get you cleaned off. It’s not very good to stay in soaked clothes.”

Lauren sniffled, still refusing to move.

“Lauren, come on. You can’t stay in those wet clothes. It won’t feel good and you’ll get all itchy and gross,” she reasoned, moving to try and take off the girl’s shirt once again. 

Lauren sighed, but let the woman help her out of her clothes.

A knock on the door sounded before Ally poked her head in. “Hey, I have a pull up-” Lauren whimpered “-and I grabbed one of your shirts for her to sleep in, if you don’t mind?” she directed the question toward the taller blonde.

“It’s fine.” Dinah shook her head. “Thanks, babe.” She turned to start the water.

“T-t’ank you, Ally,” Lauren mumbled quietly, refusing to look up.

The older woman smiled. “You’re welcome. Your clothes are in the wash right now, they’ll be dry in the morning, okay?”

Lauren nodded, then let Dinah lift her up and set her in the bathtub. She blushed, squirming as the woman washed her off. When it was done, Dinah picked her up, wrapping her in a towel, setting her back on the counter. By this point, Lauren was too tired to fight, and let herself be put in a pull up before Dinah got her into a shirt.

The blonde picked the girl up, carrying her back to the guest room, where Normani and Ally had put new sheets on. “Don’t hesitate to come get one of us if you need anything, sweetheart,” she said as she help the girl get tucked in. “We’re just down the hall, and if anything, Camila can get one of us for you if you need her to.”

Lauren nodded but remained silent, curling up into a ball. She was embarrassed. She shouldn’t have wet the bed, now the women were going to think she couldn’t sleep without having an accident. Why did her bladder have to start turning on her already? And, the blankets weren’t very soft, and she didn’t like that very much.

Dinah sighed, checking one last time that the girl was comfortable before turning off the light and exiting the room, leaving the door half open.

\---------

The next morning, the three women had woken up Camila, but decided to give Lauren a little extra time to sleep.

“Mommy, where Lolo?” the brunette asked as she ate breakfast.

“Still sleeping, baby,” Normani answered. “Lauren had a bad night and was up late, so we’re letting her sleep a little longer.”

Camila nodded, satisfied, and turned back to her cereal.

Not much longer later, Lauren hesitantly entered the kitchen. “I-I used the pull up,” she admitted quietly, looking at the floor.

Ally smiled warmly, walking over to the black haired girl. “Let’s go get you cleaned up and changed, yeah? You’re clothes are done,” she said, taking the girl’s hand and leading her back upstairs.

“Lolo wearing a pull up?” the youngest girl asked, surprised.

“Yeah, baby, just don’t mention it, okay? She’s very upset about it,” Dinah replied, taking the girl’s empty bowl.

“She not like wetting the bed, not want hurt,” Camila said.

The two women looked at each other confusedly. What did Camila mean by that?

“Mila, baby, what do you mean she doesn’t ‘want hurt’?” Normani asked carefully.

The girl looked at them with wide eyes. She didn’t mean to let that slip. “No tell, Lolo be mad.”

The women sighed, knowing they wouldn’t get anything out of the girl. 

Ally returned with Lauren following behind. The shorter woman went to get a bowl of cheerios, setting the bowl in front of the girl on the table with a glass of milk.

Dinah watched the girl, taking in her exhausted face. Clearly Lauren hadn’t sleep after they had got her back to bed last night. When she thought about it, Lauren did seem a little miserable last night when she helped the girl back to bed, but she put it up to having to wear a pull up. 

Dinah wanted to scream, the girl so obviously needed to be little, if her subconscious turning on her was any indicator. But she also knew they couldn’t just make Lauren go into headspace. That would be all kinds of fucked up, and it would destroy any trust the green eyed girl had in them.

However, that didn’t mean she couldn’t give Lauren a small little push. So with that in mind, Dinah stood up from the table, grabbing her keys. “I’ll be back in like twenty minutes,” she announced, heading to the front door.

“Where are you going?” Ally asked suspiciously. She’d seen the calculated look the younger blonde had. Dinah was planning something, and Ally worried it might set them back to square one.

The taller woman smirked mischievously, knowing the older woman would try and stop her. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll be back soon.” She ran before either of her girlfriends could stop her.

“I-is she mad?” Lauren asked timidly, not looking up from her cereal.

Normani shook her head. “No, she’s not. And neither are we, sweetheart, don’t worry about it.”

The black haired girl looked up. “Are y-you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Ally promised. “Why don’t you finish breakfast and then we’ll go watch a movie?” she suggested.

Lauren nodded, going back to her cereal. She finished her cereal, then looked at her glass of milk. She didn’t want to drink it because she didn’t know if she could hold the cup without dropping it. She knew Normani and Ally would want her to drink it, but she didn’t want to make a mess.

“Lauren, hon, can you finish your milk, please?” Ally requested as if she could read the girl’s mind.

Lauren blushed, looking down at her lap. She mumbled something that was incoherent.

“What was that?” Normani asked.

The girl’s blush deepened. “I-I do-don’t want to make a mess,” she confessed shyly.

The women looked at each other. Maybe Lauren was beginning to slip.

“Okay, do you want to use one of Mila’s sippy cups?” the older woman questioned slowly.

Lauren shook her head. “‘M not a baby,” she grumbled.

Or maybe not. It seemed for every step forward they made, they were taking three back.

Normani stood in thought for a moment, before having an idea. “Okay, what about a straw?” 

The girl looked up inquisitively.

The dark skinned woman smiled, walking over to a cabinet. She pulled out the package of bendy straws they used when Camila first started with them. She grabbed one, and put in Lauren’s glass. “There you go, sweets.”

Lauren blushed, but began drinking her milk. Soon she was finished, and Normani took her dishes, Ally leading her to the living room. They were about ten minutes into Tangled when Dinah walked through the front door.

“Hi, mama!” Camila shouted, running to hug the woman.

The blonde smiled, lifting the girl up, setting the bag in her hand down. “Hi, baby. Were you and Lauren good for mommy and momma?” she asked.

“‘Es, we good. We watchin’ Tangled now, mama.”

Dinah smiled, setting the girl on the ground, and Camila ran back to the couch. Now was the perfect time to try and give Lauren a small push. The older girl was currently sitting on the couch, looking a little dejected because Normani was sitting in the recliner.

“Mani, go sit on the couch.”

“What? Why?”

Dinah sent her a glare. “Because I said, now do it.”

The older woman rolled her eyes but went to sit on the couch, letting Camila cuddle with her.

The younger woman grabbed the bag walked over and sat down in the recliner, pulling a blanket out of the bag. It was a baby blanket specifically for littles, and it was an off-white color with a blue border and little elephants decorating it.

Ally caught sight of it, and glared and the taller blonde. “What are you doing?” she asked quietly.

Dinah smirked. “Trust me, it’s okay.”

The older blonde shook her head. “Dinah, no.”

The younger one rolled her eyes. “Just trust me,” she replied. She looked to the black haired girl. “Lauren, come here,” she requested gently.

Lauren looked up with wide eyes. “Why?” she questioned.

“Because, Camila’s cuddling with Mani, and you look like you need someone to cuddle with.”

The older girl shook her head. “Nuh uh, ‘m fine,” she declined.

Dinah smiled, holding up the blanket. “Not even if it meant you got to have this?” She motioned to the blanket.

Lauren whined slightly. That blanket looked really comfortable, and okay, maybe she did want to cuddle with someone, but she didn’t want to admit it. But Dinah kept giving her an inviting look, and that blanket looked so soft. Finally, she hesitantly stood up, walking toward the blonde. She stopped for a second, but Dinah nodded encouragingly, so she continued.

The younger blonde pulled the girl into her lap when she was in reach. She wrapped Lauren up in the blanket, letting the girl set her head on her chest before leaning the recliner back.

Lauren let out a content sigh, and soon the warm and softness of the blanket and the steady beat of Dinah’s heart beneath her ear pulled her into sleep.

The blonde looked down when felt the girl’s breathing even out, seeing her passed out. She looked up to see her girlfriend’s incredulous stares. “And that is how it’s done, babes,” she declared, sending them smug smiles.

“How did you know?” Normani asked in disbelief.

Dinah shrugged, careful not to disturb the sleeping girl. “Lauren looked miserable last night when I helped her back to bed, but I thought it was just because she was embarrassed about the pull up,” she began. “But she looked exhausted at breakfast, so I thought why not try seeing if she wanted a baby blanket since they’re a lot softer than normal blankets.”

“Mama, I get a blankie?” Camila asked hopefully.

The taller blonde smiled, nodding. “Yeah, baby, I wouldn’t forget about you.” She reached for the bag again, pulling out a yellow fleece blanket covered in little monkeys and bananas. “For you, my little monkey,” she said, handing the blanket to Ally to give to the girl.

The brunette squealed happily, causing Lauren to whine and turn further into Dinah.

“Mila, baby, you need to be quiet,” Normani said softly. “Lauren didn’t sleep much last night, so we need to let her now, okay?”

Camila nodded, rubbing the blanket over her face and cuddling into the older woman. “‘Kay. Sorry, mommy.”

“It’s alright baby, but let’s give Lauren time to nap.”

The four continued with the movie, the three adults happy to see Lauren making a small advance toward being little.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief talks of nursing. Mentions of past abuse.

Dinah didn’t expect her idea to work so well. She just thought Lauren would be more comfortable cuddling if she had a blanket; she didn’t think it would cause the girl to sleep so long. Lauren had stayed asleep for the remainder of Tangled and about halfway through Inside Out. The blonde figured the girl was a lot more exhausted than she originally thought, and was content to just sit and hold Lauren as she slept.

The girl looked so peaceful as she slept. Her face was completely relaxed, and her body wasn’t so tense like when she was awake and fighting them on everything. Dinah couldn’t blame the girl though, it was so obvious she had been abused in the past and it would take time for them to build the level of trust Lauren needed to let go and be little, but they were willing to work with her. And while Ally and Normani wanted to just let Lauren learn on her own, Dinah knew it would take a more than that. That’s why she went out and got the blanket in the first place. A slight push wouldn’t hurt, and clearly it was effective if the soft snores coming from Lauren were any indicator.

They were just at the end of the movie when Dinah felt Lauren begin to stir. The younger one had one hand holding the blanket close to her face with her fingers near her mouth, with her other hand clutching Dinah’s shirt. The blonde felt a tug on her shirt, but didn’t think much of it, putting it up to the girl moving a bit in her sleep. When the tugging continued, Dinah looked to see Lauren pulling on her shirt right where her breast was.

Dinah frowned. Did that mean something? Was Lauren aware of what she was doing? She didn’t have much more time to think before the tugging ceased, and the girl started to open her eyes, rubbing them sleepily. 

Green eyes looked up shyly, and the blonde smiled, deciding not mention anything. “Hi, sweet cheeks, have a good nap?” 

Lauren blushed, looking back down and turning to hide her face Dinah’s chest.

“Come on, Lauren, it’s almost lunch,” Dinah stated, sitting up in the recliner as the other three went to the kitchen. “I bet you’re hungry now, huh?”

The girl nodded, still not looking up. She stood to walk to the kitchen, still holding on to the blanket, when the blonde stopped her.

“Wait, let’s leave the blanket here.” Dinah stood, trying to take the item.

Lauren whined, shaking her head. “Wan’ blankie,” she mumbled, trying to get Dinah to let go.

The woman laughed, shaking her head. “No, come on, you don’t want it to get ruined, do you?” she reasoned, still trying to remove it from the girl’s tight grip. “Let’s leave it here and you can have it back after you eat, alright?”

Finally, after a few seconds, the black haired girl let go, letting Dinah take the blanket. 

“Thank you, sweetheart. Why don’t you go join the others in the kitchen? I’ll be there in a minute.”

Lauren nodded, and lazily walked to the kitchen as Dinah stayed behind. She was confused as to what Lauren pulling on her shirt meant. Was it accidental, or was there a specific reason behind the gesture? The blonde wasn’t sure, but she’d have to talk to Ally and Normani about it. She set the blanket on the couch then walked into, seeing the girls already eating sandwiches.

“Mama, mommy made us ‘nana and honey san’wiches,” Camila stated as the woman walked into the room, holding up said sandwich excitedly.

“I bet that’s yummy, baby,” Dinah replied with a smile. “Lauren, is yours good?”

The older girl nodded, sending the blonde a shy smile.

Dinah walked over to the counter where her girlfriends were making their own plates. “Do you guys know any reason why Lauren would be pulling on my shirt right above my breast?” she asked quietly, making sure neither of the girls could hear.

The older two women looked at her.

“Was she asleep?” Normani asked.

“She was starting to wake up, but yeah she was still pretty much asleep.”

“Well, it could mean a few things,” Ally began, checking to make sure the girls were still occupied. She rolled her eyes seeing Camila trying to steal Lauren’s sandwich triangles before looking back at the younger blonde. “It could have been just her moving in her sleep, especially if it was as the three of us were getting up.”

Dinah shrugged. “I thought it was just because she was moving in her sleep, but she tugged on it a few times. I thought she wanted something, I just don’t know what.”

The shorter woman sighed, looking at the younger one hesitantly. “Well, it could be an indication of her wanting to nurse,” she said carefully, watching the taller blonde’s reaction.

Dinah looked at her in surprise. “Like, breastfeeding?” she clarified, extremely confused. “Lauren doesn’t even want to use a sippy cup,” she pointed out, keeping her voice low. “Why would she want to do that?” 

“Well, her mom died when she was young, maybe she didn’t get that close bond nursing creates,” Normani argued. She looked at the younger woman. “Hey, we don’t know for sure that’s what it meant, alright? Don’t worry about it right now.”

“Okay, but what if it does mean she wants to?” 

Ally shrugged, giving the younger blonde a small smile. “Well, then you’ll have to think about if you want her to.” She laid a hand the taller one’s shoulder. “But don’t worry about it right now. We don’t know what it means. And I don’t think Lauren’s ready for that just yet.”

Dinah nodded, letting out a slightly nervous breath. “Yeah. You’re right.”

The shorter woman sent her one last smile, then went to clean up the table.

“Hey, if it’s something you think you might want to do,” Normani began quietly, grabbing the taller woman’s hand, “you have plenty of time to think about it. That’s all you have to do right now. Ally’s right, Lauren’s not ready for that yet, and I don’t think you are either.”

“I know. It’s just not something I ever considered doing.”

The dark skinned woman shrugged. “Camila’s never expressed any interest in it, but it’s pretty clear the two had incredibly different childhoods. Let’s just wait until Lauren’s more comfortable with everything else before bringing it up.”

Dinah nodded, and the two started helping with cleanup. 

“Alright, I’m taking Lauren out for a bit,” Ally said as they finished up. “We’ll be back in a bit.”

“Ice cream?” Normani asked knowingly.

The older woman nodded, grabbing her purse. “I don’t want her getting overwhelmed, this is the longest she’s been around Camila in her headspace,” she explained. “Plus, I want to make sure she’s okay after last night’s incident.”

The younger two nodded. 

“That sounds good,” Normani replied.

“Yeah, and while you guys are out we’ll wash her and Camila’s blankets,” Dinah added, knowing the blankets should be washed soon.

“Perfect. I’m going to go get Lauren and then we’ll be leaving.”

When the two had left, Normani went to put Camila down for nap, while Dinah went to start the washer.

The blonde smiled to herself as she put the blankets in the machine. Lauren had obviously become attached the item immediately. Hopefully this was a step in the right direction.

\----------

Ally sat and watched with a gentle smile as Lauren devoured her bowl of ice cream. The girl had gotten vanilla (again) and covered it in chocolate and peanut butter chips. While she didn’t think the girl needed that much sugar, she didn’t worry too much, knowing Lauren wouldn’t do anything to get herself in trouble if she did get a sugar rush. Unlike Camila, who they rarely let have ice cream when she was little. That was a storm none of the women wanted to deal with. 

“Are you okay after last night, Lauren?” the blonde asked softly, wanting to make sure the girl was okay.

Lauren blushed, ducking her head. “Yes. I j-just, don’t know why it happened.”

“Accidents happen. Camila had them all the time when she first started staying over with us,” the older woman replied, deciding not to mention anything about the girl being a little. 

The green eyed girl frowned. “But Camila is little, and she’s fine wearing pull ups. ‘M not a baby,” she grumbled, crossing her arms petulantly.

Ally smiled amusedly at Lauren’s actions. She decided to follow Dinah’s lead and give the girl a slight push. “Lauren, you are also a little,” she pointed out. “And there’s nothing wrong with that,” she continued calmly, stopping Lauren’s interruption. “You can fight it all you want, but you are a little. And Dinah, Normani, and myself want to help you. But we can’t help you if you continue to fight yourself.”

Tearful green eyes looked up fearfully. “But I don’t want to be a little,” Lauren confessed hoarsely. 

The older woman stood and moved to sit next to the younger girl, pulling her into a side hug. “Okay, can you tell me why?” she requested gently, running her hand up down Lauren’s arm.

Lauren sniffled, looking at her lap. “I don’t, I don’t want to get hurt,” she answered.

“Why do you think you would get hurt?”

“If I get in trouble, I get hurt.”

Ally sighed, shaking her head. “Lauren, did your dad hit you when you were younger?” she asked carefully, feeling the girl tense up.

Lauren nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. “If-if I di-didn’t do something right. Or I didn’t wear the clothes he told me to.”

“And the night of that dinner? What happened then, Lauren? Can you tell me?” 

The girl shook her head furiously, hiding her face in the older woman’s shoulder. “No, no wan’ to, p’ease,” she begged. 

Ally nodded, pulling the girl onto her lap. “It’s alright, sweetheart. You don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed. I’m sorry,” she whispered, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly. “Lauren, you are safe with us, alright? You’ve seen us with Camila. You know we’d never hurt her, right?” 

The younger one nodded, her posture still tense, but her cries softening. 

“We’d never hurt you, either, sweetheart. “We would never do to you what your father did, Lauren.”

“Even if I bad?” Lauren whispered, sounding much younger than she was.

Ally nodded fervently. “Even if you’re bad, we will never hurt you. And, we’ll set up rules for which punishments are okay, and which are not, just like Camila has. We will never use a punishment you are not comfortable with,” she promised, holding the girl a bit tighter. “I know you’re just seeing what it’s like being little, but if you want us to be your caretakers, we will be. And we’ll talk about what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t, because we can only go as far as you’ll let us. We may be the adults, but you have all the power, Lauren.”

Lauren’s tense posture deflated, her body relaxing at the statement. “I do?” she questioned, stunned.

“Yeah, you do,” the older woman confirmed, helping the girl sit up. “I’m sure Camila forgot to mention it, but we have a list of her wants and needs, and things she likes and doesn’t like. And we have a list of punishments we can use, and ones we can’t. You’ll have that, too, if you decide you want us to be your caretakers. And, you’ll have a safeword. Any time you use the safeword, we stop whatever we’re doing and talk it over.”

Lauren stared at the blonde, trying to see any indication of the woman being untruthful. It sounded too good to be true. There was no way they’d do all that, was there? Finding no sign of Ally being untruthful, the black haired girl let out a choked cry, and threw herself into the woman’s arms, tears of relief brimmed in her eyes.

The older woman grunted at the sudden weight, but hugged back tightly. “You are safe with us, Lauren. You will always be safe with us. And we’ll continue to take it slow, but just know you are absolutely safe with us.”

Lauren sniffled, looking up shyly. “Um, Dinah and Mani aren’t mad we went out without them, are they?” she asked quietly.

Ally chuckled and shook her head, sending the girl a reassuring smile. “No, they aren’t. Mila might be, but only because she’s not getting ice cream. Her on a sugar rush is not something we want to deal with.”

\------------

Dinah and Normani were laying on the couch when Ally opened the front door, guiding Lauren in.

“Do you want to go upstairs and take a nap?” she asked the younger girl quietly, holding a hand out for the girl’s coat.

Lauren shook her head, shrugging off her coat. She looked timidly to Dinah before looking at the ground again.

The younger blonde smiled, grabbing the girl’s freshly cleaned blanket before moving to the recliner. “Come here, sweetheart,” she encouraged, raising her arms and holding out the blanket invitingly.

Lauren looked to the other two women, both of whom smiled reassuringly. She nodded, then hurried over to the taller blonde, letting the woman wrap her up in the blanket before reclining back in the chair. Lauren let out a content sigh, nuzzling into Dinah’s neck, and within minutes she was fast asleep, soft little snores escaping her, and her hand moving to hook her fingers over her nose.

“I didn’t think ice cream would make her tired, what did you do?” Normani asked curiously, holding a hand out to the older woman.

Ally laid on the couch next to the younger woman. She smiled at the sight of the sleeping girl curled up with Dinah. “We talked about a few things. While I’m sure she’ll still put up a bit of a fight, I don’t think she’s as scared about all of this anymore.”

“What does that mean?” Dinah questioned, looking at the shorter blonde.

“I think we’re going to start seeing Lauren really start trying to adjust. Obviously it’s still going to take time, but I think she’s going to slowly let herself start slipping, instead of trying to resist it all the time.”

The other two looked at her incredulously.

“She wants us to be her caretakers? For sure?” Normani asked.

“We’ll have to talk to her later, but yes, I think she want us to be her caretakers.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of past abuse.

When Lauren woke up, the first thing she noticed was that she was no longer lying on top of Dinah, but instead was lying alone on the couch. The second thing she noticed was the urgency of how badly she needed to go to the bathroom. She rolled off the couch and raced to the bathroom, making it just in time before she could make a mess.

As she walked back into the living room, Dinah came downstairs. “Oh, perfect, you’re up. Did you sleep well, Lauren?” she asked as she sat next to the younger girl.

Lauren blushed, knowing she practically passed out in the blonde’s lap. “Yes,” she mumbled, looking at the floor.

“Good. Ally and Normani are setting up a movie for Camila in the playroom,” Dinah stated, deciding not to point out the girl’s embarrassment. “There are some things we need to talk to you about, and we don’t want her interrupting.”

“Am-am I in trouble?” Lauren asked quietly, because she didn’t know what she could have done to get in trouble so far. She thought she had been good.

The blonde shook her head furiously. “No, you’re not in trouble, promise,” she assured. She held a hand out for the black haired girl, who took it hesitantly. “You’re not in trouble,” she repeated, squeezing the girl’s hand softly. “We just want to talk about if you want us to be your caregivers, and what to expect, from us and from you.”

Lauren nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. She didn’t think she had done anything to get her in trouble, but she couldn’t be sure.

Ally and Normani entered from the hallway, taking a seat on the other couch.

“Alright, Lauren. We just want to be sure about this,” the oldest woman started. “Do you want us to be your caregiver?” 

Lauren nodded. “Yes, please,” she answered. “But only if you want to and are sure, because you have Camila and I don’t want to make things difficult,” she added hastily, looking at the three women anxiously.

Normani shook her head, giving the girl a serious look. “You’re not making anything complicat-”

“But I can’t be like Camila and be little,” the younger girl interrupted, working herself up into a fit. “And, and I do- I can’t, I ca-”

“Lauren, sweetheart, breathe,” Dina interrupted, wrapping the girl into her arms and pulling her into her lap. She started rubbing circles around Lauren’s stomach, hoping to calm the girl down.

Lauren’s posture tensed at first then relaxed, and she leaned to hide her face in the blonde’s neck. Dinah could feel tears hitting her skin, and the girl’s breathing slowly returning to normal.

“Okay, you’re alright, there’s no need to be upset,” she soothed, continuing to trace circles on the girl’s stomach.

“Lauren, we’ve said multiple times that we’ll take this as slow as you need to, you know that,” Ally stated, watching as the taller blonde continued to keep the girl calm. “We’re not upset about that, and you’re not making anything complicated. This was a lot easier for Camila because she knew she would be a little and wanted it, but you didn’t.”

“We understand this is different for you,” Normani added. “And we want to help. Nothing is going to make us change our mind.”

Lauren looked up hesitantly. “Even, even if I told you where my scars came from?”

“Even then. We’re not changing our minds, sweetheart,” Dinah promised, hugging the girl tighter.

The green eyed girl closed her eyes, leaning further into the blonde. “The night of the dinner, when I pushed Brad into the table,” she started, taking a shaky breath. “It made my dad really mad. I-I embarrassed him in front of a lot important people, according to him. H-he didn’t even care that Brad wouldn't listen when I said no,” she added, tears pooling in her eyes. 

“Lauren, you don’t have to tell us,” Ally interrupted, not wanting to make Lauren upset again.

The girl shook her head, wiping away her tears. “When we got home,” she continued, not looking at the women. “My dad, he hit me, with a belt. Over and over. Worse than any time before.” She sniffled, giving up on wiping away her tears. “When it was over, I went to Camila’s house. It hurt so fucking bad. And I didn’t want to at first, but she convinced me to let her parents, who are both doctors, to clean up the wounds. 

They wanted to file a police report, but I wouldn’t let them. It would only make things worse, and I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted out of that house. So they helped me file for emancipation, because I was still only sixteen, almost seventeen, and set Camila and I up with an apartment, with the condition that we both get part time jobs.”

Dinah pulled Lauren closer into her chest, hugging her tightly. “We would never do that to you, Lauren.”

Normani stood and walked over, kneeling in front of the two and taking Lauren’s hand. “What your father did to you was wrong. And he shouldn’t get to call himself your father, because that is not being a parent.”

Ally moved to sit next to the youngest two, running a hand up and down Lauren’s arm. “We will never, ever, hurt you, Lauren. It’s up to you, alright? If you want us to be your caretakers, we would love to be. But you have to tell us for sure.”

Lauren looked up at all three of the women. Letting out a shaky breath, she murmured, “Yes, please.”

Ally smiled, taking the girl’s hand. “We would love to be your caretakers. And we’ll go tomorrow and make it official, alright? Then you won’t have to worry about anyone coming around and checking up on you.”

The younger girl nodded, shifting to turn and hug the older blonde. “Thank you,” she whispered. She turned to Normani, shyly hugging the older woman.

Once Lauren was sitting on the couch again, Ally began, “Okay, for right now, I think the two biggest things to go over are the safe word and punishments.”

“Obviously your limits are going to be different from Camila,” Dinah added, taking the girl’s hand. “Camila is comfortable with spanking if needed, but we’ve only done that once.”

“If you are not comfortable with that, we won’t use it,” Normani stated, noticing Lauren’s panicked expression. “We can use other punishments instead. But you need to understand that they are never used to inflict pain or instill fear, Lauren. That is not what they are for.”

Lauren leaned into Dinah’s side, nodding. She didn’t like the idea of a physical punishment, but she could handle other ones. And she just hoped they wouldn’t change their minds and leave her later if she was bad. That would hurt more than anything. It hadn’t even been that long since she met the three women, but she was already very attached to them and didn’t think she could handle them leaving her.

“We will stick to things like timeouts, taking away privileges, earlier bedtimes, stuff like that,” Dinah continued, breaking the girl out of her thoughts.

Lauren whined, shaking her head. “No bedtime,” she grumbled.

The taller blonde chuckled. “Yes, bedtime. Camila has one, and you will, too,” she stated, her tone indicating no room for arguments.

The girl pouted, crossing her arms petulantly. “Fine.”

The three women shared an amused smile. Lauren’s attempts to prove she wasn’t a baby weren’t exactly working, and she was too adorable to take seriously when she was like this.

Ally rolled her eyes fondly. “Bedtime is not negotiable,” she stated, earning another pout from the black haired girl. “Now, the other thing we wanted to talk about was the safe word. Camila has never used it, but she has it in case something comes up that makes her uncomfortable so we can talk it over. So for example, if we’re giving you a punishment that makes you uncomfortable, just say ‘red’ and we’ll stop and figure out an alternative.”

“I can make it stop?” Lauren asked quietly.

Normani nodded. “Yes, sweetheart. You may think you don’t have a lot of power, but you do. Everything we do, we can only do with your permission,” she explained. 

“Like, like wearing pull ups?” 

“Yeah, we can’t force you to wear them,” Dinah confirmed. “We can suggest that you do, but we can’t force you to.”

“So, so I don’t have to wear them?” Lauren clarified, looking at each of the three women. She really didn’t want to wear them. And while she’d have to be extra cautious so she didn’t have an accident, it’d be better than wearing a pull up.

“Not if you don’t want to,” the shorter blonde answered. “But, if you have another accident like last night, we might have to talk about it again,” she added, not pointing out that the girl had two accidents in less than twenty-four hours.

The younger girl sighed, but nodded reluctantly. She wouldn’t have another accident, she was sure of it. She’d just make sure to go to the bathroom before bed and not drink anything prior to bedtime. Which might be kind of hard, because she’d seen Camila get a bottle of milk before bed, and it sounded really nice, even the bottle part. But she’d go without it if it meant she didn’t have to have worry about any accidents while she slept.

Lauren’s stomach growled, reminding the women it was getting close to dinner time.

Ally chuckled, standing up. “Sounds like someone’s hungry, huh?” she teased, smiling at the younger girl, who hid her face in Dinah’s neck. “Why don’t I go order pizza for dinner, and then we’ll get Camila and watch a movie?”

“Can we watch The Penguins of Madagascar movie?” the black haired girl asked shyly. “Camz always picks the movies, but I really want to see that one.”

“Penguins movies it is,” Normani agreed, sending the girl a soft smile. 

About thirty minutes later, the pizza had arrived and the three women were getting the girls situated at the coffee table in the living room to eat and watch the movie.

“Mommy, I haf ‘uice, p’ease?” Camila requested as Dinah set a plate of cut up pizza in front of her.

“Yeah, baby, I’ll get you some,” the older blonde answered. “Lauren, do you want any?”

The older girl nodded quietly. “Can I-” she cut herself off with a shake of her head.

“What, sweetheart?” Normani urged her to continue.

“Can I have it in one of the spaceship cups?” Lauren asked hesitantly, looking at the table. She had seen the cups in the cupboard, and the had a little rocket and planets on it, and she really liked it. Plus, they had straws, so they weren’t completely baby like, which was a plus.

Normani grinned, knowing the cups Lauren wanted. “Sure thing, sweets.”

The two older women went to get the requested drinks while Dinah set up the movie.

“Mama, we watch Lilo and S’ich?” Camila asked, already messily eating her pizza.

“Not tonight, baby. Lauren wanted to watch the Penguins movie.”

The younger girl nodded, then went back to shoving pieces of pizza into her mouth.

Ally and Normani returned, each setting a cup of juice in front the girls. 

“Camila, slow down or you won’t get a second piece,” the shorter woman warned.

The brunette’s eyes widened, and she let out a strangled whine. “More ‘izza,” she argued.

“Then slow down. We don’t need you choking,” Ally reasoned, rolling her eyes. 

Camila pouted, but listened to the older woman and slowly ate her food.

Lauren watched the two with stifled laughter, but she froze when she locked eyes with the shorter woman, afraid she might get yelled at. When Ally only shook her head and smiled, she relaxed, knowing the woman wasn’t upset with her.

After the movie was over, Dinah took Camila upstairs to have a bath, because the girl had more pizza sauce on her face than the amount of pizza she ate, and Lauren took a shower downstairs. She refused to let Ally nor Normani help her, but agreed to keep the door unlocked in case she needed something.

By the time Dinah came back downstairs with a sleepy Camila, Ally had a bottle of milk for the younger girl already warmed up. She noticed Lauren’s longing look and picked up the sippy cup sitting on the table. “Lauren, would you like it?” she offered, holding the cup out toward the older girl.

The green eyed girl nodded mutely, timidly walking over to sit next to the older blonde. She took the cup and hesitantly started drinking, letting out a happy sigh when the warm liquid hit the back of her throat. She leaned in to Ally’s side, and the older woman wrapped her arms around the girl, letting the younger one cuddle into her side more.

By the time Camila had finished her bottle, she was practically asleep in Dinah’s lap, so the blonde carried her upstairs. 

Lauren set her cup on the table when she finished and let out a small dinosaur yawn, leaning back into Ally.

“I think a certain someone is tired,” Normani stated, watching the girl amusedly.

The black haired girl shook her head. “Nuh uh, no sleep.” She turned further into Ally’s shoulder, trying to hide a yawn.

The older woman chuckled, urging the younger one to sit up. “Come on, Lauren, you’re tired. And I think it’s about time for bed anyways,” she said, standing up.

Lauren whined at the loss of contact. She opened her eyes, seeing the two looking at her seriously. With a huff, she stood up reluctantly, and followed them upstairs. She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, and make sure she used the toilet. When she was done, she let Normani help her into bed, happy because someone had brought her blanket up to the room. 

The older woman smiled as the younger girl immediately brought the blanket up to her face, hooking her fingers over her nose. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to come and get one of us if you need us,” she stated, giving the girl one last smile before turning off the light and walking out of the room, leaving the door half open. 

Knowing the women were happy to have her here, and with the comfort and safety of her blankie, Lauren easily fell into a deep slumber within a few minutes.

  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

When Lauren first opened her eyes, she groaned at the fact that it was still dark out. She closed them, content to go back to sleep,until she felt the pressure in her bladder. She quickly sat up, throwing her blankets aside and rushing into the hall, trying to find the bathroom. She forgot she wasn’t supposed to drink anything before bed. But the milk was so good, and it made her sleepy, which was nice. 

Now she really had to pee, but the hall was too dark and the doors were all closed and she didn’t know why, but she couldn’t find the stupid bathroom. She really really had to pee, she didn’t think could hold it any longer. She was on the verge of tears and wetting herself when Normani stepped out into the hallway.

“Lauren, what’s wrong?” the older woman asked concernedly, walking over to the girl.

Lauren shook her head, trying to hold back a sob. She was literally about to wet herself and she couldn’t formulate her words and why was this happening to her now?

Normani looked at the girl worriedly, noticing her fidgeting in her spot like Mila does when she needed the bathroom when they were out in public. Her eyes widened in realization, and she ushered the girl over to the bathroom a few doors down, internally cursing at the closed door, now understanding the girl’s panic.

Lauren sighed in relief as she emptied her bladder, grateful to have not had an accident, though she had forgotten she shouldn’t have had anything to drink before bed. But Camila seemed to enjoy it, and she wanted to know what it was like, and it ended up being so good she just forgot. 

A knock on the door sounded before Normani called from the other side, “Lauren, are you alright in there?”

The younger girl didn’t realize she’d been in the bathroom so long, nor that she had been crying. She quickly washed her hands then walked back into the hallway.

Normani smiled at her softly. “Do you think you can go back to bed now? It’s still pretty early.”

Lauren sniffled, wiping away the last of her tears. “‘Es, please,” she mumbled.

“Alright, come on,” the older woman replied, holding out a hand.

Lauren took it hesitantly, furrowing her brows when she realized they weren’t going back to the guest room. “Not there?” she asked, pointing back to the room she was staying in.

The dark skinned woman shook her head. “No, come on, just trust me.”

The younger girl nodded warily, following Normani into the older woman’s room. She was surprised the older woman was bringing her into the room, because Dinah and Ally were already there in the bed. 

“Go get in the bed, I’ll be right back,” Normani whispered, beginning to walk back out the door.

Lauren let out a choked whine, shaking her head profusely. “No go,” she begged.

“I’m just going to go get your blanket, I’m coming right back, sweetheart,” Normani promised.

“Lauren, come here,” Dinah ordered sleepily, lifting up the blankets and patting the empty space next to her. “Mani’s coming back, and we don’t mind you staying in bed with us. Mila does it all the time. Now come on, it’s still early and you need to sleep.” She patted the spot next to her once again.

The younger girl looked to Normani, who nodded encouragingly, giving the girl a slight push toward the bed. Lauren hesitantly crawled under the blankets, letting herself be pulled into the blonde’s arms. Normani returned a few moments, and Lauren reached out for her blanket, whining slightly that it was taking the older woman so long to give her her blanket. 

The dark skinned woman finally handed over the blanket, smiling amusedly as the younger girl brought it to her face and cuddled further into Dinah’s chest. “I see who the favorite is,” she joked, faking offense.

Dinah shrugged. “Gotta up your game, Mani,” she jested, giving the older woman a smirk.

“Would you two please shut up and go back to sleep?” Ally groaned, annoyed. She sat up, seeing an apologetic, and slightly timid, Lauren. “I’m not upset at you, sweetie,” she assured, smiling when the girl visibly relaxed. She glared at the other two. 

“Sorry, Ally,” the two younger women mumbled.

Normani finally climbed into bed beside Lauren, grinning when the girl cuddled into her.

“Rude, Lauren,” the younger blonde mumbled.

“Better up your game, DJ.”

“Both of you shut up and go to sleep.”

“Sorry, Ally.”

Normani looked down to see Lauren had passed out once again, and within a few minutes she was drifting off again, too.

\-------------

There was this looming feeling of dread in Lauren’s stomach when she woke up later in the morning. She couldn’t explain it, but she had the feeling it was going to be a bad day. It didn’t help that she woke up in an unfamiliar room alone, either. 

The door creaked open, and then there was suddenly a weight on top of the black haired girl.

“Lolo, up!” Camila demanded, taking the older girl’s blanket.

Lauren whined, reaching for the blanket, and frowning when the younger one held it just out of reach. 

“No, Lolo, up!” the brunette repeated.

The older girl could feel the tears pooling in her eyes, and she before she knew it she was letting out a loud sob. That was her blankie! She needed it! Why was Camila being mean and keeping it away from her? 

“Mila, I thought I said-” Dinah cut herself off as she walked into the room, hearing Lauren’s sobs and seeing Camila keeping the girl’s blanket away from her. “Karla Camila, what are you doing?”

“Lolo not wakin’ up,” the younger girl replied.

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean you can take her blanket,” Dinah scolded. “Would you like it if I took Mr. Lamb to try and wake you up?” she questioned, knowing the (albeit poorly named) stuffed lamb was the girl’s favorite, and she hated having it taken from her.

Camila gasped, shaking her head. She quickly handed the blanket back to Lauren. “‘M ‘orry, Lolo. I no take no more.”

Lauren snatched the blanket, pressing her face into the fabric, her cries slowing down. She didn’t even know why she was crying in the first place, it was just a blanket. But, she realized. it was also her sense of security, because if Dinah got it for her, then that meant she was wanted.

“Go back downstairs please, Mila,” the blonde requested, sitting on the bed and pulling Lauren into her lap. “And don’t think you’re not going to be punished, that wasn’t a very nice thing to do,” she added, watching as the younger girl sulkily walked out of the room. 

After a few minutes, Lauren’s cries finally stopped. Sniffling, she looked up hesitantly. “‘M sorry,” she mumbled, her speech a little muffled by the blanket in her mouth, which Dinah gently removed.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry,” the blonde replied, moving so that the girl was sitting on the bed facing her directly. “Camila should not have taken your blanket from you, she knows that.”

“I don’t know why I started crying though. It’s just a blanket.”

“Mila cries when we tell her she can’t take Mr. Lamb to the park with us,” Dinah divulged, shrugging. “It’s a comfort item, sweetheart. It’s okay to be upset when it’s taken away. And,” she continued when the girl tried to intervene, “it doesn’t make you a baby.”

Lauren pouted, crossing arms with a huff. “‘M not,” she whined, drawing out the word.

The blonde grinned, not convinced for a second. “Of course you’re not,” she replied appeasingly, standing up. “Now come on, let’s go get breakfast, then we’ll get all the boring paperwork and all that done to make us your official caregivers. Plus, we’re going to go and get stuff to decorate the guest room, since it’s your room now.”

The girl looked up in shock. “It’s mine?” she asked quietly, not quite believing what she was hearing. 

Dinah stopped, facing the black haired girl. “Well, you’re going to be staying here when you’re little, right?” she asked carefully, not wanting to scare Lauren off. 

Lauren looked down, seeming to think it over. “Yeah, i-if you guys will l-let me,” she answered shyly.

“Well duh we’ll let you,” the blonde retorted, rolling her eyes with an amused smile. “And we want you here. Why else would we let you decorate the guest room however you want?” 

“However I want?” the girl repeated, surprised, letting Dinah start leading her to the kitchen again.

“Yep, however you want,” the blonde confirmed with a nod. “And, we can repaint the room, too, if you want us to.”

Currently, the room was a mix of navy blue and gray color, which Lauren really liked. It kind of reminded her of a cloudy night sky, which she really loved. 

The girl shook her head. “No paint, please.”

Dinah nodded. “Alright, we’ll leave the paint how it is.”

They walked into the kitchen to see Camila sitting in her high chair, her arms crossed and a pout on her face. Dinah looked to her girlfriends for an explanation.

“Mila told us what happened upstairs,” Ally said, putting food on a plate. “And we told her that she won’t be getting ice cream at the mall today because of it.”

The younger blonde nodded in agreement. “Got it.” She turned to the brunette. “And you know what you did was wrong, yes?” 

Camila nodded grumpily, pout still in place. “‘Es, mama,” she answered.

Dinah nodded, then pulled out a chair for Lauren, who sat down quietly.

Normani set a plate of pancakes and bacon and a cup of grape juice in front of the older girl. “Did you sleep well, Lauren?”

“She better have, she ditched me for you,” Dinah grumbled teasingly as she made herself a plate.

Lauren nodded mutely, reaching for the cup. She was happy to see it was one of the space cups, and she didn’t even ask this time.

“What were you doing up so early, sweetheart?” Ally asked as she took a seat at the table. “You’re not in trouble, we were just wondering,” she assured, noticing the slight panic overtaking the older girl’s face.

Lauren shifted in her seat, looking at the floor. “I had to go to the b-bathroom, but couldn’t find it ‘cause it was too dark,” she mumbled embarrassedly. She still didn’t understand why she couldn’t find the bathroom, it was two doors down from the guest room, which was now apparently her room.

Even though she had been the one to find Lauren in the hall, Normani was still a little taken back by the admission. She shared a concerned look with the other two women. If Lauren’s regression prevented her from finding the bathroom at night, maybe they would have to rethink the pull up issue. However, they all silently agreed not to make a big deal out of it right now.

“Are you excited to decorate your room?” the shorter blonde asked Lauren, deciding to change the topic.

Lauren let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, happy for the subject change. “I don’t know,” she mumbled, shrugging. “I can pick whatever I want?”

Normani nodded. “You can. You can have more adult stuff, or have more kiddish stuff,” she replied. “Mila has a mural of the Land Before Time characters on her wall and dinosaur bedding.”

The older girl nodded, realizing she had never actually seen Camila’s room. In the two weeks she had been coming over, they mostly hung out on the first room in the living room or the playroom.

The younger girl gasped. ‘Lolo’s not ‘een my room!” she exclaimed as if she had read Lauren’s mind. “I show her? P’ease?”

“After you both finish eating,” Ally agreed, and Camila nodded, quickly finishing her breakfast.

“You know that even if you finish first, you’ll have to wait for Lauren to finish to show her your room, right?” Normani questioned amusedly, watching the younger girl shoving food into her mouth.

Camila pouted. “Lolo, hurry up,” she whined, seeing the older girl eating at a much slower pace.

“Mila, don’t rush her,” Dinah scolded. “Come on, let’s get you dressed and ready for the day. Lauren will probably be finished by the time we’re done,” she said, helping the girl down from the highchair, the brunette  beginning to run off once she was free.

“No running up the stairs, Camila!” Ally warned before the girl could get very far.

Camila stopped, turning around sheepishly. “Sorry, momma,” she mumbled, taking Dinah’s outstretched hand as the blonde approached her.

The shorter blonde rolled her eyes as the two left the kitchen before going back to her own plate. After a few minutes she looked up to see Lauren sitting in her spot, nibbling on the collar of her shirt. The three of them had noticed that over the week or so Lauren had been coming over. The girl seemed to always have some part of her shirt in her mouth; when Dinah gave her the blanket, it turned into her putting one of the corners in her mouth instead. They considered offering her a pacifier, but hadn’t yet, not wanting her to get upset because she thought they were calling her a baby.

Normani, too, had taken note of the girl sucking on her collar, and reached over to gently pull the fabric out of the girl’s mouth. 

Lauren’s cheeks turned pink, and she looked away. “Sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly.

“It’s alright, sweetie,” the dark skinned woman assured. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get ready? I think Mila really wants to show you her room.”

The younger girl nodded, slowly getting up and walking out of the room.

“I really think we should ask about her using a pacifier, or something,” Normani murmured as she and Ally cleaned up.

The shorter woman considered it for a moment. “I think we should, too. But, I don’t want her to think we’re forcing her to have a young headspace, either.”

“Well, if we bring it up, we can point out that Mila still likes babyish things, even though her headspace is around four,” Normani reasoned, putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “Mila likes being held and having a bottle at night, and still uses a pacifier occasionally.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t want Lauren to feel pressured into a younger headspace,” Ally sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Even though I’m fairly certain she is going to be younger in headspace than Mila.”

“Lauren?” Dinah interjected as she entered the kitchen. “Yeah, I’m thinking she’ll have a younger headspace, too.”

“Where are the girls?” Normani questioned, seeing the two younger ones hadn’t followed the blonde downstairs.

“Mila is showing Lauren her room,” Dinah answered, sitting on top of the counter. 

The dark skinned woman nodded. “Anyways, yeah, we’re thinking Lauren will have a younger headspace than Mila,” she confirmed.

“Well, between the bathroom incident during the night and her little meltdown over her blanket, I wouldn’t be surprised,” the younger blonde mused. “Although, I can understand the blanket thing. She’s attached to that thing, and she’s had it for like three days. I think it gives her a sense of security, like she belongs here since she has it. If it’s taken from her, that security is gone.”

Normani and Ally stared in awe at the younger woman. 

“How are you so good at this?” the shorter blonde questioned. 

“Seriously, D, I expected you to get ‘little’ as your result when you took the test,” Normani added, shrugging unaffected at the glare the taller one sent her. “You weren’t exactly the most mature person when we were younger. And you still aren’t.”

Dinah scoffed, though she didn’t look too offended. “I can be childish and still be a caregiver,” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “Plus, it’s called research, duh,” she stated, sending the two a smug smirk.

Ally rolled her eyes at the remark. “Alright, Miss Know-it-all, did any of your research tell you what Lauren tugging on your shirt meant?” she countered, quirking a brow.

The younger woman’s smirk faltered, before she looked away, nodding hesitantly. “It could mean nothing, or she was unwittingly indicating she wanted to nurse. Which I also looked into,” she admitted timidly.

The other two looked at her curiously.

“And?” Normani prompted.

“And, it is apparently commonly used as an act of comfort for littles,” Dinah explained. “There doesn’t have to be any actual, like, lactation. Apparently just the simulation of nursing is enough to provide comfort to most littles.”

“Is this something you’re seriously considering?” Ally asked, looking directly at the younger blonde. “We don’t know if Lauren even wants it, that could have just been something she did in her sleep.”

Dinah shrugged, looking away. “I won’t reject the idea completely,” she replied. “Obviously it wouldn’t be right now, Lauren’s not anywhere near ready for something like that.”

“I don’t think you are, either,” Normani interjected. “Look, it’s not just a matter of Lauren being comfortable,” she reasoned at the younger woman’s frown. “You have to be completely comfortable with the idea, too.”

“Normani’s right, Dinah,” Ally agreed, moving to stand right in front of the other blonde. “It’s something that is very intimate and personal, you have to be confident that you want to do, not just feel like you might have to if Lauren does in fact want it.”

Dinah sighed, looking between the two. “Yeah, okay, you’re right.”

Normani smirked. “Of course we are.”

Ally rolled her eyes. “Don’t start,” she warned, seeing the younger blonde about to argue. “Come on, let’s go see if the girls are ready to go.”

\--------------

Lauren stood frozen in awe looking around Camila’s room. She had to admit, even though it was definitely a kid’s room, it was pretty cool.

The walls were painted a mix of mossy and forest green, and there was a mural decal of the Land Before Time characters like Normani had said. Camila’s bed had a blue comforter with dinosaurs on it, though the older girl could see the monkey blanket Dinah had also bought when she got Lauren’s blanket. 

Lauren continued looking around, seeing the many stuffed animals her friend had, including the lamb Dinah had mentioned earlier. The black haired girl sighed wistfully. She had a Nala stuffie, but she lost a few months ago, and she didn’t know where it went. Maybe she could ask if she could get a new one? She pulled the collar of her shirt up to her mouth, nervously biting on it. It didn’t taste very good, and she didn’t really like how the slobbery fabric felt when she was done, but she didn’t really know what else to suck on.

“Lauren, sweetheart, don’t put your shirt in your mouth, please,” Ally reprimanded gently as she removed the fabric from the girl’s mouth.

The green eyed girl nodded meekly, looking down. “‘M sorry,” she mumbled, embarrassed that she had been caught doing it again.

“It’s alright, sweets, maybe we can find something else for you to chew on while we’re out?” the older woman suggested, giving the girl a warm smile.

“Yeah, maybe,” Lauren agreed quietly, following the shorter woman out of the room. 

While she was slightly looking forward to their day out, she still had the same feeling of foreboding she had when she first woke up. She just hoped nothing happened while they were out and everything went well.


	12. Chapter 12

Lauren sat in the first row of Dinah’s car, her hands fiddling nervously in her lap. They were going to the testing agency to fill out the paperwork to make Dinah, Ally, and Normani her official caregivers, which was both nerve wracking and a relief at the same time. On the one hand, she wouldn’t have to worry about being alone while she was little and have someone coming around every week to make sure she was taking care of herself. She was actually relieved she wouldn’t have to depend on herself alone because, as much as she hated to admit it, she didn’t think she  _ could _ do this on her own, but she didn’t want some stranger coming around to check on her. 

At least Camila knew the three women before introducing them to Lauren, if the younger girl trusted them, then Lauren could, too.

On the other hand, it was just making this all too real and she didn’t know how to deal with that.

Currently though, she was kind of dreading this outing. She still couldn’t shake the weird feeling she had from that morning. They were going to the mall after they filled out the paperwork, and Lauren had no idea what she wanted to do for her room. Did she want more adult, boring bedding? Or more kiddish bedding like Camila which was actually really cool? The older girl didn’t know, because the more adult bedding would make help prove she wasn’t a baby (she’d sort of given up fighting the fact she was indeed a little after her talk with Ally the other day). But maybe more child-like bedding would help her slip? She didn’t know and she really didn’t like not being able to make up her mind because she was always overthinking.

The one thing she was sure about was that she wanted a new Nala, because she lost hers and she really missed having it. She didn’t really care about it before, but now that this was happening, she really missed being able to have something to cuddle at night. Her blanket filled the void a bit, but it didn’t replace her Nala completely.

“So, Lauren,” Normani’s voice from the passenger seat broke the girl out of her thoughts. “Have you thought of what you want to get for your room?”

The black haired girl shrugged, pulling on the collar of her shirt. She wanted to put it in her mouth, but she also didn’t want to get scolded for it again. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. 

“Well, let’s start with your bed,” Ally suggested beside her, taking the girl’s hand and squeezing it softly. “Do you want any characters on it? Like Camila’s dinosaur bedsheets?”

Lauren thought for a minute. “No,” she answered, shaking her head. She didn’t really know what characters she would want, because there were so many. She didn’t want to have to decide between any.

“Alright, well do you want dark colors or light ones?” Dinah asked.

The green eyed girl considered for a moment. The walls were already dark, being navy blue and gray, like the sky at night. She didn’t want anymore dark colors though. Maybe, maybe she could find something that looked kind of like a sunset? That might be cool. “Um, light colors. Like, like a sunset maybe?” she asked shyly, looking up hesitantly.

Ally smiled, nodding assuredly. “I’m sure we could find something that will work.”

Lauren nodded, looking back down at her lap. “Can I- no, never mind.” She wanted to ask about a new Nala, but she didn’t want to ask for too much.

“No, Lauren, you can ask anything you want,” Dinah assured, glancing in the rearview mirror.

“Um, it’s just, I had a Nala, but, but I lost it,” the older girl stammered out, not looking up. “And, and I was just wondering if, if maybe I c-could get a new one?”

Normani turned to look at the girl. “We can get you one, it’s not a problem,” she promised.

“No, not need one,” Camila said, shaking her head.

Ally frowned. “And why does she not need one?”

“A’cause I haf Nala.”

Lauren turned to looked at the younger girl with shocked confusion. “What do you mean you have Nala?” 

Camila shrugged, not noticing the look of slight anger on her friend’s face. “You gaved me Nala. When Mr. Lamb was lost.”

The older girl frowned, before her eyes widened in realization. “That was months ago!” she exclaimed, staring at the younger girl incredulously. “You were supposed to bring it back!”

“I forgotted.”

“How cou-why didn’t-” Lauren couldn’t formulate her thoughts. She didn’t realize how much she  _ needed _ Nala until now, and the fact that Camila apparently had the plushie this entire time wasn’t helping.

Ally took the older girl’s hand, wrapping one arm around the girl’s shoulders. “Lauren, sweetheart, calm down,” she whispered into the girl’s ear. She didn’t need the girl getting herself worked up. “Calm down, Lauren. It’s alright. We’ll get you your Nala back when we get home. Does that sound okay to you?”

The older girl nodded, taking a few shaky breaths, blinking back unshed tears. She really didn’t know why she was freaking out so much, but knowing she could get her Nala back made her feel better. She was still a little upset Camila had it this entire time and didn’t think to give it back, though.

Finally, Dinah pulled into the parking lot of the testing agency. The blonde parked the car then shut it off, turning back to face the older girl. “Are you one hundred percent sure you want to do this?” she checked one last time.

Lauren sighed, but nodded. “Yes, I’m sure,” she replied quietly.

Normani got out of the front seat, opening the back door and helping Lauren out of the car (Lauren would like to state, just for the record, she totally could have gotten out on her just fine. Maybe.). “Alright, ready?”  She held a hand out for the girl to take.

The black haired girl hesitantly took it, looking at the older woman. She looked to Ally, who nodded assuredly. She took in a deep breath, then nodded. “Ready.”

Normani smiled, and once Dinah got Camila out of the car (because if adult Camila was a klutz, little Camila was worse) they made their way into the office building.

The same woman that was working when Lauren and Camila registered the older girl’s results looked up at the sound of the door chime, and smiled kindly. “Good morning,” she greeted. “I’m Janna, how can I assist you today?” she asked as they approached the desk.

“I um, registered my results a few weeks ago,” Lauren began, not quite meeting the older woman’s eyes. “And, and now I want to make them-” she motioned to the three women behind her “-official caregivers, please,” she finished, looking up nervously.

Janna smiled, looking between the group. “Sure thing, sweetheart.” She stood up from the desk to search through a filing cabinet. She returned a few moments later with a few papers and a clipboard. “Okay, just fill this out, and when you bring it back I’ll need a photo ID from each of you. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.”

The black haired girl nodded, taking the items and walking over to the sitting area. 

Dinah sat Camila in a chair, handing the girl her phone. “We need to help Lauren with some adult stuff, so play on that quietly, please. Alright baby?” she asked, earning a nod from the brunette.

As the three women helped Lauren fill out the paperwork, the older girl sat fidgeting in her seat. 

“Are you guys sure you want to do this?” she asked quietly.

Ally frowned. She titled the girl’s head up to look at her seriously. “We are positive we want to do this,” she stated. “We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t.”

“Even, even if I’m bad?”

Normani sighed, taking the girl’s hand. “Nothing you do will make us change our mind.”

“Yeah, Lauren,” Dinah agreed, smiling softly at the girl. “Camila gets in trouble a lot, have we decided to stop being her caregivers?” 

Lauren looked over to where her friend was engrossed in whatever she was doing on Dinah’s phone. The brunette never mentioned anything about being afraid the women would leave if she was too much trouble.  “No.”

“That’s right,” the taller blonde replied. “Even if you get in trouble, we won’t leave,” she promised, taking the black haired girl’s hand. 

“There is nothing you could do that would make us want to leave,” Ally continued. “You might make bad decisions, Lauren, but you will never be bad.”

Lauren nodded, releasing a breath of relief. “Okay.”

The three women smiled, and they continued filling out the papers. When they had finished, Lauren took the papers back to the desk, Ally and Dinah following with all three women’s IDs, Normani staying back to sit with Camila.

“Did you get it filled out okay? Any questions?”  Janna asked as the three approached.

“Yes,” Lauren answered. “No. Wait. Uh, yes, I filled it out okay. No, no questions,” she replied nervously.

The woman behind the desk chuckled. “Alright, I’ll take the clipboard and if I could borrow a photo ID?” she requested.

Lauren handed the clipboard and papers over, digging out her wallet to hand over her driver’s license, as the other two handed over theirs and Normani’s.

“And all three are being listed as caregivers?” Janna asked. “Not two caregivers and an emergency contact?”

“I want all three as my caregivers,” the green eyed girl replied. “Is that okay?”

The desk clerk nodded, giving a soft smile. “Of course it is.” She scanned the papers and IDs, handing the licenses back. “Okay, you’re all set. It’ll take a few days to process, but once it has you’ll get a card in the mail with your test determination and your caregivers’ contact information.”

“And, and I don’t have to have someone come and check on me?” 

“Nope. Unless you decide you no longer want them as your caregivers, a caseworker won’t be assigned to you.”

Lauren nodded. “Okay. Good. Uh, thank you,” she replied, smiling shyly.

Janna nodded, returning the smile. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. And if you ever need help or have questions, give us a call or come down and we’ll do our best to help.”

“Thank you,” Ally responded, smiling. 

They left the office, getting back into the car.

“Alright, so, to the mall?” Dinah asked, turning to look at the three in the back.

Ally looked to Lauren, leaving it up to the older girl.

Lauren nodded. She just hoped everything went well.

\------------

Lauren decided she  _ really  _ hated being out in crowded places. She never really liked it in the first place, but now, for whatever reason, it was too loud and there were so many people and she just wanted to go home. It wasn’t even that she was afraid of shopping for kids stuff, it was common to see littles out and about with their caretakers. She just hated how loud every store was. And Normani was really exuberant and eager about this shopping trip and it just wasn’t helping her make any decisions. And it didn’t help that she was tired and wanted to go home and nap. Plus, she still had a little resentment over Camila stealing her Nala and it just wasn’t turning out to be a good idea like she had been dreading.

After they had left the third store in the trip, they decided to stop at the food court for lunch. The only things Lauren picked out were some plain leggings and a few shirts (she did however get really excited when she saw a pair of Lion King pajamas). She didn’t really know if she wanted clothes with kids tv show or movie characters like Camila, so she stuck with basic designs for now. She was ready for the day to be over, but she knew she at least needed to pick out a new bedding set, which could take forever. She was ready to be done, but she didn’t want to say anything. What if the women decided she was too much work and didn’t want to let her pick out stuff for her room anymore? Even though she couldn’t make up her mind about what she wanted, she still wanted to be the one to decide what went into her room.

She was broken out of her thoughts when Ally asked, “Lauren, do you want any ice cream before we start again?”

The older girl shook her head. She didn’t feel like ice cream today. “No, t’ank you,” she mumbled quietly, not looking up from the table.

The older woman frowned. “Are you sure? You’re not in trouble like Camila, you can still get some.”

Camila pouted, but didn’t say anything. She knew she wouldn’t win, and would only make it worse by arguing. Plus, if she was good, her mommies said they would buy her something, and she wanted a new plushie.

The older girl shook her head. “Don’ want,” she reaffirmed. 

The three women shared a concerned look. Lauren rarely ever turned down ice cream. The older blonde usually took the girl out to get some when Camila was being especially rambunctious and it was clear the older girl was getting overwhelmed.

“Alright, well are you ready to go look for new bedding?” Dinah asked.

Lauren shrugged, but nodded slightly. 

They made their way to the nearest kids’ bedding store, figuring they could find more colorful bed sets there. It became apparent within the first five minutes that Normani was not helping at all. The older woman just kept finding different sets with designs and the other two could see that it was beginning to get to be too much for Lauren. Maybe it was a bad idea to let the one with a slight- definite, according to Dinah- shopping addiction tag along (they now knew for future reference to not bring Normani with them if they ever took Lauren shopping again). 

Dinah grabbed the older woman’s arm and whispered in her ear, “Slow down, let Lauren figure it out herself.”

Normani at least had the decency to look apologetic. “Alright.”

After about another fifteen minutes, Lauren had picked out a comforter set. It wasn’t exactly like a sunset like she wanted, but it had light, warm pink, red, and yellow colors with a blue trim and polka dots on the bottom. 

They were on their way up to the register to pay for it when something caught Lauren’s attention. A set of glow in the dark decals, with stars, the moon, and planets. 

She stopped to look at the item. Maybe, if she asked nicely, they would get it for her? Or, or maybe she could buy it herself? She knew the triad could file for a rebate because they were spending their own money to help her, but maybe she should buy this herself.

“What’re you looking at, sweet cheeks?” Dinah asked as she came to stand next to the girl.

Lauren shifted nervously, seeing the others approaching now. “Um, just a set of space stickers,” she mumbled. She cast a quick glance to the taller blonde, before looking down again. “Uh, I um, I was w-wondering, if I could, if I could get them?” She undoubtedly wanted the decals, they would go perfect with the colors the walls were painted. It would definitely seem like she was looking at the sky at night if she had them.

Dinah looked to the other two before turning back to the girl. “Hm, I don’t know,” she replied slowly, a teasing smile on her face. She tapped her chin a couple of times before continuing jokingly, “I don’t know, did you behave well enough today to deserve them?” 

Lauren’s shoulders slumped, her whole demeanor deflating. She thought she had been good. Was she not good enough today? She put up with Normani’s overbearing excitement about the trip. She didn’t fuss too much about the noisy and crowded stores. She didn’t even yell at Camila like she wanted to when she found out the younger girl had been keeping her Nala from her for  _ months _ even though she really resented the girl for doing that. 

She thought Dinah was going to say no to the stickers, and she didn’t know why, but she was really upset by it. She could feel her frustrations about the day and how tired she was building, but she couldn’t stop it. Before she knew what was happening, she let out a sob and turned into a sobbing mess in the middle of the store. She knew she needed to calm down, but she couldn’t  _ stop _ and now she was embarrassed and it just made her cry even more.

Ally looked at the other two, motioning for them to go to the register with Camila. She gently grabbed Lauren’s hand and led her out of the store and out to the car. She let the girl cry out her frustrations; she could see how tired Lauren was and figured the day was just too much for her all around.

Once Lauren’s cries were reduced to the occasional sniffle, the older woman spoke softly, “Are you finished?”

The green eyed girl nodded. “I-I sorr,” she mumbled, pulling the collar of her shirt to her mouth.

Ally sighed, gently tugging the fabric out of the younger one’s mouth. “Can you tell me what happened?” she encouraged, wiping away a few stray tears from the girl’s eyes.

“It was so l-loud an’ crowded, I didn’t like it. An’ Normani jus’ kept showing me things an’ I couldn’t d-decide,” Lauren answered, and Ally could see the girl getting worked up again.

“Lauren, sweetheart, calm down, you’re not in trouble,” the older woman promised, grasping the younger girl’s hand. “I just want you to talk it out so that I can understand, alright?”

The black haired girl nodded, taking a few deep breaths. “I wasn’t excited to pick stuff out, I jus’ wanted to get it over with,” she continued, looking at the floor. “There was so much and I couldn’t decide, and I didn’t like it. I wanted to be done. But then, then I saw the stickers, and I really wanted them. But I thought Dinah was gonna say no, and I jus’, I was so tired an’ I could feel myself getting upset but I couldn’t stop it.”

Ally nodded, understanding in her eyes. “Okay. I know you’re tired, this is right about the time you’ve been taking naps,” she stated. “You’re not in trouble, okay? I know this is still overwhelming for you, and it was probably a bad idea to let Normani come shopping with us, she can get a little too extreme with her excitement.” 

“‘M sorry,” Lauren mumbled, kicking at the ground. “I ruined it.”

“No, you didn’t ruin it,” the older woman assured, lifting the girl’s chin up to look at her. “You didn’t ruin it. It would have been better if you had told us it was getting to be too much, but we’re not upset, and you’re not in trouble.” She took out her phone, sending a quick text. “Dinah and Normani are going to finish paying, and then we’ll go home. We can buy everything else online, does that sound better?” 

Lauren nodded, wiping away the last few tears that had spilled over. “Okay.”

Ten minutes later, the two women were walking out of the mall with Camila holding their hands between them, the girl bouncing with her steps, a bag in her hand.

“Hi, momma! Hi, Lolo!” the brunette greeted cheerily as they approached the car.

“Hi, baby. What’s got you so excited?”

“I help Mama an’ Mommy wif toy for Lolo,” the younger girl answered, shaking the bag in her hand. “I gots it for her a’cause she was upset. An’, I gots a new teddy!” 

Ally shook her head amusedly. “Really, you two? I can’t leave you alone with her?” 

Dinah shrugged. “She’s been on her best behavior since this morning, and her punishment from that incident was no ice cream.”

The shorter blonde nodded, knowing the younger woman had her beat. “Fair enough. Alright, let’s get everything in the car, and then let’s head home.” She looked over to Lauren, who didn’t look like she was going to last much longer staying awake. “I think someone is in need of a nap.”

\---------

“Mila, can you go up to mommies’ room and grab Lauren’s blanket, please?” Dinah asked as they entered the house, carrying Lauren in her arms. 

The older girl was asleep not even two minutes into the drive back. 

The brunette nodded, running towards the stairs.

“No running, Mila,” Ally scolded, watching to make sure the girl slowly made her way up the stairs. 

She returned a few moments later just as Dinah was getting Lauren situated on the couch.

“Thank you, baby,” the younger blonde said appreciatively, laying the blanket over the older girl, who immediately brought the fabric up to her mouth.

“We need to find something else for her to suck on,” Normani murmured. 

“Well, we can suggest a pacifier or something. You never know, she might accept one,” Dinah reasoned. “Alright, I’m going to go throw the bedding in the wash so she can use it tonight.” She grabbed the set and walked off to the laundry room.

“Did you get the stickers, too?” Ally asked Normani as they walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, when did you want to give them to her?”

“Well, she was pretty good up until that last store,” the older woman reasoned, setting the coffee maker up. “And, it was obvious the meltdown was a result of being tired and a lot of frustrations throughout the day. I think, if there aren’t too many problems tonight, and we talk to her about today, we can give them to her before bed. What do you think?”

“Sounds alright to me. Let’s just make sure Camila gives Nala back, otherwise we might have an issue.”

\------------

Dinner was an uneventful affair, they just had take out since none of the women felt like cooking. Dinah took Camila up for a bath afterwards, and Lauren agreed to take a shower right after, too. She still wouldn’t let any of them help her, but she left the door unlocked just in case.

After that, she let the three help her get her new bedsheets and and comforter on her bed, mostly because she didn’t think she could do it herself (not that she would admit it) and they had offered to help. 

Camila ran into the room as they were finishing making the bed. She pulled Nala out from behind her back. “Here, Lolo,” she said, holding the plush lion out to the older girl.

Lauren took it, immediately hugging the lion to her chest. “Thanks, Camz,” she replied. It felt really nice to have her Nala back. 

“Oh! I ‘orgotted!” the younger girl exclaimed, running out of the room, only to return a few moments later. She offered a stuffed panda bear to her friend. “Now haf two stuffies like me.” She grinned happily.

The black haired girl smiled, going over and kissing the brunette’s cheek. “Thanks, Camz, I love it.”

Camila blushed, looking away shyly. “Welcome, Lolo.”

“Mila, baby, will you go wait in your room for a bit?” Dinah asked softly. “Mommies need to talk to Lauren about something, and then we can go downstairs and you can have your night time bottle, alright?”

The younger girl nodded before leaving the room.

Lauren looked at the women nervously. “A-am I in trouble?” 

“No, sweets, you’re not in trouble,” Ally assured, sitting on the bed. She pat the spot next to her, and the younger girl hesitantly sat down. 

“We just wanted to talk to you about today,” Dinah said, kneeling in front of the girl. “We know today was a little overwhelming, and we’re not upset. But next time, we need you to tell us when you feel a meltdown like that coming, okay?”

“We need you to tell us, if you can, so that we can you help you stop it,” Normani added, taking the girl’s hand and squeezing softly. “We don’t tolerate tantrums, but we know there were extenuating circumstances today.”

“We need you to tell us when you’re feeling overwhelmed,” Ally said. “We don’t know unless you tell us. If you tell us, we can talk it out and figure out how to help you. Do you understand?”

Lauren nodded, looking at each of the three. “Yes,” she replied quietly, trying to pull her collar up to her mouth. 

The shorter blonde stopped her. “I think we need to find you something to chew on instead of your shirts as soon as possible,” she said softly, smiling at the girl, who looked down sheepishly. “It’s alright. We just don’t want you biting holes in everything.”

“Now, because you were really good today, aside from that little meltdown, and you were calm and behaved after your nap and through dinner and bath time, we think you deserve a little surprise,” Normani said, looking to Dinah, who nodded.

The younger blonde pulled the pack of glow in the dark decals from behind her back, holding them out for the girl. 

Lauren gasped in surprise. She didn’t think they would get them for her after what happened in the store. “‘Eally?” she whispered, looking at each of the women.

“Yep. Now, in the future, if you throw a tantrum, you won’t get anything,” Ally warned, turning the girl’s face to look at her. “Understood? We do not get upset or cry when we don’t get our way. We understand you didn’t know Dinah was teasing you in the store today, and there was a lot leading up to what happened.”

Lauren nodded. “‘ot it,” she replied, happily looking at the stickers in her hand. She knew throwing fits wouldn’t get her anything, and she had no doubt the women would do more than talk to her if she threw a tantrum in the future. 

Normani smiled. “Alright, now how about we put these up on the ceiling?”

The younger girl nodded excitedly, handing the pack over to the older woman. She watched as Normani and Dinah stood on the bed and stuck the decals on the ceiling. “Alright, now that that’s done,” the taller blonde started as they got off the bed, Normani leaving to get Camila and give the girl her nightly bottle.

“Do you want some milk before bed again?” she asked the green eyed girl.

Lauren thought about it, before remembering the almost-incident the night before. “Nuh uh,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Well, it’s still pretty early,” Ally responded. “Do you want to come watch a movie while Mila has hers?”

The younger girl nodded, grabbing her elephant blanket.  Taking Dinah’s outstretched hand, she followed them downstairs, going to curl up in the recliner. 

The younger blonde walked over, picking the girl up and sitting down in the chair, setting Lauren in her lap before leaning the recliner back. Lauren whined in protest at first, but settled down after a few moments. 

Normani walked into the living room with Camila on her hip, and smiled at the two in the chair. She set the younger girl on the couch, frowning when the brunette cuddled up to Ally. “Wow, thanks, I see who’s really loved in this house,” she muttered sarcastically, sitting on couch.

Camila crawled over, settling herself in the older woman’s lap. “Milk, mommy?” she asked.

Normani shook her head with a laugh. “Yeah, baby. Here,” she said, handing the girl the bottle, who took it and happily started suckling. 

Lauren watched with fascination, nuzzling further into Dinah. The day didn’t go as well as she hoped, but the three women weren’t upset with her, even after her meltdown.

Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.  


	13. Chapter 13

Lauren sat up with a gasp, holding back a startled cry. She struggled to untangle herself from the blankets, ending up falling off the bed and sprawled out on the floor. Disoriented and breathing heavily, she took in her surroundings. She could just make out her bed, seeing the light colors of her new comforter. A few feet away from her was Nala, it must have fallen while she was asleep. And on the ceiling were the glow in the dark stickers. She was in her room at Dinah, Normani, and Ally’s house. She wasn’t alone, the women were just down the hall, and Camila was probably passed out across the hall. 

She blinked, trying to hold back tears. She’d woken from a nightmare, though she didn’t quite remember what it was about, just that she was alone and scared. She shook her head, trying to reassure herself. The women were just down the hall, and Camz was in the room across from her. She wasn’t alone.

Now that she was awake, she could feel just how badly she needed to pee, and quickly ran to the bathroom. Luckily the door was left open this time, so she had no problem finding it. When she returned to her room, she picked Nala up from the floor and cuddled it and climbed back into bed, cuddling the lion and her blanket. 

After about ten minutes of tossing and turning, she gave up on trying to get back to sleep. She didn’t know what time it was, she didn’t have a clock and her phone was downstairs. Sighing, she looked up at the ceiling, staring at the glowing stars and planets. She pulled Nala close to her face, nibbling on the tail. She wondered if she could go into the women’s room and ask them how to fall back asleep.

“‘aybe I can wake t’em up?” she whispered to the stuffed animal. After a moment of thought, she shook her head. “No, no I don’t wan’ to make t’em mad.”

She continued to stare at the stickers, trying to figure out what she should do. Finally, she had an idea. She grabbed her blanket and Nala, and carefully snuck out of her room, down the hall and then downstairs. She walked over to the recliner, curling up under her blanket, bringing Nala close to her, chewing on the lion’s ear. She couldn’t work up the courage to go into the women’s room to wake them up, but this was her favorite spot to nap, so she thought it might work (though she liked it better with Dinah holding her).

It didn’t take too long for her exhaustion to catch up with her, and soon she was back to sleep.

\---------

Ally thought she was the first awake, but was surprised to see Dinah scrolling through her phone when she turned around. “What are you doing?” she asked quietly, mindful of a still sleeping Normani.

“Just looking at some stuff to show Lauren,” the younger blonde answered. “I know we don’t want to pressure her into a younger headspace, but she can’t continue chewing on her clothes and blanket. She’ll ruin them.” She handed the older woman her phone.

Ally looked through the page, seeing an assortment of items. Dinah had been looking at pacifiers, which the older woman was still hesitant to suggest, but wasn't completely ruling out. What surprised her was that the younger woman had apparently looked up other alternatives to using pacifiers, and had found silicone necklaces specifically made for chewing. They weren’t sure if Lauren liked sucking on things or biting them, but either way the chewing necklaces could work for both. Plus, they were made for all ages it seemed, so it wouldn’t seem like they were calling the girl a baby. 

“I also found some bottles, just in case. But I also picked out some sippy cups, just so Lauren doesn’t accuse us of thinking she’s a baby,” Dinah explained quietly as Ally handed the phone back.

“She is a baby, though,” Normani mumbled, rolling over to lay on Ally. “I don’t care what she says, her headspace will be younger than Mila’s. It just might take some time.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush into it with her,” the older woman reasoned. “Why don’t we go get the girls up and get started on breakfast?” she suggested, slipping out from under Normani.

Dinah nodded while Normani grumbled but got out of bed. The younger two went to get Camila while Ally went to get Lauren.

“Uh, guys, is Lauren in there with Mila?” the shorter woman asked seeing the empty room. She frowned at the jumbled sheets and blankets on the bed. 

“No, she’s not in there?” Normani responded.

“The bathroom door is open, so she’s not in there,” Dinah added, carrying a sleepy looking Camila out of the younger girl’s room.

Ally was still frowning, trying to figure out where the other girl was. 

“Hey, don’t freak out yet, Smallz. She might be down in the living room. Maybe she woke up before us and snuck down,” the younger blonde reasoned, laying a hand on the older woman’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go look,” Ally agreed, walking to the stairs. 

She stopped when she entered the living room, breathing in relief seeing the older girl in the recliner.

“What’s she doing down here?” Dinah wondered, going to sit Camila on the couch.

“No, Mama, ‘ack,” the girl whined, reaching out for the blonde.

“Come here, baby,” Normani said, going to sit with the younger one. 

Camila leaned into the dark skinned woman’s side, sighing contently and settling down.

Dinah walked over and kneeled in front of the recliner, brushing a few stray strands of the older girl’s hair back. “Lauren,” she called softly. “Lauren, sweetheart, it’s time to get up.”

Lauren whined, but it came out muffled because she had Nala’s tail in her mouth. “Nuh uh, s’eepin’.”

The younger blonde chuckled, gently tugging the girl’s blanket and Nala away and setting them aside.

“No, ‘ive ‘ack,” the green eyed girl said, reaching for her things. 

“You can have them back after you open your eyes,” Dinah countered.

The girl grumbled, but opened her eyes, blinking a few times before looking at the blonde.

“Hi, sweet cheeks. Mind telling us how you ended up out here?” 

Lauren hid her face in the arm of the chair, mumbling something.

“Sorry, sweets, but you’re going to have to repeat that,” Ally said, walking to sit on the other arm of the chair.

Lauren turned to face them reluctantly. “Had n-nightmare, an’ didn’t wan’ to wake you,” she answered quietly.

The three adults nodded in understanding (Camila had dozed off and wasn’t listening). 

“Why didn’t you come to us, sweetheart?” Ally asked softly, running a hand through the girl’s hair. 

“Didn’t wan’ you to be mad.”

“We wouldn’t have been mad,” Normani replied, sending the girl a warm smile. “That’s what we’re here for.”

“Do you remember what it was about?” Dinah questioned.

Lauren shook her head. “Jus’ that I was alone and it ‘as scary,” she whispered, pulling the collar of her sleep shirt to her mouth.

Ally gently pulled it away. “You are not alone, Lauren. The three of us are here, and you have Camila.”

“If you have another nightmare, come wake us up,” Normani stated. “It doesn’t matter what time it is. We want you to come to us, alright?”

The older girl nodded. “M’kay,” she replied. She looked at Dinah. “I have Nala and blankie back?” 

“Until breakfast is done,” the taller blonde agreed, handing back the items. “You can take Nala to the table with you, but the blankie stays here so it doesn’t get ruined, okay?”

Lauren nodded, happily accepting the items. She immediately started nibbling on the stuffed toy’s ear.

“I think after breakfast we’re going to find you something else to chew on,” Ally mused, watching the girl.

The black haired girl blushed, covering herself with her blanket.

Dinah looked to the older two with a mischievous smile.

Ally frowned, knowing Dinah was up to something. “Be careful, I don’t want another incident like yesterday,” she whispered into the younger woman’s ear before going to sit on the couch with Normani and Camila.

The other blonde rolled her eyes. She wasn’t going cause any problems. “Where’d Lauren go?” she asked in a jokingly worried tone, silently telling the other two to play along. “She was just here, where’d she go?”

Under the blanket, Lauren frowned. Did Dinah really not know she was here? She was about to reveal herself, but stopped. Dinah didn’t sound that upset. What if she was playing? The black haired girl didn’t know what to do. Should she reveal herself? Or should she continue hiding? Was it a game? Camila had taught her a few different ways of playing over the last couple of weeks, but this wasn’t one of them.

Normani’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. “What’s that lump in the recliner?”

Lauren suddenly felt a finger poking her side, and she couldn’t help but let a few giggles escape; it really tickled.

“Hmm, I don’t think a lump is supposed to laugh,” Ally joined in, no longer worried about what Dinah was doing. 

Lauren was still being assaulted by pokes, and she couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles with each one. Finally, she couldn’t take it and pulled the blanket off her face, looking up at a smiling Dinah.

“Ah ha! Lauren was the one under the blanket the entire time,” the taller woman gasped in faux shock, turning to give the other two women a wink.

“I ‘ere,” the green eyed girl confirmed through a laugh. 

She didn’t really understand why, but the little game made her feel really warm and happy. Maybe it was because it was so simple and innocent? This felt like something she’d do with her parents as a young girl, but didn't get much of a chance to. All she knew was that she liked it. Maybe they could play it again later. 

Suddenly she felt herself being lifted out of the chair. 

“Come on, sweet cheeks,” Dinah said, settling the girl on her hip. “Let’s go get you little ones breakfast, yeah?” she asked, grabbing Nala from the chair.

Lauren was about to argue that she wasn’t little, but stopped before she said anything. She found that she didn’t really mind being called it. Any time the women called her ‘sweetheart’ or ‘sweets’, or even when Dinah called her ‘sweet cheeks’, it made her feel all light and fuzzy. 

“‘Kay,” she agreed, laying her head on the blonde’s shoulder. 

Normani and Ally shared a surprised look. Lauren hadn’t disputed the younger woman calling her a little one. Maybe they were making some progress.

Breakfast passed uneventfully, both the girls happily eating their cereal, though Lauren did protest slightly that she didn’t want milk with hers. They got past that slight mishap with a compromise of the girl having milk in her sippy cup instead of juice.

Afterwards, they moved to the living room, Dinah heading upstairs for her laptop before returning. Camila was happily sitting on the floor watching Bubble Guppies while Lauren sat quietly next to her, fiddling with her blanket.

“Lo, sweetheart,” Dinah called as she sat in the recliner, setting her computer on the arm of the chair. “Come up here with me. I want to show you some stuff,” she requested, holding her arms open for the older girl.

Lauren picked up her Nala and blanket and quickly crawled into the chair with the blonde.

“Alright, so, we didn’t get to finish getting you stuff yesterday,” Dinah started.

The black haired girl hid her face in her blanket. She totally ruined the shopping trip the previous day.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart,” Normani promised. “Really we could have been yesterday after we got you bed set anyways. This is just some extra stuff we want to get you.”

Lauren looked up shyly. “‘Eally?” she whispered. She didn’t think they would buy her anything else other than what was actually necessary.

“Really,” Ally confirmed, giving the girl a bright smile. “We want to do this. We just need you to pick some stuff out, alright?”

Lauren nodded, and looked to the younger blonde expectantly. 

Dinah opened the browser, but faced the girl before doing anything. “Okay, now, we just need to tell you one thing. And you need to hear us out, alright?”

The raven haired girl nodded warily, unconsciously chewing on her Nala’s tail.

Normani moved to kneel in front of the two, gently removing the tail from the girl’s mouth. “Now we’ve noticed you like to suck and chew on things,” she started, and the girl blushed, turning away in embarrassment. The dark skinned woman gently turned the other girl’s head to face her. “It’s not a problem, but we don’t want you ruining your clothes, Nala, or you blanket,” she explained calmly.

“But, we do want you to have something to suck or chew on,” Ally interjected. “So, we want to know if you would like to have a pacifier.”

Lauren frowned, looking down. Did they think she was a baby? She had to admit that the idea of having something suckle on that wouldn’t be taken away would be nice. But a pacifier was for babies, and she wasn’t a baby (she wouldn’t admit it, but something about that thought didn’t sit well with her).

“Now, before you get upset,” Dinah continued, feeling the girl tense up. “It won’t make you a baby. Camila used to use them at night when she first started staying with us. I'm sure she used them with you, too.” she pointed out.

That was true, Lauren thought. After the younger girl had first told her she was a little, Camila had used a pacifier when they were alone and she wanted to be little. There wasn’t much they could do the Cabellos’ home, but that was one of the few ways she could slip into headspace for a little bit.

Plus, Lauren realized, she didn’t get to use a pacifier much as a kid. The few pictures she had from when she was really little, before her dad became so involved with his work, rarely ever showed her using one. Using one might not be as bad as she thought.

Finally, she nodded, looking up to Dinah. “M’kay, I see?” she asked quietly.

The taller woman smiled, and quickly opened the links she had saved. Lauren was amazed at how many choices she had, and a little overwhelmed if she was being honest. 

There was a set of two pacifiers, one was blue with blue circles on it and the other had blue elephants that matched her blanket. There was one set with a Simba on it and the other had a paw print. Then there were two purple ones, one with stars and another with a penguin. There was also a Winnie the Pooh one. The last set were two glow in the dark pacifiers, one with an astronaut, and the other with a rocket ship. She couldn’t decide which ones she wanted.

Normani must have noticed her growing agitation, because she spoke quietly, “We can get them all, Lauren. It’s alright.”

“Yeah, because you’ll probably lose them, and it’s always a good idea to have back ups,” Ally agreed, giving the girl a nod to say it was okay. “And if you don’t like them, we can always send the unopened ones back.”

The older girl looked up hesitantly. “I get, p’ease?” she requested quietly.

Dinah nodded, smiling at the girl. “Sure thing, sweetheart,” she acquiesced, adding the items to the shopping cart. “Alright, now, let’s take a look at these,” she said, opening the page to the chewing necklaces.

Lauren looked in awe at the items. There was a navy star with three beads around it, and a teal stegosaurus one. 

“I get?” the green eyed girl asked.

“Do you want them both?” Normani asked. “Or just one?”

Lauren frowned, looking back to the laptop screen. They were both pretty cool. “‘Oth?” 

Ally nodded. “If you want both, we can get both.”

Dinah added both necklaces to the cart. She opened the last links for the sippy cups. “Alright Lauren, last few things,” she said, but didn’t get a reply. “Lauren?” She looked down to see the girl had fallen asleep. She rolled her eyes, but smiled widely. “This kid.”

Ally and Normani looked over to the sight. 

“What is it about you that makes her fall asleep?” the dark skinned woman asked, but didn’t sound annoyed.

The younger blonde shrugged. She frowned when she noticed Lauren had her shirt bunched up over her breast and the fabric slightly in her mouth. 

“What’s up?” Ally asked, noticing the look on the younger woman’s face.

Dinah looked up, shaking her head. “Uh, nothing. Just that Lauren has my shirt in her mouth. Like the part right over my breast,” she explained, still watching the girl. “I don’t know what it means.”

Normani shrugged. “We’ll figure it out eventually. Let’s just let her get comfortable with everything else before we talk to her about it.”

Dinah nodded, then went back to the computer. She added the rest of the items to the cart. There was an assortment of sippy cups and bottles, including an elephant one of each to match the pacifier they had ordered and the girl’s blanket, along with Lion King ones and and Winnie the Pooh sippy. They wouldn’t tell Lauren the bottles were for her just yet, if anything Camila could always use them, too.

Dinah checked the items out and submitted the order, closing her laptop and setting it aside.

She looked down at Lauren once more, and smiled softly. She kissed the girl’s temple, and Lauren nestled further into the blonde. 

Hopefully the next few weeks would go smoothly, and Lauren would trust them enough to let go completely.

\------------

A few nights later, Dinah and Normani were getting Camila ready for bed. Ally had been called in to cover a shift, and Lauren had gone back to her and Camila’s apartment the day before because she had to work the rest of the week.

The blonde had just taken Camila up for a bath, and Normani was getting the girl’s bed ready when her phone went off. 

She frowned slightly seeing Ally’s caller ID, the older woman rarely ever called them when she was on shift. “Ally, what’s up babe?” 

The older woman’s frantic voice replied, “Lauren’s at the hospital. She was in a car accident.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in no way a medical professional, take anything related to medical stuff lightly.

Dinah walked into Camila’s room with the younger girl as Normani was finishing her phone conversation with Ally. 

“Is she okay?” the older woman asked into the phone. She sighed, running a hand over her face. “Okay, we’ll be there in a bit.”

“What’s wrong?” the younger blonde asked, noticing the distressed look on her girlfriend’s face. When the other woman didn’t answer, her heartbeat sped up. “Normani.”

Normani cast a cautious look to Camila. “Mila, I need you to be big right now,” she stated. 

The brunette frowned. “Why, Mommy?”

The dark skinned woman sighed. “Because, I need to tell you something, but I don’t think little Camila could handle it.”

Dinah’s eyes widened. “Normani, what happened?” she asked again, this time more forcefully.

The older woman sighed, looking between the other two. “Lauren was in a car accident.”

“What?!” Camila exclaimed panickedly, looking at Normani. “No, no she’s fine,” she said, pacing slightly. “She texted me right before dinner saying she was almost done with her shift and that she was gonna come over after.”

“How do you know?” Dinah asked, looking at Camila concernedly.

Normani laid a hand on the girl’s shoulder, ceasing her pacing. “Camila, listen. Ally just called me. Lauren was brought into the ER about thirty minute ago,” she explained, looking directly at the girl. “One of the nurses found her card, and saw Ally’s name on it and notified her.”

Camila looked up tearfully. “Is she okay?” When Normani didn’t answer, her face fell. “Normani, please, is she okay?” she begged fearfully.

“I don’t know,” the older woman replied regretfully, pulling the younger girl into her arms. “Ally hasn’t been able to see her yet. The doctors were working to get her stabilized.”

“Is she going to be able to see her soon?” Dinah questioned. “If Lauren’s not good with strangers, she might not stay calm without Ally there.” 

“Lauren was brought in at the end of her shift, so Ally’s waiting to see her,” Normani answered. She looked at Camila. “We’re going to go to the hospital, and hopefully we’ll be able to see Lauren soon. Do you want to be little, Camila?”

The brunette sniffled, wiping away her tears. “No, no, I can’t be little,” she responded quickly. “Lauren, Lauren is hurt and I ca-can’t be little. I have to be big.”

“No, Mila, you can still be little,” Dinah argued, laying her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “You can still be little. The doctors are taking care of Lauren, okay? Ally will make sure of it. If you need to be little you can be.”

Camila shook her head. “No, no, I don’t want to be little,” she stated firmly, slightly stomping her foot. “Can we just go to the hospital, please?” she requested. “I need to see Lauren.”

The blonde nodded. “Okay. Change out of your pajamas and we’ll go,” she replied. 

Camila grabbed clothes from the closet and quickly ran to the bathroom. She returned a minute later, changed into plain jeans and a tshirt. 

“Okay, get your stuff and we’ll go,” Normani said, grabbing a hoodie for the girl.

The brunette grabbed her phone and wallet, then ran out the door.

“Lauren didn’t slip before she got in her car, did she?” Dinah asked quietly.

The older woman shook her head. “No, Ally told me that when the paramedics got there, Lauren was awake and talking like her adult self. Not completely aware but enough to answer basic questions. The accident was caused by some asshole running a redlight.”

Dinah let out a relieved sigh, grateful Lauren wasn’t trying to drive if she had slipped. She looked to the doorway. “Come on. Camila won’t settle down until she knows Lauren is going to be okay.”

\-----------

Lauren was terrified.

There were strange, loud noises around her, and she could hear voices that she couldn’t recognize. She was in excruciating pain, and she no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t open her eyes. They felt heavy, like they were being taped closed, but she couldn’t feel anything keeping them shut. 

She tried to move, but found somebody stopped her. She let out a whimper, struggling to move, but it only made the pain worse.

Suddenly another hand was on her shoulder, and she let out startled cry.

“Little one, can you hear me? I need you to calm down,” an unknown voice said softly from beside her. 

The girl only let out another whimper, still trying to get away from whoever was holding her still. The strange beeping noise was only getting louder, the pain was getting worse, and more voices she didn’t recognize were shouting things she didn’t understand. And, she couldn’t even figure out where she was because she still couldn’t open her eyes.

“Sweetie, I can help you, but I need you to calm down, alright? Just take a few breaths,” the unknown voice spoke soothingly.

Lauren shook her head. She was scared, she hurt, and she just wanted someone she knew, not this stranger. “A-Awwy,” she choked out. “W-wan’ Awwy.”

“Ally? You want Ally, little one?” 

“Wan’ Awwy,” Lauren repeated, her breathing getting more and more frantic.

“Okay, I can get her for you,” the stranger promised. “Sel, go get Ally for me, please.”

This Sel person must have been who was trying to keep her still because Lauren immediately felt someone let her go.

“Alright, sweetie, I need you to calm down now. Ally is coming,” the stranger assured. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

The girl took a few breaths, trying to calm herself. She didn’t like not knowing where she was, and she hated that there were so many strangers around.

A hand grabbed hers and then, finally, a voice she recognized spoke quietly, “Lauren, sweetheart, I’m here. Can you open your eyes for me, baby?”

Lauren’s tense posture relaxed slightly. Ally was here now, she was safe. She took a few deep breaths, and finally she was able to slowly able to open her eyes. Blinking a few times to clear her vision, she looked up to see the older woman’s dark brown eyes looking at her concernedly. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ally whispered, running a hand over the girl’s head. 

“Lauren,” the strange voice called. 

Lauren looked up to see a woman with short, jet black hair standing in front of her. 

“Hi, sweetie. I’m Dr. Lovato, or you can call me Demi. I’m a friend of Ally’s,” the woman said gently, distracting the girl from the nurse inserting an IV in her arm. “Do you know where you are?”

Lauren shook her head, looking around. There were people running around in white coats and scrubs, and when she looked at Ally, the blonde was wearing a top with little teddy bears all over it.

“‘ou ‘ork?” the girl asked hesitantly, looking at Ally.

The older woman nodded. “Yeah, you’re at the hospital sweetheart. Do you remember what happened?”

Lauren frowned, trying to think. “Libwawy,” she replied, knowing she was at work.

“Yeah, you were at the library,” Ally confirmed, squeezing the girl’s hand lightly. “Lauren, sweetheart, you were in a car accident on your way over to our house. Do you remember?” she asked slowly.

The green eyed girl shook her head, trying to remember. She remembered being at the library, and vaguely remembered getting in her car, but the rest was a blank.

“Lauren, Lauren it’s alright,” Dr. Lovato said, seeing the girl’s heart rate speeding up on the monitor. “It’s okay if you don’t remember, no need to get upset. It’s normal.”

“Sweets, you need to calm down. You’re not going to make yourself remember by working yourself up,” Ally said soothingly. 

“Hey, Mendes is ready in ortho,” the nurse from earlier said as she entered the exam room.

“Thanks, Selena,” Demi replied. “Ally, we’re going to give Lauren something to help her sleep through getting her wrist set, and then meds to keep the pain away. Can you keep her calm until they take effect?”

Ally nodded, turning to face the girl. “Hey, sweetheart, look at me,” she encouraged, tapping the girl’s hand. When green eyes met her own, she smiled softly. “I bet you’re scared huh? Being in a strange place,” she said, and the girl nodded. “But it’s okay. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. And DJ, Mani, and Mila will be here soon. Does that sound good?” she asked, seeing Selena inserting a syringe into the girl’s IV.

Lauren nodded, gripping the older woman’s hand tightly. After a few minutes, she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

“Lauren, sweets, it’s okay, you can go to sleep,” Ally encouraged, brushing some of the girl’s hair back. “Stop fighting and go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up, I promise.” Once Lauren was asleep and had been taken out of the room, she turned to Demi. “How bad is she hurt?” 

“We did an ultrasound before she started waking up, and there doesn’t seem to be any internal bleeding. And the CT scan showed a slight break in her left wrist and a couple of fractured ribs,” the older doctor answered, standing next to the blonde. “We did an MRI when she was first brought in, and nothing looked out of the ordinary, but she does have a mild concussion.”

Ally nodded. “And her wrist?”

“It’s a simple break. Mendes is going to set it, along with taping up her ribs. We’ll get her settled in a room on the Peds floor when we’re done.”

The shorter woman’s phone vibrated, and she pulled it out of her pocket, reading the text. “Dinah said they’re in the waiting, I’m going to go update them,” she said. She looked up to the older doctor. “You’ll come tell me when she’s been settled?”

“Of course,” Demi promised, resting a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “Lauren’s going to be fine. She’ll probably be sore and hurt for a while, but she’ll make a full recovery.”

Ally smiled, nodding. “Thanks, Dem. I’m going to go update the others.” 

She made her way out of the exam room and to the waiting room. She had just rounded the corner when a body slammed into her, and immediately she knew who it was. “She’s going to be okay, Camila,” she whispered, running a hand up and down the girl’s back. “Lauren is going to be fine, I promise.”

Camila pulled back sniffling, wiping away tears. “Can I see her?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

“How serious are her injuries?” Dinah prodded, coming to stand next to the two.

Ally led them back to where Normani was sitting, keeping Camila close to her. “She has a mild concussion, and a broken wrist and a couple of fractured ribs,” she explained. “There’s no internal bleeding, which is good. And they took her to get her wrist set and her ribs taped, so once they’re done with that you can see her.”

“But she’s going to be okay?” Camila asked, her face distraught and seemingly on the verge of tears again.

“She’s going to be just fine,” the older blonde promised, pulling the younger girl into her arms, sitting the brunette on her lap. 

The younger girl let out a relieved sob, leaning further into Ally. The older woman ran her hand up and down the girl’s back, whispering assurances into her ear.

“Did you get to see Lauren?” Normani asked, watching the shorter woman trying to calm the girl down.

“I did. Selena had to come get me because Lauren wouldn’t calm down when she started waking up. Which, I don’t blame her,” the older blonde answered, looking at her girlfriends. “I think it pushed her into headspace.”

Normani frowned. “If she was too worked up without you there, why are you here and not with her?”

“They gave her something to help her sleep, and she’ll be out long enough for them to set her wrist and tape her ribs, and then get her settled in a room. By that point we’ll be able to see her.”

“How long will that take?” Dinah asked. 

“Well they took her up about fifteen minutes ago, so I’m going to assume probably another forty-five minutes to an hour,” Ally replied, shrugging.

“Do you need food or coffee?” the younger blonde questioned.

“Coffee that is not stale would be amazing,” Ally groaned. 

The taller blonde chuckled. “Alright I’ll go get you food and coffee.” She handed a backpack to the older woman. “There’s a change of clothes in there in case you want them. Lauren’s Nala is in there, too; Camila thought it might be a good idea to bring it.” She leaned in to murmur so the brunette couldn’t hear. “There’s stuff in there in case Mila slips. She says she won’t, but you never know.”

Ally nodded, kissing the younger woman’s cheek appreciatively. “Thank you,” she replied. “Do you need me to go with you?”

Dinah shook her head. “No, you and Mani stay here. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” the dark skinned woman questioned.

“Yes, I'm sure,” the younger woman answered resolutely. “I’ll be careful, don’t worry.” She looked to Camila. “Do you want anything?” 

“Can I get hot chocolate?” the brunette asked shyly. 

“Sure thing,” Dinah agreed, sending the girl a smile. “Mani, want anything?” 

“Coffee’s fine. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m good, promise,” Dinah replied. She kissed the two women before laying one on the girl’s temple. “Ally said Lauren’s going to be okay, you don’t need to worry anymore,” she said softly, kneeling in front of the brunette, who was still sitting in Ally’s lap. “You don’t have to, but if you need to be little, it’s okay.”

Camila nodded, quickly hugging the blonde before resettling herself in Ally’s lap. 

About thirty minutes later, Dinah returned with the drinks and takeout. She handed each out, giving Camila time to move to her own seat. 

“Thanks, babe,” Ally said gratefully.

“Alright, so, how long do you think it will take Lauren to recover?” the younger blonde asked as she sat down.

The older woman shrugged. “Well, depending on the severity of the fractured ribs, that could be anywhere from a couple of weeks to over a month. Demi said her wrist was a simple break, but that just means it won’t require surgery to install pins or anything,” she explained, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. “That could take as little as a week or two, or up to six to eight weeks, it just depends on how bad the break is. Plus, there’s the amount time afterward to strengthen the ligaments, which could take awhile.”

“So what you’re saying is she might not be able to stay by herself for some time?” Normani questioned. 

Ally shrugged. “I think she could if she stayed in her adult headspace. But I don’t want her staying on her own in case she does slip.”

“I could help her,” Camila interjected, looking at the shorter blonde. “I can be big and help her if she does slip.”

“Yes, but sweetie, what about if  _ you _ need to slip?” Ally reasoned, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of the girl’s face. “It’ll take a toll on you if you don’t get to be little every once in awhile, and if you stay with Lauren all the time you might not get to. It’ll be easier if Lauren stays with us until she’s better.”

The brunette looked at the three shyly. “Can, can I stay, too? I don’t want to stay at the apartment alone when I’m not in headspace.”

“Of course,” Dinah assured, taking the girl’s hand. “It’s not any different than it was before. You can stay with us as often as you want, and when you need a break you can always stay at your apartment.”

Before anything else could be said, Ally spotted Dr. Lovato walking over to them.

“Hey, Demi,” she said as she stood up to face the older woman. “I take it Lauren’s being settled into a room?”

The black haired doctor nodded. “Yep. She’s still out from the meds, but she should wake up soon. She’ll probably be disoriented and confused when she wakes up but that’s normal.”

“And how serious is her wrist?” Normani asked, looking at the doctor questioningly.

“It’s in a splint, so it’ll take a week or two, maybe longer depending on how the recovery goes,” Demi answered.

“Can I see her, please?” Camila asked quietly, anxiously wringing her hands. She needed to see Lauren was okay for herself.

The older doctor smiled, nodding at the girl. “Of course. I’ll take you to her room right now.”

The brunette sighed in relief. She knew in the back of her mind that Lauren was okay. Ally had said so and the doctor had just confirmed it, too. But she wouldn’t be able to settle her fears until she saw her best friend for herself.


	15. Chapter 15

Dinah walked into Camila’s room with the younger girl as Normani was finishing her phone conversation with Ally. 

“Is she okay?” the older woman asked into the phone. She sighed, running a hand over her face. “Okay, we’ll be there in a bit.”

“What’s wrong?” the younger blonde asked, noticing the distressed look on her girlfriend’s face. When the other woman didn’t answer, her heartbeat sped up. “Normani.”

Normani cast a cautious look to Camila. “Mila, I need you to be big right now,” she stated. 

The brunette frowned. “Why, Mommy?”

The dark skinned woman sighed. “Because, I need to tell you something, but I don’t think little Camila could handle it.”

Dinah’s eyes widened. “Normani, what happened?” she asked again, this time more forcefully.

The older woman sighed, looking between the other two. “Lauren was in a car accident.”

“What?!” Camila exclaimed panickedly, looking at Normani. “No, no she’s fine,” she said, pacing slightly. “She texted me right before dinner saying she was almost done with her shift and that she was gonna come over after.”

“How do you know?” Dinah asked, looking at Camila concernedly.

Normani laid a hand on the girl’s shoulder, ceasing her pacing. “Camila, listen. Ally just called me. Lauren was brought into the ER about thirty minute ago,” she explained, looking directly at the girl. “One of the nurses found her card, and saw Ally’s name on it and notified her.”

Camila looked up tearfully. “Is she okay?” When Normani didn’t answer, her face fell. “Normani, please, is she okay?” she begged fearfully.

“I don’t know,” the older woman replied regretfully, pulling the younger girl into her arms. “Ally hasn’t been able to see her yet. The doctors were working to get her stabilized.”

“Is she going to be able to see her soon?” Dinah questioned. “If Lauren’s not good with strangers, she might not stay calm without Ally there.” 

“Lauren was brought in at the end of her shift, so Ally’s waiting to see her,” Normani answered. She looked at Camila. “We’re going to go to the hospital, and hopefully we’ll be able to see Lauren soon. Do you want to be little, Camila?”

The brunette sniffled, wiping away her tears. “No, no, I can’t be little,” she responded quickly. “Lauren, Lauren is hurt and I ca-can’t be little. I have to be big.”

“No, Mila, you can still be little,” Dinah argued, laying her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “You can still be little. The doctors are taking care of Lauren, okay? Ally will make sure of it. If you need to be little you can be.”

Camila shook her head. “No, no, I don’t want to be little,” she stated firmly, slightly stomping her foot. “Can we just go to the hospital, please?” she requested. “I need to see Lauren.”

The blonde nodded. “Okay. Change out of your pajamas and we’ll go,” she replied. 

Camila grabbed clothes from the closet and quickly ran to the bathroom. She returned a minute later, changed into plain jeans and a tshirt. 

“Okay, get your stuff and we’ll go,” Normani said, grabbing a hoodie for the girl.

The brunette grabbed her phone and wallet, then ran out the door.

“Lauren didn’t slip before she got in her car, did she?” Dinah asked quietly.

The older woman shook her head. “No, Ally told me that when the paramedics got there, Lauren was awake and talking like her adult self. Not completely aware but enough to answer basic questions. The accident was caused by some asshole running a redlight.”

Dinah let out a relieved sigh, grateful Lauren wasn’t trying to drive if she had slipped. She looked to the doorway. “Come on. Camila won’t settle down until she knows Lauren is going to be okay.”

\-----------

Lauren was terrified.

There were strange, loud noises around her, and she could hear voices that she couldn’t recognize. She was in excruciating pain, and she no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t open her eyes. They felt heavy, like they were being taped closed, but she couldn’t feel anything keeping them shut. 

She tried to move, but found somebody stopped her. She let out a whimper, struggling to move, but it only made the pain worse.

Suddenly another hand was on her shoulder, and she let out startled cry.

“Little one, can you hear me? I need you to calm down,” an unknown voice said softly from beside her. 

The girl only let out another whimper, still trying to get away from whoever was holding her still. The strange beeping noise was only getting louder, the pain was getting worse, and more voices she didn’t recognize were shouting things she didn’t understand. And, she couldn’t even figure out where she was because she still couldn’t open her eyes.

“Sweetie, I can help you, but I need you to calm down, alright? Just take a few breaths,” the unknown voice spoke soothingly.

Lauren shook her head. She was scared, she hurt, and she just wanted someone she knew, not this stranger. “A-Awwy,” she choked out. “W-wan’ Awwy.”

“Ally? You want Ally, little one?” 

“Wan’ Awwy,” Lauren repeated, her breathing getting more and more frantic.

“Okay, I can get her for you,” the stranger promised. “Sel, go get Ally for me, please.”

This Sel person must have been who was trying to keep her still because Lauren immediately felt someone let her go.

“Alright, sweetie, I need you to calm down now. Ally is coming,” the stranger assured. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

The girl took a few breaths, trying to calm herself. She didn’t like not knowing where she was, and she hated that there were so many strangers around.

A hand grabbed hers and then, finally, a voice she recognized spoke quietly, “Lauren, sweetheart, I’m here. Can you open your eyes for me, baby?”

Lauren’s tense posture relaxed slightly. Ally was here now, she was safe. She took a few deep breaths, and finally she was able to slowly able to open her eyes. Blinking a few times to clear her vision, she looked up to see the older woman’s dark brown eyes looking at her concernedly. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ally whispered, running a hand over the girl’s head. 

“Lauren,” the strange voice called. 

Lauren looked up to see a woman with short, jet black hair standing in front of her. 

“Hi, sweetie. I’m Dr. Lovato, or you can call me Demi. I’m a friend of Ally’s,” the woman said gently, distracting the girl from the nurse inserting an IV in her arm. “Do you know where you are?”

Lauren shook her head, looking around. There were people running around in white coats and scrubs, and when she looked at Ally, the blonde was wearing a top with little teddy bears all over it.

“‘ou ‘ork?” the girl asked hesitantly, looking at Ally.

The older woman nodded. “Yeah, you’re at the hospital sweetheart. Do you remember what happened?”

Lauren frowned, trying to think. “Libwawy,” she replied, knowing she was at work.

“Yeah, you were at the library,” Ally confirmed, squeezing the girl’s hand lightly. “Lauren, sweetheart, you were in a car accident on your way over to our house. Do you remember?” she asked slowly.

The green eyed girl shook her head, trying to remember. She remembered being at the library, and vaguely remembered getting in her car, but the rest was a blank.

“Lauren, Lauren it’s alright,” Dr. Lovato said, seeing the girl’s heart rate speeding up on the monitor. “It’s okay if you don’t remember, no need to get upset. It’s normal.”

“Sweets, you need to calm down. You’re not going to make yourself remember by working yourself up,” Ally said soothingly. 

“Hey, Mendes is ready in ortho,” the nurse from earlier said as she entered the exam room.

“Thanks, Selena,” Demi replied. “Ally, we’re going to give Lauren something to help her sleep through getting her wrist set, and then meds to keep the pain away. Can you keep her calm until they take effect?”

Ally nodded, turning to face the girl. “Hey, sweetheart, look at me,” she encouraged, tapping the girl’s hand. When green eyes met her own, she smiled softly. “I bet you’re scared huh? Being in a strange place,” she said, and the girl nodded. “But it’s okay. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. And DJ, Mani, and Mila will be here soon. Does that sound good?” she asked, seeing Selena inserting a syringe into the girl’s IV.

Lauren nodded, gripping the older woman’s hand tightly. After a few minutes, she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

“Lauren, sweets, it’s okay, you can go to sleep,” Ally encouraged, brushing some of the girl’s hair back. “Stop fighting and go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up, I promise.” Once Lauren was asleep and had been taken out of the room, she turned to Demi. “How bad is she hurt?” 

“We did an ultrasound before she started waking up, and there doesn’t seem to be any internal bleeding. And the CT scan showed a slight break in her left wrist and a couple of fractured ribs,” the older doctor answered, standing next to the blonde. “We did an MRI when she was first brought in, and nothing looked out of the ordinary, but she does have a mild concussion.”

Ally nodded. “And her wrist?”

“It’s a simple break. Mendes is going to set it, along with taping up her ribs. We’ll get her settled in a room on the Peds floor when we’re done.”

The shorter woman’s phone vibrated, and she pulled it out of her pocket, reading the text. “Dinah said they’re in the waiting, I’m going to go update them,” she said. She looked up to the older doctor. “You’ll come tell me when she’s been settled?”

“Of course,” Demi promised, resting a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “Lauren’s going to be fine. She’ll probably be sore and hurt for a while, but she’ll make a full recovery.”

Ally smiled, nodding. “Thanks, Dem. I’m going to go update the others.” 

She made her way out of the exam room and to the waiting room. She had just rounded the corner when a body slammed into her, and immediately she knew who it was. “She’s going to be okay, Camila,” she whispered, running a hand up and down the girl’s back. “Lauren is going to be fine, I promise.”

Camila pulled back sniffling, wiping away tears. “Can I see her?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

“How serious are her injuries?” Dinah prodded, coming to stand next to the two.

Ally led them back to where Normani was sitting, keeping Camila close to her. “She has a mild concussion, and a broken wrist and a couple of fractured ribs,” she explained. “There’s no internal bleeding, which is good. And they took her to get her wrist set and her ribs taped, so once they’re done with that you can see her.”

“But she’s going to be okay?” Camila asked, her face distraught and seemingly on the verge of tears again.

“She’s going to be just fine,” the older blonde promised, pulling the younger girl into her arms, sitting the brunette on her lap. 

The younger girl let out a relieved sob, leaning further into Ally. The older woman ran her hand up and down the girl’s back, whispering assurances into her ear.

“Did you get to see Lauren?” Normani asked, watching the shorter woman trying to calm the girl down.

“I did. Selena had to come get me because Lauren wouldn’t calm down when she started waking up. Which, I don’t blame her,” the older blonde answered, looking at her girlfriends. “I think it pushed her into headspace.”

Normani frowned. “If she was too worked up without you there, why are you here and not with her?”

“They gave her something to help her sleep, and she’ll be out long enough for them to set her wrist and tape her ribs, and then get her settled in a room. By that point we’ll be able to see her.”

“How long will that take?” Dinah asked. 

“Well they took her up about fifteen minutes ago, so I’m going to assume probably another forty-five minutes to an hour,” Ally replied, shrugging.

“Do you need food or coffee?” the younger blonde questioned.

“Coffee that is not stale would be amazing,” Ally groaned. 

The taller blonde chuckled. “Alright I’ll go get you food and coffee.” She handed a backpack to the older woman. “There’s a change of clothes in there in case you want them. Lauren’s Nala is in there, too; Camila thought it might be a good idea to bring it.” She leaned in to murmur so the brunette couldn’t hear. “There’s stuff in there in case Mila slips. She says she won’t, but you never know.”

Ally nodded, kissing the younger woman’s cheek appreciatively. “Thank you,” she replied. “Do you need me to go with you?”

Dinah shook her head. “No, you and Mani stay here. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” the dark skinned woman questioned.

“Yes, I'm sure,” the younger woman answered resolutely. “I’ll be careful, don’t worry.” She looked to Camila. “Do you want anything?” 

“Can I get hot chocolate?” the brunette asked shyly. 

“Sure thing,” Dinah agreed, sending the girl a smile. “Mani, want anything?” 

“Coffee’s fine. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m good, promise,” Dinah replied. She kissed the two women before laying one on the girl’s temple. “Ally said Lauren’s going to be okay, you don’t need to worry anymore,” she said softly, kneeling in front of the brunette, who was still sitting in Ally’s lap. “You don’t have to, but if you need to be little, it’s okay.”

Camila nodded, quickly hugging the blonde before resettling herself in Ally’s lap. 

About thirty minutes later, Dinah returned with the drinks and takeout. She handed each out, giving Camila time to move to her own seat. 

“Thanks, babe,” Ally said gratefully.

“Alright, so, how long do you think it will take Lauren to recover?” the younger blonde asked as she sat down.

The older woman shrugged. “Well, depending on the severity of the fractured ribs, that could be anywhere from a couple of weeks to over a month. Demi said her wrist was a simple break, but that just means it won’t require surgery to install pins or anything,” she explained, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. “That could take as little as a week or two, or up to six to eight weeks, it just depends on how bad the break is. Plus, there’s the amount time afterward to strengthen the ligaments, which could take awhile.”

“So what you’re saying is she might not be able to stay by herself for some time?” Normani questioned. 

Ally shrugged. “I think she could if she stayed in her adult headspace. But I don’t want her staying on her own in case she does slip.”

“I could help her,” Camila interjected, looking at the shorter blonde. “I can be big and help her if she does slip.”

“Yes, but sweetie, what about if  _ you _ need to slip?” Ally reasoned, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of the girl’s face. “It’ll take a toll on you if you don’t get to be little every once in awhile, and if you stay with Lauren all the time you might not get to. It’ll be easier if Lauren stays with us until she’s better.”

The brunette looked at the three shyly. “Can, can I stay, too? I don’t want to stay at the apartment alone when I’m not in headspace.”

“Of course,” Dinah assured, taking the girl’s hand. “It’s not any different than it was before. You can stay with us as often as you want, and when you need a break you can always stay at your apartment.”

Before anything else could be said, Ally spotted Dr. Lovato walking over to them.

“Hey, Demi,” she said as she stood up to face the older woman. “I take it Lauren’s being settled into a room?”

The black haired doctor nodded. “Yep. She’s still out from the meds, but she should wake up soon. She’ll probably be disoriented and confused when she wakes up but that’s normal.”

“And how serious is her wrist?” Normani asked, looking at the doctor questioningly.

“It’s in a splint, so it’ll take a week or two, maybe longer depending on how the recovery goes,” Demi answered.

“Can I see her, please?” Camila asked quietly, anxiously wringing her hands. She needed to see Lauren was okay for herself.

The older doctor smiled, nodding at the girl. “Of course. I’ll take you to her room right now.”

The brunette sighed in relief. She knew in the back of her mind that Lauren was okay. Ally had said so and the doctor had just confirmed it, too. But she wouldn’t be able to settle her fears until she saw her best friend for herself.


	16. Chapter 16

Lauren woke up to wetness in between her legs, and realized she had indeed wet her pull up during the night. And, she had lost her pacifier some time while she was asleep, but the gross feeling was more important at the moment. She squirmed a bit, trying to get the thing off, but was stopped by a voice speaking gently. 

“Lauren, stop. You’re just going to make things worse.”

The girl looked over to see Normani sitting next to the bed, but the others were gone. She frowned, because they were here when she fell asleep. “Awwy?”

“Ally and Dinah took Camila home last night after you fell asleep,” the older woman explained. “They’re going to get breakfast, they’ll be here soon, promise. Do you need a change, bubs?” she asked gently, knowing the answer already.

Lauren nodded, squirming at the uncomfortable feeling of the wet pull up. She didn’t mind the convenience she supposed, but she did not like the cold, sticky feeling it left.

Normani grabbed a new pull up and wipes, and quickly slip the soiled one off. She frowned at how wet it was. Honestly she was surprised it hadn’t leaked at all during the night. Now she understood the girl’s panic about not being able to find the bathroom at night.

Maybe Lauren would need something more durable than a pull up when she finally slipped completely. 

Normani did not want to bring up the idea of the girl using a diaper instead. If Lauren had a slight meltdown over a pull up, then mentioning a diaper would not go over well.

The older woman quickly wiped the girl off before replacing the pull up and disposing of the soiled items. “There you go, bubs. Feel better?”

Lauren nodded. “‘Es, ‘eel good.” She looked around trying to find her pacifier, frowning when she couldn’t. She didn’t want to go back to chewing on Nala, the pacifier was so much better.

Normani noticed the slight distressed look on the green eyed girl’s  face. “What’s up, Lo?”

“No ‘ind paci,” the girl answered, growing more and more upset. 

“Hey, it’s alright, just calm down,” the older woman soothed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “We’ll find it. It probably just got lost in the blanket, alright?” 

They spent the next minute or so searching the bed (really it was just Normani doing the looking) and finally the dark skinned woman triumphantly pulled the lost pacifier out from underneath the blanket.

“Ha, what did I tell you?” she asked teasingly, holding the object out for the younger girl. 

Lauren smiled widely, happy to have her pacifier back. She snatched it from Normani’s hand, happily slipping it into her mouth, sighing contentedly and closing her eyes. She looked back to the older woman, giving the woman a grateful smile, or as best as she could with the pacifier in her mouth. “T’ank ‘ou, ‘ani,” she mumbled around the item.

Normani grinned, Lauren just looked too adorable with the Simba paci and her look of concentration to keep up her rhythmic suckling. “I think we’re going to need to find you a clip so you don’t lose it again. What do you think about that?”

“‘Es, ‘o ‘ant lose ‘gain.”

The older woman chuckled. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want that.”

Dinah opened the door before either could say anything else. “Good morning, you two,” she greeted with a smile, walking over to kiss the older woman then leaning over to press one to Lauren’s temple.

The girl blinked, frowning slightly. The women had been more and more openly affectionate, and she wasn't sure how to feel. Really the only who showed that kind of affection to her was Camila. It sent a warm, fuzzy feeling through her, though. Kind of like when they called her a nickname, which she liked, so she figured it was okay.

Ally entered soon after, Camila following behind, bouncing excitedly on her feet. 

“Lolo!” the younger Latina greeted cheerily. “You feel better?” she asked concernedly, gently sitting on the other side of the bed like she had been instructed before.

The older girl shook her head. She didn’t think she could feel any worse than she did the previous night, but apparently she could. Her head throbbed still, and any time she moved quickly made the room start spinning, and she wanted to throw up when that happened. There was a dull throbbing in her wrist, too, to the point she could feel her pulse in the limb. It was annoying. The worst part, though, was her ribs. It made her entire body ache, and she hated moving because of it. Even just lying still hurt too much.

“We gots brea’fast, wan’ some, Lolo?” the younger brunette asked.

Lauren nodded slightly, trying not to make the world spin. “‘Es, p’ease,” she mumbled from around the pacifier.

Ally set the backpack she had brought on one of the empty chairs, and pulled out a container of apples and peanut butter, small containers of yogurt, and half bagels for both the girls, along with a sippy cup and bottle of juice. She set them on the tray table in front of both girls, and Camila immediately began eating. 

Lauren, on the other hand, was reluctant to eat, because it would require moving, and she didn’t want to cause any more pain.

“Lauren, do you need help?” Normani asked carefully. She didn’t know just how far the girl would let them help her, but clearly the girl was in too much pain to eat on her own.

The older girl sighed, knowing she needed assistance. “‘Elp, p’ease?” she asked quietly.

The dark skinned woman nodded, and gently took the girls pacifier. She sat at the head of the bed, and grabbing the container of yogurt first, held a spoonful out for the girl, close to her mouth. Lauren hesitantly accepted it, and as Normani continued, the girl grew less and less reluctant to accept help. 

“Alright, do you want the apples or the bagel next?” Normani asked the older girl. She cast a glance at Camila to see the brunette shoving apple slices in her mouth, her lips covered in yogurt; that girl was definitely a messy eater. 

“Ap’les,” Lauren answered.

The older woman nodded, and grabbed one, covering it with peanut butter before holding it out for the girl. It went on like that for a few minutes, all five apple slices soon gone. 

“Alright, think you can eat the bagel now?” 

Lauren shrugged. She was still kind of hungry, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted the whole bagel. “All?” she questioned, looking up at the older woman.

Normani looked to her girlfriends, seeking an answer.

“Well, she did eat everything else,” Dinah pointed out, motioning the empty yogurt cup and container of apples. 

“Lauren, how about half the bagel. Think you can manage that?” Ally suggested, moving to start cleaning off Camila’s face.

The raven haired girl nodded slightly, looking back at Normani. “M’ay, ha’f,” she concurred.

Normani tore off small pieces of the bagel, and slowly fed them to Lauren. 

After the fourth piece, the girl shook her, muttering, “‘o ‘ore.”

The dark skinned woman nodded. “Alright. Good job, bubs. Want your juice now?” 

The green eyed girl smiled happily. “‘Es, p’ease.”

Normani frowned when she realized the girl’s cup wasn’t one of the space ones with a straw, but instead was one of the Lion King sippy cups. That might be hard to drink from considering Lauren couldn’t exactly hold it herself.

“Sorry, but the other ones were dirty,” Dinah explained sheepishly. “And Mila was in too much of a hurry to get back after she woke we didn’t have time to do much but make breakfast and grab you a change of clothes. Which are in the backpack, by the way.”

“Well, there’s an empty, clean bottle in the pack,” Ally suggested hesitantly, casting a glance at the green eyed girl. “Maybe we could pour it in there and Mani could hold it for her.”

The younger blonde turned to Lauren. “Is that alright with you, Lo?”

The older girl watched as Camila happily guzzled down her bottle of juice. It didn’t look too bad, if she was honest. In fact, the suckling kind of replicated her pacifier. 

“M’ay,” Lauren agreed, deciding to try. Maybe she would like it after all.

Ally carefully pour the juice into the spare bottle, which was decorated with little blue elephants all over it.

“I knew that would come in handy,” Dinah bragged quietly, earning an eye roll from the older blonde.

Ally handed the bottle to Normani.

The dark skinned woman laid out on the bed, gently pulling Lauren close to her. She held the bottle up in offering, waiting for the girl to accept it.

Lauren hesitantly slipped the nipple of the bottle into her mouth. When the first sip of juice hit the back of her throat, she let out a happy mewling sound, and leaned further into the older woman, closing her eyes in content.

Dinah pumped her fist in celebration. “Ha, that’s the second time I’ve been right about a purchase. Take that, losers,” she jested.

“Mama, no be mean or you get time out. Momma’s rule,” Camila warned from where she was carefully lying next to Lauren.

“Yeah, Dinah Jane, you better watch it,” Normani teased. 

Ally rolled her eyes, but a knock on the door interrupted her reply. She noticed Dr. Lovato motioning for her to step out of the room, and turned back to the others. “I’ll be right. Demi needs to talk.”

Dinah and Normani nodded, the other two girls not paying attention.

“Mama, we watch Moana?” Camila asked, finishing her juice.

The younger blonde took the empty bottle, nodding. “Yeah, let me grab my Ipad and I’ll set it up. Does that sound okay, Lauren?”

The older girl nodded, not really caring. She was more concerned about drinking her bottle and laying on top of Normani. She felt ten times better like this, and the older woman didn’t seem to mind at all (Lauren wouldn’t admit it but Normani’s cuddles were almost as good as Dinah’s. Almost, but not quite the same. She still liked them though.)

They were only ten minutes into the movie when Ally returned, and noticed Lauren fast asleep on top of Normani, contentedly suckling on her pacifier.

“So, what did Dr. Demi want to talk to you about?” Dinah asked as the older woman sat in one of the empty chairs.

Ally shook her head. “You don’t have to put her title in front of her name,” she said.

The younger woman shrugged. “What did she say?”

“That if she passes the tests they want to run later, Lauren can be released tonight.”

“Lolo go home tonight?” Camila asked, sending the older blonde a hopeful look.

“She should be, but the doctor just wants to make sure she’s able to go home without getting hurt more, so we’ll find out later today,” Ally explained gently. 

The brunette nodded, and turned back to the movie. Lauren was okay and would be able to go home soon, that was all she cared about. 

Unfortunately for her mommies, it wasn’t quite as simple as that. 

 


	17. Chapter 17

“Dinah, wake up.”

Dinah felt someone shaking her, but only groaned and turned away, refusing to wake up. It was late, she just wanted to sleep. She hadn’t slept much since the night of Lauren’s accident.

“Dinah, seriously. Wake up.”

The shaking continued, and whoever was trying to wake her up was growing more and more frustrated and the next thing she knew, Dinah was being shoved off the bed.

“What the actual fuck?” The blonde shook off her surprise and confusion and saw Normani standing over her, glaring. “What the fuck, Normani?”

The older woman sighed. “Ally and I have been up for like an hour and a half trying to get Lauren to go back to sleep, but she won’t,” she explained. “We’ve tried to give her another dose of pain meds but she won’t take them. And we’ve tried lying in different positions, but nothing is working. Will you please go try and get her to take her meds and sleep?” she begged, desperation evident in her voice.

Dinah’s eyes widened, and she was up off the floor and out of the room in seconds. She hurried down the hall to Lauren’s bedroom, seeing Ally sitting with the girl.

“Ally, go, I’ll take care of it,” the younger blonde ordered softly, pulling the shorter woman off the bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Go back to bed.”

Ally nodded, kissed both of the others’ cheeks and left the room.

“Alright, Lo, can you please take your medication for me?” Dinah asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You’ll feel a lot better, and hopefully you can sleep the rest of the night.”

Lauren looked up, and the blonde could see the exhaustion on the girl’s face. “You stay?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll stay,” Dinah agreed. She reached for the two tablets and the sippy cup of water on the nightstand, holding them out for Lauren.

The girl look at them skeptically, before reluctantly taking them. Dinah wondered why she refused to take them for Ally and Normani, but put it up to the girl being exhausted and frustrated.

The taller woman set the cup back on the side table, before climbing into the bed under the covers. “Alright, let’s find a comfortable position for you,” she said softly, gingerly helping Lauren move around. 

After a few minutes of movements and adjustments, Dinah was sat straight up on the headboard while Lauren was lying with her back right against the woman’s chest and her head tucked into the woman’s shoulder. It wasn’t the most comfortable for Dinah, but Lauren was asleep in minutes, so she’d deal with it for the night. 

Hopefully things would be better in the morning.

\--------

Things were definitely  _ not _ better in the morning. 

Dinah was overwhelmed. She had slept on and off until about eight, when Lauren woke up and needed her pull up changed. Her back and neck were super sore from sitting against the headboard all night (not that she would say anything because she knew Lauren would worry she was too much of a burden even though she wasn’t), and Lauren was restless and fussy from not being able to get into a comfortable position again.

It had been easier the first couple of days of Lauren being home with them because she was adjusting to new pain meds and they kept her pretty much knocked out the whole time, except for when they woke her up to eat and drink.

Now, though, Lauren’s meds took longer to take effect and now the older girl’s stress and restlessness was beginning to affect Camila. The younger girl couldn’t be calmed because Lauren wouldn’t settle down.

Dinah wasn’t sure how to help the girl as she sat at the table with the older girl in her lap. They had tried lying in the recliner with Lauren’s blanket and Nala, and they didn’t seem to comfort the girl at all (they actually had to put the blanket in the wash because they let her take it to the table and she spilled milk all over it and it needed to be washed). Not even the pacifier was working. What did seem to work was letting Lauren suckle on the blonde’s skin near her collarbone, though it felt a little weird (and kind of hurt because Lauren was slightly biting her but Dinah wasn’t going to stop her). Lauren seemed to be trying to cling closer and closer to her, and kept pulling on her shirt to reveal more skin.

It was only half past noon and Dinah was ready to scream from being overwhelmed.

“Okay, I think I have an idea,” Ally stated as she and Normani cleaned up lunch.

“Oh thank God,” the younger blonde muttered. 

“I’ll take Camila to the playroom and sit with her and watch a movie, and hopefully she’ll take a nap,” the older woman began explaining. “You and Normani take Lauren upstairs and give her a bath. The warm water might help relieve some of the soreness and give more time to let the pain medication start working. Hopefully she’ll calm down enough to fall asleep.”

The taller woman frowned. “Okay, but how are we going to do that when Lauren can’t sit up on her own?”

Ally shrugged. “One of you could hold her up,” she suggested. “I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I just think we need to separate Lauren and Mila for now because Lauren’s stress is making Mila fussy, too.”

Dinah sighed, nodding. “I know, you’re right. We’ll figure it out.”

The taller blonde nodded to Normani, and carefully stood up from her seat, Lauren immediately grabbing a tighter hold of her, a whine slipping out when the girl realized she could no longer suckle on the woman’s collarbone.

They made their way to the upstairs bathroom, Dinah setting the black haired girl on the sink counter. She went to unzip the girl’s hoodie (they had decided that having Lauren wear a shirt would be a lot more of a hassle to get her out of for the time being) when the girl attempted to push her away, shaking her head.

“What’s wrong, bubs?” Normani asked softly, lifting the younger girl’s face to look at her.

“Don’t want help,” Lauren answered, sounding a lot more like her adult self than she had in the last week.

“Lauren, you can’t even sleep on your own without being in pain,” Dinah pointed out gently. “Do you really think you can stand long enough to take a shower?” 

The black haired girl bit her lip and looked away, knowing she couldn’t argue that. “I don’t- you can’t-” she cut herself off with a sigh, clenching her eyes tightly. “You’ll see them,” she whispered, hanging her head.

“See what, sweetheart?” Dinah questioned.

Normani, however, nodded in understanding (and decided not to point out they had all seen them already having to help the girl change). “You don’t want us to see your scars, do you?”

Lauren shook her head. “They, they mean I was bad.”

“No. No,” Dinah proclaimed fiercely, lifting Lauren’s chin to look directly at her. “Lauren, no. You are not bad. You are so good, baby. So good,” she promised, pressing a kiss to the girl’s forehead. “And even if you don’t believe us, we’re going to keep telling you, because you are  _ so good _ , Lauren. You are  _ not _ and  _ never will  _ be bad.”

“You  _ did not _ deserve what happened to you, Lauren,” Normani spoke, and the girl slowly looked up to her. “What you went through as a child should not happen to  _ anyone _ . And, if you’ll let us, we’ll show you what your childhood should have been like.”

Dinah saw something break in Lauren’s defenses, because the girl suddenly broke down in tears, and she pulled the girl into her body. After a few minutes, the girl’s sobs stopped, and the blonde quietly asked, “Do you think you can let us help you now?”

Lauren nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

Normani unzipped the younger one’s hoodie, and gently tugged off her pajama pants, then pulled off the pull up, throwing it into the trash can under the sink. She looked to Dinah, asking, “How are we going to do this?”

Dinah hummed in thought for a moment. “Would it be easier if one of us sat in the tub with her to help support her?”

The older woman nodded. “Okay, I think you should do it.” Noting the younger woman’s confused look, she continued, “Lauren seems to really enjoy cuddling with you, this is kind of like that. Just, you know, in the bathtub.”

The blonde blinked, before nodding slowly. “Alright. Lauren, is that okay with you?” she asked, facing the black haired girl.

Lauren must have been okay with it, because she was trying to attach herself to the taller woman almost immediately.

Dinah chuckled. “Alright, slow down there, eager pants. I can’t exactly get into the tub with clothes on, can I?”

The green eyed girl tilted her head confusedly, before shaking her head. 

Quickly, Dinah took her clothes off as Normani moved to start the water. When the tub was filled enough, Dinah got in first before they carefully helped Lauren in. 

The girl immediately relaxed in the blonde’s arms, sighing contentedly and nuzzling into the woman’s neck.

Dinah rolled her eyes when she felt Lauren had begun to suck on her collarbone once again. “Mani, do you have her pacifier with you?”

The older woman nodded, handing the item over. They both frowned when Lauren declined it.

“Well, looks like you’re stuck,” Normani said amusedly. 

The blonde shrugged. She didn’t mind, if she was honest. Yeah, it kind of hurt if Lauren accidentally bit her, but other than that, it wasn’t uncomfortable. And Lauren seemed to be calm, and she didn’t want to change that. She was slightly startled when something poked her stomach, but smiled when she saw it was just Lauren running her index and middle finger up and down her stomach, and was surprised when the girl ‘walked’ them up near her chest area. 

Normani scooped some water into a cup, and slowly poured it over Lauren, who just turned to nuzzle further into Dinah. “I think we found something else Lauren likes,” she murmured, smiling as she watched the girl trying to press herself as close as possible to the blonde.

“What? Cuddling in the bath?”

“Well, yes, that. But I was thinking more the skin-to-skin contact thing.”

Dinah nodded, thinking it over. She knew that babies really liked the skin on skin contact, so really it shouldn’t be surprising that littles would find it as a source of comfort. 

She was a little puzzled at Lauren’s sudden attachment to sucking on her skin, though. Was that just another form of comfort, or was it a sign of possibly wanting to nurse? 

If it was, Dinah thought she was ready for it. She had had a talk with Dr. Lovato (and Ally, because it was weird and slightly scary and she wanted someone she knew with her) while Lauren was still in the hospital about it. The doctor had wanted to do a check up to make sure the blonde was healthy and able to nurse (if she actually chose to) and that there were no complications, and all of the results had been positive. Demi had also mentioned a possible prescription to help with the hormones needed to make milk, but Dinah politely declined. She didn’t know for sure Lauren wanted this, and even if she did, she wanted it to be a natural process, even if it meant it would take longer.

“Uh, Dinah,” Normani’s voice broke the younger woman from her thoughts. 

She turned to see Normani pointing toward the black haired girl, who had somehow maneuvered herself to the point where she was now lying directly on the blonde’s breast. Which was sort of uncomfortable for Dinah but apparently was perfect for Lauren, because the girl was now basically asleep.

“We should probably actually wash her off, the water is starting to cool off,” Dinah murmured, sitting up.

That caused Lauren to whine and attempt to push Dinah back down.

“No, hey, Lauren, don’t. If you let us was you off, we can go lay down in our bed, alright?” the blonde offered.

The green eyed girl huffed, but nodded. Fifteen minutes later, Normani was lifting the younger girl out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel, holding one out for Dinah as well.

Once Normani had gotten a pull up on the girl, she went to slip on a clean of pajama pants, but Lauren shook her head, shoving her hands away.

“No pants.”

Dinah chuckled, shaking her head. “You heard her, Mani. No pants this time.” 

Normani rolled her eyes, but relented. She carefully picked Lauren up, and the three made their way to the master bedroom.

Dinah went to put on clothes as the older woman set the girl on the bed. 

“What do you want to watch, bubs?” Normani asked, turning on the tv.

The blonde watched as Lauren thought about the question, probably thinking over the shows she’d seen Camila watching.

“Oswald,” Lauren finally decided. She frowned for a moment before looking back up. “P’ease.”

Normani smiled and nodded, looking for the show. 

Dinah finally laid down on the bed, and Lauren immediately attached herself to the taller woman, attempting to get as close as possible. She tugged on the blonde’s shirt, trying to expose as much skin as possible, but apparently it wasn’t enough.

“Dinah, you should probably just take your shirt off. The whole skin-to-skin contact thing, remember?” Normani reminded, watching the two amusedly.

The younger woman nodded and sat up, taking off her shirt and tossing it aside before lying back down, Lauren immediately attaching herself to the woman, suckling on her skin once again. Dinah really didn’t understand why she prefered that to her pacifier, but she wouldn’t question it; if it kept the girl calm, she wasn’t going to make her stop.

“I’m going to go check on Ally and Mila. Do you need anything?” Normani asked, heading for the door.

“If you could bring up a bottle of water for me and juice for Lauren, and her blanket if it’s dry, when you’re done that would be awesome.”

The older woman gave an affirmative nod then left.

Dinah fell asleep not long into the episode of the kids’ show, her energy drained from the morning’s events and not sleeping much the night before. Lauren was still lying peacefully on top of her, and she didn’t expect the girl to get into too much trouble. 

She wasn’t sure how long she was asleep, but when she woke up, she noticed Lauren had moved and was now suckling on her chest, just above her breast. She frowned, not knowing what to do, though she wasn’t able to think long before Normani returned.

“I’ve got the drinks you as- what’s wrong?” the older woman asked, noting the blonde’s pensive look.

“Well, Lauren’s asleep, but she’s managed to start suckling lower on my chest, like right above my breast,” the younger woman answered quietly. “And, while I don’t mind if she actually nurses, I don’t know if I should wake her up and ask. I want her to be comfortable, too. And I don’t want it to seem like I forced her to do it, you know?”

“I think it’s best to just let her do what she’s doing now,” Normani replied, watching the two intently. “Obviously Lauren wants something like that, even if it’s subconsciously in her sleep.”

“That’s why I don’t know if this is okay,” Dinah interjected. “She’s asleep, she probably doesn’t realize what she’s doing.”

“Dinah, it will be fine,” the older woman assured softly. “Don’t overthink it. We can talk to her about it later, but for now just let her do what she’s doing.”

The blonde sighed, but nodded. “Okay, you’re probably right.”

Normani walked over and laid down on the other side of the younger woman. “Everything will be fine.”

Dinah turned slightly, narrowing her eyes. “You’re not going to say anything about being right?”

“Nah, you don’t need that right now. There’s other things I can be right about later.”

The blonde was about to reply when Lauren nuzzled further into her chest, the girl’s eyes opening slowly.

“Hi, squirt. You have a good nap?” Normani asked, smiling down at the green eyed girl.

Lauren nodded, blinking blearily, until she realized the position she was. “No, no, no,” she muttered, shaking her head. She slid off the bed, moving until her back was up against the wall, looking up at the two women. “No, I bad, no, no, no.”

“Lauren, sweetheart, it’s alright,” Dinah assured, standing up. “You didn’t do anything wrong, everything is okay.”

The green eyed girl shook her head, drawing her knees close, her breathing becoming frantic as tears pooled in her eyes. “No, it bad. No ‘lowed. I bad.”

No, Lauren, you are  _ not _ bad,” Normani argued, attempting to get close to the girl. 

“No!” Lauren screamed, quickly scampering out of the room. 

A door was heard slamming shut a few moments later.

The two shared a concerned look.

“You’re okay with her potentially nursing, right?” Normani questioned seriously, knowing that Dinah’s answered determined how they went about talking to Lauren.

The blonde nodded fervently. “Yeah, I’m okay. I want it if Lauren wants it,” she confirmed. “Come on, we need to go talk to her.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

As Dinah and Normani approached Lauren’s bedroom door, Camila came running up the stairs, Ally following behind.

“We heard a door slam shut, and Mila was worried Lauren was upset,” the older woman explained, not bothering to scold the girl for running up the stairs this time.

“Lauren is a little upset about… stuff,” Dinah answered vaguely, giving the shorter blonde a pointed look. “She’s hiding in here.” She motioned to the bedroom door.

Ally raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Alright, how do you guys want to handle this?” 

“I think, Dinah should talk to her alone,” Normani said slowly. “If we’re all in there, it could overwhelm her. And with Lauren, that will probably mean she’ll just shut down and not say anything.”

“Why Lolo sad?” Camila asked, looking confusedly between the three adults. 

“Lauren thinks she did something bad, but she didn’t,” Dinah answered, giving the girl a small smile. “She didn’t do anything bad, but she doesn’t know that. So I need to talk to her alone, to make sure she knows she did nothing bad. Can you go back downstairs with Mommy and Momma?”

The brunette pouted, her shoulders slumping slightly. “I not see Lolo?” she asked quietly.

Normani wrapped the girl in her arms, hugging her reassuringly. “You can in a little bit,” she promised. “Mama just needs to talk with Lauren alone, so that Lauren doesn’t get more upset.”

Camila nodded, leaning into the Normani, before perking up. She looked up at the three with an excited glint in her eyes. “We make Lolo happy?” 

“And how would we do that?” Dinah inquired.

“We get ‘er favowite food.”

Ally looked at the other two women before looking back at the younger girl, smiling widely. “That sounds like a really good idea, baby.”

The younger girl grinned proudly, happy to have come up with the idea all by herself.

“How about the three of us-” Normani motioned to herself, Ally, and Camila “-go and get dinner, and Dinah talks to Lauren?”

Her girlfriends nodded in agreement. Camila just grabbed her hand and tried dragging her towards the stairs, wanting to set her plan to cheer her friend up in motion as soon as possible.

After telling the two women to just get her whatever either of them were getting, Dinah watched them go downstairs before turning back to the bedroom door. 

She tried turning the handle, finding Lauren hadn’t locked the door. Instead of opening the door and walking in, she pressed her ear to the door and called softly, “Lauren? Are you okay?” After receiving no answer, she sighed. “Okay, if you’re not going to answer me, I’m going to come in.”

“Nuh uh,” she heard from the other side. “No come in.”

The blonde shook her head, smiling slightly at the girl’s stubbornness. “Why not?”

“I bad,” Lauren answered quietly, her voice cracking.

Dinah swore she could hear the tears running down the girl’s face. “Lauren, may I please come in?” she requested softly. “I want to talk to you, but it’s really important that I’m in the room with you.”

A few moments of silence, and then a timid, “Otay.”

Dinah slowly opened the door, and scanned the room, finding Lauren with her back pressed against the bed, trying to make herself as small as possible. She walked over and sat next to the black haired girl, moving to cradle the girl in her lap, being gentle with her injuries. “Lauren, it’s alright,” she whispered assuredly when the smaller girl turned to sob into her shoulder. “It’s alright, there’s nothing to be so upset about, little one.”

Lauren just shook her head, refusing to look up as her sobs continued.

The blonde stayed quiet, instead moving to stand up and set Lauren on the bed, letting the girl cry and exhaust herself. She walked out of the room and into the bathroom, finding Lauren’s pain medication. The last dose had probably worn off by now, and there was no way the girl wasn’t hurting after running out of their bedroom. She stopped in the master bedroom, grabbing the untouched sippy cup of juice from earlier, smiling at the fact it was Lauren’s favorite space cup, then walked back into Lauren’s room.

The girl’s sobs had softened, and she was let a sniffling mess. “You not leaved?” 

Dinah could feel her heart tear in two as miserable, yet hopeful green eyes looked up at her. “Of course I didn’t leave,” she stated, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking one of Lauren’s hands. “I’m not leaving, ever. Neither will Ally nor Normani. We want you here, Lauren. We’re not going to abandon you, ever.”

“Even t’ough I bad?”

The blonde sighed, shaking her head. “You are  _ not _ bad, Lauren. You haven’t done anything bad. Why do you think that you did?”

Lauren just shrugged, wincing at the pain the action caused.

“Here, take these, please,” Dinah requested gently, holding out two tablets and the cup of juice. She let out a relieved sigh when the girl took the tablets wordlessly, happy not to have to put up a fight. She took the cup and set it aside, then laid back against the pillows, shifting so Lauren was once again cradled in her lap, mindful of her injured wrist and ribs. “Do you want to tell me why you think you’re bad?”

The black haired girl didn’t answer right away, instead toying with the collar of Dinah’s shirt. Finally, she whispered, “I’m not supposed to want it.” She looked down, avoiding eye contact. “What happened before, I can’t want it.”

Dinah was happy that it appeared she was talking to adult Lauren, but hated the vulnerability in Lauren’s voice. She just wanted to hide the girl away so nothing else could hurt her, but unfortunately that wasn’t possible. “Who said you couldn’t want it?”

The girl just looked up incredulously. “It’s weird and not normal, I’m not supposed to want it. And, and Camila doesn’t want it when she’s little, so I shouldn’t, either.”

“We’re not talking about Camila though,” the blonde countered calmly, tapping Lauren’s back in a slow, gentle pattern. “Camila has things she likes and things she doesn’t. Yes, she doesn’t do it, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t mentioned it.”

“Has she?”

Dinah nodded. “When we were first starting with her, she said it was something she was interested in, but didn’t know if she wanted it for sure. We never pushed her about it, and some time later she told us that the comfort she found in just being held and using a bottle was more than enough for her.”

“Would you have done it if it was something she wanted?” 

The taller woman smiled, running a hand through the girl’s dark hair. “I don’t think I would have been the one to do it,” she answered honestly. “Since the beginning, Camila’s always been a little closer to Normani, so I think that would have been their thing.”

Lauren seemed to take that response into consideration, and the two just sat in silence for a few minutes. 

Eventually, the smaller girl asked, “Is it okay that I want it?”

Dinah nodded fervently, pulling the girl closer. “It is absolutely okay,” she assured. “That wasn’t the first time you’ve shown signs of wanting to nurse, Lauren,” she explained truthfully.

Lauren blushed profusely and hid her face in the the blonde’s neck. “It wasn’t?” she asked, her question slightly muffled.

“No, a few times while you were napping you’ve gripped my shirt and tugged on it like you were trying to find something,” the woman explained softly, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly. “We weren’t one hundred percent sure what it meant, you could have just been doing that in your sleep, but we still looked into it. It’s actually a pretty common thing for littles to want.”

The black haired girl looked up shyly. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm, it provides are really intimate form of comfort that can’t be found in other ways, which some littles want. If this is something you want, then it’s okay. We can make it work.”

“And, and you won’t be mad?”

“No, never. Not for something like this,” Dinah promised. “There will be times we’re disappointed with you or Camila, but we will never be mad or abandon you. You’re not supposed to be perfect, Lauren, and when you make a mistake, we deal with it appropriately, and then all is forgiven. But don’t worry about that right now, we’ll talk about it when the time comes.”

Lauren nodded, and relaxed into Dinah’s hold. “And the others won’t be mad?”

“No, they won’t be mad. They’re okay with this if it’s something you want.”

“We can do it some other time, we don’t have to do it now?”

“No, whenever you think you’re comfortable to try, we can do it then,” Dinah assured, figuring Lauren was no longer in the slight headspace she had slipped into and would probably stay out of it for the rest of the night.

They laid in a peaceful silence for a while, before the door opened and Camila came barreling through the room onto the bed. 

“Hi, Mama, hi, Lolo,” the brunette greeted energetically.

“Hi, Camz.”

“Hiya, baby. I take it you guys brought dinner back?”

Camila nodded excitedly. “Uh huh, we gots pasta, Mama.”

Lauren looked up happily. “Pasta?”

“Mhmm, let go,” the younger girl said, climbing off the bed and looking back at the two expectantly.

Dinah sat up slowly, carefully helping Lauren off the bed, silently asking if the girl was okay to walk. When Lauren nodded, she grabbed the sippy cup from the nightstand and they followed Camila out of the room and downstairs, going extra slow so not to make Lauren hurt anymore than necessary (Dinah had offered to carry her down the stairs but the girl adamantly refused, wanting to do it herself).

They finally made it to the kitchen to see Ally and Normani setting plates of food on the table. Dinah walked over to help, quickly pecking each woman on the lips. 

“Thanks, babes,” she said appreciatively.

“How’d it go with Lauren?” Ally asked, looking to the green eyed girl concernedly.

“I told her it’s perfectly okay if she wants to nurse, and that when she’s ready, we’ll figure it out,” the younger blonde answered, filling Lauren and Camila’s sippy cups with juice. “But, I think it’ll help if you guys both reassured her that it’s okay. I told her you both think it’s okay, but hearing it from you two yourselves might make her believe it.”

“Alright, we’ll talk to her,” Normani agreed, grabbing two plates. She walked over and set one in front of Lauren and the other in front of Camila. “Here you go, cuties.”

“T’anks, Mommy!” Camila replied, happily digging into her alfredo.

Lauren blushed, murmuring a shy, “Thank you,” before beginning to eat her own food, which was chicken ravioli. Or at least she attempted to, finding it a bit difficult when it still hurt to raise her arm so much.

“Do you need help, Lo?” Ally questioned, smiling softly.

The black haired girl looked down, but nodded hesitantly. “P’ease?” 

Dinah smiled to herself as she plated her own food. Lauren was slowly slipping back into her headspace, which was a slight relief to her. She was afraid Lauren would be too uncomfortable after their discussion, and they would be back at step one. If Lauren was slipping now, then all the progress they had made in the last week or so hadn’t been ruined.

Ally took a seat next to the older girl, and slowly started feeding the girl her food. There wasn’t much conversation, just a peaceful quiet as everyone ate. Afterwards, Dinah took Camila to have a bath, the girl’s face was covered in sauce, and Lauren wasn’t much better.

“Maybe you need a bath, too, huh?” Normani teased as she wiped marinara sauce from Lauren’s face. “You weren’t even feeding yourself, how did you make such a mess?”

“Not know,” the green eyed girl replied, looking unapologetic. 

Ally just laughed at the two. “Why don’t you take her to have a bath?” she suggested. “You could wait for Dinah if you need help, or I could help you out.”

The younger woman shook her head. “I think I can do it myself this time around, it won’t be as long as earlier. Plus, Lauren’s in a much better mood, right squirt?” she asked, looking to Lauren, who nodded in agreement.

“Okay, but if you do end up needing help, just call for one of us,” Ally replied, beginning to clean up the table. 

Normani nodded, then carefully lifted Lauren from the chair, walking out of the kitchen to the girl’s room. “Alright, bubs, what do you want to wear to bed?” she asked, sitting the girl on the bed. “Do you want your Lion King pjs?” 

“No pants?” Lauren decided she really liked not wearing pants, and was happy they never put on a new pair after the bath earlier.

“I don’t know, I think maybe you should wear them to bed,” Normani replied. “But, tomorrow if you don’t want to wear pants during the day, you won’t have to,” she bargained, seeing the girl giving her best puppy eyes (honestly the three of them were so screwed now that they had  _ two _ adorable girls with ridiculous puppy dog pouts).

“Pwomise?”

“Promise. Even if Ally says no.” She’d probably get in so much trouble if the older woman heard that.

“Otay,” Lauren replied through giggles.

Normani shook her head, trying to contain her smile. She grabbed the pajamas and a clean pull up, then picked the girl up and carried her to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on the way. Gently setting her on the counter, the older woman quickly unzipped and removed Lauren’s hoodie, and gently pulled her pull up off, noticing it was soaked.

“Lauren, you need to tell us when you use your pull up, alright? We don’t need you getting a rash because you were walking around in a wet pull up for a while.”

“Otay.”

Normani turned to start the water, checking the temperature and shutting it off when the tub was filled to the right amount. She carefully lifted Lauren up and set her down gently in the tub, letting her sit back on the end of the tub. Considering they had given the girl a bath earlier, Normani just quickly rinsed her off, and let Lauren just relax in the warm water for a bit. 

Eventually, she pulled the plug, letting the water drain, and hoisted Lauren out of the tub, wrapping her in the towel. 

The dark skinned woman slipped on the pull up, then slowly helped Lauren into pajamas, the shirt read ‘Hakuna Matata’ and the pants had little prints of Simba, Nala, Timon, and Pumba all over them. Once she had Lauren dressed, she picked her up and carried her down to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Ally, seeing Dinah cuddling with Camila in the recliner (she figured the younger girl was feeling left out since they had been slightly more focused on Lauren so she didn’t mention anything).

“Hi, sweetheart, you all clean now?” the older woman asked as Lauren reached for her, pulling the girl into her lap.

“’es,’ Lauren answered, nodding. She let out a small yawn, leaning further into Ally.

“Tired?” the older blonde asked, smiling amusedly when the girl just shook her head. “Alright, well, if you’re not tired, let’s watch a movie and then go to bed. What do you think about that?”

The green eyed girl nodded, tightening her hold on the shorter woman. 

Normani stood and walked into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a sippy cup of milk and another dose of medicine. “Take this for me, sweet pea, and then I’ll set up the movie.”

Lauren reluctantly took the tablets, swallowing them with a bit of milk. She decided she didn’t want the entire cup of milk though, she didn’t want to be dependent on the pull up to stay dry during the night. Once she no longer needed them, she decided she wasn’t going to use them anymore.

Lauren handed the cup back and nestled into Ally, already starting to fall asleep. She blinked a couple of times, trying to keep herself awake. 

Normani quickly set up the movie, and soon enough the opening scenes of Land Before Time (at Camila’s request) started playing. She sat down on the other side of the couch, and looked over to see Lauren struggling to stay awake. 

She smiled, and leaned back against the arm of the couch. She meant to talk to Lauren about the nursing like Dinah had suggested, but the girl was calm now, and she didn't want to mess that up. It could wait another day or two. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

Lauren woke up the next morning to a sticky, wet feeling around her legs. Now, she was used to feeling a wet pull up sometimes in the morning over the last week and a half, but this was different. This time, the pull up was  _ soaked _ . Like, to the point she was worried it had leaked. She sat up, letting out a small whimper at the sudden movement, and threw her sheet and blankets to the side. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw the pull up hadn’t leaked, it was just  _ extremely _ close to doing so. 

She got off the bed and quietly made her way to the bathroom, trying her best to be as silent as possible so she didn’t wake anyone up. It was a lot harder than she thought, her movements limited and made awkward by the pull up. Finally, though, she made it to the bathroom, and quickly took off her pajama pants, slipping out of the pull up, disposing of it in the trash can under the sink. After cleaning herself up as best as she could, she searched the cabinets, finally finding a new pull up. She really didn’t want to have to wear one, and couldn’t wait until she didn’t have to wear them anymore. Though she would have to even more careful and make sure she went to the bathroom during the night to prevent any accidents from happening.

She cleaned up her mess and washed her hands, then walked out of the bathroom.

“Lauren, you alright, bubs?” Normani asked, startling the girl.

The younger girl looked up, green eyes wide in slight fear. She hadn’t heard any doors opening, how did the older woman know she was out here? 

“‘M fine, went bathroom,” Lauren answered quietly. She wasn’t planning on telling them about the close call she had to wetting the bed (though the women would see the soaked pull up in the trash later).

“Are you ready to go back to bed? It’s still pretty early.” 

The raven haired girl nodded, but looked up to Normani shyly. “You stay?” she asked quietly. She could probably fall asleep by herself, but cuddling sounded better.

Normani smiled, holding out a hand for the younger girl, who took it instantly. “Of course I’ll stay. Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

They walked back to Lauren’s room, and the older woman helped her onto the bed and under the blankets, handing over Nala and her special elephant blankie. Once Normani had gotten under the blankets herself, Lauren laid on top of her chest, nuzzling her face into the woman’s neck.

“T’ank you, Mani,” the girl mumbled, falling asleep soon after.

Normani just smiled and wrapped her arms around the girl tightly, drifting off once again, too.

\----------

About two weeks had passed since that night, and the girls were getting restless, Camila especially. Lauren wasn’t so much because she still couldn’t do much, but the her injuries were getting better and it didn’t hurt her as much to be up and moving around, as long as she didn’t do anything super strenuous. She’d been able to take the splint off of her wrist, which was a great relief to her, though she did have to work on re-strengthening the ligaments in the area.

The girls were in the playroom while the three women cleaned up breakfast.

“So, I was thinking, let’s take the girls to the park or something today,” Ally said as she placed the last of the plates in the dishwasher. “We haven’t spent a lot of time out of the house with them, and it’s obvious Mila needs to get out of the house for more than a grocery run or to pick up dinner.”

“So what are you thinking?” Dinah asked, leaning against the counter. “Just take them to the park and let them run around for a bit?” 

“Yeah, maybe take a small lunch with?” Ally added, looking at the two.

“Yeah, that’ll be fun. And hopefully put them in a better mood,” Normani agreed. “What if we go to the bookstore after, too? Let them get a few books, especially Camila, for being so good the last couple of weeks with everything?”

The other two nodded in agreement. They walked to the playroom, seeing Lauren and Camila laying on the couch, the younger half on top of Lauren, watching Brother Bear. Lauren was also suckling on one of her pacifiers, and that reminded Normani they still needed to buy a clip for it.

“Hey cuties,” Dinah greeted as she sat next to them and paused the movie. “You guys want to do something today?”

The two girls looked up, interests piqued.

“Like wha’, Mama?” Camila asked, looking between the three women.

“Well, we were thinking about going to the park,” Ally informed them, and Camila jumped up off the couch, looking at them excitedly.

“We go to park? P’ease? P’ease?” she pleaded, giving them her best puppy dog eyes.

“Ally she’s pouting, make her stop,” Dinah whined, knowing she’d do anything when the girl gave her that look.

The older blonde rolled her eyes. “Yes, we can go to the park, baby. We were already planning on it,” she explained. “And maybe if you’re on your best behavior while we’re out, we can go to the bookstore afterwards.”

The younger girl bounced excitedly on her feet. “Yay! We go, p’ease?” 

Lauren, on the other hand, looked apprehensive. She fiddled with her pacifier in her hands, looking up at the women nervously. “Now?”

“Well, in a little bit,” Normani replied, sitting next to the girl. “Are you nervous about something, Lauren?”

“It’s a little overwhelming,” the green eyed girl explained honestly. “I haven’t really been out in public as a little before,” she explained, looking down at her lap. “Really, it’s just been the day we went shopping, and even then I wasn’t really in headspace.”

The dark skinned woman nodded, gently taking Lauren’s hand, giving the girl time to move her hand away, which she didn’t. “Do you want to go to the park?” she asked softly. “If you don’t want to, you and I can stay here, and then go to the bookstore later today.”

Lauren sighed, shaking her. “No, I’ll go,” she murmured. “I should get used to being little in public, you know?”

“Okay, but if at any point you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to be in headspace,” Dinah replied. They weren’t going to force her into being little if she wasn’t comfortable with it in public yet, but she was happy Lauren was willing to try.

“Alright so does peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwiches, goldfish, and chocolate chip cookies work for two for lunch?” Ally asked.

“An’ juice, Momma!” Camila added, glaring at the older woman for forgetting.

“Right, sorry, baby.” Ally raised her hands in surrender. “And juice. We can’t forget that.”  

The younger girl nodded, satisfied the juice would not be forgotten. “‘Erry juice, Momma. P’ease,” she requested.

The shorter blonde nodded. “Berry juice it is. Is that alright with you, Lo?” she checked, looking at the older girl, who nodded. “Okay. How about you two finish the movie, and then get dressed and I’ll get lunch ready and then we can go?”

The two girls nodded, and Dinah resumed the movie, and the women left them on their own again.

“Camz?” Lauren called quietly. “Is the park fun?” she asked when the younger girl looked at her. She had spent so much of her childhood attending her dad’s business events and being watched by a nanny that never took her anywhere, she didn’t spend a lot of times at parks. Even when she spent time at Camila’s house they never really left either of their houses.

Camila grinned, nodding her head wildly. “Lots of fun, Lolo! Slides are the bestest. An’ an’ we can build san’ castles an’an’ swings, Lolo! Swings!” she listed off exuberantly. “Can’t play in the water a’cause it’s too cold though,” she added sadly, her mood dampening just a bit, but she perked up with another thought. “But hot chocolate! We can get some.”

The older girl nodded, smiling slightly. Camila was really excited about this outing, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

\--------

Finally, they made it to the park about two hours later. It was a little cold out, so as Camila predicted, they couldn’t play in the water area. But they were still able to play everywhere else. Once they were out of the car (Lauren adamantly refused help climbing out) and in the play area, Camila dragged Lauren over to the slides, deciding that was the best place to start. 

“It’s safe?” the older girl asked warily, sticking her hands in the pocket of her hoodie and eyeing the slide, chewing on her dinosaur necklace nervously. She knew the park was made specifically for littles, so the equipment would have to be sturdy, but she’d never been to one before to know for sure.

The younger girl nodded, climbing to the top of the slide. “I done it lots of times. Pwomise, Lolo. But no c’imbing up slide. Always use steps,” she said, remembering the warning her Mommies had given her. She sat down on the slide and pushed herself forward, speeding to the bottom. She ended up going faster than she thought, and landed roughly on her butt, but just laughed it off, unfazed. “Twy it, Lolo!” 

Lauren nodded, seeing it was indeed sturdy. She carefully climbed up to the top and sat herself on the slide. Seeing Camila nodding encouragingly and giving her a thumbs up, she pushed herself down, although she went at a more controlled speed than the other girl. When she got to the bottom, she looked up at her best friend and grinned. “‘Gain?”

The brunette cheered, and grabbed Lauren’s hand and dragged her to back to the ladder. They spent about fifteen minutes taking turns on the slide before Camila decided she was hungry.

They made their way over to where the women were lying on the blanket they had brought.

“Momma, we haf lunch?” the younger girl asked, plopping down next to Ally.

“Sure, baby. Do you want your food now, too, Lo?” the older woman questioned, grabbing the bag with their food.

Lauren nodded, and sat down next to Normani, a lot more carefully than Camila. “‘Es, p’ease.” She started chewing on her necklace while she waited.

Ally nodded, and pulled out two tupperware lunch kits. She pulled the lids off before handing one to both of the girls. Dinah reached into the bag and pulled out two sippy cups of juice, handing them to the girls, then pulling out the containers of food for the rest of them, handing one to Normani and the other to Ally. 

Lauren and Camila happily munched on their sandwiches, goldfish, and cookies as the women ate their own. 

Camila had drained her sippy of juice within minutes, and looked to see Lauren had left hers untouched. “Lolo, I haf you juice?” she asked.

The older girl shook her head. “Nuh uh, I wan’ it,” she replied quietly, continuing to eat her cookie.

The brunette looked at her confusedly, a slight frown on her face. “But you not drinkin’ it.”

Lauren nodded. “For later.”

Camila pouted, reaching for the cup. 

The older girl whined, reaching for her cup. “Camz, no. It mine.”

“But wan’ more, Lolo. You not drinking it.”

“Camila, that’s Lauren’s cup,” Normani scolded, taking the cup from the younger girl and giving it back to Lauren. “If you wanted more, you should have asked one of us. Momma packed another sippy.” She pulled out the spare sippy cup. “What do you say to Lauren?”

The smaller girl looked to Lauren apologetically. “‘M sowwy for takin’ you sippy, Lolo,” she mumbled sadly.

Lauren nodded, hugging the younger girl. “It okay, Camz.”

Normani smiled and handed the younger girl the cup, and Camila happily accepted it. Once the two had finished their lunch and Lauren drank all of her juice, they laid down for a few minutes, letting their tummies settle.

After about ten minutes, Camila sat up and pulled Lauren over to the sandpit. She tried getting Lauren to help her build a castle and moat, but the older girl kept looking wistfully over to the swingset. The younger girl decided the sand castles could wait for a different day (the water was kinda cold and she didn’t want to spill cold water all over herself, because that was bound to happen). 

“Wan’ to go to swings, Lolo?” 

Lauren blinked, then looked at Camila. Smiling shyly, she replied, “P’ease?”

“Come on,” the smaller girl said, standing up. The two ran over to swingset, and she turned to her friend. “Know how?” 

Lauren shrugged, she didn’t think it could be that hard.

Camila nodded, and sat on one of the swings, deciding to explain anyway. “Jus’ sit and kick legs, like this.” She kicked her legs forward, then back, and started building momentum. Once she got going, she looked to Lauren, who nodded in understanding. 

The older girl sat on one of the other swings, and followed Camila’s instructions. Soon, she was swinging almost as high as the swing would allow her, and she grinned, eyes bright with elation.

She knew she didn’t have a normal childhood, she had the physical scars to prove that, but she didn’t realize just  _ how much _ she missed out on. If this simple trip to a park could make her happy, what else did she miss out on as a kid that would have made her child self so ecstatic? 

Thinking about everything, she realized that maybe Normani had been right when the woman had said that they could show her what her childhood should have been like. Maybe there was a specific reason her test results had deemed her a little, and it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

“Lolo! Let go get hot chocolate,” Camila said, slowing down and hopping off the swing. 

Lauren nodded, broken from her thoughts, and slowed down, getting off the swing. 

They walked back over to the women, and Dinah looked up as they approached. 

“What’s up, squirts?” 

“We get hot chocolate, Mama?” the younger girl asked. 

“Can-can I buy it?” Lauren questioned shyly. “It’s just- you guys have done so much, and, and I know I’ve been difficult with everything, and I don’t know how to thank you guys for being patient, but I thought-”

“Lauren, baby, take a breath,” Dinah interrupted the girl’s rambling, moving to kneel in front of her, taking one of her hands. “You don’t need to thank us for anything,” she stated, brushing back a few strands of hair that were hanging in the girl’s face. “We want to help you, we’ve told you this. We’re doing this because we want to, and we love it.”

“And you’re not difficult,” Normani added, the girl looking over to her. “You’re not difficult. It’s just a much bigger adjustment for you than it was for Camila.”

“We know it’s going to take time for you to fully be little, and that’s okay,” Ally promised. “We’re not going to rush anything. You need to be comfortable enough to fully slip, and we’re going to give you that time. Obviously we’re going to try different things to help you along, like your blanket and pacifier, and your necklace,” she motioned to the necklace Lauren was suckling, “and coming here today. We want to find what you like and what makes comfortable. When you think about it, you’ve come a long way from when we first met,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, when you first came over you were not very open to affection,” Dinah added smiling softly. “But now look, you refuse to take a nap unless you’re cuddling with me.”

The green eyed girl blushed profusely. “I don’t need to do it all the time,” she mumbled, embarrassed. 

“So when we get back to the house and you go to take a nap, you’ll do so without cuddling?”

Lauren looked away, not able to answer positively. 

“The point is,” Ally interjected, getting them back on track. “You’re not being difficult, Lauren. We just have to find what works for you and what doesn’t. Because you’re not going to like everything Camila likes, and vice versa. Which is fine, we just need to figure out what you like and don’t like.”

“It’s going to take time, but we have all the time you need,” Normani promised.

Lauren nodded, blinking back a few tears. The three were so good to her, she was so glad they wanted to be her caretakers, too. Maybe one day they could also be her mommies, like they were to Camila. She’d have to ask, but she didn’t think she was ready for that just yet. 

“So, you two still want to get hot chocolate?” Dinah asked. “And then if you’re ready, we’ll go to the bookstore, and then back to the house?”

The girls nodded, and Normani and Ally agreed to pack everything up and take it the car while Dinah took them to the hot chocolate vendor, as long as the younger woman got them coffee, too.

“What can I get for you guys today?” the vendor asked as the three approached the vendor’s truck.

“Three coffees and two hot chocolates, please,” Dinah requested.

“Mama, we get extwa whip cweam?” Camila asked quietly.

“Extra whipped cream on the hot chocolates, if possible,” the blonde added. The girls had been really good today, aside from the slight argument over Lauren’s sippy cup.

The vendor nodded, smiling. “You got it.” He moved to prepare the drinks, returning a few minutes with three cups in a cardboard tray, and two out of it. “Eight dollars, please.”

Dinah nodded, and handed over a five and three ones. She carefully handed the hot chocolate to the girls before grabbing the tray with the coffees. “Thank you. Have a good day,” she said, giving the man a smile. 

“T’ank you,” the girls said.

The man smiled widely. “Thank you. Enjoy the drinks and have a good day.”

The three made their way to the car, Lauren and Camila sipping on their drinks. Dinah was thankful there were lids on the cups because Camila was already making a mess with hers, some of the liquid dribbling down her chin.

When they got to the car and she had handed out the coffees, the younger blonde grabbed a few napkins from the bag with their stuff and wiped off the girl’s face. “Alright, let’s put those in the cupholders until we get to the bookstore. We don’t want to spill them, do we?”

The girls shook their heads, and let the woman set them in the cupholders without argument, though Camila did pout a little bit. 

After the girls were buckled in (Lauren actually let Normani help her this time around), Dinah climbed into the driver’s seat. “So the bookstore and then back to the house for a nap for the little ones?” she asked, seeing it was just going noon. She was glad they had gone to the park mid-morning, the girls could still have naps when by the time they got back to the house.

Ally and Normani nodded in agreement, and Dinah turned the car on, and pulled out of the parking lot.

\----------

About an hour later, the bookstore trip over, the five were finally back at the house. The women had let the girls choose three books each. Camila had eagerly searched through the kids’ section, finally deciding on  _ Llama Llama Red Pajama _ ,  _ Goodnight Moon _ , and a National Geographic kids’ book on dinosaurs as her three choices. 

Lauren, on the other hand, was more a little more hesitant to look through the kids’ section, not used to being so open about being little in public. After many reassurances that it was perfectly okay to be little if she wanted to and look through the kids’ books, a majority of stores were little-friendly since they were so well known, Lauren joined Camila in looking for books. After a while, she settled for a book of facts on lions, a National Geographic kids book about space and the solar system, and  _ The Lion King _ as her three choices.

Now they were back at the house, and Lauren went up to her room to put her books away. After changing into more comfortable clothing for sleeping and a quick pull up change (now that she was able to do more things on her own she refused to allow the women to help her), she grabbed her blanket, her astronaut pacifier (Normani had ordered a couple of clips so Lauren wouldn’t lose them), and her  _ Lion King  _ book and walked downstairs.

Hesitantly walking over to where Dinah was sitting on the recliner, she held the book out and shyly asked, “Read, p’ease?” 

Dinah grinned, nodding. “Come here, sweet cheeks,” she agreed, helping Lauren get settled in the chair with her. 

“Mama, I wanna cuddle, too,” Camila said, pouting. 

“Well then why don’t we go up to my room, Mommies’ bed has lots of room,” the blonde suggested. She looked down at Lauren. “Is that alright with you, Lo?”

Lauren nodded before a yawn escaped. She just wanted Dinah to read her the story and then sleep. She crawled off the recliner, allowing Dinah to get up. The taller woman led the two upstairs to the master bedroom, and Camila immediately clambered up onto the bed. 

“Lolo cuddle wif me,” she demanded. “Um, p’ease?” she added in a softer tone.

The older girl just climbed up onto the bed and laid down next to the brunette, who immediately snuggled into her side. She slipped the pacifier into her mouth, immediately starting to suckle on it, her posture relaxing a little more. Her dinosaur necklace was great to chew on, but nothing could replace her paci in her opinion.

Dinah watched the two for a moment, smiling at the sight. Finally, she laid down next to Lauren, and took the offered book. She opened it to the first page and started reading.

“From the smallest ant to the largest elephant, every living thing has a place in the great Circle of Life…”

She continued on for about six pages, before she looked over to see both girls had fallen asleep. Camila was lying over Lauren, her head resting on the older girl’s chest, and Lauren’s arms were wrapped around the smaller girl’s waist. 

Dinah smiled softly and stood up, tucking the girls under their blankets. She kissed both their temples before walking over to turn the light off and, leaving the door open, made her way back down to the living room.

This day was a success in her book.

  
  



	20. Chapter 20

Lauren  _ knew _ that things were going to well to for it all to work out. Ally, Normani, and Dinah were honestly the best caregivers she could ever ask for (not that she asked for them, which is why Lauren is so upset it’s falling apart - or at least she thinks it’s falling apart). They were so nice and patient with her, even though she knows she’s being so difficult, though the three women would be quick to disagree with that she’s sure. They were so generous, too, especially Dinah. Buying her all kinds of things for when she’s in whatever headspace she’s developed so far.

Especially her blanket. That’s her favorite item. If she was allowed to keep only one thing from all the purchases they made for her, it would be her elephant blankie (it would be really hard to choose between that and her paci, but the blankie would win out. Just slightly though).

And, okay, even after the car accident things had been going well, but apparently they were going  _ too well _ because now it’s all falling apart in a way Lauren would have never guessed.

She didn’t think it Camila would be the reason she was now hiding in her apartment, away from the others. Maybe she should have grabbed her phone before running out of the house in tears, she would bet Normani, Dinah, and Ally, and she really hoped Camila, would be worried about her.

Everything was going so well, until it wasn’t.

\---------

It started at breakfast about a week after the trip to the park. 

Lauren was peacefully eating her cheerios when Normani came into the kitchen with Camila in her arms, the brunette still fighting to wake up. After setting a bowl of Lucky Charms on the tray of the smaller girl’s high chair, Normani made a cup of coffee and went to take her normal seat in between the two girls.

“No, Mommy,” Camila stated, glaring at the dark skinned woman. “No sit there. Here.” She pointed to the seat on the other side of her, away from Lauren.

Normani frowned, looking between the two girls. “I normally sit here, though, baby,” she reasoned, pointing to the seat she planned to sit in. “Why don’t I just sit there?”

Camila just rolled her eyes, and angrily began shoving spoonfuls of cereal into her mouth.

Lauren shot a confused look over to the older woman, but Normani only shrugged. The older girl just went back to eating her own cereal, but there was a small part of her that was nervous about Camila’s attitude so far this morning.

She didn’t expect it to get worse.

\-------------

The next incident was just after lunch, when Lauren went to cuddle with Dinah in the recliner like normal before taking a nap. 

Camila had been ignoring her all morning (that should have been the biggest clue something was wrong, really), and anytime one of the women would try to include the older girl in whatever Camila was playing, the younger girl refused to play with Lauren.

Now though, the older girl was just getting comfortable with Dinah, curled up in her blanket, nuzzled into the taller woman’s chest, when Camila stormed into the living room.

“No, Mama!” the younger girl yelled, giving the two a dirty look. “No sit wif Lolo!”

Dinah frowned, puzzled at Camila’s sudden change in behavior. “Mila, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Yous can’t sit wif Lolo!”

“Why not? Lolo and I always cuddle before she naps, remember?” 

“No, yous my Mama, no Lolo’s,” Camila stated, crossing her arms across her chest and stomping her foot slightly.

Lauren whimpered, turning to hide her face into Dinah’s chest. That had actually hurt. She knew the women had been paying slightly more attention to her since the accident, but she didn’t think it was  _ that _ much. And, yeah, maybe she didn’t call them her mommies like her friend, but she thought she was getting close to possibly maybe wanting to call them that. 

Now, though, it sounded like Camila didn’t want her to, and that stung. She thought Camila was okay with this. Camila was the one who asked if Lauren wanted to meet her caregivers. Was she no longer okay with the women being Lauren’s caregivers, too?

Desperately trying to fight back tears, Lauren climbed out of the recliner and clumsily clambered up the stairs, leaving Dinah and Camila behind.

Later, she’d find out Camila was put in timeout for saying what she did but at the moment, Lauren just curled up on her bed and cried herself into a fitful sleep.

But still, that wasn’t even the worse part.

\----------

It was about an hour after Lauren woke up from a nap that left her even more exhausted than she was before. She was in the playroom building a small city with the Duplos that were in buckets on the shelves. She had just finished another house (really just a tower, but it was a house to her) when suddenly all of her buildings were smashed apart.

She jumped back, startled by the sudden action, and looked up to see a furious Camila staring at her. “‘Amz?” she asked quietly, afraid to make the younger girl even madder. 

“I no wan’ you ‘ere no more,” Camila stated firmly, kicking away a few more blocks. “Dey my mommies, not yours.”

Lauren could feel tears pooling in her eyes as she looked up and pleadingly whispered, “Camz.”

“Nuh uh. Go ‘way. Leave.” The brunette pointed to the door. “I not like Lolo no more. Leave fo’e’er.”

Lauren visibly recoiled at the words, tears streaming down her cheeks as she backed away from the younger girl, her back hitting a wall and brought her knees to her chest.

Camila seemed to have realized what she had said, her dark brown eyes widening and her jaw dropping slightly. “No, Lauren,” she whispered softly, reaching out to touch the older girl’s shoulder. “I-I didn’t-”

Lauren shook her head fervently, flinching at the younger girl’s attempt in comfort. “No, no.” 

She couldn’t believe what she had heard. There was a rational part that knew it had to be little Camila that said those things, but it was the fact that it was  _ Camila _ , her best friend, one of only a few people that actually loved her (and maybe there was a bit of a different kind of love on Lauren’s part - not that she would admit it) and  _ promised _ to always be there for her, that said it that made it hurt so much. 

Sparing a glance at the other girl, she could tell Camila looked devastated by what she had said, but Lauren couldn’t make herself speak. All of her thoughts were too jumbled, the only thing she could focus on was that her Camz had said Lauren needed to leave forever. They were both crying now, but Lauren couldn’t think, and it was beginning to get harder to breathe. Her breaths were starting to come in shorter and shorter, and her lungs burned from not getting enough air.

The only thing she could think to do to help was run. She scrambled up from the floor and out of the playroom. When she passed the living room, she could faintly hear Normani and Ally call for her, but didn’t stop. Instead, she ran out the front door, and didn’t stop running until she made it to her and Camila’s apartment. She didn’t know how long it took to get there, it could have been days, it could have been five minutes.

Through teary eyes and trying to fight back a sob, she searched through the pockets of her jeans for her key, before realizing she had left all of her stuff at the house. A sob ripped it’s way from her throat, and she slammed her back against the wall before sliding down to the floor, hiding her in her knees. She knew it was too good to be true. She knew things were going to well and that something was bound to go wrong.

“Lauren?” a soft voice called.

Sniffling, Lauren looked up to see bright blue eyes concernedly checking her over. It was her neighbor, and if the girl hadn’t been as little as she was, she probably could have focused enough to remember the woman’s name.

“What are you doing out here, sweetie?”

The green eyed girl sniffled, gesturing wildly to her apartment door. “Not haf ‘ey,” she answered vaguely. 

The woman’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ shape as she realized the girl sniffling in front of her was in headspace. “Do you want me to get the key I have for you?”

Lauren frowned, puzzled. Tilting her head to the side, she asked, “You haf my ‘ey?”

The red-haired woman smiled softly. “Yeah, I have a spare key. You and Camila asked if Anna and I could keep it safe, remember?”

Lauren’s green eyes widened as she remembered who she was talking to. It was Brittany, the really nice woman from across the hall. She and Camila had asked Brittany and her wife to hold onto their spare key, because Brittany was a police officer and the two were really nice to them, especially when Camila sometimes came home in headspace after work or when she came home from Dinah, Normani, and Ally’s house.

“M’ay, you get ‘ey, p’ease?” the girl questioned quietly, shyly looking up at the older woman.

Brittany smiled, nodding. “Alright, give me one second.” She disappeared into her apartment, and Lauren didn’t quite understand why she had said one second because it definitely took more than one second for the woman to appear. When she did, she had the spare key in hand, and her cell phone. “Alright, let’s get you inside. Maybe I can call someone for you?” she suggested as she opened Lauren’s door, leading the girl inside. “I don’t want to leave you on your own if you’re little.”

Lauren frowned, knowing she had left her phone and wallet with the card with emergency contact numbers on it at the house, and she was too little to remember any phone numbers off hand. “No know phone num’ers.”

“That’s alright,” Brittany assured. “I have Camila’s number, would it be okay to call her?”

The girl blinked, confused for a moment. Then she remembered, not only had they given the couple a spare key, but they also gave them their cell phone numbers in case of emergency (and with Camila’s clumsiness and tendency to lose her apartment key, they came in handy on multiple occasions).

But did Lauren really want to talk to Camila? That was the whole point in coming here, was to get away from the younger girl so she could think. She knew that there was a very slim chance big (or little, for that matter) Camila actually meant what she said, but Lauren needed to get away and think.

Finally though, she nodded. “M’ay, call Camz.”

Brittany nodded, and after finding Camila’s contact, dialled the number. “Hey, Camila, it’s Brittany Kendrick,” she said after a moment, pausing as she listened to who Lauren assumed was Camila replied. “No, she’s here at the apartment. She’s fine, I promise.” Again, she paused and listened to a reply. “Yes, I will stay with her until you get here.” Another reply, and then Brittany said, “We’ll see you soon,” and hung up.

Sitting on the couch next to Lauren, the older woman stated, “Camila will be here in about fifteen minutes. But,” she paused, lifting Lauren’s chin so the girl was looking at her. “She told me you ran away from your caregivers’ house while you were still little. You know that’s dangerous, right?” she asked sternly.

Lauren nodded, looking down ashamedly. “‘Es, is bad.”

“It is bad. Camila and your caregivers were worried about you,” Brittany explained, her stern look softening. “You could have gotten hurt, Lauren.”

The girl nodded, still looking down. She knew it was wrong to just run, but she needed to get away. She just hoped Dinah, Normani, and Ally wouldn’t be too upset with her.

“Alright, I’m going to stay here with you until Camila gets here, is that alright?”

Lauren nodded, whispering a small, “‘es.”

Brittany smiled, squeezing the girl’s shoulder slightly. “Awesome. Because Anna’s locked herself away trying to master some dumb cup song she found on the internet,” she replied, earning a small giggle from the green eyed girl. 

About fifteen minutes later, the door burst open and Camila came barreling through the threshold. After fiercely thanking Brittany for helping Lauren and seeing the older woman out, the younger girl turned and tackled Lauren into a tight, koala like hug that only Camila could manage.

“I’m so so so so fucking sorry, Lauren,” the brunette sobbed out, and she knew it was a crappy apology but she just needed to get it out. “I know that doesn’t make up for it, but I never should have said those things. Fuck, I didn’t mean any of them.” 

Lauren hesitantly wrapped her arms around Camila, subconsciously melting into the familiar, comforting embrace. “It’s not even what you said,” she replied. “Yes, it hurt, but the fact that they came from  _ you _ , hurt the most. You’re the one person who wasn’t supposed to leave me, and yet you said you wanted me gone forever,” she explained, and she couldn’t help the fresh set of tears that fell down her cheeks.

Camila sat up, wiping away the older girl’s tears. “Fuck, I know. I fucked up so badly. And no apology could ever make it better,” she responded, shamefully avoiding Lauren’s eyes. “And this is such a shitty excuse, but little me was jealous,” she continued. “I was super excited for you to have Dinah, Normani, and Ally as your caretakers, because then you’d be around and I could help you see that being little isn’t such a bad thing. And then you were in that car accident, and instead of only coming around a few days a week, you were there every day.”

Lauren went to interject, but Camila shook her head, cutting her off.

“And I know it wasn’t your fault, and that I was there every day, too. But little me didn’t expect it to happen so soon, and they were giving you so much attention, because you needed help, and I  _ know that _ , but I got jealous and, fuck, this is such a shitty excuse and I know it but I-”

“Camila,” Lauren finally interjected, cutting off the younger girl’s rambling. 

The brunette sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t want you to leave, ever. And I am never going to leave you, either. I love you too much to do that. And, if you want Normani, Ally, and Dinah to be your mommies, too, that’s perfectly okay with me.”

Lauren sat quietly, contemplating the other girl’s words. “I think, I think we need a break.”

Camila sat up, giving the older girl a confused look. “What?”

“Neither of us have stayed here in the apartment in almost two months,” Lauren answered calmly. Now that she was out of her slight headspace, she could actually think through all of her thoughts. “And I think it’d be a good idea to maybe not stay at the house for a few days, and it just be us, not in headspace.” She looked at the younger girl sadly. “Because, even though I know you didn’t mean it, what you said still hurt, and I think the two of us need a break from each other in headspace.”

“Um, okay, but Dinah, Normani, and Ally are going to want you to come back to the house so they know you’re okay,” Camila replied. “And also, there might be a slight punishment for the both of us. Me for saying what I did, and you for running out of the house in headspace and not explaining where you were going.”

Lauren looked up fearfully, whispering, “Th-they won’t, hit me, right?”

Camila frantically shook her head. “No, god no, Lauren. They wouldn’t think of ever doing that,” she promised, pulling the older girl into another hug. “They know that spanking is off limits for you. And they wouldn’t just hit you. No, never.”

The green eyed girl nodded, sighing in relief. “Okay, I guess we should go back and face whatever punishment it is that they’re going to give us?” she asked hesitantly, looking to Camila for agreement.

The younger girl nodded. “Let’s go.”

\----------

“Goddamnit, Lauren,  _ do not _ scare us like that  _ ever _ again,” was the only thing Lauren heard before she was pulled into a really tight hug.

Looking up, she saw Normani’s incredibly relieved looking over her. “‘M sow’y, Mani,” she mumbled, feeling herself slip back into headspace at the woman’s concerned look.

Dinah pulled the green eyed girl into another hug. “We know you are, Lauren, but you can’t do that again,” she scolded. “You could have gotten hurt. We were so worried about you.”

Lauren nodded, tears flooding her eyes and she sagged into the taller blonde. 

Ally joined the hug, but knew she was going to have to be the bad guy. “Lauren, I know we’ve never really discussed rules like this, and we’re going to be doing that tomorrow. But you’re still going to get a timeout, but it won’t be as long because we don’t have many rules set up.”

Lauren nodded, not even trying to argue. She knew it was wrong to leave the house like she did, even without having any rules. But, she was glad there would be an official list of rules made, because then she could know what she could and couldn’t do, and what punishments were allowed and which were not.

“Okay, now, you’re going to stand over here,” Ally said, gently guiding Lauren over to a corner of the living room. “Now, there’s two different reasons you could be put in a corner. One is if you’ve earned a timeout, whether by multiple little misbehaviors or a major one like running off like you did today,” she explained. “The second reason is if you’re really upset and need to calm down. That one  _ is not _ a punishment, and as soon as you’re calmed down you’re allowed out, okay?” she asked, looking the girl in the eyes. 

Lauren nodded, and the older blonde smiled. “Okay, we’ll go over it again tomorrow when we talk about the rules. But for now, you have to stand here and face the wall for six minutes, and think about why it’s wrong to run off when you’re little. Camila is going to do the same but think about why it was wrong to say what she did.”

The green eyed girl shifted on her feet, looking up hesitantly. “You not leave?” she questioned quietly.

“No, we’ll be right here on the couch, alright?”

Lauren nodded, and turned to face the wall like Ally instructed. Six minutes wasn’t really that long, but only being able to stare at a wall made them feel agonizingly slow. Lauren really hoped she would never have to get another timeout again (doubtful, but she’d try).

Finally, a timer went off, and Ally said, “Alright you two, come here.”

The older girl was confused, before she turned to see Camila run over to the couch with the three women and throw herself onto them, but mostly on top of Normani, who hugged the girl tightly and patted her back softly.

Cautiously, Lauren walked over to the couch, where she was immediately pulled onto Dinah’s lap. She wrapped her arms around the taller blonde, and nuzzled her face into Dinah’s neck.

“You did a really good job taking your timeout, baby,” Ally soothed, running her hand through Lauren’s hair. “It’s over now, and all is forgiven. But you know not to run off when you’re in headspace, right?”

Lauren nodded, but didn’t verbally reply, opting to nuzzle even further into Dinah instead.

“Now, how about we figure out what to do for dinner and pick a movie to watch?” Normani suggested, still hugging Camila tightly. “And then an early bedtime for the two little ones?”

Lauren wanted to argue, but laying there with Dinah made her realize just how exhausted she was. And as Camila tried to make an argument for having pizza for dinner, she noticed that even when she had done something really bad, the women still made her feel safe and loved. 

She and Camila had things to work out and there were rules to be set (not to mention she still was trying to figure out if she  _ really _ wanted to maybe possibly nurse like Dinah had suggested she might), but that massive feeling of trepidation that she had from the moment she had received her test determination seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.

Right now, though, she just wanted to focus on helping Camila win the argument for having pizza for dinner. That was a pretty important argument to win in her opinion.

  
  



	21. Chapter 21

Lauren didn’t remember going to bed on her own the night before. Really, the last thing she remembered was Normani helping her take a bath (that had become their thing, like Dinah and Camila). She could feel heat rising in her cheeks at the thought of falling asleep in the middle of bathtime, but she was exhausted after the events of the previous day.

And, okay, the rational part of her mind knows that Camila didn’t mean it, and that really there wasn’t a lot of time for little Mila to adjust to Lauren being around 24/7, but still, it hurt. Eventually, she could get past it, but she still stood by her opinion that her and Camila needed a break from each other in headspace, and maybe it would be a good idea to spend a few days at their apartment or go out together out of headspace and talk about things. 

It was still early though, the sun wasn’t even up, and Lauren spied her pacifier on the nightstand in the faint glow of the nightlight, and, really, who said she had to deal with all of her problems right this moment? She and Camila planned to spend the weekend at their apartment, and that was a few days away yet. Right now, she didn’t see any reason why she couldn’t suckle on her paci and sleep a little bit longer. She reached over to grab the pacifier when she saw something fall off the bed from her peripheral vision. Curious, because it wasn’t Nala, she was still sitting on the bed, the green eyed girl leaned over the edge of the bed, her eyes widening when she saw Mr. Lamb, Camila’s (poorly named but Lauren would never tell her that) stuffed lamb laying on the floor.

What was Camila’s favorite stuffie doing in her room? The younger girl never went to bed without him, so what was he doing here?

Lauren rubbed the ear of the toy between her fingers, smiling to herself. She wasn’t quite sure what Camila’s motivation behind this was, but she thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

She remembered her intention to grab her pacifier, grinning when she saw it was the glow in the dark one with a spaceship. She had lost some of her other pacifiers (which totally wasn’t her fault, they just disappeared, okay?), but was happy this was one of the ones she hadn’t lost yet. Popping the pacifier into her mouth, she immediately found a good suckling rhythm. Burrowing into the blankets and hugging both Nala and Mr.Lamb to her chest, she slipped back into sleep within a few moments, comforted by the warmth of her blankets, the soothing rhythm of her suckling, and the two stuffies she was clutching tightly.

She never even noticed she needed a new pull up.

\-------------

A few hours later and the sunlight slipping through the window shades brought Lauren out of her sleep. She tried hiding under the blankets to block out the light, not quite wanting to get up, when she noticed the wet and itchy feeling. 

With a gasp, she sat up and tossed her blankets aside, seeing the dark spot not only on her pajama pants, but also on the bed sheet.

“No, no, no, no,” she whispered, rolling off the bed and frantically running to the bathroom. She locked herself in, hoping she didn’t wake anyone up. She didn’t need any of the women finding out about this. 

She knew she’d had close calls with the pull up, but it had never leaked before. If they found out about the other times (Lauren didn’t know that they did, in fact, know about the other times), they’d probably make her use a diaper, and that couldn’t happen. She could accept a pacifier, and sometimes she saw Camila using a bottle and longed to use one, too, though she never said anything. And there was maybe possibly a really good chance that she did in fact want to nurse.

But using a diaper was where she drew the line. Yes, she was still using a pull up even though she could probably go back to not using them. But after the last time incident where she it almost leaked, she decided it was best to continue using them. 

A diaper meant giving up control completely, and Lauren didn’t think she could handle that. 

“Lauren, are you alright?” Ally’s concerned voice came from the other side of the door.

Lauren didn’t realize she had been crying, but now she couldn’t stop. If Ally knew she was in here, that meant the older woman had gone into her room and she would have seen the soiled bed sheet.

“Lauren, sweetheart, I need you to open the door, please,” Ally requested softly from outside. 

“No, no I bad,” Lauren replied through sobs. Tears were flooding don her cheeks, and she felt so  _ small _ she couldn’t get up and unlock the door that was less than five feet away and she didn’t realize accidentally wetting the bed could make her feel like this. Camila told her that sometimes she felt too little to do things, but Lauren had never imagined it would feel like this.

She wanted so badly to open the door and let Ally hold her and comfort her, but she  _ couldn’t _ . She couldn’t make herself move and she couldn’t stop these uncontrollable, gut-wrenching sobs, and  _ fuck _ why did she feel so  _ small _ ?

“Lauren, baby, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?” Ally asked concernedly, somehow breaking through the barrier of Lauren’s overwhelming thoughts.

“‘Es,” the girl replied shakily, her breathing ragged and sobs still escaping.

“Alright, good. Breathe in and count to four,” Ally said, and Lauren did as told. “Hold your breath and count to seven, then breathe out and count to eight.”

Lauren followed the instructions, mentally counting as she did so. 

“Do it again, Lauren.”

The girl did so, and slowly she could feel her body begin to relax, and her sobbing died down, and soon enough she was just a sniffling mess on the bathroom floor.

“Lauren, can you please open the door?”

Lauren wanted so badly to say no, she didn’t want to Ally to see how much of a mess she was with her soaked pull and wet pj bottoms and, yep, they were even  _ more _ wet than before and  _ fuck _ maybe she wasn’t as big as she thought.

No. No. There was no way she was a baby, was there?

She shook her head, sniffling and wiping away the few stray tears. Slowly, she stood up and unlocked the door, and barely had time to move back when the door was pushed open and Ally entered the bathroom.

“Oh, sweetheart,” the older woman murmured, seeing the miserable state the girl was in. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, deciding not to make any comments. It was clear Lauren was still a moment away from another meltdown, and Ally wanted to avoid that if possible.

She slipped past Lauren and turned on the water in the tub, beginning to fill it with warm water. She turned back to the girl, slowly helping Lauren out of her pajamas. She frowned when she saw how soaked the pull up was. She knew Lauren used the pull ups at night and that there had been a few close calls, but if this was going to be a regular occurrence, they might need to use the alternative.

Ally knew there were two ways that conversation could go, and both would end with Lauren in tears.

Once she had the girl out of her clothes, she turned to turn off the water, then carefully helped Lauren into the bath. Grabbing a washcloth, she gently began to wash the younger one off. 

“You know you’re not in trouble, right, Lo?” she asked softly after Lauren refused to look up.

The girl frowned, looking up confusedly. “But, but I wetted bed,” she whispered, finally looking up.

Ally’s heart broke at the fear and panic reflected in the girl’s green eyes. “No, it was an accident, and they happen sometimes,” she replied, continuing to wash off Lauren’s body. “You aren’t in trouble, I promise. We’ll get it cleaned up. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Except there was, Lauren thought to herself. If this happened again, then there was no way she could argue against using diapers. But would that really be a bad thing?

No, she couldn’t think like that. She was not a baby, and she would never, ever use diapers. She would make sure of it. Except, that hadn’t been working out so well so far, she realized. Because no matter how hard she tried, she always used the pull up during the night, and on several occasions came close to leaking through it. Maybe she did need something stronger than a pull up.

Ally gently tapping her shoulder shook her from her thoughts. She realized the older woman had started draining the water, and carefully began standing up.

Ally wrapped her up in a towel, grabbed a new pull up, then led her back to her bedroom.

“Can you get dressed yourself, or do you need help?” Ally wasn’t quite sure that the bedwetting alone had set Lauren off, and with the conversation they would be having later, she didn’t want Lauren to feel like Ally believed the girl couldn’t do things for herself today.

“Do it myself,” Lauren answered, and the older woman nodded.

Setting the pull up on the bed, she said, “Okay. I’m going to go and get you some breakfast. Just come down to the kitchen when you’re done, alright?” When Lauren nodded, she smiled softly then left the room.

Lauren quickly dressed herself, then noticed that her sheet was still there, and the big wet patch seemed to be mocking her. Angrily, she ripped it from the bed and threw it to the floor. Why couldn’t she just be normal? She could handle being little, she could. That wasn’t a problem. But why couldn’t she be like Camila and be normal and just need pull ups when she was little? 

With a huff, she kicked the sheet, letting out a frustrated sigh. She wasn’t going to get any answers from it.

Finally, she decided it was time to go down to the kitchen. She didn’t want Ally coming to check on her again or she might have another meltdown. She made her way down to the kitchen, seeing the older blonde sat at the table with a cup of coffee, a bowl of cereal and Lauren’s favorite space sippy sitting across from her.

Slowly, the girl took the seat, hoping Ally wouldn’t notice her. She wasn’t even surprised that Ally did.

“Are you okay now, Lauren?” 

The girl nodded, not looking up. “No wan’ talk ‘bout it,” she mumbled, playing with the cheerios in her bowl.

Fortunately, the older woman dropped the subject. “I’m going to be leaving for work here soon, but when I get back tonight, we’re going set up the official list of rules for when you’re here,” she explained. “If you can, start thinking of things you like and don’t, especially when it comes to punishments, okay? And if you don’t, that’s alright. We’ll talk about it later.”

Lauren nodded, taking a sip of juice from her sippy. She absentmindedly wondered what it would be like to use a bottle, but immediately rid herself of those thoughts. She was  _ not _ a baby. 

Ally stood up and walked over to the sink, rinsing out her cup before placing it in the dishwasher. 

“Okay, how about I set up a movie for you in the living room and you finish your breakfast there?” she suggested, facing the younger girl. “I need to leave soon, and by the time it’s over the other three should be up.”

Lauren didn’t even notice how early it was, but the clock on the microwave said it was just after seven. She looked to the older woman and nodded. 

“Think you can carry your bowl to the living room?” 

Lauren nodded excitedly, carefully picking up the bowl of cheerios. Carefully, she followed Ally into the living room, her tongue poking out in concentration. Finally, she made it to the table and set the bowl down.

“Nice job, Lo,” Ally praised, ruffling the girl’s hair a bit. She set down the sippy of juice and went to look for a movie.

“Lion King, p’ease?” Lauren asked shyly.

The shorter woman nodded, smiling. “Sure thing, sweets.” After setting up the movie and going upstairs to get Lauren’s bedding and soiled pajamas and throwing it in the wash, she knelt in front of the girl, taking her attention away from the movie briefly. “I need to go to work, so be good for Normani and Dinah today, yeah?” She asked, though she didn’t think Lauren would cause too much trouble. That would be Camila’s department.

The green eyed girl nodded, shyly hugging the older woman. “M’kay, I be good,” she promised.

Ally smiled, hugging the girl back and pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be back tonight, promise.” She stood up, grabbed her purse and keys from the table, and walked out of the house.

Lauren let out a long breath. She was dreading the conversation they would be having later, because it could go a lot of different ways. She focused back on the movie, deciding not to think about later that day. For right now, she just wanted to eat her cereal and watch the movie in peace. She would convince the women she wasn’t a baby later.

She didn’t know her attempts, however, would fail.


	22. Chapter 22

Lauren was glad the day had passed uneventfully. With the conversation that would be happening soon, Ally would be back any minute and she assumed they’d be talking after dinner, she didn’t think she could handle any other stress. She fell asleep shortly after finishing her cereal, and when she woke up, Dinah or Normani had moved her to the couch and tucked her in with a blanket, and just the fact that they cared so much to do that made a weird warm and fuzzy feeling arise in her. 

Then she went up to her room to get Mr. Lamb to return him to Camila and noticed all of her bedding was gone. Well, now there was no way they didn’t know what had happened that morning. Which, okay, that was fine, she thought. She could explain it was an accident, she didn’t get up during the night to go to the bathroom. It wouldn’t happen again and she didn’t need to use anything besides a pull up. She knew she couldn’t get out of using them, which was okay, she didn’t mind. She had kind of grown to like the little bit of security it provided against wetting the bed, as long as she got up and went to the bathroom during the night.

Really, the only interesting thing that had happened was that Camila refused to take her stuffed lamb back when the older girl tried to return it. The brunette had just shook her head.

“Lolo’s now,” she said simply.

Lauren stared at her, dumbfounded. “But, but you don’t sleep without him,” she had argued, confused because Camila refused to go to bed without the stuffie.

Camila had just shook her head again, handed the lamb back to the green eyed girl, and went to play in the playroom.

Lauren was just confused. The only reason she could think for Camila to give her Mr. Lamb was that maybe it was little Camila’s way of saying she wanted Lauren here, too. Which, if that was what it meant, it was a small start in fixing that aspect of their relationship. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent just watching movies. Lauren didn’t feel like doing much, and Camila was content to just lay on the couch, wrapped in her monkey blanket and eat bananas all day (Dinah and Normani limited her to three, to which she pouted but didn’t attempt to argue).

Now though, Lauren’s laying on the couch, in a semi half asleep state with some kids show she can’t be bothered to remember the name of on tv. Honestly, she’d really prefer to just go to sleep now and avoid the conversation, but she knows she can’t and now she can hear Ally greeting Dinah and Normani and  _ shit _ , it’s going to happen soon. She’s not ready for this, she didn’t think of anything like Ally had told her to do. But, Ally had also said they would figure it out, so she thinks she’s okay.

A few more minutes pass, and then she’s being called for dinner, and then that’s over faster than she wanted, and now they’re sitting in the living room, and  _ holy fuck _ she’s not ready for this. She’s sat in the recliner, but this time Dinah’s not cuddling her, and it feels so lonely she hates it. Dinah and Normani are on couch, the latter holding a notebook, Ally is sat on the coffee table in front of her, and Camila is laid out on the floor, paying more attention to the banana she’s eating than the others (Lauren’s not quite sure how the girl convinced them to give her another banana, she thinks Camila just snuck it out of the kitchen).

“Lauren, did you think of anything for what you do or don’t want?” Ally asked, smiling softly at the older girl.

Lauren shook her head, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. She was more concerned about proving how she wasn’t a baby (which didn’t go so well).

“That’s alright, don’t worry about it,” the older woman assured. “Let’s go over rules first, and then we can talk about the other stuff.”

“M’kay,” the green eyed girl agreed, rubbing her hands together. She just wanted to get this over with so she knew if there was anything she would have to fight against.

“Okay, first, and this is on us for not telling you in the first place,” Normani started, “never go anywhere by yourself in headspace. If you’re here with us, you don’t leave the house unless one of us is with you or you tell us you are out of headspace. And we want you to tell us when you’re on your way here or when you get home. Do you agree with that?”

Lauren blinked, slightly taken aback. They were asking her if she was okay with a rule? She figured they would just come up with them and tell her, and that was that. “Um, ‘es, okay.”

Normani nodded, and placed a checkmark on a page in the notebook.

“And, if you are out somewhere by yourself or with Camila, and one of you slips into headspace, call one of us immediately, okay?” Dinah added. “Whether you’re at your apartment or at the store, call one of us, because if Camila slips, it could lead to you slipping, or vice versa.”

Lauren nodded, a serious look on her face. “Um, do you want our neighbors’ contact information?” she asked quietly. “They have mine and Camila’s numbers for that kind of situation, and a spare key to our apartment in case one of us gets locked out.”

“That would be a good idea, Lo,” she praised, causing a slight blush to appear on the girl’s cheeks. “Are they caregivers, too?” she asked curiously.

“Um, no, uh, no, they’re a uh, dom/sub couple,” she stammered out.

“How do you know that?” Normani questioned.

“Anna has a bracelet that’s actually a collar, she just wraps it around her wrist during the day. And she’s answered the door wearing it as a collar before. She explained it was just a sex thing though, they don’t act like one in public,” Lauren replied, not making eye contact.

“Are they nice?” Dinah questioned.

Lauren nodded fervently. “Really nice. An’ an’ Brittany is a police officer who works with a task force that rescues littles and subs from abusive caregivers and doms,” she explained. “I think they also have their own little, but it’s a girl from their college acapella group or something like that.”

“Do you think you could introduce us to them so that they know who we are?” Ally suggested.

Lauren shrugged, nodding. “I don’t see why not.”

The older blonde nodded, smiling. “Alright, we can figure that out later. Now, back to the rules,” she said. “You and Camila both have the basic rules of no hitting, yelling, disrespectful behavior, and no swearing when in headspace,” she started, the green eyed girl nodding in agreement. “If you break a rule, you take your punishment, no arguing. That only makes it worse.”

“No throwing tantrums to get what you want, either,” Normani reminded. “There were extenuating circumstances the day we went to the mall, so that’s different. If you knowingly try and throw a tantrum to manipulate us into getting what you want, you’ll get a punishment and won’t get anything, is that understandable?” she asked, looking at the girl for confirmation.

Lauren nodded. “Mhmm, got it.”

Dinah smiled. “So, we know this hasn’t really been discussed, but we do want to limit how much you eat when you’re little. Just so that you don’t make yourself sick,” she explained, noticing Lauren’s confused look. “Basically, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and if you are hungry between you need to tell us and we’ll get you a snack. And yes, we will know when you’ve tried sneaking food,” she said pointed, playfully glaring at Camila.

The girl looked away sheepishly, her hands still covered in mushed banana.

The taller blonde just rolled her eyes, turning back to Lauren. “Anyways, just ask us and we’ll get you a snack, unless it’s close to when we’re going to be eating.”

The older girl nodded. “Okay, I do that,” she promised.

“Also, there will be an official bedtime when you’re little, and you have to nap at least once a day. Though I doubt that will be a problem,” Dinah teased, earning a blush from the green eyed girl. “Oh, also, your blanket does not go anywhere besides one of the bedrooms or the living room. We don’t need it getting ruined because you got food or something all over it, okay?”

“M’kay, Camz, too?”

“Yeah, Mila’s blanket, too,” Dinah agreed.

“Alright, Lauren, these last couple of rules are really important, so listen carefully. Can you do that for me?” Ally asked, gently taking one Lauren’s hands in her own.

The green eyed girl frowned, but nodded. 

“Okay, first, no matter what, we don’t expect you to be good all the time,” the older woman began, her voice taking an extremely serious tone. “You’re going to mess up and make bad choices, Lauren. It’s inevitable.”

“But, that does not make  _ you _ bad,” Dinah continued. “You will make mistakes, but they do not define you.”

Lauren could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Why were they so  _ fucking good _ at being caretakers? Honestly, how the  _ fuck _ did Camila find three women who were like the  _ perfect  _ caretakers?

Normani walked over to the chair Lauren was sitting in, pulling the girl into her, hugging her tightly. “It doesn’t matter how ‘bad’ you think you are, Lauren. With us, you will always be safe and loved, nothing you do can change that,” she promised, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple. “We also want you to always be honest about how you’re feeling, okay? Whether it’s little you or adult you, if you’re ever overwhelmed or upset about something, tell us. We want to help in any way we can.”

Lauren didn’t respond verbally, just nodded and nuzzled further into the older woman. 

“Okay, I think that’s all the rules for now. If there’s anything else we think of later, we’ll discuss it with you before adding it to the list, okay?” Ally asked, earning a nod from the raven haired girl. “Okay, do you want to talk about what you want and don’t want when you’re little, or do you want to wait until morning?” she questioned, noticing it was beginning to get late.

Lauren shook her head, trying to conceal a yawn. “‘Ontinue,” she mumbled into Normani’s shoulder.

“No, let’s wait until morning,” Dinah replied, walking over to pick up Camila. “You two both need baths, and you, Lo, had were up extremely early this morning,” she argued.

The green eyed girl blushed, remembering the cause of her being up so early. She hoped, though she knew it was unlikely, that Normani and Dinah didn’t know about her accidental bedwetting.

Ally sighed, and Lauren could feel something bad was coming. “Lauren, I know you’re not going to like this,” the older woman started slowly. “But, tonight, I think you need to try using a diaper instead of a pull up.”

Lauren couldn’t stop the sob from escaping as she pushed away from Normani. “Nuh uh, no. No, no, p’ease,” she begged, looking up pleadingly.

“Lauren, sweetheart, this is the first time your pull up has leaked, but it’s not the first time you’ve ever had one come close to leaking,” Ally explained calmly, unmoving from her spot. “There’s nothing wrong with needing stronger protection. We just don’t want to risk you wetting the bed every night.”

“But, but I not do it no more, p’ease, no,” Lauren argued, looking between the three.  _ Fuck _ , why couldn’t she just be normal and not need to use any kind of protection during the night? 

“Lauren,” Camila spoke up, and she definitely did not sound little at all. She moved to kneel in front of Lauren, slightly pushing back Normani and Ally.

The older girl tearfully looked to the brunette, sniffling pitifully.

“It’s okay to need diapers,” Camila stated. “I’m not going to judge you for it, and neither would they.” She pointed between the three older women. “In fact, I used them when I first started out,” she admitted truthfully.

Lauren’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“Yeah, when I first started as their little, I used diapers instead of pull ups. But then after a while we found that using pull ups was enough, so I used them instead. But there’s nothing wrong with you using one, Lo. I promise.”

Lauren sniffled, wiping away a few tears. Eventually, she hung her head and nodded reluctantly. If Camila used diapers at one point, she could, too. But that didn’t mean she had to like it.

The younger girl grinned. “Lolo s’eep in my room tonigh’?” she asked excitedly, amazing Lauren at how she could so easily slip in and out of headspace.

Dinah smiled, nodding. “That’s fine, but you both need baths first.” She picked Camila up, hoisting the girl over her shoulder, earning a string of giggles of the brunette. “Especially you, my little banana thief,” she teased as she disappeared upstairs.

Normani held a hand out for Lauren. “Ready?”

Lauren thought about saying she didn’t need help, but there was something that pulled at her not to refuse help. There was something about having one of them help her that made her feel so safe and secure, she didn’t know why but she  _ liked _ it. She nodded, taking the offered hand and letting the dark skinned woman lead her to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later found Lauren sitting on her bed, wrapped in a fluffy towel, dreading having to wear a diaper. Honestly, why couldn’t they just let her continue using a pull up?

Because her bladder had turned on her and made her wet the bed, that’s why, she thought angrily.

Reluctantly, she let Normani lay her down and slip a diaper under her bottom. She would have done it herself, except she didn’t think she could do it right, and she didn’t want to wet the bed two nights in a row. And, really, she planned to not use the diaper during the night, and then she could prove she didn’t need one. It was a foolproof plan.

The older woman fastened the diaper around her waist, and Lauren frowned. It wasn’t actually that uncomfortable, if she was being honest. It was a lot fluffier than the pull up, and it felt tighter and more secured, which caused a strange, warm feeling and it really, why had she refu-

No.  _ No _ , there was no way she was liking this. Nope. No fucking way she was enjoying the feeling of the diaper. At all.

She wiggled a little bit, finding it was a bit more awkward to move. She moved to undo the tape holding it together, but Normani caught her hands, quirking an eyebrow amusedly. “Really? Not even two minutes and you’re already trying to take it off?” she teased.

Lauren turned away, embarrassed at getting caught. 

“How about, you keep it on all night, and I won’t make you wear pants to bed?” Normani bargained, helping Lauren into her Nala pajama shirt.

The younger girl looked up suspiciously. “Wha’ ‘bou’ Awwy?”

“I’ll take care of that,” Dinah interjected, entering the room.

Normani frowned. “How?”

The younger blonde smirked. “Ally, Lauren’s not wearing pants tonight and there’s nothing you can do about it!” she yelled. 

“Oh my god, fine,” they heard the oldest one reply exasperatedly.

Camila ran into the room, dressed in a monkey onesie. “Momma, milk an’ cuddles,” she demanded, pulling on Normani’s arm. “Uh, p’ease?” she added after a moment.

Normani shook her head, but agreed. “Alright, baby. Lauren, do you want any milk tonight?” she asked, turning to the older girl.

Lauren nodded hesitantly. It wasn’t like she had to drink the whole thing, right? But, she really did want to know how it felt drinking from a bottle, and if Camila had no shame in doing that, then she could do it, too.

“Alright, little ones, come on,” the older woman said, holding hand out to each girl.

The two women led them to the living room, where Ally had two bottles of milk already made.

Dinah made her way over to the recliner, looking up to see Lauren looking at her shyly. “Come here, squirt,” she invited warmly, holding arms out for the girl.

The green eyed girl (tried but failed) to calmly walk over to the blonde, crawling into Dinah’s lap and nuzzling into her chest immediately.

“See, this is why there won’t be a problem with you taking a nap everyday,” the taller woman joked, patting Lauren’s bottom rhythmically (Lauren refused to admit it actually made her about ten times sleepier, because it didn’t. Nope. Did not, thank you very much).

Lauren looked over to see Camila happily cuddling with Normani and suckling on her bottle, then felt a hand tap her shoulder. She turned to see Ally looking at her.

“Do you want one, too?” the older woman asked, holding up a second bottle.

The older girl nodded shyly, hiding her face in Dinah’s neck. 

The younger blonde took the bottle, shifting slightly so that she could hold the nipple to Lauren’s lips. “It’s okay, squirt, just relax,” she whispered, feeling how tense the smaller girl was. “Camila’s enjoying hers, don’t you want to know what it’s like?”

Dammit, how did she know? Lauren thought (honestly she would be in so much trouble if they knew how many times she had swore in her thoughts tonight alone).

Finally, she timidly took the nipple of the bottle (she perked up seeing it had a cute little sea turtle on it) in her mouth, and slowly started suckling. After a moment, she felt her body relax into Dinah, the suckling was just like her pacifier. Between the soothing suckling and the warmth of the milk, and also Dinah’s continued patting of her bottom, she could feel herself completely relaxing, and slowly falling asleep. Until she sat up with a gasp, slightly coughing because, oh, yeah, breathing was still a thing she needed to do. After she had settled down, she took the bottle back and eventually figured out a rhythm between drinking the milk and breathing properly.

Not even halfway through the bottle, Lauren was out like a light.

“Honestly, I don’t get how this kid does not see that she’s just a little baby in headspace,” Dinah murmured, looking up at Normani and Ally, setting the unfinished bottle aside.

“Just give her some more time, I think she’s slowly starting to come around to the idea,” the older blonde replied, smiling at the sight of their two sleeping littles. 

“Fucking finally,” the youngest woman groaned, earning a pillow being thrown at her. “Rude, Smallz.”

“Come on, let’s get them to bed,” Normani said, standing up with Camila in her arms, Dinah following with Lauren.

“I swear if you two don’t come to bed quietly, you’re both sleeping on the couch,” Ally warned, giving the two a glare. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Dinah replied mockingly, though she knew the shorter woman would follow through on her threat. 

The younger women made their way to Camila’s room, tucking both girls into the bed. Normani set a pacifier on the night stand and made sure Lauren had her blanket and Nala.

“I guess we’ll see how Lauren feels about the diaper in the morning, won’t we?” she asked, turning to look at Dinah.

“I’m thinking there’s going to be a lot of tears, especially if she actually uses it,” the younger woman replied. “But we’ll deal with that tomorrow. Let’s go to bed. And I’m not arguing with you about anything tonight because I don’t want to sleep on the couch. Ally might be our tiny ray of sunshine, but she always follows through on her threats.”

Normani rolled her eyes, but didn’t disagree. The two each pressed kisses to the girls’ temples, then walked out of the room, leaving the door half-open just in case.


	23. Chapter 23

Lauren woke up with Camila lying on top of her, the younger girl’s hair tickling her face. That really didn’t surprise her as much as it should have. Camila had a tendency to wrap herself around the older girl like a koala whenever they cuddled, even out of headspace. Shifting so that the brunette was no longer lying completely on top of her, Lauren noticed that the diaper was dry.

She turned to look at the dinosaur clock on the nightstand and saw it was just after seven in the morning. She smirked slightly. See, she didn’t need the stupid diaper. She could keep herself dry during the night. But, just in case, she thought she better get up and use the bathroom.

As she stood and became more awake, she began to felt a growing pressure in her bladder, and realized just how badly she needed to go. She tried to run to the bathroom, but she hadn’t moved around much in the diaper and her movements were reduced to a slow, awkward waddle. 

Finally though, she made it to the bathroom, still not having used the diaper, but really need to relieve herself. It was to the point where if she didn’t go soon, she would end up using the diaper, and she could not allow that to happen. She needed to prove she didn’t need one. She hurried to undo the tape holding the diaper together, but her fingers kept fumbling with the flaps and she couldn't undo them.

“No, no come on,” she mumbled panickedly to herself, continuing to struggle with removing the diaper. She needed to get it off  _ now _ but she couldn’t get her fingers to grab it properly. 

It was like some part of her turned on her and refused to cooperate.

In her haste to undo the diaper, she didn’t realize the growing pressure in her bladder get to be too much. Suddenly, she felt a slight leak from her bladder, and that was enough to send her over the edge. Now, she couldn’t control herself as she unwillingly relieved herself, the fluffy material of the diaper swell. Feeling tears in her eyes, she leaned back against the wall, sinking to the floor, letting go completely into the diaper, the pressure finally being released.

She tried to suppress the choked sob that escaped her, she really did. But the fact that she had actually used the diaper was humiliating. She didn’t need it, it wasn’t her fault! Why couldn’t she just hold it a little bit longer? 

“Lauren?” someone called, and then there was a hand gently grabbing her shoulder.

Looking up, the girl cried even harder seeing Dinah standing above her, looking concerned. Great, now one of them had seen her use the diaper; how was she supposed to prove she didn’t need it now?

“Lauren, sweetheart, are you wet?” the blonde asked quietly, kneeling next to the smaller girl.

Lauren only shook her head, tears streaming down her face even faster. 

Dinah wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling Lauren into her lap. She softly patted the bottom of the diaper, feeling how wet it was. 

Lauren gasped, shaking her head and attempted to break away from the woman’s hold. “No, no, not need, no,” she cried.

“Lauren, clearly you did need it,” Dinah pointed out calmly, not letting go of the green eyed girl. “And it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. But, we need to get you into a dry one so you don’t get a rash, okay?”

The girl shook her head fervently, trying to get away from the blonde. Finally, she managed to wiggle free just enough to shove Dinah away from her, slapping the woman’s hands away when Dinah went to grab her again before realizing what she had done.

“Lauren.”

Lauren couldn’t think. She knew she shouldn’t have pushed or hit Dinah, but she didn’t want a new diaper, even though she knew she needed one. And not just because it was wet, either.

“No, no I-I-I sorry,” the girl whispered hoarsely, looking up at Dinah frightenedly. 

Dinah leveled a stern look at her, and Lauren was terrified. She hadn’t been this terrified since she had lived with her dad.

What if Dinah was going to hit her? God, Lauren just felt so  _ small  _ she couldn’t make herself move. She could faintly hear Dinah trying to get her attention, but she couldn’t think. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and her lungs burned from the short breaths she was taking.

A hand grabbed her own, and through her tears Lauren watched as Dinah guided their joined hands to her heart. 

“Lauren, focus on me,” the blonde commanded softly, and the girl nodded, trying her best focus on the gentle, warm voice talking to her. “Okay, good. Can you feel my heartbeat?”

When Lauren nodded, Dinah continued, “That’s good. Breathe in and count to four with me, baby. And focus on feeling my heartbeat.”

Lauren inhaled slowly, feeling Dinah doing the same. As Dinah told her to hold her breathing and count to seven, she vaguely remembered Ally doing this with her the day before. Finally, finally her pulse that had been racing slowed and the burning in her lungs disappeared. 

When she had calmed down, Dinah wrapped her arms tightly around Lauren, hugging the girl tightly to her chest.

“You’re alright, baby, everything’s okay,” she murmured, soothing rubbing the girl’s back.

“I sorry, no mean it,” Lauren cried, trying to get as close to Dinah as she could. “No hurt, p’ease, I no mean it. No hit, p’ease,” she begged, fisting the woman’s shirt desperately.

The blonde gasped, tightening her hold on Lauren. “No, Lauren,  _ no.  _ I am  _ not _ going to hit you,  _ ever _ ,” she stated fiercely. “God no, Lauren. None of us would ever hit you just for the sake of hurting you.”

Carefully, she stood up, and felt Lauren wrap her legs around her waist. She grabbed a new diaper and the package of wipes from the cabinet and walked to the girl’s bedroom. She set Lauren on the bed, gently pushing her to lay down. She quickly undid the soiled diaper, switching it out for the fresh one, then cleaned the girl off as quickly as possible.

Lauren pulled her arms to her face to hide her embarrassment, but there was a small part of her that wasn’t blushing from embarrassment, but at the fact that, as it turned out, she found she she actually  _ liked _ having someone else care for her like this. She couldn’t explain it, but she was so  _ vulnerable _ like this yet she still felt so  _ safe _ , like, no matter what, nothing bad would happen to her.  

Finally, Dinah finished and taped the flaps of the diaper, and went to dispose of the soiled items. Lauren couldn’t deny that the diaper was actually a lot more comfortable than the pull up, and now that she was in a clean one she found it really wasn’t  _ that bad _ to wear one. But, she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of admitting that out loud. 

Dinah returned, and gently sat on the bed, pulling the girl into her lap. “Okay, you know what did was wrong, yes?” she asked quietly, running her hand through the girl’s dark hair.

“‘Es, I bad.”

“No, Lauren, you are not bad,” Dinah corrected. “That’s not what I said. What you did was wrong, because hitting and pushing is wrong. But you, Lauren, are not bad. You are still my sweet girl, nothing is going to change that,” she promised, pulling the smaller girl to her chest.

Something broke in Lauren, because the next thing she knew, she was a sobbing mess once again. Why were they so good to her? She had messed up and broke a rule, they should be mad at her, shouldn’t they? Instead, Dinah, the woman she had hit and shoved, was telling her she was still good, that she wasn’t bad. She didn’t know what to do with that, honestly.

“Lauren, baby, I need you to calm down,” the blonde stated softly, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly.

“‘M not a baby,” the girl mumbled into the woman’s shirt.

Dinah smirked, there was her stubborn baby. “No, you’re not,” she agreed, though really she knew the girl was just that. “Now, you know that I should give you a punishment for your actions, right?”

Lauren nodded resignedly, knowing it was coming. And she deserved it. She had broken a rule.

“However, this time, and this time only, I’m not going to,” Dinah stated.

Lauren sat and stared at the blonde in shock. “Why?” she asked confusedly. “I-I ‘serve it.”

“But do you think you deserve it for the fact that you made a bad decision, or because you think you were bad?”

The green eyed girl continued to look at the woman, dumbfounded. “I-I not know,” she answered honestly. 

“You made a bad choice, but you are not bad. And yes, I should give you a timeout at the very least, but this one time, I’m only going to give you a warning. If you hit or shove me, or anyone else, there will be a punishment, understand?” Dinah asked.

“”Es, I understan’.”

“Good. And just know, I will be telling Normani and Ally, because they do need to know. And after breakfast, we’re going to discuss what punishments are okay, and which ones are off limits, no questions.”

Lauren nodded, laying her head on the taller woman’s shoulder. 

Dinah stood up carefully, keeping a tight grip on the smaller girl, and walked down to the kitchen. She set Lauren in a table chair, and went to get her a bowl of cereal and cup of grape juice.

A few minutes later, Normani and Camila appeared in the kitchen, Ally following behind a few moments later.

Dinah walked over to where the older two women were standing near the counter, hopping up to sit on the counter. “So, there was a small incident with Lauren this morning,” she started slowly.

“Is everything okay?” Ally asked, looking between her girlfriend and the raven haired girl.

The younger one shrugged. “I think so. I went to help her change her diaper, but she shoved me and slapped my hands away,” she explained. “I was going to give her a timeout once I had changed her, but she freaked out,” she continued, taking a deep breath. “God, she thought I was going to hit her. Lauren thought I would hurt her as punishment,” she admitted, a few tears slipping down her cheek. “I swear to God I would never lay my hand on her, or anyone, like that.”

“We know that, Dinah,” Normani promised, wrapping the younger woman in her arms, hugging her tightly. 

Dinah nodded, pulling back. “She had a small panic attack over it, but eventually I got her calmed down and assured I would never hit her for the sake of hurting her,” she continued, wiping away a few remaining tears. “And once I got her changed, I told her I wasn’t going to give her a punishment, but only this one time. I just want us to have a set list of what punishments are allowed and which are not before giving her anything more than a timeout.”

“Okay, but we gave her a timeout for running out of the house while in headspace the other day,” Normani pointed out.

“Yeah, but Camila was there to assure her nothing bad would happen,” the younger woman argued. “And, running out of the house isn’t the same as hitting or shoving someone. I think Lauren assumed that because she hit me, I’d use physical force as punishment.”

“But she knows that if it happens again, she will get a punishment, right?” Ally checked.

“Yes, she knows that she will get one if it happens again.”

“Alright. Let us eat and then we’ll go over everything else we still need to,” the shorter woman said, going to grab a banana from the counter. Except - “Hey, there were still two bananas here last night,” she stated, frowning.

Dinah turned to the two girls sitting at the table, noticing the younger was trying to hide a guilty smile. “You little sneak. You are my little banana thief, aren’t you?” she asked, but couldn’t hide her amusement. 

Camila smiled sheepishly. “Dey good, Mama! I needed dem!”

“Hmmm, well the penalty for sneaking them is that now you have to wait until we make the grocery run on Thursday,” Dinah replied, looking to the other two women for their agreement.

The younger girl gasped. “Bu’ bu’ dat’s like ever, Mama!”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have ate all of the bananas in two days then, baby,” Ally pointed out.

“Bu’ dey good, an’ an’ I love dem,” Camila argued, pouting.

“Yeah, but now we don’t have any,” Normani said, laughing at the girl’s sad face. 

“Come on, banana thief, finish your breakfast,” Dinah said, pointing the girl’s bowl of cereal. 

Camila sighed, but nodded, going back to her food.

Lauren pushed her now emptied bowl back and grabbed her cup. “I done,” she said quietly, looking to the three women.

“Do you need a change, bubs?” Normani asked carefully. “And, just so you know, we will check if we think you’re lying. We don’t want you getting a rash.”

Lauren blushed and looked down, shaking her head. “No, not need.” She wasn’t lying, but she really didn’t want them checking to be sure, that would be embarrassing with Camila around.

“Alright, go on to the living room, we’ll be there in a few minutes to talk,” Ally stated.

Lauren nodded and started towards the living room before stopping and turning back. “I get blankie?” she asked quietly. Ally had said to go to the living room, she didn't know if she was allowed to get her blanket first.

“Yeah, that’s fine, thank you for asking first, squirt,” Dinah responded, giving the girl a warm smile.

Lauren smiled back, then carefully carried her cup to the living room, setting it on the coffee table. She walked up the stairs to Camila’s room, finding her blanket and Nala still on the bed and grabbed both. Then she noticed her Simba paci on the night stand and quickly grabbed it, sticking it in her mouth. All of her muscles relaxed as she started suckling and she realized just how tense she was. She was actually really glad to have the pacifier, because poor Nala probably wouldn’t have last long with how much she would have chewed on her tail.

She made her way back down to the living room, and curled up in the recliner, cocooning herself in her blankie and clutching Nala to her chest. Between the warmth of her blanket, the rhythmic clicks of her paci lulled her into sleep. 

She was startled by someone lifting her up, but she relaxed immediately seeing it was only Dinah. 

“Sorry, Lo, I shouldn’t have done that,” the blonde apologized.

Once her pulse had slowed down, the girl just shook her head, nuzzling into the taller woman.

“Okay, Lauren, we need to go over a few things still,” Ally started as she took a seat on the couch, Normani on the other side of her with Camila in the middle. “But, we want to start with what punishments we will use for when you’ve earned one.”

“Obviously there will be timeouts, that one’s a given,” Normani continued, looking at the older girl. “And we will only resort to punishments if the offense warrants one. Or, if we’ve warned you about your behavior and you’ve ignore them multiple times. We won’t always go straight to a punishment, usually a warning is more than enough.”

“This is really important to understand though, Lauren,” Dinah said seriously, making the girl look at her. “For you, we will never use physical punishments like spanking. That will always be off limits unless you tell us otherwise. However,” she paused, making sure Lauren was listening carefully, “with Camila, she has given us consent to use spanking for bad behavior. But, it’s only happened one time. And there was after care. Do you know what that is, sweets?”

Lauren shook her head.

“It’s where, after a punishment has been dealt, we make sure you’re okay, and talk about why you received the punishment and how you can prevent it from happening again. And there’s lots of hugs and cuddles. Remember after your timeout the other night?” the taller blonde questioned.

“‘Es,” Lauren replied.

“And this morning, when you were upset, that was kind of like it, too,” Dinah continued. “We will always check to make sure you are okay afterwards, and give you all of the hugs and reassurances you need. It doesn’t matter what you did to earn a punishment, or what consequence you get.”

The green eyed girl nodded, laying back down on the blonde. That sounded so good. There was nothing like that when she was kid.

“Okay, and consequences can vary from timeout, to having an earlier bedtime or going to bed without dessert,” Ally continued. 

“There’s also loss of tv and movie privileges, and having to write lines,” Normani added.

“Dose no fun,” Camila interjected, scrunching her face in dislike. “Dey boring and make hand hurt.”

“Well, they’re not supposed to be enjoyable,” Ally reasoned amusedly.

“There’s a lot of other consequences you could earn, Lauren, but just know that we will never use physical force with you as one,” Normani assured, getting the conversation back on track. “And there will always be hugs and reassurances afterwards. And if there’s a new punishment that you’re not completely sure of, tell us, and we’ll talk it out.”

“M’kay,” the older girl agreed, nodding. She could live with that. Those were fair punishments, and the after care sounded good, too.

“Alright, now, let’s talk about what you want when you’re in headspace,” the shorter blonde said. “I think it’s pretty obvious you like your blanket and pacifier.”

Lauren nodded, holding her blankie tighter. “Dey ‘ine.”

“They are,” Ally agreed. “And you’ve been okay using sippy cups. But what about the bottle? Did you like that? Is it something you’d want all the time, or only at certain times like Mila?”

The older girl sat and contemplated the question. She really did like using the bottle last night, it felt nice and provided an odd sense of comfort, kind of like her pacifier. But would they let her use one all the time?”

“I liked,” she answered.

“Okay, and is it something you think you might want to use all the time?” Dinah asked, having seen the girl thinking hard about something.

Hiding her face in the blonde’s shirt, Lauren nodded. “P’ease?”

The taller woman smiled, patting the girl’s bottom softly. “Not a problem, squirt.” 

“And the diapers, Lo? Is that something we can continue using with you?” Normani asked slowly.

Lauren clenched her eyes tightly, but nodded reluctantly. She couldn’t deny that they did make her feel more protected during the pull up, and the incident in the bathroom before showed her that maybe she did need them.

Dinah looked between the girl in her lap and Camila before asking cautiously, “Lauren, did you think about how you feel about nursing?”

The older girl nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, and how do you feel about it?” the younger blonde asked. “Because I think it would be a good comfort thing for you and that you might need it.”

Lauren sat up and looked at the woman confusedly. “What?” 

Dinah only shrugged, ignoring the warning looks from her girlfriends. “I think it’s something you might need when you’re in headspace.”

“But I’m not a baby,” Lauren argued, not quite meeting the older woman’s eye.

“Can you look me in the eye and say that confidently?” Dinah challenged, quirking an eyebrow.

Lauren met the woman’s gaze, looking at her intently. Just as she was about to speak, however, she faltered.

Was she a baby? She couldn’t sleep at night without her Nala or blankie, but that wasn’t enough to make her a baby, right? But then, she really liked the pacifier and using a bottle as she found out last night. And, okay, maybe she did like the diapers more than pull ups and actually needed them, and she really like cuddling with Dinah (or any of the others, but Dinah especially) when she was sleepy. And yes, she was open to the idea of nursing. But did that make her baby?

She looked up to see Dinah looking at her softly, and broke down into sobs, hiding her face in the woman’s chest. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t deny it any longer. 

“I no wan’ be baby,” she choked out through her sobs, grabbing the woman’s shirt desperately. She had to fix it, she couldn’t be a baby, it just wasn’t possible.

Dinah ignored the glares the older two women were sending her. She knew she was in trouble with them, but at the moment she didn’t care. “Lauren, it’s alright. It’s okay to have a younger headspace. There’s no one stopping you but yourself,” she whispered, hugging the girl tightly and patting her back soothingly.

“Is it okay if I talk to Lauren alone?” Camila asked quietly, looking between the three women. 

Ally looked to the younger girl and nodded. “Of course, sweetheart. Normani and I need to talk to Dinah anyway,” she said pointedly, looking to the taller blonde.

Dinah shrugged, looking unapologetic. “Someone needed to say it.”

She stood up, setting Lauren back down in the recliner carefully before walking into the kitchen.

Ally sighed exasperatedly. “Honestly sometimes I wonder why we put up with her.”

Normani chuckled, wrapping an arm around the short woman’s shoulders. “Because we love her, babe. And really, our lives would be bring without her.”

“I hate you both!” Dinah called from the kitchen.

“Sure you do, Dinah Jane,” Normani agreed sarcastically. She looked to Camila. “We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done.”

The younger girl nodded, then waited for the two women to leave before going to sit with Lauren, waiting for the older girl’s cries to settle down. 

Eventually, Lauren’s sobs turned into pitiful sniffles, and she hid her face in the brunette’s shirt.

Camila hugged the girl, pulling her close before whispering, “You know it’s okay for you to need a younger headspace, right?” 

The older girl shook her head. “Can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I can’t look out for you anymore if my headspace is younger, and I need to,” Lauren admitted.

Camila shook her head. “Lauren, you don’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I do. I’ve always looked out for you, I can’t stop now.”

“No, Lauren, babe, listen to me,” the younger girl said sternly, and was met with green eyes looking back at her. “You’ve looked out for me our entire lives when in reality it should have been me looking out for you. God, Lo, just look at how shitty your childhood was because no one was looking out for you. Here, with Normani, Ally, and Dinah, you don’t need to protect me, and you don’t need to protect yourself. You are  _ safe _ here, no matter how little you are. You and I both know this is a stress reliever to me, but it’s not for you. This is something you need, because, whether or not you realize it, you want the love and affection you were denied as a kid. And if that means you have a younger headspace, then let it happen.”

Lauren nodded, trying to hold on even tighter to her best friend. 

“And just know, nothing about this changes anything, okay?” Camila continued, running her hand through the older girl’s hair. “Like I said when you first got your results, nothing that happens will change our friendship. Whether your headspace is younger or older, you will always be my Lolo. But personally, I think you should let yourself be really little, I think it would help you so much.”

“I know, you’re right,” the green eyed girl whispered hoarsely. “And Dinah’s right,” she added.

“I fucking told you guys,” they heard the blonde grumble.

“Dinah, shut the fuck up,” Normani ordered.

Lauren ducked her head, hiding in Camila’s neck, but she couldn’t help the warm feeling in her chest or the fact that it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Camila was okay with her having a younger headspace, and clearly the trio didn’t have a problem with it, Dinah especially, it seemed.

Maybe, it would be okay for her to be a baby in headspace after all.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic/anxiety attack warning.

After Lauren’s admission, Camila had decided the older girl needed a bit of space to let her mind settle. Lauren was grateful about that, because as much as she liked being around the three women, after that conversation she needed time to process everything. So, Camila decided that it would be the best time for them to go back to their apartment and spend some time together by themselves, and talk about everything that had happened in recent weeks.

And it worked out for the trio, because even though Lauren wasn’t mad at Dinah, the older two women were pissed, and the younger blonde had some grovelling to do. Lauren didn’t want to know what exactly that would entail.

That afternoon the two had just spent lazing around their apartment watching movies and ordering takeout. Camila relented and reluctantly agreed to watch a couple of horror movies with the older girl, but only when Lauren agreed to cuddle with her throughout the entirety and buy her a week’s worth of bananas. Lauren also ended up letting the younger girl sleep in her bed, too, when Camila was reluctant to go to bed by herself.

The next morning, the two went to breakfast at IHOP, and Camila insisted on paying for it.

“Lo, it’s fine, I’ve got it,” the younger girl said when they received the check.

“Camz, we always split it the bill,” Lauren argued. “Or you somehow manage to convince me to pay it.”

The brunette laughed, smiling sheepishly. “Yeah, okay, that’s true. But I’ve got it this time, promise.”

The green eyed girl sighed, but relented. “Fine, but I’m paying for lunch.”

“Nope, I’ve got that covered, too.”

“Camila,” Lauren groaned.

“I’m just trying to be nice and treat my best friend, okay? We haven’t done this in a while, even before you got your determination.”

That was true. Between Camila being at the trio’s house during the week and her job every other weekend, and Lauren’s job at the library (which she would be returning to soon, thankfully), the two just didn’t have much time to make plans. And the nights they were both at home, they didn’t have the energy to do much besides have dinner and watch a movie or two.

“Alright, fine. But next time, I’m paying,” the older girl grumbled, crossing her arms petulantly.

Camila chuckled. “Fine, deal.” She signed the receipt and stood up, motioning for Lauren to follow her. “Come on, let’s go to the park for a bit.”

Lauren tilted her head, looking at the younger girl confusedly. “Like a regular park or a little park?”

“A regular park. Maybe there will be some dogs there we can pet. No, wait, let’s go to the animal shelter and see all the dogs!” the younger one suggested excitedly. She grabbed Lauren’s hand and led her out of the restaurant. “Do you think we could get a dog?”

The raven haired girl smiled. “As cool as it would be, we hardly spend time at our apartment as it is,” she reasoned, following Camila down the street. “And, I don’t think Ally, Normani, and Dinah are going to let us keep it there. And your parents won’t keep it for us either.”

“Damn it, I really want a puppy, Lauren,” Camila whined.

Lauren just laughed, pulling the smaller girl into her side. “I know, but we don’t exactly have the biggest apartment, so I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

The younger girl pouted, but nodded. “Fine. Meanie.”

The older girl just rolled her eyes. “Come on, let’s go see if we can play with some of the dogs at the shelter.”

Camila’s eyes lit up in excitement and she began dragging Lauren quickly down the street. 

“Hey, you know that I’m really glad you let Normani, Ally, and Dinah be your caretakers, right?” the younger one asked suddenly, slowing her pace. She stopped, and looked at the ground, scuffing her shoe on the sidewalk. “And, I know what I said a few days ago was shit, I know that. And me being in headspace is not an excuse. I just need you to know that I always want you around,” she said quietly, shyly looking up at the older girl.

“Is that why I woke up with your stuffed lamb the other morning?” Lauren asked.

Camila nodded fervently. “I um, I thought, maybe if I gave you my favorite stuffed animal when I’m little, it’d show you that little me likes that you’re there, too. It’s probably dumb and meaningless, but I just thought…” she trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

The green eyed girl smiled warmly, pulling the smaller girl into a hug. “Thanks, Camz,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to the girl’s head.

Camila blushed, hiding her face in Lauren’s shoulder. “I know it doesn’t completely make up for what I did, but I thought it was a start.”

Lauren nodded and hugged the girl tighter before letting go. “Come on, we’re supposed to be going to see the dogs, remember?” 

The brunette nodded and they resumed their venture through town.

As they walked, Lauren felt dread building in her stomach. There was something about this part of downtown that made every fiber of her being want to turn around and run back to their apartment. As much as she didn’t want to continue, she didn’t want to stop Camila from getting to the shelter. The younger girl was so excited, she was actually skipping down the sidewalk (Lauren wouldn’t be surprised if the girl had slipped into headspace just a bit). Not wanting to ruin Camila’s good mood, and also because she herself wanted to see the puppies, Lauren remained silent, but that feeling never left her.

They were about a block away from the shelter when Lauren realized why she stayed away from this side of town. 

In order to get to the animal shelter, they had to pass by her dad’s office building.

“Camz,” Lauren whispered desperately, but it wasn’t loud enough for the younger girl to hear. “Camz. Camila, please,” she cried, a tightness overtaking her chest and tears pooling in her eyes.

“Lauren? What’s wrong?” the brunette asked, hearing the pleading tone of her friend’s voice. 

The taller girl shook her head, trying to fight back tears and get her breathing under control. “Th-that building-” she pointed in the direction of the office “-i-it’s his.”

Camila looked to where Lauren was pointing, and saw the  _ Jauregui Industries _ sign on the side of the structure. 

“What if he’s th-there?” Lauren panicked, looking at the smaller girl with wide, frightened eyes. “What if-if someone sees us, an’ an’ tells him? I can’t- Camila I  _ can’t _ see him. I can’t- I don’t- I wou-”

“Lauren, Lo, babe, calm down, we won’t go that way,” Camila promised, gently grabbing the girl’s shoulder and leading her back the way they had come. 

She was getting worried. Lauren’s breathing was getting more and more erratic and unsteady, and she looked like she was about to break down into sobs any second. The younger girl knew she needed to get them back to their apartment, but it was about a fifteen minute walk and she didn’t think Lauren would last that long before completely breaking down. 

Camila really regretted deciding to walk around town today. And now, not only was Lauren freaking out and literally about to break, but  _ Camila _ could feel herself getting worked up, because she couldn’t get Lauren to calm down and the older girl’s stress was setting her off, now.  _ Shit _ .

“Okay, Lauren, you can freak out all you want, that’s fine, but just try to hang on until we get back to the apartment, alright?” the younger one asked quietly, pulling the older girl back towards their apartment. “If you can’t, that’s okay, too, I’ll figure something else out, I just need to focus to get us back, alright?”

Lauren nodded, taking in a shaky breath. She didn’t want to be having a breakdown in public, but she hadn’t expected to be anywhere near her dad’s work, and there was no in hell she was ready to face him, though she knew the chances of that happening were slim. But still, the thought of just seeing him was enough to send her into a panic (and rightfully deserved, Camila would tell her).

Miraculously, Camila managed to get them back to their apartment, where Lauren finally broke down into a complete sobbing mess.

The younger girl went to pull Lauren into a hug, but the older girl only shoved her away, shaking her head. Lauren backed up against the couch, bringing her knees to her chest. Her breathing was erratic and uncontrollable, and tears streamed down her cheeks.

Camila was growing upset at the fact that she couldn’t get anywhere near Lauren to try and calm her down. The one weekend they had time to spend together as adults in weeks and she fucked it up by taking Lauren near her dad’s work.

Seeing Lauren’s continued sobbing, the brunette hurried to her purse, digging out her phone. She went to her contacts, blindly picking one of the women’s names and pressing call.

“Hey, Mila,” Ally’s slightly concerned voice greeted. “Everything alright?”

“No, it not,” Camila answered through a choked sob, and she could feel herself slipping. 

“Mila, baby, calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”

The younger girl inhaled, shakily letting out the breath. “W-we were going to th-the animal shelter, an’ we passed Mr. Jauregui’s work building,” she explained, still trying to fight back small sobs. “Lo was afr-raid of seeing him, and she started panicking. And I got her back to the ap-partment but now I can’t get her to calm down. I not know what to do, Momma.”

“You did good calling me, baby. I’m going to get the other two and we’ll be there soon, alright?” Ally asked, and it sounded like she was moving around.

“How I ‘elp Lolo?” Camila asked, sniffling. 

“Will she let you near her?” 

“Nuh uh. Tried.”

“Okay, sweetheart, we’re on our way now. We’ll be there soon. Just stay on the phone with me, and tell me if Lauren calms down before we get there.”

Camila didn’t think that would happen. Lauren was still curled up with her back pressed to the couch, her head in her knees and her hands pressed to the side of her head. She was still sobbing, although the gut wrenching noise didn’t sound as bad, but that just could be because the older girl’s breathing still sounded out of control. Camila really wished she could do more, but Lauren wouldn’t let her near her, and she herself was struggling not to slip completely because she needed to make sure Lauren was okay. This was just like after she had found out about Lauren’s accident; she  _ knew _ she needed to slip, but she couldn’t, she needed to help Lauren first.

Finally, and she didn’t know how long it had been, Camila heard Ally say from the other end of the phone, “Okay, Mila, we’re just outside the building. We’ll be there in less than a minute.”

The brunette didn’t respond, and when a knock on the door sounded a few moments later, she dropped her phone and ran to the door. When she had it opened, she flung herself into the first person standing there, who happened to be Normani, and let sobs rip out of her body.

“It’s alright, baby, we’re here now, it’ll be alright,” the older woman murmured, picking the girl up and patting her back soothingly. 

“I not a’le to ‘elp, Mommy,” Camila cried, burying her face in Normani’s shoulder.

“No, baby, you did so good,” Ally promised, laying a hand on the younger girl’s back. “You called me, remember? And now we’re here, and we’ll make sure Lauren is okay. You did so good baby,” she reiterated, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple before going over to Lauren.

Kneeling down in front of the older girl, Ally attempted to gently grab her shoulder, but Lauren only flinched and moved away.

Shaking her head, the green eyed girl only started bawling harder. “No, no, no wan’,” she cried, backing away further as Ally moved a little bit closer.

The older woman held her hands up in a placating gesture, nodding. “Okay, baby, I’m not going to move. I’ll stay right here.”

Lauren just shook her head. “No wan’.”

“Alright, Lauren, tell me what you want. I can’t help you if I don’t know what it is you want.”

The raven haired girl just shook her head. She couldn’t think. There were too many thoughts racing through her mind. She wanted so many things, but she couldn’t say any of them, she couldn’t get the words out. Except, there was one thing she could say.

“Wan’ Mama,” she croaked, barely holding back another round of sobs. She looked up at Ally pleadingly, her eyes red-rimmed and the green dulled to a gray color. “Wan’ Mama, p’ease. Nee’ Mama,” she begged.

Ally gasped, looking over to Normani and Dinah, who were still trying to console Camila and had stilled any movements. “Dinah, she needs you,” the oldest woman said after a moment.

Normani was the first to recover, shaking her head slightly. She turned to the younger blonde, who was still unmoving. “Dinah, Lauren needs you,  _ now _ ,” she stated. “Dinah, you need to go to her.”

The younger woman finally shook her head, getting up to move to the other two. She was still in disbelief. She didn’t expect Lauren to call her ‘Mama’, and she definitely didn’t expect to be called it first; she thought that would have been Ally. Still, she couldn’t help the feeling of warmth and excitement at hearing it. But then she took a look at the sight of Lauren, and her heart broke. The girl looked miserable, with her tear-stained face and her nose running and her heaving chest. Dinah just wanted to grab the girl and hide her away from the world.

Sparing a glance at Normani, who was holding Camila, the girl finally beginning to calm down, Dinah gave the older woman a quick nod before walking over to the other two. She motioned for Ally to go over with Normani and Camila, and the older woman immediately obliged.

“Lauren, baby girl, I’m going to pick you up, alright?” the younger woman asked quietly, not wanting to startle the poor girl and make her even more upset.

Instead of a nod or verbal answer, Lauren threw herself onto the other woman, wrapping her arms around Dinah’s waist and burying her face in the woman’s chest.

“It’s alright, sweetheart, Mama’s here, it’ll be alright,” the blonde murmured (her heart was racing with the happiness she felt in being able to say that). She picked the smaller girl up and felt Lauren automatically hook her legs around her waist. “It’s alright, little one. Mama’s here, I’ve got you now, baby.” She looked over to Normani and Ally, who had managed to settle Camila down and get her to fall asleep. The younger blonde motioned her head towards the hallway before nodding down at the girl in her arms.

“Go, we’ve got Mila,” Normani agreed quietly, Ally nodding in agreement.

Dinah nodded, grabbed the backpack they had brought with some of the girls’ little items, then made her way down the short hallway. She peeked into the first room, but knew it wasn’t Lauren’s bedroom by the mess of clothes lying on the floor (that and the pillowcases were decorated in little bananas, definitely a give away the room was Camila’s). She made her way to the other bedroom, finding Lauren’s meticulously organized room. She walked over to the bed, slowly lowering herself onto it, letting Lauren cling tightly to her. She patted the girl’s bottom softly, realizing Lauren’s pants were slightly wet. 

The woman sighed, knowing it was going to be difficult to get Lauren to let go of her for even a few minutes.  Slowly, she sat up and set Lauren on her back, the girl sobbing even harder when she lost contact with the blonde. 

Dinah grabbed the backpack, grabbing a pacifier, a diaper, wipes, and a pair of pjs. “It’s alright, baby, I’m still here,” she soothed, brushing hair back from Lauren’s face and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

Lauren reached up, trying to grab the taller woman and bring her back. “No, no ‘o, no ‘o, no ‘eave, ‘ease,” she begged, reaching out desperately for the blonde.

“Baby, I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Dinah murmured, rubbing the smaller one’s tummy. “Mama’s not going anywhere. I’m just trying to help make you feel better, okay? Can you let Mama get you into a diaper, and maybe some comfier clothes? Is that okay, baby girl?”

Lauren didn’t exactly give a sign of agreement, but she did stop reaching out for her, so Dinah hurried to take that moment and gently peeled off the girl’s clothes (she didn’t know how comfortable Lauren would be with her taking off her sports bra, so she left that on). She quickly wiped the girl off, then slipped the diaper around her bottom, quickly taping it up and making sure it was on securely. When she went to help Lauren into the pjs, the girl started getting restless again, reaching up and making grabbing motions. 

Dinah didn’t see the harm, and then remembered that Lauren had seemed to really enjoy skin on skin contact, so she took her own shirt off before climbing back on the bed, letting the smaller girl throw herself onto her.

“Alright baby, I’m not going anywhere this time,” the blonde promised, tapping the girl’s back softly. “I’m not going anywhere, just get comfortable, baby.”

The smaller girl shifted multiple times, trying to find a good position. She laid with her back to the blonde’s chest, but let out a small whine, moving again. She laid her head on Dinah’s right shoulder, before grunting and moving down to rest her head near the woman’s breast. Still not finding a good position, she tried the same with Dinah’s left shoulder, whining when she found the same result. 

Finally, the blonde sighed, grabbing Lauren and gently adjusting them so the girl had her head nestled in the crook of her elbow, almost like she was supporting a baby. That must have been the right spot, because almost immediately, Lauren settled down, curling into the woman, her bawling finally dying down. Dinah sighed gratefully, happy to see the girl was finally calming down. She reached for the pacifier on the nightstand, feeling the smaller one tense at the movement. 

“I’m not going anywhere, little one. I promised, remember?” Receiving a nod of confirmation, she continued, “I’m just getting your paci. Do you want it?” She held the item out for Lauren to take.

Lauren shook her head, turning her head into the woman’s side, pushing the offered object away. Instead, she nuzzled into Dinah’s side, bringing her hand up to push slightly on the blonde’s side, swatting her hand away when the woman tried to get her to stop. She brought her other hand and began tugging at the woman’s bra strap, kicking her feet and grunting slightly when she didn’t seem to get the result she wanted. Digging her toes into Dinah’s calf, she huffed, and pushed away slightly before going back to tugging at the other woman’s bra.

Dinah’s eyes widened, realizing what it was that Lauren wanted. “Do you want to nurse, baby? Is that what you want?”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-sexual nursing in this chapter.

Dinah’s heart was beating so fast she thought it would actually explode. She was ready for this, she just didn’t expect Lauren to be ready. Since the very first time they had met, Dinah knew she would do everything in her power to protect the girl tucked into her side, and Camila, too. She couldn’t help it, the two younger girls were so innocent and precious, Lauren especially. 

If she was honest, Lauren was her tiny little baby, though the girl probably wouldn’t be happy to hear that. But it was the truth; Lauren had different needs in her headspace than Camila, and she really was just a baby.

The tugging of her bra broke her from her thoughts, and she looked down to see Lauren frustratedly tugging at it, the girl’s toes digging sharply into her calf. “Alright, alright, baby, you need to stop, you’re kind of hurting my leg,” she reprimanded softly, pushing the smaller one’s foot back with her leg.  “Are you sure you want to do this, baby?” she questioned, needing to make sure this wasn’t just some rash decision made because Lauren was upset. “I need a verbal answer, little one.”

Lauren nodded, pushing slightly on the side of the blonde’s ribcage. “‘Es, Mama,” she replied. 

Dinah nodded, letting out a nervous breath. She’d never done anything like this, she didn’t quite know what to think. She wanted to, yes, she had no doubts about that. But what if it was uncomfortable for her and she couldn’t give Lauren the intimacy it gave and she so obviously craved? She knew it would hurt, but what if hurt too much she couldn’t do it? Or what if Lauren ended up being too uncomfortable with it and shut her out? The thought of the girl hating her made her heart hurt, she couldn’t lose her baby over this.

“Alright, baby, come here,” the blonde murmured, pulling the girl closer. She was nervous as hell. If she ended up not being comfortable and couldn’t continue, she felt like she’d be letting Lauren down. And on the other hand, if Lauren decided it wasn’t something she wanted, she’d respect her preference, but she herself would be slightly devastated.

“Okay, alright, baby,” she said quietly, letting out a nervous breath. She was ready, she was. She just didn’t quite know how to start. Well, actually, she did, but it required being able to lean over the side of the bed, something she didn’t think the girl on top of her would allow.

“Sweetheart, I need to get something out of the bag. Can you let me do that?” she questioned softly, running a hand through the girl’s dark hair.

Lauren shook her head, nuzzling her head into the woman’s side and gripping her tighter. “‘O, ‘ay, Mama,” she mumbled. 

“I’m not leaving,” Dinah assured. “I’m not. But, I have your blanket in the bag, I bet you might want that, huh?”

Lauren nodded, but didn’t let go when Dinah tried to move.

“Now how am I supposed to get your blanket if you’re still attached to me like a bug, hmm?” 

Lauren only hugged her tighter in response.

“Well then, you are now my little lovebug,” Dinah said, pressing a kiss to the top of the girl’s head. She moved once again, feeling Lauren release her just enough that she could lean over the edge of the bed. She playfully glared at the smaller girl. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”

The smaller one just shook her head, and Dinah swears she felt the girl smirking. 

Narrowing her eyes, the woman replied, “Two can play this game, squirt. Fine then, I’m not getting your blankie, and there will be no cuddles.”

Lauren gasped, shaking her head. She looked up with pleading eyes. “‘O, you ‘et, Mama. I ‘et you ‘et.” She immediately let go of the taller woman.

Dinah laughed victoriously. “We’re still going to cuddle, baby, I would never actually take them away,” she promised, sending the girl a reassuring smile. She leaned over to grab the bag, pulling the elephant blanket out before returning to her spot and laying them both down. She took the blanket and tucked one side under Lauren before draping the rest of it across them both, letting the girl settle on top of her chest.

Lauren moved her hand and hesitantly placed it on the woman’s chest, just over her ribcage. She looked up shyly, unsure of what she was allowed to do.

“Whatever you want, baby. We’ll go at your pace. You’re in control here,” Dinah murmured, taking the girl’s hand and squeezing it softly.

The green eyed girl nodded, taking her hand and running it up and down the woman’s stomach. After a few moments, she slowly, carefully ran her hand over the woman’s sports bra, tugging slightly at the cup.

Dinah took a second to take a steady breath, feeling her heart pounding, before looking softly at the girl. “You ready, lovebug?” she asked quietly, bringing one of her hands to Lauren’s. 

The girl just made a slight noise of impatience, but stopped almost immediately, not wanting to risk Dinah not letting her try because she was being too demanding. 

The blonde only smiled warmly, chuckling softly. “You’re just an impatient baby, aren’t you?” she teased lightly. She slowly helped the girl pull her bra cup away, revealing her breast. “Okay, if you decide you don’t want to, that’s fine, baby, you don’t have to. But if you do decide to latch, just know it’s not exactly like your pacifier, so no biting, please. You don’t want to hurt Mama, no?”

Lauren shook her head fervently. “‘O wan’ ‘urt Mama,” she agreed quietly. 

She gingerly reached out, taking the woman’s nipple and twiddled it between her fingers. It was odd, she decided as she studied it curiously. It was a lot softer than her pacifier, but in a way she couldn’t explain. It was weird, but she liked it. 

Dinah smiled as she watched the smaller girl. She was still nervous, but seeing how calm and relaxed Lauren looked made her relax, too. There was something about seeing her baby so calm and peaceful that made her resolve to do this strengthen. Feeling a slight tug on her other hand, she looked to see Lauren looking at her timidly, as if almost afraid to actually try.

“It’s alright, little one,” she murmured, slightly nudging the girl closer. “If you want to do it, go for it. If you don’t, say the word and we can stop. This is all you, baby. The choice is yours.”

The smaller girl nodded, and relaxed slightly. Slowly, and with Dinah’s help, she was able to latch. Whatever hesitations she had disappeared as soon as she latched, and soon she was eagerly suckling.

Dinah winced, a sharp pain shooting up. It wasn’t as bad as she feared it might be, but it definitely wasn’t comfortable. Part of it was Lauren’s eager suckling, but the girl also didn’t latch properly, which Dinah couldn’t blame her for. Slowly, she adjusted until she felt a bit of relief, letting out a small sigh. It still wasn’t painless, she could occasionally feel Lauren biting her slightly (she knew it would happen, and really it was more of an occasional pinch than it was an actual bite), and the feeling of the girl suckling would take some getting used to. Eventually, she adjusted their positioning so that Lauren was more properly latched, though it still wasn’t perfect, but she knew it would take some practice to get it completely correct.

Dinah swore she could physically see all of the tension and stress leave Lauren’s body, and she felt the girl completely relax in her arms. The constant suckling motions and seeing how peaceful her baby was made any and all fears and trepidations dissipate from within herself, and her own posture began to relax until the two were lying in a metaphorical blanket of peaceful bliss.

The taller woman wasn’t aware of much beyond the suckling noises coming from the smaller girl and the slight tugging of her breast. God, she didn’t expect to feel as much happiness and sense of calm as she did. Honestly she didn’t understand why she was so nervous about this. There was nothing to worry about.

After some time of the two just lying there on the bed, Dinah felt Lauren suddenly release the latch she had, and shift until her head was resting on the blonde’s chest, letting out a drowsy sigh. 

“‘Ove ‘ou, Mama,” she mumbled sleepily, dropping off into sleep within seconds.

Dinah just barely managed to hold back a scream of pure ecstasy. She pulled the girl closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you, too, baby,” she whispered, feeling a couple of tears leak down her cheek. 

Carefully, she pulled Lauren’s comforter over the two of them, just in case one of the others walked in. With a final blissful smile, she followed her baby into sleep, holding Lauren tightly to her chest.

(When Ally and Normani checked on them later, the sight of the two napping on the bed was enough for the older two to decide they couldn’t be mad at Dinah for pushing Lauren like she had.)


	26. Chapter 26

Dinah woke up to the feeling of someone gently shaking her shoulder. Frowning, she peered up through bleary eyes to see Ally standing at the side of the bed, smiling softly at her.

“Hey, you guys have been asleep for a good two hours, I figured I’d come check on you,” the older woman explained quietly. “Mani and I made lunch, I think it’d be best to get Lauren up now so that she can sleep later.”

Dinah nodded and began to sit up before remembering neither her nor Lauren were wearing shirts. Which wasn’t a problem for her, but Lauren might not be comfortable after the morning’s events. “Mind giving us some privacy? Lauren doesn’t have a shirt on and I don’t want her to wake up and freak out.”

Ally nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door as she went.

Dinah lifted the blanket, tossing it to the side of the bed. She sighed, seeing the scarring on Lauren’s back. Slowly, she traced a few of the marks, wishing she could take away all of the girl’s pain.

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, slowly opening her eyes. She looked up sleepily at the blonde.

“Hi, lovebug. Sleep well?” Dinah asked softly, patting the girl’s bottom.

The smaller girl yawned and buried her face into the woman’s shoulder, attempting to go back to sleep.

“Nuh uh, sorry, bub, but you need to get up,” Dinah stated, laughing slightly as Lauren only shook her head. “Yes, Ally and Mani-” she so desperately wanted to say ‘Mommy and Momma’ but she wasn’t sure how the younger one would react to that “-have lunch ready and we want you to be able to sleep tonight.”

Lauren sighed, but nodded. 

“Are you okay, Lauren?” the blonde questioned concernedly, noticing the girl hadn’t uttered a single word. “Did I do something wrong, sweets?” 

Lauren shook her head, wrapping her arms around the woman’s torso and hid her face in Dinah’s neck. 

The taller woman soothingly rubbed the girl’s back, hugging her gently. “You don’t have to say anything right now, alright? How about we go eat, and then afterwards we can talk about it. Does that sound good?” she suggested. 

The girl nodded, and the blonde sighed in relief. She was a little worried about Lauren’s silence, but put it up to Lauren not quite knowing how to process all the emotions she might be feeling. She sat up slightly, earning a small whimper from the girl, but quietly shushed her.

“I’m just grabbing our clothes, baby,” she explained, grabbing a shirt from Lauren’s dresser and her own clothes from the floor. She quickly slipped her shirt on before helping the girl into one of her own. “No pants today I bet, huh?” she asked knowingly, earning a nod from the younger one.

Once Lauren had her shirt on, she shyly reached out to Dinah, silently asking to be picked up.

“Alrighty, squirt, let’s go get some food,” the woman replied, lifting the smaller one up and settling Lauren on her hip.

Dinah ventured out to the kitchen, seeing Camila and Normani sat at the small table eating turkey sandwiches and applesauce, which she had to stifle a laugh at how Camila seemed to get most of it on her face rather than in her mouth. 

The taller blonde smiled at Ally, who was stood at the counter making another plate, and walked to an empty chair, setting Lauren down.

However, the green eyed girl just shook her head and tightened her grasp on the woman, letting out a small whine of discontent.

Dinah looked between the older women, who only shrugged. “Alright then,” she murmured, sitting down in the chair herself and adjusting the girl into a comfortable position on her lap.

Ally walked over, setting a plate in front of the younger blonde. “I think Lauren doesn’t quite know how to handle her emotions, so just let her be clingy,” she said quietly. 

“I was getting kind of worried,” Dinah admitted. “She hasn’t said a word yet, I thought I did something wrong.”

The shorter woman shook her head. “I think there’s a lot going on in her thoughts right now, and you’re the one comfort she has right now. Just give her some time to settle and we can see if she’s ready to talk after lunch.”

The younger woman nodded as Ally went back to finishing preparing lunch. She grabbed one of the cut up sandwiches, offering it to the girl in her lap.

Lauren took the sandwich and began nibbling on it, keeping herself pressed as close to Dinah as possible.

Camila watched the two in silence, a slight frown on her face. She pushed her own plate near Normani and got out of her seat, climbing up onto the dark skinned woman’s lap. “Wan’ Mommy ‘uddles.”

Normani chuckled, wrapping an arm around the smaller girl to keep her from falling. “We were just cuddling while you napped, baby. But fine, you can have more cuddles.”

The smaller brunette giggled happily, curling up as she munched on a sandwich slice.

Ally watched the scene with a smile, happy to see Camila was going back to her normal exuberant self. It would take a bit more time for Lauren she was sure, but the fact that the older girl was letting Dinah hold her and not pushing the blonde away was a good sign. She was admittedly slightly jealous that she was missing out on cuddling with the little ones, but Camila always switched who was the favorite Mommy every couple of days (and Normani had always been her slightly more favorite even if the girl wouldn’t admit it) and Lauren needed to be with who she felt most comfortable with, so she wouldn’t say anything.

Lauren silently continued to eat, reveling in the feeling of safety she felt sitting with Dinah. She looked at her plate, a little upset to see she had only eaten about half her sandwich. She didn’t feel all that hungry, but that could just be because her thoughts were racing and she wasn’t quite sure how to get them to slow down.

She had felt so safe and loved, and if she’s completely honest with herself, she had felt so little and small and it was  _ so nice  _ and  _ perfect _ , but she didn’t know what to make of that. Before today, she had finally accepted that maybe there was some truth to Dinah implying she was a baby, but she refused to actually believe it was entirely true. But now, she was beginning to understand that really Dinah was right. She really didn’t want to, but she couldn’t deny it anymore.

Lauren really was just a baby in headspace. And truth be told, she was finding it wasn’t such a bad thing.

However, she didn’t know how to tell them that. While she knew the women wouldn’t have a problem with it, there was a small part of her that was worried they would decide she was too much of a hassle and they would no longer want to be her caregivers. And she  _ knew _ that was an irrational thought, because she had called Dinah ‘Mama’ and the woman didn’t yell at her, and there was just a rush of happiness and warmth in her tummy when she did it and it felt  _ perfect _ . Not to mention the fact that Dinah let her  _ nurse _ . There was no way the taller blonde would let her do that and then say she didn’t want to be Lauren’s Mama, right? 

Then there were Ally and Normani, who she wanted to call Momma and Mommy, too, but she didn’t know if she was allowed or when a good time to start was. To be fair, she didn’t exactly mean to call Dinah ‘Mama’ when she did, but she needed the blonde and it just slipped out. She wouldn’t take it back though.

“What are you thinking about, lovebug?” Dinah asked suddenly, breaking her from her thoughts.

Lauren just shrugged, laying her head on the woman’s shoulder.

Dinah checked the girl’s plate, seeing she had eaten about half of her lunch. “Are done, Lo?”

The green eyed girl nodded, turning her face into the crook of the blonde’s neck.

“Hmm, alright, but at dinner later I want you to eat a little bit more, alright?” Really, it probably wasn’t the best idea to not make Lauren eat more, but she didn’t want to push the girl right now.

Ally walked over and took their plates and Dinah stood, adjusting Lauren so she could carry the green eyed girl into the living room.

The moment the blonde sat down, Lauren burrowed into the woman’s side, not wanting to have the conversation she knew was coming. It wasn’t the conversation itself, but the fact that she didn’t know how to voice her thoughts. Honestly, it scared her slightly that she just felt so  _ little _ that she didn’t know if she could verbalize any of her thoughts.

“Hey, are you alright, sweets?” Dinah questioned softly, wiping away a few tears Lauren didn’t realize had spilled down her cheeks. 

The girl shook her head, letting out a small whine. She didn’t know how to tell the woman she couldn’t speak because she  _ couldn’t speak _ and it scared her. 

“Hey, Lo, baby, whatever it is that’s upsetting you, we can figure it out together, okay?” Dinah suggested, patting the girl’s back soothingly. 

“Dinah, what did you do? She was fine not even five minutes ago,” Normani teased as she walked in with Camila on her hip. 

“I didn’t do anything,” the younger woman argued, glaring at the dark skinned woman. “Lauren just got a little bit upset, but I’m not sure why, and I don’t know if she does either. I said we could figure it out together, right, Lauren?”

The older girl nodded, but didn’t raise her head from where she was hiding her face in the blonde’s shoulder.

“Maybe she’s just over loaded with emotions and can’t voice her thoughts,” Ally said as she finally entered the small living room, sitting on the coffee table in front of Lauren and Dinah. “It’s normal with littles, especially after extremely emotional moments, which Lauren has had a lot of in the last few days.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Dinah replied, pulling Lauren closer to her. “That’s alright, lovebug. We’ll figure it out together, alright?”

Lauren shyly looked up, seeing the three women looking at her encouragingly, Camila was more focused on the episode of Blue’s Clues that was quietly playing on the tv.

After a few moments she nodded, releasing a nervous breath. There wasn’t anything to be nervous about, she told herself, but still, she was. 

She just hoped the women would be able to help her make sense of her racing thoughts.


	27. Chapter 27

“Alright, Lauren, can we talk about what happened today?” Dinah asked gently as she set the smaller girl on the couch next to her, keeping a tight hold of her hand. 

Lauren let out a slight whimper, but gripped the blonde’s hand tightly.

“Lo, baby, it’s really important that we talk about this,” Normani stated softly, sitting next to the younger girl, making sure Camila was still preoccupied with the kids’ show on the tv. “Even if you don’t think you can talk, will you let us ask you questions, and nod or shake your head?”

The green eyed girl nodded. She could do that. At least until she could bring herself to actually speak.

“Sweetheart, have you spoken to your dad since you left to live with Camila?” All asked, looking at the girl seriously.

Lauren shook her head, hiding her face in Dinah’s neck as tears filled her eyes. She hated thinking about that night, it was the worst night of her life, and she tried her best not to think about it. 

“Hey, it’s alright, bug, you’re safe here,” Dinah whispered, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly, pulling Lauren back onto her lap. “You’re safe here, no one is going to hurt you here. We know you probably hate thinking about it, but it’s important that we know.”

“‘N wan’ see ‘im,” the raven haired girl mumbled, trying to get her breathing under control.

“You don’t have to, Lauren. No one is going to make you,” Ally promised. “It explains why she freaked out so badly, though,” she murmured to Normani, who nodded.

“No one is going to make you see him, Lauren. That’s a decision only you can make when you’re ready,” Dinah stated, patting the girl’s bottom softly, and it slowly helped calm Lauren down.

The girl’s tense posture slowly relaxed, and her fast breathing returned to normal. “No wan’,” she whispered, hiding her face in the crook of Dinah’s neck.

“We know that. We would never make you see him, Lauren. That decision is yours to make, not ours,” Normani reiterated, taking the girl’s hand and squeezing it softly.

“I think we need to find a way to help her actually cope with what happened when she was younger,” Dinah murmured softly, looking at her girlfriends. “I don’t think she’s actually dealt with it properly.”

“Isn’t that what her headspace is for though?” Normani reasoned, confusedly looking up. 

“Yeah, but I still think Lauren needs to actually deal with the trauma she experienced,” Ally argued. “We’ll talk about that later, though.”

Dinah nodded, gently urging Lauren to sit up. “Alright, baby girl, we can be done talking about that for now,” she said. “Do you think you can speak now, this part is really important?” 

Lauren sat up hesitantly, looking up at the younger blonde. “Trouble?” she whispered worriedly, hooking two fingers in her mouth. 

Ally shook her head, gently pulling the girl’s fingers from her mouth, holding out a pacifier instead. “No, baby, you’re not in trouble,” she assured. 

The green eyed girl hesitantly took the paci, slipping it into her mouth and slowly beginning to suckle on it, letting out a small sigh of relief.

“But we wanted to talk to you about nursing, sweets, but you and I can go and talk about that privately if we need to,” Dinah stated carefully, not wanting to embarrass Lauren in front of the others. 

The smaller girl shrugged, leaning back into the blonde. “I ‘ike,” she admitted shyly, a slight blush rising in her face.

Dinah grinned, hugging the girl closer to her. “I’m happy to hear that, baby. Is it something you’d want again?” she asked, lifting Lauren’s chin to look at her in the eyes.

The smaller one shrugged. “No know,” she admitted.

“That specific question might be better for big Lauren,” Ally pointed out.

Dinah nodded. “Lovebug, do you think after dinner that you can be big for a little bit?” she asked, facing Lauren. “It won’t be for long, unless you want to be out of headspace when we’re done.”

Lauren nodded after a moment of thinking. The women noticed her eyes would shift over to Camila and the tv, and they decided to leave the rest of the conversation for later. 

“Alright, little one, go join Mila over there, we’ll talk later,” Normani said, pulling the girl up from the couch.

“Wait. Lauren, do you need a change, baby?” Dinah questioned.

The green eyed girl blushed profusely and looked away, nodding.

“Thank you for being honest, sweets,” Ally said, kissing the girl’s cheek. “Will you let Mama change you?” she asked, giving Dinah a teasing look.

Lauren nodded, holding out her arms to the taller blonde, signalling she wanted to be picked up. Dinah scooped her up and carried her down the hall to her bedroom, setting her on the bed.

The woman grabbed the wipes and a fresh diaper from the bag they had left in the room, and slowly began to untape the sides of Lauren’s diaper.

The girl wiggled a bit at the coldness of the wipes, then tried to scoot away when Dinah went to put the clean diaper.

“Now where do you think you’re going, missy?” Dinah questioned, grabbing the girl’s leg and gently pulling her back. 

Lauren shook her head, giggling. “Nuh uh.” She pushed Dinah’s hands away, scooting back once more.

“Hey, now, Ally will only let me get away with letting you go without pants,” the blonde stated, grabbing Lauren’s legs and pulling her back. She set one hand on the girl’s stomach and kept the other on her legs. “Are you going to let me put this diaper on are you going to try and play escape artist?”

Lauren pouted, but nodded. “‘Ay, Mama. I s’ay.”

Dinah smiled, kissing the girl’s cheek. “Thank you, baby.” She quickly slipped the diaper under the girl’s waist and taped the sides, then disposed of the soiled items. When she returned, Lauren had rolled herself up in her blanket, holding Nala tightly to her chest. “You are absolutely ridiculous, you know that? I was gone not even a minute.”

The green eyed girl shrugged. “‘Ala cuddle ‘etter.”

The blonde gasped in mock offense. “I don’t believe you. No way does Nala give better cuddles than me.”

Lauren nodded. “Uh huh, she ‘oes.”

“Nope, nope, I refuse to believe that,” Dinah replied, scooping the girl up. “Now come on. I need to talk to Ally and Mani, but when I’m done I’ll show you that I am indeed better at cuddling than Nala.”

She made her way back to the living room and gently set Lauren next to Camila, leaving the two to watch tv. She motioned for the two older women to follow her, and walked down the hall a bit, making sure that the two girls were still in sight.

“Are you guys okay that Lauren called me ‘Mama’ but didn’t do that for you guys?” she asked quietly, looking at the two worriedly.

Normani smiled softly, taking the taller blonde’s hand and squeezing it assuredly. “It’s fine, Dinah. Honestly, we’re not surprised.”

“She’ll start calling us ‘Momma’ and ‘Mommy’ eventually, but she’s comfortable enough with you to do it now,” Ally added. “Remember with Camila, it took a bit after she started calling Normani ‘Mommy’ for her to do that with us? It’s the same thing with Lauren.”

“I just don’t want you guys to be upset,” Dinah murmured, looking at the floor. 

Normani shook her head. “We’re not upset, Dinah, don’t worry about it. Lauren has spent a lot of time getting close with you, and that’s okay. You’re who she finds the most comfort and safety with. Camila switches up who her favorite out of us is every couple of days, but right now you are Lauren’s favorite.”

Ally nodded in agreement. “Lauren will be like that with us, Mani and I just need to be patient,” she said. She looked at the younger blonde seriously. “How was trying to nurse?”

“I don’t know how to describe it,” Dinah answered honestly. “Lauren was so upset and she couldn’t calm down, and then I was getting upset because she was, and it was just really stressful. But then, as soon as she latched, I could feel all of her stress and frustrations just melt away, and she calmed down immediately. And it was weird because as soon as she did, I did, too.”

“That’s normal,” the oldest woman stated. “It’s common with mothers who nurse with their babies, but it can also happen with littles and their caregiver, especially if the little didn’t get that intimacy as a child. Both of your emotions are in tune with each other, and when you’re in an intimate moment like that, whatever she feels, you feel, and vice versa.”

Dinah looked at the oldest woman in awe. “How does that even happen?”

Ally only shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Lauren feels safest and most comfortable with you, and, whether she realizes it or not, most of her defenses come down when she’s with you. It’s a good thing, Dinah.”

The taller woman nodded, smiling shyly. “And you’re not upset about it?”

“I mean I thought Ally was going to be the one she was closest with at first, but I’m not completely surprised,” Normani stated with a shrug.

“I’m not upset,” the shorter blonde assured. “Don’t worry about it, and take it as the good thing it is.”

Dinah nodded, letting out a relieved breath. “Yeah, yeah okay.”

“Alright, let’s go watch tv with the girls for a bit and then figure out what to do for dinner,” Ally said, turning to walk back out to the living room. “I’m not sure if the girls will want to stay here for the rest of the weekend, but we can figure that out later, too.”

Dinah nodded, walking past the two older women determinedly. “I need to prove to Lauren I’m better at cuddling then Nala,” she mumbled under her breath, earning cackles from the other two.

\-------------

After dinner, while Normani and Ally cleaned up with help from Camila (both girls were out of headspace and dressed in normal clothing). Dinah and Lauren sat on the couch, the green eyed girl fidgeting nervously.

“Lauren, are you okay?” the blonde questioned quietly, reaching for the girl’s hand. “Specifically with what happened in your room?”

Lauren blushed, looking down. “Um, it, it was really nice,” she mumbled shyly. 

“Is it something you really want?”

The raven haired girl shrugged. “Not like all the time,” she admitted, glancing over at the woman. “It was nice, but I don’t think I want it all the time. Maybe, maybe when I need like, really close contact? I don’t know,” she explained nervously, not quite sure how to explain it. 

“So kind of like today?” Dinah clarified. “When you’re really upset and you need close, intimate contact to calm down?” 

Lauren nodded. “Yes, like that. I don’t know, I don’t need it, but there are times where I feel like cuddling isn’t enough and I just want to be super close and I can’t get that by just cuddling. But if you don’t want it-”

“Lauren, sweets, it’s okay,” the taller woman cut off the girl’s rambling. “I understand what you mean. So it won’t be an everyday thing, just when you tell me or show signs of wanting it,” she replied, wrapping an arm around the smaller girl, bringing her into a side hug.

Lauren sighed in relief that the blonde understood, nuzzling into the blonde’s neck.

“See, I am better at cuddling than Nala, aren’t I?” Dinah teased, ruffling the girl’s dark hair.

Lauren’s cheeks flushed, and she hid her face into the crook of the woman’s neck.

Dinah laughed loudly, hugging the girl tightly. “Come on, Lo. Let’s go figure out what we’re doing for the rest of the weekend,” she said, standing up. “You and Camila can stay here if you want, but you’re also welcome to come back with us, too.”

Lauren nodded and followed the blonde into the kitchen where the others were. 

She wanted to spend the rest of the weekend with Camila, hopefully making up for the emotional day that morning had turned into. But even if she went with the three women, that would be okay, too, she decided. But she’d wait to see what Camila wanted to do before making any decisions.

 


	28. Chapter 28

Lauren knocked on the front door, waiting for one of the women to answer. She'd been told before that she didn't need to knock, but she felt weird just walking into the house. 

Honestly, she had been debating if she really wanted to come over that day. She wasn’t feeling too well; she hadn’t slept very well and her stomach seemed to be doing somersaults, and she just didn’t know if it was the greatest idea to be there at the moment. She was just glad she only had to work a half day at the library.

"Hi, Lauren," Ally greeted as she opened the door, halting Lauren’s thoughts. "You don't have to knock, you can just come in. It's not a problem."

Lauren shrugged, shyly walking past the shorter woman. "I don't know. What if, what if you're busy and, and I can't come over?" she asked quietly.

The older woman smiled softly, taking Lauren's hand in her own. "Lauren, sweetheart, if there was ever a time where you couldn't come over, we would tell you beforehand," she assured, giving the girl's hand a gentle squeeze. "It really isn't a problem for you to let yourself in. Camila does it all the time. We even gave her a key."

The girl nodded. "Okay," she mumbled, not looking up. She probably wouldn’t ever let herself in, and Ally seemed to know that, too, but she let the subject drop.

She led Lauren into the kitchen where Normani and Camila making lunch (Camila was more just sneaking pieces of strawberries than she was actually helping make sandwiches).

“Hey, Lauren, how are you?” the dark skinned woman asked as the green eyed girl took a seat at the counter.

The girl only shrugged, not looking up, and mumbled, “Good.”

Normani and Ally exchanged concerned looks. The girl seemed to be more quiet and reserved than usual.

“Why does it need to be me?” they heard Dinah ask as she entered the kitchen, a slight frown on her face. “Why not one of the others?” She sighed frustratedly after a few moments, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Fine, but you’re paying for it,” she grumbled. “Oh my god, you did this on purpose, I swear,” she muttered, ending the call. She set her phone on the counter, letting out another annoyed sigh and laying her head in her hands, leaning onto the counter.

“What’s up?” Ally asked cautiously, not wanting to upset the younger blonde anymore than she already was.

“I’m needed back home for my dad’s business,” Dinah explained. “And I am apparently the only one that can be there, because I supposedly know business more than any of my other siblings.”

“And that’s a problem because?” Normani asked, dragging out the last word.

“Because I need to be there for tomorrow night and the only flight out tonight is in four hours.”

“Shit,” the dark skinned woman muttered, earning a small glare from Ally.

“Yeah. I don’t even want to go, but apparently it’s ‘vital for the company’,” she said, making air quotes with her hands. “It’s complete bs honestly. My dad had the flight booked and everything.”

Ally shook her head. “Go pack, we’ll handle the girls.”

Dinah sighed, then felt a small tug on her shirt. She turned to see Lauren looking at her shyly. “Yeah, baby?” she asked, smiling slightly.

“Cuddle, Mama?” the green eyed girl requested quietly, kicking the floor softly.

The taller blonde sighed sadly, shaking her head. “Not today, sweets. I have to leave for a few days, and I don’t have time,” she explained apologetically, brushing Lauren’s hair back. 

Lauren pouted, shaking her head. “No, stay, p’ease?” she pleaded, looking up with wide eyes. She just wanted to cuddle with her Mama, that would make her feel a lot better.

“I want to, baby, but I can’t,” the older woman replied sadly, hugging the girl tightly. “I have to leave for a few days, but Ally and Mani will still be here, okay?”

“Nuh uh, wan’ Mama,” Lauren mumbled, clinging tighter to the blonde. She didn’t feel well, and now her Mama was leaving, and she really wanted to cry now. “P’ease, no go.”

“I’m sorry baby,” Dinah whispered, pressing a kiss to top of the girl’s head. “But I’ll try to come home as soon as possible.” She smiled sadly at both girls before walking out of the kitchen, leaving the two alone with Normani and Ally once again.

Camila watched the interaction with a frown. She was upset Dinah would be gone, but Lauren seemed especially upset. She also noticed Lauren was a lot more quiet, and while Lauren wasn’t overactive like herself, Camila knew something was wrong. 

“Okay, Lolo?” the younger girl asked as she stood next to the green eyed girl.

The older girl only shrugged, going to sit at the table. She was upset. She had just gotten comfortable calling Dinah ‘Mama’ and now the woman was leaving, and she didn’t feel well and she just wanted cuddles with her Mama. 

This day really sucked.

Normani set two plates with peanut butter and banana sandwiches and some strawberries on the table. “Alright, babes, here you. When you’re done eating we can go watch a movie.”

Camila immediately began eating, while Lauren only sat and looked at her plate. 

“Lauren, baby, you need to eat,” Ally said softly.

The older girl just shook her head, pushing her plate away. “Nuh uh,” she mumbled.

The older blonde sighed. “Lauren, you need to.” She pushed the plate back in front of the green eyed girl.

Lauren huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “‘ot ‘ungry,” she grumbled, pushing the plate away.

Normani and Ally shared concerned looks, then the younger woman shrugged.

“Fine, but if you’re hungry later you’re eating it,” she said, taking the plate and setting it in the fridge. 

Lauren quickly stood from her seat, walking out of the kitchen. She walked upstairs, planning to go to her room to grab her blanket and paci, hoping those would comfort her a bit. As she passes the master bedroom, she saw Dinah in the room, packing. She tentatively knocked on the door, causing the blonde to look up.

“Hey, love bug,” the older woman greeted, smiling. “Come here, I’m all done,” she said, closing her suitcase and zipping it up.

The raven haired girl rushed into the room, attaching herself to Dinah’s side. “No wan’ ‘eave, Mama,” she stated, her voice muffled by the taller woman’s shirt.

“I know, little one,” Dinah said softly, hugging the girl tightly. She picked Lauren up and moved to sit on the bed.  “I don’t want to leave. But unfortunately, I have to.” She mumbled something that sounded like ‘family’s a bunch of assholes’ under her breath, but Lauren couldn’t be sure. “I’ll be back by Sunday, though.”

Lauren whined, shaking her head. It was Thursday, that meant three whole days without her Mama, plus the rest of that afternoon.

“Can you do me a really big favor?” Dinah asked quietly, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly. “I’m assuming you’re going to stay here for the weekend, yes?”

The smaller girl hesitated, but nodded after a moment. She wasn’t happy Dinah was leaving, but she also didn’t want to stay at the apartment alone if she wasn’t feeling well.

“Alright, now, can you be good for Ally and Mani?” the blonde requested. “I know you’re upset that I’m not going to be here, but Ally and Normani will be, and I need you to be good for them, alright?” 

Lauren nodded, holding onto the other woman tighter. “‘Kay, Mama.”

Dinah smiled, pressing a kiss to the girl’s cheek. “Good. I will be very upset if I hear you weren’t good. I know you can be.” She lifted Lauren off her lap, standing up reluctantly. “Come on, squirt. I think it’s probably close to the time I should be leaving,” she murmured, holding a hand out for the girl and grabbing her suitcase with the other.

Lauren sighed, following the other woman out of the room. 

She was not looking forward to the next few days.


	29. Chapter 29

Lauren was curled up on the couch under blanket, holding Nala tightly to her chest. Ally had taken Dinah to the airport, the younger blonde saying something about “not wanting to deal with your maniac driving, Mani”.

The green eyed girl was still upset about Dinah’s sudden departure. The rational part of her mind knew that things like this could happen, but her little self hated the sudden, unexpected change in routine. Add not feeling very well to the mix, and she wasn’t in the best of moods. 

Normani walked into the living room, breaking the girl from her thoughts. “Lauren, sweets, do you need a change?” she asked gently, sitting in the spot next to the younger one.

Ally had helped her into a diaper earlier (that was still taking a little bit of used to, even with Dinah), and she knew it should probably be changed, but she really didn’t want one right now. 

“Nuh uh, not need,” Lauren mumbled, pulling her blanket around her tighter, making sure the older woman couldn’t check her diaper.

“Lauren, if you need a new diaper, it’s important we change it as soon as possible,” the dark skinned woman stated, giving the younger one a serious look. “I know it’s still taking time to get used to, but we don’t want you getting a rash.”

The raven haired girl only shook her head, curling up tighter. “Nuh uh, no want.”

Normani sighed, laying her face in her hands for a moment. She hoped Ally would be back soon, not understanding why Lauren was being a little more stubborn than normal. She knew Lauren was upset about Dinah having to leave suddenly, but she had didn’t it would be too rough of a weekend. She just hoped Lauren’s stubbornness didn’t last the whole time Dinah was away.

Eventually, she stood up, and turned to face Lauren. “Lauren, please, don’t fight me on this.”

The green eyed girl groaned, but finally nodded. She reluctantly sat up, muttering, “‘aiper’s a stupid asshole,” under her breath. 

Camila, who had sitting on the floor watching tv, gasped as Normani froze. “Lolo sayed a bad word, Mommy!”

The older woman looked to the older girl sternly, noticing Lauren was staring like a deer caught in headlights. “Lauren, you know swearing is not allowed, yes?” she asked.

Lauren nodded sullenly, looking at the floor. “‘es,  is bad,” she agreed. “But Mama sayded it a’fore she lef’.”

Normani groaned, rolling her eyes. Of course Dinah said it. “Lauren, just because Mama says it, does not mean you get to repeat it,” she scolded softly, yet her tone held a sternness to it. “When you’re big and not with us, that’s a different story. But here, when you’re little, swearing is not allowed.”

“I sorry,” the green eyed girl whispered, clenching her eyes closed tightly. She knew what was coming next. She broke a rule, and she was going to get a punishment. 

She just hoped Normani didn’t kick her out as punishment. 

“Do you remember what we set as your punishments?” the older woman questioned. “No spanking, that was the biggest no,” she continued before Lauren could answer. “I think a two minute time out is enough.”

Lauren snapped her eyes open, looking up at Normani with wide, startled eyes. “I no haf to leave?” 

The dark skinned woman frowned, tilting her head slightly. “Why would you have to leave?”

“I bwoke a ‘ule,” Lauren answered. “I bad.”

Normani shook her head fervently. “No, sweets, you’re not bad. And you don’t have to leave,” she assured, and took Lauren’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Lauren let out a relieved breath. She wasn’t going to get kicked out, that was good. 

“Alright, come on, let’s go get you changed, and then you’ll have your time out,” she said, leading the girl upstairs to her room. 

“Nuh uh, no change,” Lauren said as they reached the bedroom, pushing back from the woman and stomping her foot slightly. 

Normani sighed disappointedly, hoping to have been past this part. “Lauren, please.”

The girl only shook her head, crossing her arms petulantly.

“Lauren,” Normani stated more sternly, gazing intently at the girl.

The two were in a small staring contest when Ally appeared at the top of the staircase. “Everything alright?” she asked. “Mila mentioned something about diaper changes and a time out.”

“No wan’ change,” Lauren grumbled, slightly stomping her foot once again.

“Lauren said a swear word earlier. Apparently she heard it from Dinah,” Normani added.

The oldest woman nodded, glancing between the two. “I see. Lauren, is your diaper wet?” she questioned, facing the girl.

Lauren squirmed, from the questioning look Ally was giving her, but also from the fact that she did, in fact, need a diaper change. “Es,” she mumbled.

“Okay, and you know that it needs to be changed as quickly as possible, yes?”

Lauren sighed, but gave Ally a nod. She looked to Normani apologetically. “‘Elp, p’ease?” she asked, unsure if the dark skinned woman would want to anymore.

Normani nodded, smiling softly. “Yeah, come on, squirt.” She held a hand out to the younger girl, who took it.

They walked into the room, and Lauren slowly laid down on the bed.

“I sorry I bad,” she whispered, not looking directly at Normani.

“You’re not bad, Lauren,” the older woman promised. “Stubborn? Yes. But you’re not bad. You’ve never been bad.”

The younger one nodded, but still didn’t look up. 

Normani made quick work of changing the girl, not wanting to cause too much embarrassment. Lauren had to admit it did feel nice being in a clean diaper. 

Now though, she knew the time out was coming, and she was not looking forward to it much. It was better than the alternative, though.

“Come on, sweets,” Normani spoke up, having finished cleaning up. “The sooner it’s over, the sooner we can cuddle, right?”

That sounded nice, Lauren thought. Especially since her stomach seemed to be twisting into knots and it hurt and really she just wanted to lay down. Normani guided her to the corner of the room, having her face the wall. 

“Okay, two minutes, remember?” she asked, earning a nod from the smaller one. “That should be enough time for me to go find the  _ Lion King  _ DVD and get it set up,” she explained. “Ally and I will be downstairs, and Camila is with us, too, alright? Don’t move from that spot, and I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Lauren nodded, shifting on her feet. She could handle two minutes. Normani and Ally were downstairs, and really, two minutes wasn’t that long. She could handle it.

At least, she could until her stomach decided to churn and she suddenly felt nauseous. She knew she needed to stay where she was, but she also didn’t want to make a mess in her room.

Deciding she’d rather face a longer time out, she bolted for the bathroom, just making it in time to not make a mess of herself or the floor.

“Lauren, sweetheart?” Ally asked, slowly walking into the bathroom. She took in the sight of the girl leaning over the toilet, and noticed Lauren looked paler than normal. She walked over, laying a hand on the girl’s forehead gently, finding the girl was warmer than usual. 

Ally grabbed a washcloth, wetting it before wiping Lauren’s face. She walked out of the bathroom, returning a minute later with a sippy cup of water and two tylenol.

Lauren whined, shaking her head. “No, nuh uh.” She pushed the older woman’s hand away.

“Sweetheart, you need to take these,” Ally stated softly, kneeling down next to the girl. “Has your tummy been hurting all day? Is that why you didn’t want to eat?”

The green eyed girl nodded. “No feel good,” she whispered.

Normani knocked on the door before peeking inside. “Everything alright? Lauren wasn’t in her room.” 

Ally shook her head, letting out a sigh. “Lauren’s not feeling too well, and apparently hasn’t been all day,” she explained, facing the other woman. “Explains why we’ve seen a very grumpy baby today.”

“‘M not a baby,” the girl whined, pouting.

Normani rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue. “But you are grumpy,” she replied instead. 

“Now come on, take these and then we’ll go watch a movie, and maybe you can nap,” Ally ordered softly, holding out the tablets again. “You know Mama would want you to take them,” she said pointedly. 

Lauren looked up with wide eyes, then finally nodded. Ally grinned, setting the tablets in the girl’s hand, and handed over the sippy cup. Lauren quickly took the pills, taking a sip of water to chase them down.

“Good girl,” Normani said, smiling. She walked over and scooped Lauren up, carrying her out of the bathroom. They ventured down to the living room, finding Camila sprawled on the floor with her blanket and Mr. Lamb (the two girls had come to the agreement that they would share the stuffed animal, since Camila was adamant Lauren have it but the older girl refused to take it from her friend), the main menu of  _ The Lion King _ on the tv. 

“Lolo, come sit wif me,” the younger girl said, patting the floor next to her. 

“Lauren’s not feeling too well, baby,” Ally said. “I don’t think lying on the floor would be very comfortable for her right now.”

Camila frowned, but nodded. She grabbed the stuffie and her blanket and moved to sit on the couch next to Lauren and Normani, handing the lamb and Lauren’s own blanket over to the older girl. “Make you feel better, Lolo.”

The green eyed girl nodded, murmuring, “T’ank you, Camz.”

The brunette grinned, happy to have helped her friend, even if it was only just a bit. 

Ally grabbed the Simba pacifier that was on the coffee table, handing it to Lauren before sitting on the other end of the couch, Camila immediately cuddling into the blonde.

They were about halfway through the movie, Camila having already fallen asleep, though Lauren seemed to be fighting sleep.

“Lauren, you’re tired, we can see it. Why don’t you just sleep?” Normani questioned softly, running a hand through the girl’s hair. 

The older girl shook her head, turning to hide her face in the crook of the woman’s neck. “Wan’ Mama,” she mumbled. She didn’t like sleeping on the couch, it wasn’t how she normally napped with Dinah. She didn’t mind cuddling with Mani, but she didn’t like being on the couch if she was going to nap.

“I know, but Mama’s not here, baby,” the dark skinned woman sighed. “But you need to nap, squirt.”

Lauren could feel the tears welling in her eyes and a tightness building in her chest. She felt terrible, and she couldn’t find the words to say that she didn’t want to sleep on the couch. She hated that part of being little, she was learning.

“Lauren, sweetheart, calm down, it’s okay,” Ally said. “There’s no need to be upset.”

“Just tell us what you want and we’ll figure it out,” Normani added.

That just caused Lauren to whine and her tears fall faster, because she  _ couldn’t _ say what was wrong.

“Lolo wan’ Mama and her spot, Mommy,” Camila stated sleepily. She pointed to the recliner, remembering Lauren looking to it longingly before. “S’eep there, ‘member?”

Normani nodded, though she was still slightly confused. “Lauren doesn’t want to sleep here, but in the recliner?” she checked.

Camila nodded, cuddling back into Ally. “Duh, Mommy.”

Normani narrowed her eyes. “You two are not allowed near Dinah ever again.” She slid out from under Lauren and stood up, carefully picked the younger one up and walked over to the recliner. It wasn’t much long after she had settled herself and Laurent that the smaller girl was fast asleep, rhythmic clicks sounding from her pacifier as she suckled.

Normani let out a deep, relieved sigh, happy to see Lauren finally napping. “I meant it when I said they’re not allowed anywhere near Dinah again. I don’t need their sass on top of hers.”

Ally only laughed, shaking her head amusedly.

\-----------

Later that night, after dinner and the two girls had baths, they were seated on the bed in the women’s room as Ally facetimed Dinah.

“So your flight made it in alright and everything?” the oldest woman asked.

“Yeah, and I would have called earlier but it was kind of a whirlwind once I got to my parents’ house,” Dinah replied from the other end. “How was your afternoon?”

“According to Mani, you’re banned from being near Mila and Lo.”

Dinah frowned, her jaw dropping in offense. “What? Why?” 

“Because apparently Lauren heard you swearing earlier and repeated it, and Mila is becoming a sass queen to rival you,” Normani explained, glaring at the younger woman through the tablet screen. 

“That’s not fair. It’s not my fault. You just need to keep up, Normani.”

The dark skinned woman rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she muttered under her breath.

Dinah grinned, deciding she’d won that argument. “And did you two behave today?” she asked, looking between the younger girls.

Camila nodded, while Lauren hung her head ashamedly. 

“I not good, Mama.”

“She got a timeout for the swearing, but we also had a grumpy baby who wasn’t feeling well,” Ally explained when Dinah frowned.

“Not a baby,” the green eyed girl grumbled, pouting and crossing her arms petulantly.

Dinah rolled her eyes, then asked, “Did you take your timeout without arguing?”

Lauren started to nod, but stopped, remembering she had run out of the room to get to the bathroom.

“She did, until she got sick,” Normani answered. “After that we just let it drop.”

“But I no say bad words, Mama. Pwomise.”

“That’s good, baby,” Dinah replied, smiling widely. “Do you think you can try and be good for Mani and Ally for the rest of the weekend? I know it can be hard if you’re not feeling well, but I want you to try.”

Lauren nodded fervently. “‘Kay, Mama. I be good for Mommy and Momma, pwomise.”

The two older women let out shocked gasps, Ally fumbling with the tablet for a moment out of surprise. On the other end of the connection, Dinah looked a mix of proud and wanting to sob. 

“Good girl, baby,” the youngest woman said, her voice sounding like she was really fighting not to cry. “I need to- I’m going to- dammit I’m really trying not to cry but it’s hard.”

“You sayed a bad word, Mama,” Lauren replied, frowning. 

“I did, I’m sorry, don’t go repeating it, I don’t need Normani kicking my butt,” Dinah replied. “I’m just really happy. I’m sure Mommy and Momma are too, right?” she asked knowingly, grinning brightly.

Normani nodded, still in shock, but pulled the green eyed girl into a tight hug. “Yeah, really happy,” she agreed.

They finished the call, Dinah promising to call after the event the next night. 

“We stay wif you and Mommy?” Camila questioned, facing Ally.

The older blonde nodded, smiling softly. “Yeah, that’s fine, baby. What do you think, Lauren?”

“S’ay wif Mommy an’ Mama.” Lauren agreed, nuzzling further into Normani.

The two women shared an excited smile, happy to have their two littles in between them.

(It did feel a little empty without Dinah, though Normani wouldn’t ever say that to the younger woman.)


	30. Chapter 30

The next couple of days passed smoothly, the girls not causing many problems for Normani and Ally (Lauren would refuse a diaper change sometimes, but that was about it as far as trouble went). The women had decided that the girls didn’t need to spend the entire time cooped up in the house, and so that Saturday they had taken the two to the park again.   

They had run into Lauren and Camila’s neighbors, Anna and Brittany, and their own little, Hailee. The three ran around the playground for almost two hours, and by the time they were on their way home, Lauren was passed out in her seat with Camila not far behind, and Normani and Anna had exchanged contact information to make plans for another meet up.

Now, however, it was early in the morning on Sunday, the day Dinah was planned to return. 

Lauren awoke with a startled cry, fumbling in her blankets, accidentally tumbling off the bed. She hit the floor with a thump, still entangled in her blankets. She struggled in the pile of blankets for a few moments before she stopped, letting her racing heart calm down. 

It was a nightmare, that much she knew. She couldn’t quite remember all of the details, but she knew it ended with her Mama not coming back like she had promised.

Slowly, Lauren was finally able to crawl out from the mass of blankets she was trapped in. She grabbed the blankets, lazily spreading them out on the bed and crawling back under them, grabbing Nala from the end of the bed and clutching the lion to her chest tightly.

A few minutes later, a knock on her door sounded before it was pushed open slightly. “Lauren, you alright?” Ally questioned as she entered. 

Lauren nodded, but didn’t verbally reply.

“Are you sure?” the older woman checked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “Because I heard a pretty loud thump. But it could have been Camila.”

“Fell off bed,” the green eyed girl eventually admitted. 

“Are you okay?” Ally gently pulled the blankets off the younger girl, checking her over for injury.

“I fine, Momma.”

Ally’s heart soared at the term. She would never get tired of hearing the name. She knew there were still some things Lauren needed to work through, specifically knowing that no matter what she did, the three wouldn’t abandon her and trusting them to let go completely and be little. 

Yes, Lauren had made a lot of breakthroughs in the time she had been with them. However, she still had trouble with wearing diapers (they had let use a pull up a few nights after introducing the diapers, but she had used it in the night and completely soaked through it and the bedsheets. That led to a breakdown of tears from embarrassment and the realization that she did, in fact, need something with more protection than the pull ups). And there was the fact that she still didn’t seem to want to have help with showers like Camila, although Ally wasn’t sure if that just personal preference or there was something that scared Lauren about it. 

Not to mention that any time Camila had to be away, Lauren refused to be alone with the women, and stayed at her apartment until the younger one returned. She hoped that when Dinah returned they could work on some of that.

“Did you have a nightmare, sweetheart?” she asked, softly running circles over the girl’s stomach, smiling fondly when the girl let out a soft sigh and moved closer to her.

“Mama not come back.”

“She’s coming back. Later this afternoon, remember?” The blonde frowned, not understanding. 

Lauren just shook her head and laid her head in the older woman’s lap. “In dweam, Mama not come back.”

Ally nodded slowly in understanding. She shifted to lie down, letting Lauren lie on top of her before pulling the blankets over the two of them. “She’ll be back, I promise.”

The green eyed girl nodded, but the older woman had the feeling Lauren wouldn’t believe her until she saw Dinah return for herself.

Lauren shifted more, trying to get as close to Ally as possible, a small whine slipping out when she couldn’t find a good position.

“Lauren, baby, just lie still, and try to go back to sleep,” Ally murmured, and began to softly pat the girl’s bottom. She felt the younger one stop moving and relax, and smiled softly. 

It was still pretty early in the morning, they could sleep in a bit longer.

\--------------

Later that day, Ally found herself with a shadow, it seemed. Everywhere she went around the house, even just to the kitchen to get a quick drink, Lauren followed, not letting the blonde out of her sight.

The older woman would be concerned if she didn’t know about the nightmare that had woken the green eyed girl up earlier that morning (she didn’t know exact details because Lauren never remembered what her dreams were about, but she enough to know the girl was worried Dinah wouldn’t come home).

“Do you know what time Dinah’s flight was getting in?” Normani asked as she walked into the living room, finding Ally on the couch with Lauren cuddled into her side, fast asleep.

“Around six, I think,” the older woman replied. “I’m supposed to pick her up, but I don’t think Lauren will let me leave to do so.”

The younger woman smiled at the sight of the raven haired girl sleeping peacefully, curled into Ally’s side. “I could go pick her up.”

“And have her complain about your supposed terrible driving that could have killed her? No, thanks.”

Normani scoffed, crossing her arms. “I”m not that bad,” she grumbled. “At least I haven’t knocked over a recycling bin. Or failed the driving test twice.”

“I’m not saying anything. That debate is between the two of you,” Ally responded, not wanting to get into a pointless argument. 

The dark skinned woman rolled her eyes, but nodded. “How badly do you think Lauren would react if you did leave?”

The shorter woman shrugged. “I don’t really want to find out.”

“Well, you could just take her with you,” Normani suggested. “She’s pretty good about not wandering off on her own. She’ll probably just stay right next to you.”

Ally considered the idea for a few moments, before she nodded. “Yeah, I could do that. And she’ll get to see Dinah sooner, which should help settle her fear about Dinah not coming back.”

“So how about you two go pick up DJ while Mila and I pick up dinner?”

The blonde leveled a warning look at the taller woman. “If there’s even the slightest hint of you two having an impromptu food fight, you will sleep on the couch for a week.”

\-----------

A few hours later found Ally and Lauren sitting in the airport, awaiting Dinah’s arrival, the younger blonde’s flight supposed to land any time now. Lauren sat in a chair, anxiously fidgeting with Nala’s tail and chewing on her dinosaur necklace. Though she wished it was a pacifier, she didn’t want to appear too much like a baby in public, she wasn’t that comfortable yet. 

Loud, busy areas weren’t her favorite place to be, but she was going to get to see her Mama soon and that was enough to get her want to come with Ally. She was a little nervous about being on her own, though. There were very few times she could think of where she wasn’t with Camila yet still in headspace around the women. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the trio, because she did. She just didn’t like the idea of being on her own in headspace. Maybe now that Dinah was coming back she would actually stay with them on a day when Camila couldn’t be there.

But that would have to wait for another day. Right now, she was more focused on the blonde’s return.

“Momma?” she called quietly. It still felt weird and made her slightly anxious that the older woman wouldn’t want Lauren to call her that. And there was the fact they were in public, and she had just said it for the first time three days prior.

Ally turned to the younger girl, quirking a brow in curiosity. “Yeah, baby?”

The green eyed girl grunted slightly at the nickname. Yes, maybe she was younger in headspace, but that didn’t mean it to be verbally acknowledged (then she remembered Camila had no problems with any of the three calling her that, and she wasn’t too upset about it). 

“When Mama coming back?”

The older woman turned to look at the screen listing the arriving flights, noting that Dinah’s was scheduled to land within minutes. “Really soon, sweetheart. Are you excited?”

Lauren nodded eagerly, smiling widely. She had missed Dinah so much over the last few days. Yes, she still Ally and Normani, and they were great, but neither were as good at cuddling as her Mama (that was really the most important thing to her). Plus, they had gone to the bookstore on Friday, and she had two new books she was waiting to read with Dinah.

“Nala is, ‘oo, Momma.” She held the lion up slightly, wiggling it to emphasize her point.

Ally chuckled, grinning. She pulled the other one into her side, letting Lauren lay her head on her shoulder. “I’m sure Dinah is going to be excited to see you, too,” she stated. “She’s probably more excited to see you and Mila than she is Mani and me.”

Lauren didn’t respond, she just continued to chew on her necklace and fiddle with Nala’s tail.

Ally switched between texting Normani and occasionally checking the terminal where Dinah was supposed to enter. Some time after texting the other woman it was okay to get pizza for dinner (as long as Camila didn’t eat all of it before they got home), she looked up and saw a large group of people walking through the terminal. 

“Lo, sweets, I think Mama’s flight finally landed,” she said, pointing to the area the people were coming from. “Want to walk over and see if we can find her?”

Lauren nodded excitedly, her apprehension over large crowds forgotten at the prospect of greeting Dinah. She stood from her seat and shyly held a hand out to Ally. “We go, Momma?”

Ally nodded and took the girl’s hand, leading her closer to the terminal.

The green eyed girl was busy searching for the taller blonde in the sea of people that had passed she was startled when someone gently pulled her into a hug.

“Hi, baby girl,” the light voice she hadn’t heard in person in days spoke.

Lauren gasped and turned, seeing Dinah looking at her, grinning widely. “Mama!” she exclaimed happily, practically throwing herself back into the taller woman. “I missed you,” she murmured into the woman’s shirt.

Dinah laughed, pressing a kiss to the girl’s head. “I missed you, too, sweet girl,” she whispered.

Lauren pulled back and held Nala up, wiggling the lion in front of Dinah’s face. “Nala missed Mama, ‘oo.”

“Did she now?” Dinah questioned amusedly, chuckling quietly. “Well, I missed Nala, too. I bet she wants a kiss, also, huh?”

The raven haired girl nodded seriously, holding the lion up once more. Dinah laughed and carefully took Nala, pressing a kiss to the lion’s head before handing her back to Lauren.

Ally smiled at the interaction, before deciding to cut in. “So you’re going to greet the goober, but not me? I see how it is, Dinah Jane,” she teased, playfully glaring at the younger woman.

“Just for that, Allyson, you’re not getting any greeting,” the taller woman quipped, turning away from the shorter blonde.

“Not nice, Mama. Momma missed you. An’ Mommy an’ Camz.”

Dinah hummed in thought, before breaking down into a fit of laughter. “Come here, Smallz,” she said, holding her arms out in a welcoming gesture.

Ally eagerly welcome the embrace, leaning up onto her toes to pull the taller one into a long awaited, passionate kiss.

“Eww,” Lauren groaned, her crinkling in disgust.

Ally pulled back with a laugh as Dinah snorted. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute, kid,” the taller woman said. “Now come on, I need to get my bags and then we can go. I’m tired and hungry, and definitely ready to get home.”

\---------------

The three were walking through the parking lot, Ally’s car in sight when Dinah spoke. 

“Lo, baby, go ahead a little bit in front of us. I need to talk to Momma about something. Just stay so you can hear us, alright?”

Lauren nodded, and continued walking as Dinah and Ally slowed down.

The older woman turned her head to look at the other, an eyebrow quirked in confusion. “What’s up?”

“I met Lauren’s dad this weekend.”


	31. Chapter 31

“What?” Normani asked, staring in disbelief at Dinah and Ally. 

The two blondes had decided to wait and talk about Dinah’s bombshell with Normani before telling Lauren anything. It wasn’t until the two girls had run off to the playroom to watch a movie before bed that the three got a chance to talk.

Both Lauren and Camila had stayed pretty much glued to Dinah’s side through dinner, neither wanting the taller woman out of their sights in fear she would leave again. After Dinah had assured them she wasn’t leaving and would be there to get them ready for bed, the two disappeared to watch the chosen movie of the night, Toy Story.

“I met Michael Jauregui at my dad’s function,” Dinah answered, putting a hand to her head tiredly. “It was a dinner for potential partners, and I guess my dad has never actually signed any partnerships with him.”

“A good thing, really,” Normani muttered under her breath. “I’m assuming you didn’t tell him you know Lauren?”

“Well, I couldn’t just go up and say ‘by the way, you’re daughter’s a little and I’m one of her caregivers’, so no. I didn’t.”

“You know what, I liked it better without your sass, maybe you should go back,” the dark skinned woman retorted, glaring at the younger woman. 

“You should both go and then I’ll no longer have a constant headache,” Ally quipped, rubbing her temples. “Did Gordon take him on as an partner?”

Dinah shook her head. “I think everyone really wanted him to, but when I said he shouldn’t, Dad listened. Even when I said I couldn’t tell him why.”

“And that had to do with Lauren?” Normani questioned.

The younger blonde nodded. “I’m sure it would have been a really big partnership for Dad, but if I could have told him why I said no, he would have immediately said no, too. He wouldn’t ever partner with someone who’s abused their own child physically and emotionally,” she explained. “Even if Lauren won’t say it, that’s exactly what happened. Dad would have never let  Michael Jauregui near the dinner if he had known.”

Ally nodded, and released a long sigh. “You know we’re going to have to let Lauren know you’ve met him, right?”

“I don’t necessarily want to,” Dinah admitted, shrugging helplessly. “I know I should, and I will; I just don’t want to bring back any unwanted memories for her. You know how she reacted just being in the area of his building. I don’t know how she’ll react to hearing I’ve met him.”

“It’s not like she has to see him, though,” Normani reasoned. “She knows we would never make her go and see him, that’s up to her when she’s ready. This is just you letting her know that you’ve met him and you feel she deserves to know.”

Dinah nodded, and leaned into the dark skinned woman. “She’s just made a lot of progress in the time she’s been with us. I don’t want to do anything to ruin that,” she mumbled.

The older woman wrapped her arms around the blonde. “Lauren is a hell of a lot tougher than even she knows,” she replied. “I don’t think telling her this will hurt her.”

“Just don’t overthink it,” Ally stated simply. “Just tell her, and let her know that whether she decides to see him or not, it’s completely up to her.”

The youngest woman nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk to her in the morning.”

\----------------

After Dinah had helped Camila get settled into bed, she walked over to Lauren’s room to do the same for the green eyed girl. She was a little surprised to see the girl sitting in the middle of her bed, anxiously fiddling with Nala’s ear. She also noticed Lauren was dressed in a plain tshirt and a pair of sweatpants.

“You alright, Lauren?” she asked softly, causing the other one to look up.

Lauren shrugged, looking back at the lion in her lap. “I wasn’t feeling very little after the movie,” she answered quietly. She bit her lip, and Dinah noted the way the smaller girl refused to make eye contact with her.

“Any reason why?” 

The girl just shrugged again, still not looking up.

Dinah stood by the door, thinking quietly. Finally, she pushed away from the doorframe and motioned for Lauren to follow her. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen.”

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, confused, but got up and followed. 

When they got there, Dinah motioned for her to take a seat on the counter top. “Since you’re not little, you can sit there,” she said, “Just don’t tell Ally, please. And don’t tell her about this, either.” She opened one of the cabinets and reached way back on the top shelf, pulling out a jar of nutella. “Mani and I may have gotten into a food fight and got this banned from the house,” she admitted sheepishly, eliciting giggles from the smaller girl.

The taller woman grabbed four pieces of bread and placed them into the toaster, then moved to cut up a banana. When the toaster had finished, she placed two pieces of toast on two plates, coated them with the nutella, and finally topped them with banana slices. She grabbed two glasses and poured milk into each, then handed a plate and cup to Lauren.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?” she asked after a few minutes of the two silently eating.

Lauren nervously played with the cup in her hand, chancing a quick glance at the taller woman before looking away. “I overheard you talking to Ally and Normani,” she confessed in a whisper, looking up ashamedly. “I, I didn’t meant to, But I was coming out to get a drink, and, and I heard you mention my dad,” she trailed off, looking down again.

Dinah sighed, setting the dishes in the sink. “I was going to talk to you in the morning,” she started, turning back to the girl. “I met your dad this weekend. My dad owns a pretty high tech security software company, and your dad was there to try and partner with him.”

“Did your dad do it?”

The blonde shook her head. “He wanted me there for my opinion on any potential partners. I said no when it came to your dad.”

Lauren looked up in shock. “Why? My dad’s company develops all kinds of new tech. It would have been a big deal.”

“I didn’t tell my dad about this, but you were the reason I said no,” Dinah answered, looking at the girl seriously. “I’m sure it would have been a massive investment, but my dad would never partner with someone who treats their own child like your dad treated you, Lauren. My dad doesn’t know about any of it, and your dad doesn’t know I know you. I wouldn’t ever break your trust telling other people what’s yours to tell.”

The smaller girl sighed in relief, happy to know her secret was still safe. “What if he finds out though?” she asked worriedly. “What if he finds out we know each other, and that’s why your dad wouldn’t partner with him?”

“I don’t know how he would find out, but if he somehow does, I’ll handle it,” Dinah promised, gently laying a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “If you see him and you feel uncomfortable, get somewhere safe and call one of us. We’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt you ever again, Lauren.”

Dinah was slightly surprised to have suddenly have an armful the smaller girl. 

Lauren wrapped her arms tightly around the taller woman, not sure how to say how thankful she was to have met the three. 

“Alright, I think it’s probably a good time to go to bed,” the blonde said, pulling away slightly. 

“Is it okay if I come over on Tuesday?” Lauren asked quietly. “It’s my day off this week.”

Dinah looked at her with a quirked brow, “You’re more than welcome to,” she answered. “But, you Camila has to work that day, right?” 

Lauren nodded. “I know, she told me earlier since she doesn’t normally work during the week,” she replied. “And, I know I don’t usually come over unless she’s here, but I think it might be good to try being here on my own,” she explained, shrugging. “I just figured maybe it’s time I try and be slightly less dependent on Camila when it comes to being little.”

Dinah gave the smaller girl a concerned look. “You don’t have to if you’re not ready to,” she stated. “If you’re not ready to be with us on your own in headspace, you don’t have to. We’re not pressuring you. At least, we’re not trying to.”

“I know that, and you’re not,” the green eyed girl assured, shaking her head. “I want to.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Dinah said, earning a nod from Lauren. She smiled softly. “You’re more than welcome to come over. Ally will be at work all day, and I have to be at the studio until about one, but Normani will be here. It’s her week off while I go in,” she explained.

Lauren nodded, and followed Dinah back upstairs. She was still a little fearful about what Dinah had told her, but she was going to try and not let it bother her too much. There was very little chance her dad could find out she knew Dinah. She would drive herself crazy thinking about it. 

\-----------

Lauren was on the phone with Normani that Tuesday as she gathered some things to take to the trio’s house into her backpack. 

“And it’s okay still that I come over?” she asked hesitantly, wanting to be sure.

Normani just chuckled on the end. “Yes, Lauren. For the third time, it’s perfectly fine. I would have told you when you first called if it wasn’t, right?”

“Okay, I just want to be sure. I don’t want to cause any trouble,” the green eyed girl replied, grabbing her keys from the coffee table.

“I know, but you’re not,” the older woman promised. “Lauren, it’s never any trouble for us when you come over.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Lauren said. “Okay, I’m on my way over,” she said as she opened her apartment door. “I’ll be ther-” she cut herself off suddenly, looking up in absolute terror. She dropped her phone to the floor as her stomach dropped with dread.

There, stood in front of her, was Mike Jauregui.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unwanted confrontation. Mentions of past abuse. 
> 
> Mama Mani to the rescue.

“W-What are you d-doing here? Lauren stumbled out, fear creeping into her voice as she spoke. 

She didn’t need this right now. She wasn’t ready she didn’t think she’d ever be ready.

Mike shrugged. “I can’t check on my own daughter?” he questioned calmly, like it wasn’t a big deal that he was only now doing so after a year and half after Lauren moved out.

“How did you even find me?” 

“I know people who live in the building,” the older man replied. “They’ve mentioned seeing you around.”

“What do you want?” 

There was no way he came just to check on her. If that was the case, he would have done so months ago. But she hadn’t talked to him since  _ that _ night.

“Is it really that hard to believe I want to make sure you’re doing okay?”

“Yes,” Lauren replied simply. “And, and I’m fine. Please, just leave.”

Mike’s calm demeanor darkened slightly, and Lauren immediately tensed. 

“We need to talk, Lauren. Now.”

The green eyed girl shook her head, growing nervous with each second that passed. “No, we don’t. You need to  _ leave _ .” She attempted to close the door, but Mike slipped his foot in between the door and the frame.

“Lauren Michelle, do not disobey me.”

The implied threat sent a chill down the girl’s spine, and she flinched back, clenching her eyes closed tightly. “Just leave, please,” she begged. 

She wasn’t ready. There was no way in hell she could make it through this. Spending time with Dinah, Ally, and Normani, she had finally come to terms with the fact that her childhood was not normal. Really, she already knew it, but everything the trio had shown had only proven it. 

“Please, just leave,” she repeated quietly. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I haven’t seen in you in almost two years,” Mike argued.

“And whose fault is that?” Lauren replied angrily, her fists clenching at her side. She didn’t know where the sudden bout of confidence came from, but assumed it was probably from her building frustrations that he wouldn’t just  _ leave _ .

“Don’t talk to me like that, Lauren.”

“No,  _ you  _ don’t get to talk to  _ me _ like that,” the green eyed girl shouted, tears forming in her eyes. She absolutely hated how scared she felt being around him, though she supposed she had good reason.

This was the man who made her life growing up hell. And now here he was, after almost two years of no contact, demanding she speak with him. Just being near him had her on edge, and she wanted nothing more than one of the three women, hell even  _ Camila _ to come and help her. She felt so small, like a child afraid to sleep because of imaginary monsters under the bed.

Except hers wasn’t imaginary. He was standing right in front of her. 

And she felt so  _ small _ and  _ little _ compared to him, and there was a massive pounding in her head and she couldn’t think; she could barely breathe there was a growing tightness in her chest.

“I want  _ nothing _ to do with you,” she heard herself say through the hammering of her skull. 

“It’s about the company, Lauren.”

“I don’t want anything to do that, either!” the girl shouted viciously. “You made my life a living hell because of that fucking company, I want no part of it!”

“But you have no problem associating with the daughter of the owner of Hansen Industries?” Mike inquired, smirking when Lauren visibly paled. “I told you I know people in this building, Lauren. They’ve seen Ms. Hansen around here multiple times.”

“So you just came here to what? Get me to convince her to make  her dad partner with you?” Lauren accused, staring at the man in disbelief. “Well that sucks for you, because I won’t.”

Mike reached out and roughly grabbed Lauren’s arm, causing the girl to cry out in fear and pain. “Do you think I’m playing?” he asked menacingly, and Lauren knew he wouldn’t have any problem hurting her. 

He’d done it before, there was no way she could stop him now.

“Dinah knows,” Lauren said. “She knows about how you beat me as a kid. It’s kind of hard to miss the whip marks on my back.”

“And how would she know about them?” Mike questioned, his eyes narrowing in challenge.

Lauren breathed out shakily, knowing what she was about to say would piss him off. But she didn’t care. She’d made it through the conversation a lot further than she thought, might as well not stop now.

“Because she’s my caretaker when I'm little.”

Honestly, Lauren realized it was probably a bad idea to admit that to him, but she found some satisfaction in seeing how furious it made him.

“You’re what?” Mike asked, his voice a low growl.

“My caretaker. Because I’m a little. And at first, I  _ despised _ the idea of being one, because I thought it would just like living with you all over again,” she explained, pulling her arm out of the vice-like grip Mike had on it. “But I’ve learned that everything I suffered through as a kid was  _ fucked up _ , and it was all because of  _ you _ . You made it hell.”

“Lauren,” the older man warned, but the green eyed girl just shook her head.

“No, you  _ beat the shit _ out of me for  _ nothing _ ,” Lauren replied furiously. “ _ No one _ deserves that kind of abuse. I mean, fuck, you didn’t even care that Brad wanted me to sleep with him when I was just out of sophomore year and I didn’t want to! What kind of person beats their kid for not wanting to have sex?!” she asked. “I want  _ nothing _ to do with you or your company. You can leave and go to fucking hell!” she screamed, shoving him back towards the still slightly ajar door, her chest heaving as she tried to settle her breathing.

The two stood in a stare down, and as Mike took a threatening step toward the green eyed girl, Normani stormed through the door. When she caught sight of Mike, she immediately grabbed the collar of his shirt and shoved him towards the door.

“Get the fuck out and stay the hell away from her,” she growled. “Or I will make sure you pay for the shit you put your own daughter through, and watch your company and your reputation burn to the ground.”

Mike looked between the dark skinned woman, who was glaring at him with fury in her eyes, and Lauren, who was stood behind the woman, frozen in fear. Finally, he pushed Normani away and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door as he went.

Just as the older woman turned to ask if she was okay, Lauren took off down the hall. Normani found her a few moments later in the bathroom, kneeling over the toilet as she vomited. 

The dark skinned woman slowly made her way next to the girl, kneeling beside her and pulling her hair back, rubbing her back slowly. She hadn’t seen it before, but there was a damp spot on Lauren’s jeans, and she had a pretty good guess as to what it was.

Finally, the smaller girl flushed the toilet, and leaned back against the wall, loud sobs wracking her body. 

Normani stood and walked out only to return a few minutes later with a towel, washcloth, and a small backpack in hand. They had started to keep a bag full of little supplies on hand a few months after Camila became their little; when Lauren came along, they just added her stuff to it. And when Normani heard Lauren drop her phone and didn’t hear from her for a few minutes, after multiple unanswered calls, she decided to check on her, and thought the bag might come in handy.

She knelt in front of Lauren, gently taking one of the girl’s hands in her own. “Do you think I could help you get cleaned up?” she asked softly. “Or do you want to do it yourself?”

Lauren shook her head profusely and whined, tears still quickly cascading down her cheeks and sobs still threatening to escape. She was  _ little _ and the only thing she wanted was Normani to hold her.

Normani pulled the girl close, patting her back softly. “Shh, baby, it’s alright. He’s gone and I’m here now,” she murmured reassuringly. “Let’s get you cleaned up though, okay? I’m sure you’ll feel tons better when you are.”

She reached over to turn the water on to start filling the tub, then delicately helped the girl out of her dirty clothes and tossed them aside. Once the tub was filled enough, she shut the water off and slowly lifted the girl up, gingerly setting her in the water. 

She gently ran the cloth across Lauren’s body, being slow and deliberate, watching for any sign of a negative reaction from the green eyed girl. Lauren started to calm down, her fast, uneven breathing slowing down, and her sobs dissipating into sniffles.

Eventually, the water began to grow cold, and Lauren whined slightly and tried to get out, only to be stopped by the older woman.

“It’s alright, we’ll get you out,” Normani promised when the girl just whined and tried to step out again. She nervously bit her lip, wondering if what she was about to say was too much. “But, babies shouldn’t be trying to get out on their own, huh?” When Lauren didn’t say anything, just looked up, green eyes staring in curiosity, she continued softly, “They might slip and fall, and Mommies hate when their babies are hurt.” 

The girl just nodded, and held her arms out to the older woman. The water wasn’t warm anymore, she wanted out as soon as possible.

Normani smiled and wrapped the towel around the girl, carefully lifting her out of the tub. She dried Lauren off, then wrapped the towel around her again and grabbed the backpack, then picked Lauren up and set off for the girl’s room. 

The green eyed girl laid her head on the woman’s shoulder, hiding her face in Normani’s neck. She would be concerned with how little she felt, but she was still shaken up from the confrontation with her dad. Her Mommy was there now, though, and even though she might have to talk about what happened, she didn’t want to worry about anything. She was safe and secure now, she’d let her Mommy worry about everything else for now.

“Alright bubs, is it alright if I put a pull up on?” the older woman asked as she laid the girl on the bed, but frowned when Lauren shook her head, her fingers sneaking up to hook around her mouth. She was a little concerned Lauren had yet to say actual words, but she was a lot calmer than before, and figured she had slipped considerably into headspace.

That last thought gave her pause.

“Lauren, baby, do you want a diaper?” 

The girl just nodded, slipping two fingers into her mouth. 

Normani smiled, and reached into the backpack, pulling out a pacifier with Pooh Bear on it. “Here, bubs, use this,” she encouraged, holding the item out to the girl, who accepted it happily.

The older woman pulled out a diaper, the front covered in little Eeyores and Tiggers, and a bottle of baby powder. She gently rubbed the powder onto the girl’s legs, then slipped the diaper around Lauren’s waist, making sure the sides were taped securely. She slipped a hoodie over the girl, but when she went to help Lauren into a pair of leggings, the green eyed girl just whined and scooted away.

“No pants, just a diaper?” she asked, putting the leggings and the baby powder back into the bag. She sat on the edge of the bed, and Lauren immediately climbed into her lap. Normani chuckled quietly, and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. She looked around the room, noticing a seat by the bedroom window. “How about we go sit over there, huh?” she cooed softly, noticing the sleepy look in the girl’s eyes. She lifted Lauren up, walking over to the seat. She sat and adjusted Lauren so the girl’s back was to her chest. 

Gently, she pulled the girl’s dark locks back, and hummed soothingly as she started braiding the girl’s hair. She smiled when Lauren leaned back into her, a soft sigh of content escaping. “I think a certain little baby is sleepy, hmm?” she asked as she tied off the braid. 

Lauren shifted to face sideways, snuggling into the woman’s chest. She grabbed one of the woman’s hands in one of her own, and with her other hand began running her fingers up the woman’s arm, moving her index and middle finger as if they were walking. 

Normani just sat and watched, content to let the girl let her fingers roam across her arm. Lauren was so far into headspace at this point, if it wasn’t for the fact she knew what brought it on she would be concerned.

She was ready to punch Michael Jauregui when she saw him towering over Lauren. But the fear in the girl’s green orbs told her that wasn’t what was needed. Mike was gone now, and Lauren was safe. 

She peered down at the girl, seeing her struggling to keep her eyes from drooping.

“Go to sleep, bubs,” she urged softly.

Lauren shook her head, turning to lean her head into the woman’s shoulder and gripped Normani’s shirt tightly with one hand.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, baby,” the older woman promised. “And then we can go to the house and see Mama, Mila, and Momma, yeah?” 

The girl let out a small huff, but settled as Normani patted her bottom soothingly. “Love, ‘ommy,” she lisped around the pacifier, letting herself drift off to sleep finally.

The older woman smiled, and pressed a tender kiss to the top of the girl’s head. She moved over to the bed, allowing them both to stretch out. “Love you, too, baby. Sleep well.”

She would text Dinah and Ally and tell them the events of the last hour, but for now, she was content to cuddle with Lauren and let the girl nap.


	33. Chapter 33

The first thing Lauren noticed when she woke up was that she was no longer lying against Normani, but instead tucked under her blankets with Nala in her arms. She was afraid the older woman had left, but the sight of an unfamiliar backpack hinted that the woman might still be there. 

The second thing she noticed was that she probably should get a change soon. Her diaper wasn’t completely soaked, but she could feel it was wet and stuck to her skin as she rolled over. She could probably wait for her Mommy to come back and change her; right now all wanted was to find her paci that fell onto the bed sometime in her sleep. 

She had just pulled the item out from the mess of blankets when Normani walked back into the room. The older woman smiled when she saw Lauren looking up at her, contently suckling on her pacifier.

“Waking up, bubs?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. She pulled the blankets back just enough to reach over and began tickling the girl’s sides. “How’s my little baby now, hmm?”

Lauren whined and squirmed away, not liking the assault. “No, Mommy, stop, stop,” she pleaded through a fit of giggles, trying to get away from the older woman.

“Oh? Does babygirl not like tickle attacks?” Normani questioned as she continued her assault, eliciting more laughs from the younger girl.

After the earlier events, she was happy to see Lauren so relaxed and carefree. The green eyed girl deserved it after everything that had happened to her in the past.

“Mommy, st-stop, p’ease,” the girl begged, trying to catch her breath. When the older woman finally relented, she moved as far away from her as the bed would allow to settle her breathing. “Mommy, wet,” she said once she had finally calmed down.

Normani nodded, and stood to grab the backpack by the door. “Thank you for telling me, Lo,” she replied as she got out what she needed. She grabbed the towel from both and set it on the bed. “Come here, bubs, let’s get you changed then.”

Lauren scooted over to lie on the towel and let Normani lift her shirt and untape the diaper. She squirmed a bit at the cold feeling of the wipes, but settled down as Normani gently ran circles on her tummy with one hand.

“Such a good baby, staying still for Mommy,” the older woman murmured as she rubbed some powder onto the girl’s legs before slipping a fresh diaper on, taping the sides securely. She disappeared for a few moments to toss out the soiled diaper and wipes, and sat back down on the bed when she returned. 

Lauren immediately climbed into the woman’s lap, laying her head on Normani’s shoulder. The two sat in peaceful silence before Normani spoke.

“What do you say we get you dressed and then head back to the house? Mila’s going to be off work soon, and I’m sure I know a certain little one who needs to eat.”

The girl hid her face as she stomach rumbled, seeming to agree with the woman’s statement.

“No wan’ pants, Mommy,” she mumbled.

“Well, when we get back to the house you can take them off. But going out to the car you need them.”

Lauren mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘stupid pants’, but nodded in affirmation. Slowly, she climbed off the woman’s lap and stood on the floor, letting Normani help her into a pair of black leggings with stars on them to go with her gray NASA t-shirt. She also put on a gray and black striped beanie.

Normani helped her get her converse on, grabbed the backpack and her own purse, then asked, “You ready?” 

Lauren looked around, remembering she needed to grab Nala and her pacifier. She searched through the blankets on her bed, and then took the older woman’s hand once she had found them. “‘Eady, Mommy.”

The two made their way out of the apartment, making sure to grab Lauren’s BB-8 backpack she had left at by the front door, and Normani checked that the apartment got locked. 

Satisfied, she reached for Lauren’s hand, the girl happily accepting it, then led her down to the parking lot. The whole way down, she was thinking about how Lauren never once grumbled about being called a baby and smiled to herself.

\----------

“What the fuck do you mean Lauren had a confrontation with her dad?” Camila questioned heatedly after Normani informed her of the day’s events. 

“Camila,” the older woman said warningly.

“Why the hell was he anywhere near her? He hasn’t bothered to try talking to her in almost two fucking years now.”

“Camila, you might not be in headspace, but you still need to watch your attitude,” Normani stated seriously. “I don’t know why he was at your apartment, I didn’t hear much of their conversation except for Lauren yelling at him to go to hell.”

“He can do more than that,” the younger Latina grumbled. “Is Lauren okay though?” she asked worriedly.

The dark skinned woman shrugged. “She didn’t say much after it. She was freaked out by it, and she was deep in headspace. She didn’t put up any fight when I called her a baby or anything.”

Camila’s eyes widened comically, and her jaw dropped slightly in shock. “Seriously? Not even a little bit?”

“None at all,” Normani replied, shaking her head. “She went with Dinah to get lunch, but she’s not in as young of a headspace as when we were at your place.”

The two were interrupted by the front door opening as Dinah and Lauren entered the house.

The raven haired girl was startled when a blur of brunette hair launched at her. “‘Amz!” she greeted happily, hugging the smaller girl.

The younger brunette smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to the older girl’s forehead. “Love you, Lolo,” she murmured softly. 

Dinah looked over to Normani and motioned for the older woman to head to the kitchen, herself following behind.

“I’m going to fucking murder him,” the blonde seethed as she set the bag of food on the counter.

Normani frowned. “Um, no, let’s not. I don’t want to go to jail, and you know Ally won’t bail us out for being stupid enough to commit murder.”

The younger woman huffed, then exhaled slowly. “Lauren told me why her dad showed up.”

The older woman took in the blonde’s agitated posture and reluctantly inquired, “What did she say?”

“He found out we know each other, and just wanted to use her to get a partner with my dad.”

“That fucker. What kind of an asshole does that?” Normani muttered.

Dinah sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “One that only cares about himself?” she asked rhetorically, shrugging once again. “But if I ever see him I’m dragging his pathetic ass to hell.”

“Just please don’t do anything to get arrested. Because then Ally will yet at me because I didn’t try to stop you, and she’s scary when she’s pissed.”

“Whipped as fuck, Mani.” Dinah sighed when she only received a raised brow from the older woman. “Okay, yeah, Ally is scary when she’s pissed. Fine, I won’t do anything to get arrested.”

Camila rushed into the kitchen, now changed into more comfortable clothing then the jeans and polo shirt that was her work uniform, with Lauren following right behind. 

“Mama, we haf lunch now?” the younger girl asked, looking between the two women.

Normani was the one to answer. “Yeah, let’s get you guys fed. I know one certain baby who needs to eat.”

Lauren’s cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, and she looked down as she made her way to the table. She sat patiently, waiting for Dinah to set her bowl of mac and cheese in front of her, along with a sippy of juice. “T’anks, Mama,” she said quietly.

“You’re welcome, squirt. Need any help?”

The raven haired girl shook her head fervently. “Nuh uh, I do it myself,” she said, puffing her chest out slightly.

Dinah chuckled and shook her head amusedly. “Alright, go ahead and eat, girls,” she said as Normani set Camila’s own bowl of pasta in front of her.

It had been an extremely hectic day, the two women were happy to see both of the girls happy and contently eating their food.

\-----------

“What do you guys think of taking the girls to the mall this weekend?” Ally asked later that night after they had put the two littles to bed. “Aside from that incident with Lauren swearing, they were well behaved while Dinah was gone. And then with everything that happened today, I figured they earned a new stuffie or something, Lauren especially after today.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Normani after the last time. She sent Lauren into an anxiety attack.”

The dark skinned woman groaned, slapping the younger blonde’s arm. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t realize she’d be  _ that _ overwhelmed.”

Before Dinah could fire back a retort, Lauren appeared in the living room, Nala tucked under her arm.

“Hi baby, what’s up?” Ally asked.

The green eyed girl just shrugged and went to sit with Normani, eliciting a mock gasp of offence from Dinah.

“What is the meaning of this? Have I been replaced? Where’s Mila, she’d cuddle with me.”

“I here, Mama,” Camila said as she entered the living room.

“What are you doing up, babes?” Ally questioned, a little surprised when the younger girl climbed on top of her instead of sitting with Dinah.

“Want more cuddles, Momma,” the younger girl answered.

“I don’t get any?” Dinah questioned with an exaggerated pout.

Camila laughed and shook her head, sticking her tongue out at the taller blonde. Lauren just hid her face in Normani’s shirt.

Dinah just scoffed playfully, moving to sit in the recliner. “Fine, I don’t want to be squished if I’m not getting any cuddles out of it.”

Lauren peaked out slightly, looking over to the taller blonde. “Mama, you stay tonight?” she asked quietly, one of her hands sneaking up to hook her fingers in her mouth.

“Yeah, Mama, we have a sleepover in my room?” Camila asked excitedly, turning to the blonde with pleading eyes.

Dinah grinned, nodding. “Yeah, we can. Come on, squirts, it’s late. Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Maybe now Ally and I can sleep peacefully for once.”

“Normani, you’re half the reason I can’t ever sleep,” Ally deadpanned.

Dinah laughed loudly. “Doesn’t matter. I get to cuddle with the little ones and that’s so much better anyway.”

“Are you saying I’m not good at cuddling?”

Ally groaned, laying an arm over her eyes. “Oh my god, just go get the two to bed, please.”

Dinah nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” She held her hands out for both the two girls to take. “Come on, little ones. Let’s listen to Momma and get you two to bed.”

“We gots to get Lolo’s blankie, Mama,” Camila reminded as they walked upstairs. 

“Of course, little monkey. You two go get in bed and I’ll grab it.” 

She entered Camila’s room a few moments later with the promised blanket, and found Camila sitting up and Lauren lying down half asleep, Nala clutched tightly to her chest.

“Here you go, lovebug,” the blonde said as she handed the blanket to the green eyed girl before she climbed onto the bed between the two. She pulled Lauren closer to her and pressed a kiss to her head. “Go to sleep, Lo, We have a busy day planned for tomorrow.”

Lauren pulled her blanket close to her, and nuzzled into the blonde’s side, her eyes drooping closed as she drifted off completely.

“You, too, monkey,” Dinah said, turning to the brunette on her other side.

“‘Kay, Mama. Love you,” Camila mumbled sleepily as she also curled into the blonde and fell asleep.

“Sleep well, babies.”


	34. Chapter 34

The first thing Lauren noticed when she woke up was that she was no longer lying against Normani, but instead tucked under her blankets with Nala in her arms. She was afraid the older woman had left, but the sight of an unfamiliar backpack hinted that the woman might still be there. 

The second thing she noticed was that she probably should get a change soon. Her diaper wasn’t completely soaked, but she could feel it was wet and stuck to her skin as she rolled over. She could probably wait for her Mommy to come back and change her; right now all wanted was to find her paci that fell onto the bed sometime in her sleep. 

She had just pulled the item out from the mess of blankets when Normani walked back into the room. The older woman smiled when she saw Lauren looking up at her, contently suckling on her pacifier.

“Waking up, bubs?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. She pulled the blankets back just enough to reach over and began tickling the girl’s sides. “How’s my little baby now, hmm?”

Lauren whined and squirmed away, not liking the assault. “No, Mommy, stop, stop,” she pleaded through a fit of giggles, trying to get away from the older woman.

“Oh? Does babygirl not like tickle attacks?” Normani questioned as she continued her assault, eliciting more laughs from the younger girl.

After the earlier events, she was happy to see Lauren so relaxed and carefree. The green eyed girl deserved it after everything that had happened to her in the past.

“Mommy, st-stop, p’ease,” the girl begged, trying to catch her breath. When the older woman finally relented, she moved as far away from her as the bed would allow to settle her breathing. “Mommy, wet,” she said once she had finally calmed down.

Normani nodded, and stood to grab the backpack by the door. “Thank you for telling me, Lo,” she replied as she got out what she needed. She grabbed the towel from both and set it on the bed. “Come here, bubs, let’s get you changed then.”

Lauren scooted over to lie on the towel and let Normani lift her shirt and untape the diaper. She squirmed a bit at the cold feeling of the wipes, but settled down as Normani gently ran circles on her tummy with one hand.

“Such a good baby, staying still for Mommy,” the older woman murmured as she rubbed some powder onto the girl’s legs before slipping a fresh diaper on, taping the sides securely. She disappeared for a few moments to toss out the soiled diaper and wipes, and sat back down on the bed when she returned. 

Lauren immediately climbed into the woman’s lap, laying her head on Normani’s shoulder. The two sat in peaceful silence before Normani spoke.

“What do you say we get you dressed and then head back to the house? Mila’s going to be off work soon, and I’m sure I know a certain little one who needs to eat.”

The girl hid her face as she stomach rumbled, seeming to agree with the woman’s statement.

“No wan’ pants, Mommy,” she mumbled.

“Well, when we get back to the house you can take them off. But going out to the car you need them.”

Lauren mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘stupid pants’, but nodded in affirmation. Slowly, she climbed off the woman’s lap and stood on the floor, letting Normani help her into a pair of black leggings with stars on them to go with her gray NASA t-shirt. She also put on a gray and black striped beanie.

Normani helped her get her converse on, grabbed the backpack and her own purse, then asked, “You ready?” 

Lauren looked around, remembering she needed to grab Nala and her pacifier. She searched through the blankets on her bed, and then took the older woman’s hand once she had found them. “‘Eady, Mommy.”

The two made their way out of the apartment, making sure to grab Lauren’s BB-8 backpack she had left at by the front door, and Normani checked that the apartment got locked. 

Satisfied, she reached for Lauren’s hand, the girl happily accepting it, then led her down to the parking lot. The whole way down, she was thinking about how Lauren never once grumbled about being called a baby and smiled to herself.

\----------

“What the fuck do you mean Lauren had a confrontation with her dad?” Camila questioned heatedly after Normani informed her of the day’s events. 

“Camila,” the older woman said warningly.

“Why the hell was he anywhere near her? He hasn’t bothered to try talking to her in almost two fucking years now.”

“Camila, you might not be in headspace, but you still need to watch your attitude,” Normani stated seriously. “I don’t know why he was at your apartment, I didn’t hear much of their conversation except for Lauren yelling at him to go to hell.”

“He can do more than that,” the younger Latina grumbled. “Is Lauren okay though?” she asked worriedly.

The dark skinned woman shrugged. “She didn’t say much after it. She was freaked out by it, and she was deep in headspace. She didn’t put up any fight when I called her a baby or anything.”

Camila’s eyes widened comically, and her jaw dropped slightly in shock. “Seriously? Not even a little bit?”

“None at all,” Normani replied, shaking her head. “She went with Dinah to get lunch, but she’s not in as young of a headspace as when we were at your place.”

The two were interrupted by the front door opening as Dinah and Lauren entered the house.

The raven haired girl was startled when a blur of brunette hair launched at her. “‘Amz!” she greeted happily, hugging the smaller girl.

The younger brunette smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to the older girl’s forehead. “Love you, Lolo,” she murmured softly. 

Dinah looked over to Normani and motioned for the older woman to head to the kitchen, herself following behind.

“I’m going to fucking murder him,” the blonde seethed as she set the bag of food on the counter.

Normani frowned. “Um, no, let’s not. I don’t want to go to jail, and you know Ally won’t bail us out for being stupid enough to commit murder.”

The younger woman huffed, then exhaled slowly. “Lauren told me why her dad showed up.”

The older woman took in the blonde’s agitated posture and reluctantly inquired, “What did she say?”

“He found out we know each other, and just wanted to use her to get a partner with my dad.”

“That fucker. What kind of an asshole does that?” Normani muttered.

Dinah sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “One that only cares about himself?” she asked rhetorically, shrugging once again. “But if I ever see him I’m dragging his pathetic ass to hell.”

“Just please don’t do anything to get arrested. Because then Ally will yet at me because I didn’t try to stop you, and she’s scary when she’s pissed.”

“Whipped as fuck, Mani.” Dinah sighed when she only received a raised brow from the older woman. “Okay, yeah, Ally is scary when she’s pissed. Fine, I won’t do anything to get arrested.”

Camila rushed into the kitchen, now changed into more comfortable clothing then the jeans and polo shirt that was her work uniform, with Lauren following right behind. 

“Mama, we haf lunch now?” the younger girl asked, looking between the two women.

Normani was the one to answer. “Yeah, let’s get you guys fed. I know one certain baby who needs to eat.”

Lauren’s cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, and she looked down as she made her way to the table. She sat patiently, waiting for Dinah to set her bowl of mac and cheese in front of her, along with a sippy of juice. “T’anks, Mama,” she said quietly.

“You’re welcome, squirt. Need any help?”

The raven haired girl shook her head fervently. “Nuh uh, I do it myself,” she said, puffing her chest out slightly.

Dinah chuckled and shook her head amusedly. “Alright, go ahead and eat, girls,” she said as Normani set Camila’s own bowl of pasta in front of her.

It had been an extremely hectic day, the two women were happy to see both of the girls happy and contently eating their food.

\-----------

“What do you guys think of taking the girls to the mall this weekend?” Ally asked later that night after they had put the two littles to bed. “Aside from that incident with Lauren swearing, they were well behaved while Dinah was gone. And then with everything that happened today, I figured they earned a new stuffie or something, Lauren especially after today.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Normani after the last time. She sent Lauren into an anxiety attack.”

The dark skinned woman groaned, slapping the younger blonde’s arm. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t realize she’d be  _ that _ overwhelmed.”

Before Dinah could fire back a retort, Lauren appeared in the living room, Nala tucked under her arm.

“Hi baby, what’s up?” Ally asked.

The green eyed girl just shrugged and went to sit with Normani, eliciting a mock gasp of offence from Dinah.

“What is the meaning of this? Have I been replaced? Where’s Mila, she’d cuddle with me.”

“I here, Mama,” Camila said as she entered the living room.

“What are you doing up, babes?” Ally questioned, a little surprised when the younger girl climbed on top of her instead of sitting with Dinah.

“Want more cuddles, Momma,” the younger girl answered.

“I don’t get any?” Dinah questioned with an exaggerated pout.

Camila laughed and shook her head, sticking her tongue out at the taller blonde. Lauren just hid her face in Normani’s shirt.

Dinah just scoffed playfully, moving to sit in the recliner. “Fine, I don’t want to be squished if I’m not getting any cuddles out of it.”

Lauren peaked out slightly, looking over to the taller blonde. “Mama, you stay tonight?” she asked quietly, one of her hands sneaking up to hook her fingers in her mouth.

“Yeah, Mama, we have a sleepover in my room?” Camila asked excitedly, turning to the blonde with pleading eyes.

Dinah grinned, nodding. “Yeah, we can. Come on, squirts, it’s late. Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Maybe now Ally and I can sleep peacefully for once.”

“Normani, you’re half the reason I can’t ever sleep,” Ally deadpanned.

Dinah laughed loudly. “Doesn’t matter. I get to cuddle with the little ones and that’s so much better anyway.”

“Are you saying I’m not good at cuddling?”

Ally groaned, laying an arm over her eyes. “Oh my god, just go get the two to bed, please.”

Dinah nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” She held her hands out for both the two girls to take. “Come on, little ones. Let’s listen to Momma and get you two to bed.”

“We gots to get Lolo’s blankie, Mama,” Camila reminded as they walked upstairs. 

“Of course, little monkey. You two go get in bed and I’ll grab it.” 

She entered Camila’s room a few moments later with the promised blanket, and found Camila sitting up and Lauren lying down half asleep, Nala clutched tightly to her chest.

“Here you go, lovebug,” the blonde said as she handed the blanket to the green eyed girl before she climbed onto the bed between the two. She pulled Lauren closer to her and pressed a kiss to her head. “Go to sleep, Lo, We have a busy day planned for tomorrow.”

Lauren pulled her blanket close to her, and nuzzled into the blonde’s side, her eyes drooping closed as she drifted off completely.

“You, too, monkey,” Dinah said, turning to the brunette on her other side.

“‘Kay, Mama. Love you,” Camila mumbled sleepily as she also curled into the blonde and fell asleep.

“Sleep well, babies.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of past abuse.

Camila walked into her and Lauren’s shared apartment after her shift at the pet store. The two were staying at their apartment for the week because of their work hours being scheduled for various times, but also to give the women some time to themselves without having to worry about the two girls.

The younger girl smiled as she saw Lauren sleeping on the couch, but frowned when the older girl’s brows scrunched and a small whimper escaped her lips.

Camila quietly shut the door and set her bag on the floor. She approached the couch and knelt down beside the raven haired girl and sighed. There was a slight layer of sweat covering Lauren’s skin, and the older girl flinched when Camila gently placed a hand to her shoulder. 

“No, no, no, please,” Lauren uttered, her voice trembling. “Please, Dad, no.”

“Lauren, babe,” Camila spoke as the older girl’s face scrunched in discomfort and she began t toss and turn. “Lauren, come on, babe, wake up,” she urged softly, running her hand through Lauren’s hair. 

Lauren’s tossing and turning increased, and suddenly she was falling off the couch and onto the floor. She jolted up, looking around with wide, bewildered green eyes. Her gaze settled on the younger girl in front of her, and a second later flung herself into Camila, gripping the smaller girl tightly as tears streamed down her face.

The brunette held the older girl closer, rubbing Lauren’s back soothingly. “Hey, Lolo, it’s alright. You’re safe. Wherever you were in your dream, you’re not there. You’re with me, in our apartment,” she promised, pressing a tender kiss to the raven haired girl’s temple. “You’re not there. You’re with me. You are  _ safe _ , babe. You’re safe, and I’m not going to let anyone or anything hurt you.”

It took a few more minutes of hushed assurances, but finally Lauren began to settle down. She pulled away from the smaller girl and sniffled as she wiped away her tears, only to begin crying again when she realized she had wet herself sometime during her nightmare.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” the green eyed girl whispered, looking to the younger girl with a horrified expression. “I didn’t- it was an- I didn’t-”

Camila gently cupped the taller girl’s chin in her hand. “Lauren, relax, it’s fine, babe,” she assured, staring at the other girl intently. “It was an accident, I know. We can get it cleaned up. It’ll be fine. I’m not worried about the couch right now. I’m worried about  _ you _ .”

She stood up and gently pulled Lauren to her feet and began to lead the other girl to the bathroom. She started the water in the tub and turned to Lauren and instructed softly, “Take off your clothes. I’ll go throw them in the laundry room as the tub fills.”

Lauren stripped off her clothes obediently then sat on the toilet seat lid as she waited for Camila to return. It took only a minute or so for the brunette to return, a washcloth, towel and fresh clothes in hand.

Camila set the items on the counter then shut off the tub faucet. She turned, and held a hand out for the older girl before helping Lauren into the tub. 

Lauren sighed as she sat down in the warm water, sinking down as she relaxed. 

Silently, the younger girl drizzled shampoo into her hands then worked it into the older girl’s long hair, smiling to herself at the soft sighs escaping from Lauren. Camila quickly rinsed the other girl’s hair before repeating the process with conditioner, combing it out thoroughly before rinsing it. 

“You’ve always been good at this,” Lauren mumbled, breaking the peaceful quiet surrounding the two. “You’re just so gentle and meticulous about everything.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Camila left out the part of her having a lot of practice from cleaning Lauren’s bloodied and bruised body after one of Mike’s beatings. Instead, she just smiled and busied herself with draining the tub and refilling it with clean water. She grabbed the washcloth and wet it, covering it in a small amount of body wash. 

“You know I can finish up myself, right?” 

“Yes, I know that,” the younger girl replied. “But, I like taking care of you. It’s not a problem. But if you really want to do it yourself, that’s fine, too.” She handed the washcloth to the older girl before standing up. “There’s a towel and clean clothes on the counter. I’m going to go order dinner while you finish.”

“Not pizza, please,” Lauren requested.

Camila pouted, earning an eye roll from the other girl. “Fine. What about Thai food?”

Lauren grinned and nodded. “Yes, please.”

An hour later, the two were sitting on the couch, empty plates and take out containers on the small coffee table, and Lauren laying with her head in Camila’s lap. The Lion King was playing quietly on the tv, but the older girl was the only one of the pair paying attention.

The younger Latina paused the movie and looked down at the other girl. “Can we talk, Lo?” she asked quietly, running her hand slowly through the girl’s hair.

Lauren gave a wary look. “About what?”

Camila shrugged. “I’d like to know what your nightmare earlier was about, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I did want to ask how you’re doing with everything that’s happened lately.”

Lauren sat up, her hands falling into her lap. “I’m pretty sure you already know what it was about,” she mumbled quietly. “I dreamt I was back with my dad.”

Camila sighed sadly as her suspicions were confirmed. She pulled the taller girl into her arms, hugging her tightly. “You’re not. And you won’t be ever again. And if that fucker ever tries to come near you again, that’ll be the day he meets Satan himself.”

Lauren pulled back and sent the smaller girl an aghast look. “Camila, no. It’s not worth it.”

“What he did to you was  _ fucked  _ up, Lauren!” the brunette argued. “If I ever see him again, I will make sure he knows just how much he fucked up.”

“Assuming he doesn’t run into Normani or Dinah first. That day he showed up here, Normani looked like she was ready to murder him.”

“Yeah, well, he deserves it,” Camila muttered, sighing. “I know he’s your dad, but he treated you like shit, babe. I won’t ever apologize for being pissed at him. He doesn’t know just how awesome of a daughter he has because he’s a selfish bastard.”

Lauren nodded, giving a small smile. “You don’t have to apologize, Camz.”

“Good. Because I won’t.” 

The green eyed girl smiled and leaned over to kiss the other girl’s cheek. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Camz. I love you.”

Camila grinned and tackled the older girl so they were both lying on the couch then kissed Lauren’s cheek. “Well, for starters, you’d probably still be denying the fact you’re actually just a little baby.”

The older Latina gasped, offended, and shoved the smaller girl off the couch. “I hate you so much.”

Camila just shot up and plopped onto the older girl, unperturbed. “No, you don’t. You just told me you loved me.”

“I take it back. You’re annoying.”

The brunette stuck her tongue out playfully. “That’s not how it works, Lolo.” She shifted until she was spooning the older girl, Lauren’s head on her shoulder. “Okay, but seriously, I do want to know how you’re doing. We haven’t really talked about it, but are you comfortable with your headspace and everything?”

Lauren nodded, burrowing further into the smaller girl. “I could do without the teasing about being a baby, but yeah, everything is fine.”

“To be fair, it’s mostly Dinah who calls you a baby, but it’s also true.” She caught Lauren’s hand as the other girl went to slap her. “Hey, no, listen. It’s  _ fine _ that your headspace is a younger age than mine. There is absolutely  _ nothing _ wrong with it. If that’s how you find the most comfort from it, it is perfectly okay. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

Lauren huffed, but settled back down. “I just don’t particularly like being called out on it, alright?”

“Well, according to Ally, you called yourself a baby. Dinah almost fell out of her chair when Ally told us that. So it’s totally confirmed. Lauren Jauregui is a little baby.”

“I’m going to shove you off this couch again.”

Camila just laughed and shook her head as she pressed a tender kiss to the girl’s forehead. “It’s just so funny because you were so fucking stubborn in the beginning.”

“It was hard to accept their help,” Lauren admitted. “It’s always been just you on my side, you know? You’re parents were always at work, and I tried to avoid them as much as possible so they wouldn’t find out about my dad. So when it came to letting Dinah, Normani, and Ally help, it was just hard for me to do because it’d just been you for so long.”

The smaller girl gave a small smile. “Doesn’t it feel so much better knowing there’s more than just me on your side now?”

Lauren nodded, snuggling into the other girl once again. “Yeah, it does. And I’m really happy you’ve been with me this whole. I don’t think I would have been able to accept it if I had t do it alone.”

Camila held the older girl tightly, kissing her cheek. “It’ll always be you and me, Lolo,” she promised. “No matter what, I’ll always be by your side.”


	36. Chapter 36

Lauren took a breath as she reached for the door handle.

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Dinah asked from the passenger seat. 

The green eyed girl shook her head. “No, I’ll be okay.”

Normani gave her a small smile. “We’ll be here if you need us.”

Ally turned in her spot from the driver’s seat. “Take your time, Lauren. We’ll be waiting here.”

Lauren nodded and hopped out of the car. She began to walk away, almost like she was on autopilot. It had been a while, but she still knew exactly how to get where she headed.

Her mom’s grave.

She couldn’t remember when the last time she had been here, but it was sometime shortly before she got her determination letter. 

Lauren slowly sat down on the dirt and ran a hand over the smooth marble of the headstone. She was too young when her mom died that she doesn’t remember much of anything about her, but her dad would always bring her here on her mom’s birthday, before he turned into an asshole, anyways. After he began to get so invested in his company, Lauren would come here on her own. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around in a while,” she spoke quietly to the air. “A lot has been going on.” She fiddled with her hands in her lap for a moment before continuing. “I got my determination letter a few months ago. And, and it wasn’t what I wanted. At first.” 

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling after a moment. “I didn’t think there could anything worse than Dad beating me, but when I first read that letter and saw Little as the result, I thought it was the end of the world.” She gave small laugh and shook her head. “Obviously it wasn’t, but I was so scared, but I’m not exactly sure what I was scared about, really. 

Camila, she’s known since freshman year that she was a little. And I helped her out until she could find actual caregivers. I don’t know how she did it, but she found three that are  _ perfect _ . And they were willing to help me, too. And I’m so grateful for them.”

She stopped and turned to look back at Ally’s car where it was parked at the entrance.

“They’re amazing. They’re so loving and nice, and they were just so patient and gentle while I figured everything out.” She stopped to laugh once again. “Ally is definitely the most mature of the three, though. But I don’t know what I would do without Camila or them. Maybe Camz was right. Maybe I would still be denying the fact that I’m just a baby.”

She wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged herself tightly. “I think things would be a lot different if you were still here, though. Maybe Dad would have actually cared about me and wouldn’t have hit me like he did.” She sniffled slightly and wiped away a few tears. “Maybe my test determination would have been different. I don’t know.” She shrugged and leaned back on her arms. 

“Maybe a lot of things would have been different. And, sometimes I wish they were. But I’ve found people who care about me now, and it’s okay. Camila’s been on my side since I was five, and she always will be. And now I’ve got Dinah, Normani, and Ally, even though it took a while to accept their help. And Dinah likes to tease me about being a baby, but that’s okay, too. I know she means well.”

She took another look at Ally’s car, and saw a figure standing in front of it this time. 

Lauren turned back to the grave and gave a watery smile. “I didn’t want the result I got at first, but now I think it’s the one I needed most. With them, I’ve learned a lot. Like just how messed up my life was as a kid.” She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “They’re going to help me see if I can still press charges against Dad. I don’t know if it’s too late or not, but I don’t think he should get to get away with it. And even if there is nothing I can do but it means I never talk to him again, I’ll be okay. 

I have Camz and her family, Dinah, Mani, and Ally. And I still have you, in a way. So, yeah, I’ll be okay.” She grinned widely before adding, “In fact, I’m going to ask Camila out later today.”

She heard footsteps approaching, and gave a final sad smile. “I still miss you, but I thought you might like to hear a little bit of what’s been happening with me. I’ll make sure to visit again sooner, Mom.”

She stood and brushed off her legs, and turned to see Camila slowly walking towards her. 

“You okay, Lo?” the younger girl asked cautiously.

Lauren nodded and reached for the brunette’s hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. Did I take too long?”

Camila shook her head. “No, I just wanted to be sure you were okay. You can stay longer if you need to.”

The green eyed girl smiled as she shook her head. “No, it’s alright. I was done anyways.”

The smaller girl wrapped an arm around the other girl’s waist as they walked back to the car. “Ally said we could get lunch before we went back to their house. Want anything in particular?”

Lauren smirked slightly. “Pizza?”

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” Camila grinned and leaned up to press a kiss to the older girl’s cheek.

They continued in silence before Lauren spoke again. “Camz?”

“Hmm? What’s up?”

The raven haired girl stopped and looked to the younger girl seriously. “We’re still gonna take on the world together, right?”

Camila smiled softly and nodded, squeezing Lauren’s hand tightly. “We’re gonna take on the world together, Lo,” she confirmed, nodding resolutely. “Together.”

Lauren nodded and smiled. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
